How I'm moving on after some very bad luck

On Friday I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. 

I was making dinner around 7:00 p.m. when I heard a very loud bang outside my house. When my husband and I looked out our front door to investigate we were horrified to discover someone had crashed their car right into ours. 

Thankfully no one involved in the accident was seriously injured, but our car was totaled. Now, as we wait on police reports and insurance and a rental car, we're relying on the kindness of friends and family for trips to the grocery store and Costco, and we are frantically searching for a new car.

It's a lot, on top of all of our other anxieties as we prepare for a new baby – not to mention all the errands we planned on running last weekend that weren't possible. It's part of a recent string of unexpected expenses and stressors, including a roof leak after Ida ripped through Philadelphia that will cost a few thousand dollars to fix. On top of everything the car incident happened the weekend of our wedding anniversary. 

When things like this happen, we all have our own way of responding, and there's no right way to take care of your responsibilities and your mental health after a disaster or setback. I can tell you what's been working for me, which has been to focus on planning and pivoting. I've already got a spreadsheet of potential new cars going, and am updating our baby to-do list to accommodate our limited transportation options. My husband has been feeling more relaxed about the whole thing because it wasn't our fault – our car was parked legally, our registration and insurance were up to date, and we weren't behind the wheel. For him it's just a waiting game until we move on to the next steps. 

I think, together, we'll be able to deal with it. No matter how expensive or stressful. 

Today's dating advice

Our mental health columnist, the Millennial Therapist, is offering some sage advice about dating in an answer to a reader's question this week. 

Question:"After a couple of tough years emotionally (dealing with assault and PTSD) I recently broke up with my wonderful boyfriend to focus on my own health, recovery and well-being.

Since then, I have met at least five incredible men. All very, very eligible bachelors. Do I stick to my guns and take this time alone? Or give one of these guys a chance?"

Answer: We've all been there – swearing off dating to work on ourselves. The intention comes from a good place, but it’s often challenged when we meet incredible people. Whether the time is “right” to date has less to do with who we meet and is more to do with the state of our relationship with ourselves.

It’s not always easy to know when you are ready to get back out there. The only way to answer that question is to be honest with yourself. Take the time to ask yourself these questions: 

• What has actually changed since my last relationship?
• Why do I want to start dating?
• Did I give myself enough time to heal?
• Am I at a place where I can properly balance my self-care with a relationship with another person?

Take things slowly. Just because you choose to enter into a relationship does not mean you have to throw caution to the wind.

Read the full column here. 

Today's reads

• Don't say 'Happy Yom Kippur': How to greet someone observing the Jewish Day of Atonement, is observed from sundown Wednesday to sundown Thursday. 
• Most kids who suffer crippling long COVID symptoms get better. Doctors worry about those who don’t.
• Are you looking to buy a house? Now might be the perfect time if you are in these metro markets including Denver, Detroit, Minneapolis and Portland. 
• The glamorous and eccentric Met Gala was last night in New York. See our favorite looks from the wild red carpet.
• Fall TV is upon us! I watched dozens of new TV shows to find the 10 that you should actually spend time watching this pumpkin spice season, from "The Wheel of Time" to "Muhammad Ali." 

Today's pet

Here's a picture of Apollo begging for attention at dinner time (and not actually begging for the food). 

I gave in and pet him. As I always do.