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Sex Education

The conversation around sex is changing with 'vanilla shaming' and more openness than ever before

Jenna Ryu
USA TODAY
  • Historically, the sex conversation has been uncomfortable, taboo and limited.
  • But on TikTok, people are shaming "vanilla sex" and opening up about enjoying kinky sex.
  • Experts say the trend is just one example of how the sex conversation is expanding after years of stigma.
  • Contrary to popular belief, unconventional sex can still be healthy sex.

Talking about sex openly has long been taboo, and when those conversations do occur, they've historically centered on what is seen as conventional, "healthy," plain, old sex. Or what some these days are calling "vanilla sex" – and rolling their eyes at. 

Recently, some on social media have started a trend of "vanilla sex shaming," or ridiculing those who enjoy conventional sex – devoid of kink or fetishes .On TikTok, people have been making videos rejecting it as inherently bad, boring or plain, and even high-profile influencers, such as Emma Chamberlain, have admitted being "embarrassed" for liking vanilla sex.

Michelle Hope, a sexologist and reproductive justice activist, says our outdated perceptions about sex are rooted in "Christian fundamentalism, and the idea of, 'What is the correct moral obligation when sex is an activity we do?'"