Transgender Day of Remembrance vigil held as debates emerge on gender identity education

T-ball was the final strike.

Megan Goebel's child refused to play, to even wear a uniform. Assigned male at birth, the child insisted she was a girl almost from the time she could talk, expressing the gender through the clothes she wore, the way she acted and a persistence that never ebbed.

Now 5 and a kindergartener in the Conejo Valley Unified School District, she's neither undergone surgery nor received hormone treatment. But she is a girl, said her mother Tuesday at a Transgender Day of Remembrance event held before a district school board meeting in Thousand Oaks.

"There is unfortunately a huge fear and misunderstanding," said Goebel of community acceptance of the transgender community. "Because their brain doesn't match their body doesn't mean they're any less deserving of respect and acceptance."

The annual day of remembrance that protests violence, persecution and what organizers call transphobia was recognized nationwide on Wednesday. Two dozen people gathered a day early primarily because gender identity has emerged as a constant issue at school board meetings in the form of public comment debates over how and whether it should be taught in schools.

"It is highly unfortunate that CVUSD district offices during the prelude to a school board meeting is the appropriate location of a Transgender Day of Remembrance vigil," said Jon Cummings, father of a transgender high school student and an organizer of the event. "Hopefully, in future years such events will be less necessary elsewhere and particularly unnecessary here."

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People held candles in a circle framed by a rainbow banner dressed as an American flag. They held pictures of transgender people killed this year across the nation.

In some instances, the intolerance people faced continued into death because their gender was misidentified.

"Their loved ones have to deal with the hatred that continues," said a transgender woman who identified herself as Sean.

José Luis Pino is facilitator for the Oak Park/Conejo Valley chapter of a PFLAG group for LGBTQ people and their families. He focused on the story of Leelah Alcorn, a transgender teen from Ohio who killed herself by walking in front of a truck in 2014. She left a note that included the message, "Fix society. Please."

"That's what we're doing here," Pino said. "We're helping to fix society."

Two area high school students who are part of a Gay Straight Alliance club attended the remembrance. They talked about instances of intolerance and misunderstanding, citing an instance where a sign sheet was defaced by scribbling.

"It's not all sunshine and rainbows," said one of the students.

Celia Daniels, 50, of Thousand Oaks, worries about the acceptance for transgender people in schools and workplaces, focusing also on access to health care. But she thinks people in the Conejo Valley are becoming more accepting.

"There is hope," said Daniels, who identifies as gender fluid. "Five years ago, there was nothing."

More:How Conejo Valley school board meetings became Tuesday night fights over education

When the remembrance ended, some participants walked into the school board meeting. Gender issues emerged during public comments through references to parent's rights and even a brief presentation by a doctor who focused on the complexity of diagnoses of gender dysphoria and the possibility of misdiagnosis.

Ginger Brandenburg, a retired Moorpark High School teacher, talked at the podium about the confusion that could come out of gender identity education at a young age.

"To me, this belongs in the home," she said.

Before the meeting, Megan Goebel said she advocates for early education, saying it could help young children start to understand what they're feeling. She talked too about her child's certainty of who she is.

"She said, 'I'm not a boy. I'm a girl," Goebel said. "She was persistent, consistent and insistent."

People are sometimes quick to judge and certain of the assumptions they make, Goebel said. They are often afraid to ask questions. They shouldn't be.

"I think the more they know, the less scary it seems," she said.

Tom Kisken covers health care and other news for the Ventura County Star. Reach him at tom.kisken@vcstar.com or 805-437-0255.