East Lansing couple weds amid coronavirus, with empty pews and a livestream

EAST LANSING - Before Becky and Mike Brown decided to replace the wedding celebration they'd spent months planning with one they could pull together in hours Becky called her parents at their home in North Carolina.

It was March 23 and Gov. Gretchen Whitmer had just announced a state-mandated "stay home, stay safe" order amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

The Browns had already advised most of the 120 guests they invited to their March 28 wedding, more than half who live out of state, not to plan on coming. 

But Becky wanted to know, if they waited to marry over the coming weekend, was there any chance her parents could be there?

“Are you coming?” she asked them. “If you’re coming I’ll wait until Saturday.”

Once she knew they weren't, Becky, 37, and Mike, 43, turned to Rev. Kristin Stroble and her staff at Eastminster Presbyterian Church in East Lansing.

They were married a few hours later in a largely empty sanctuary in front of less than a dozen friends and family. From living rooms and on laptops in Michigan, across the country and overseas, friends and family watched the impromptu ceremony via a livestreamed video on the church's Facebook page. 

It wasn't the ceremony Becky or Mike wanted or envisioned, she said, but that didn't make it any less important.

"It’s still the start of our marriage together," Becky said. "There’s still a lot of joy in it."

A proposal before a pandemic

Becky, a pastor with the Presbyterian Church, and Mike, a business analyst from Chicago, met though Bumble, an online dating app. 

The service is location-based and ordinarily wouldn't have connected Becky, who was living in East Lansing, with Mike, who lived in Chicago. They found one another in August while Mike was in Lansing attending a baseball game at Cooley Law School Stadium with his parents.

They met face-to-face two weeks later.

“We met at the dog park so I could make sure he wasn’t going to murder me,” Becky said, laughing.

They had dinner at a local restaurant, then explored the Eli and Edythe Broad Art Museum on Michigan State University's campus.

The couple got engaged the day after Thanksgiving, at the Meridian Historical Village.

Becky spent four months planning their March 28 wedding, creating her own place cards, flower arrangements and decorations. About 120 guests, more than half of whom live out of state, were expected to attend the church ceremony and a reception at Hawk Hollow Golf Course in Bath.

In early March, Becky went to get their marriage license and remembers joking with Mike about the possibility that the coronavirus could impact their big day.

“We both took the situation seriously from the outset, but it was like, ‘I better go get the marriage license before the government shuts down,’ and then the next week it did shut down.”

Two weeks before their impending wedding date, vendors began canceling. The Browns started advising guests not to plan on coming.

“This one day isn’t worth your life or anyone else's,” Becky told her grandparents, who live in Florida.

“We wanted them there, but if it’s not safe, it’s not safe," she said, even though she admitted there was heartbreak in letting go of the celebration they'd wanted.

“We’re both older and we both didn’t know if we’d get married," Becky said. "This has been something that was a great surprise in our lives. We were really looking forward to celebrating that with each other and with our friends and family.”

“If I could have done anything, put a bubble over the church and made sure that everybody could get there, I would have done it,” Mike said.

The couple had settled on a small gathering even before the March 23 state mandate was issued. After hearing about it, they decided to get married that day.

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An impromptu, livestreamed wedding

Mike, who was at work when they decided to marry that day, abruptly left, and Becky started decorating the church before getting dressed and ready for the ceremony.

They secured a photographer with the help of family, and a cake from a local baker.

While Becky was putting on jewelry from her grandparents she video chatted with her mom, shedding tears as she got ready.

The pews were nearly empty when Becky walked down the aisle that night. Her dog Marvin, a 10-year-old Puggle, was her escort.

"Friends, what remains steady in a time such as this is that God is love, and so we gather not at the time that was planned with only a few gathered here and many more online to declare that love abides," Stroble said at the start of the ceremony.

Then she talked about "love in the time of corona."

"....having love in the time of corona means having plan A, B, C and then throwing all of them out of the window," Stroble said. "Love in the time of corona means finding new ways to love and care for each other from a distance.”

A few family members and friends were there with them, but the video of their wedding has been viewed more than 900 times. Many people watched as it streamed, commenting as it happened.

Perfect love stories don’t exist, Stroble said, but love can sustain people through seasons and troubles.

“With all the pressure of what’s happening it was just like this little happy oasis of time in which you didn’t have to think about it, I guess,” Mike said. “You still thought about it because of everyone that wasn’t there, but it’s still hope in the midst of things.”

The Browns watched the ceremony the next day, paying attention to the comments. They want to add all the spectators to their wedding guest book. Their plans for a honeymoon in Cancun following the wedding have been postponed.

For now the couple, living in a one-bedroom apartment in East Lansing, is sheltering in place together. Their bedroom doubles as Mike’s office as he works from home.

“It is an interesting time," Becky said. "I think we’ll be sort of forged in the fire. Mike is very extroverted and always likes something going on, I’m very introverted and like to just hang out in the quiet. I think the next few weeks we’ll learn how to live well with each other."

Contact Rachel Greco at rgreco@lsj.com. Follow her on Twitter @GrecoatLSJ.