Dude Shows How To Tie Down A Watermelon

We don't know about you, but we have a serious problem when we go to the store to buy one watermelon, throw it in the back of our pickup, and drive home while zig-zagging across the road like a club-footed crab. We keep getting home, finding melon splattered all over our pickup and end up having to toss our hard-earned melon in the trash, and go back to the store, just to repeat the process 5 to 10 times that day until we give up. We keep thinking to ourselves, "If only there were a convoluted solution to this problem that could take seven minutes of knot-tying!"