Emily Sonnessa, LGBTQ rights pioneer and 'Love Wins' documentary subject, dies at 91

Emily Sonnessa, a pioneer for LGBTQ rights in New Jersey and the subject of the acclaimed documentary "Love Wins," has died.

Sonnessa, 91, lived in the Ocean Grove section of Neptune in New Jersey with her wife, Jan Moore. She died on Friday, June 11, according to her obituary posted by Ely Funeral Home in Neptune.

She and Moore first met in 1960, and were together for decades before being joined in a civil union ceremony in 2007. New Jersey legalized same-sex marriage in October 2013, and the couple was married the next month. According to their wedding announcement published in the Asbury Park Press, part of the USA TODAY Network, Sonnessa was 84, Moore was 77, and their wedding date, Nov. 20, was their 44th anniversary.

"It was like having a whole new life," Sonnessa recalled in a 2015 interview with the Press. "I just couldn't believe that it could happen in my lifetime. … Here it is, somebody getting all the benefits that everybody else has, like you're part of the country. You're a human being just like everybody else is. I thought it was wonderful."

Pride Month 2021: The biggest moments for the LGBTQ+ community in the past year

10 new LGBTQ books to celebrate Pride Month: Gay ‘Great Gatsby,’ ‘Queer Bible,’ more

In a Monday afternoon social media post, Gov. Phil Murphy described Sonnessa as "an icon in our LGBTQIA+ community."

"Emily Sonnessa wasn’t just a fighter for marriage equality — she campaigned across the country on matters of health care access and equity for the LGBTQIA+ community," Murphy wrote. "Because of her work, we are a better state."

Christian Fuscarino, executive director of Asbury Park-based education and advocacy organization Garden State Equality, described Sonnessa's passing as "a tremendous loss for the LGBTQ community."

"Both Emily, and her wife Jan Moore, have contributed many decades of tireless work for the advancement of equality in New Jersey — especially for LGBTQ older adults," said Fuscarino. "We will miss Emily — her legacy no doubt will continue through Jan's advocacy and the energy that she leaves with each of us in the movement."

When Moore met Sonnessa, Moore’s ex-husband and Sonnessa were co-workers. Eventually Moore and her husband separated, and the women began quietly living together in Rutherford, raising a family, before moving to Ocean Grove.

Sonnessa and Moore's story was the subject of "Love Wins," director Robin Kampf's 2016 documentary short that was honored at a number of film festivals. 

"Their story represents a lot of our stories, mine included," Kampf told the Press in 2016. "I’m (in my) mid-50s, so I grew up with the closeted life as well. It certainly wasn’t to the great extent that they did because think about it, for 80-plus years they’d been living it. So, they went through it a lot longer and harder than we did."

According to her obituary, Sonnessa is survived by a family including Moore and the three children they raised together. In lieu of flowers, the obituary requests mourners consider donations to Garden State Equality. 

In accordance with Sonessa's wishes, there will be no public memorial or service, with the obituary suggesting an alternate way to celebrate her life: "She hopes you will raise a glass and smile in her honor, and be kind to one other."

Kay Lahusen, photojournalist and LGBTQ rights pioneer, dies at 91