Assorted Stupidity #149

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  • “Would you let a robot lawyer defend you?” this headline asks, but then it turns out to be about software. I would absolutely let a robot lawyer defend me, but only if it were an actual robot with limbs and “uncanny valley” facial expressions to unsettle all who gazed upon it. In a pinch I would accept one of those robot dogs that some companies are making. I mean, obviously in a couple of decades those will be helping hunt down the last human survivors, but if one could help me beat this speeding ticket right now I’m willing to overlook that.
  • A gentleman who was pulled over last week in Nottingham, England, admitted to police that he was driving without a license. Why am I mentioning this here? Because it turns out he had been driving without a license for more than 70 years. Born in 1938, he had been driving since the age of 12 (so about the time the Korean War was getting started), and apparently had been fairly good at it because he had no run-ins with police during the next seven decades. He also had not been involved in any accidents, which is good because he also admitted he has never had insurance.
  • “Whoever was tasked with legal research at Spice DAO seems to have bungled it badly,” says Wired Magazine. Seems fair, given that Spice DAO spent $3 million to buy a book related to Dune (the production book for a previously planned movie version), apparently believing this would give it some sort of copyright allowing it to create derivative works. What it actually owns is a book. The company, which is some sort of crypto thing, has since denied that it believed it was buying intellectual property rights, although that doesn’t explain why it paid $3 million for a book. But then no one can explain crypto, either, at least not to me.
  • I should say that if someone wants the right to create something crypto related to The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance, or frankly anything related to The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance, I have a physical copy here that I would let go for just $2.99 million (the rights would cost one (1) additional dollar). I guess this is less appealing now than it would have been, given the paragraph above. Well, the business end of this has never been my strength.
  • “Ladies and gentlemen, the case that the government is attempting to feed you has a giant cockroach in the middle of the plate,” said Michael Avenatti, unwisely representing himself in the criminal case related to his representation of Stormy Daniels. He was making his closing argument to the jury. “Would you eat that dish or would you send it back?” he asked. “I submit that you would send it back,” he said, helpfully answering the question for any jurors unsure what they would do in that situation. Presumably, Avenatti was hoping to benefit by associating this negative image with the government’s case, but that may not be what jurors associate with “giant cockroach” here.
  • If you live in McMinn County, Tennessee, and would like to get a free copy of “Maus,” the Pulitzer Prize-winning graphic novel about the Holocaust that the school board recently banned because it has some profanity and partial nudity in it, this comic-book store owner will send you one (if he has any left). If not, you can get one here. It looks like, as usual, trying to ban something so people can’t read it means that more people than ever will end up reading it. (Sadly, no one tried to ban The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance, though maybe it’s not too late. There is some profanity.)