Divorce filings way down in Michigan. So are marriages.

Michigan residents aren't heading to divorce court as often as they used to.

Divorce petitions declined statewide by 17.9% from 2003 to 2017, according to Michigan Supreme Court data.

They've also declined in Clinton County (by 9%), Eaton County (by 22%) and Ingham County (by 20%) over the same time period.

Marriages declined, too, dipping statewide by 7.7% from 2003 to 2017, according to data from the Michigan Department of Health & Human Services. Fewer people were marrying in Eaton (a 3.9% decline) and Ingham (a 17% decline) counties. Clinton County saw a slight (2.3%) increase in marriages. 

Experts say the decline in divorce petitions is largely generational, driven particularly by women under age 45. 

“Younger people today are less likely to get married than they were before, and when they do, they marry later on average,” said Philip Cohen, a researcher and sociology professor at the University of Maryland, who studies marriage and divorce trends. “They are also more likely to have higher education when they marry. These factors contribute to the falling divorce rate.”

So what does this mean for couples in Michigan?

Marriage is becoming rarer, Cohen concluded, but also more stable. 

Waiting to get married

The downward divorce trend seen in Michigan was also found nationally by Cohen, who studied U.S. Census Bureau survey data. He found the divorce rate dropped 21% from 2008 to 2017. 

“In my study, the entire decline in divorce rates was driven by changes among younger people — specifically women under age 45,” Cohen said.

Using marital events data from the U.S. Census Bureau's American Community Survey, Cohen noted that most of the women in his sample were in their mid-thirties, college-educated and had entered their first marriage. 

“One reason people marry less, and later, may be because they don't want to end up getting divorced. They value marriage very highly, and they only want to enter into marriages when they are confident it will work out,” said Cohen.

That fits with what Richard Garcia has seen in his 20 years as a probate judge in Ingham County. He's presided over many divorce cases and also believes young couples are waiting longer to get married.

“The people I see are getting divorced later on. I don’t see young people in court getting divorced,” Garcia said.

Getting married later in life

Veronica Keyes never thought she’d be married.

“My mother was amazing. She raised my sister and I alone. Seeing my mom do everything, it didn’t seem important to be married. I knew it wasn’t necessary to have a full life,” Keyes said.

She had spent much of her 30s earning her master’s and doctoral degrees in archaeology. Many of her graduate school friends were in the same boat, she added, putting off marriage in favor of accomplishing their dreams.

“She has been on this path since she was 7-years-old. Her mother told stories about how she would be searching for dinosaur fossils,” Keyes' husband, David, said. “This was something she was planning to do. I came in near the tail end.”

Veronica had completed her Ph.D. when David came back into her life.

The two first met at Everett High School in Lansing but traveled in different social circles. They were acquaintances who danced together once at a high school party.  

Their lives took them on separate paths. Then 20 years or so later, David responded to one of Veronica’s Facebook posts.

It included a photo of her wearing a Boston Red Sox jersey. He teased her about the jersey. Then he asked her out. They were married a year and a half later in 2017. Veronica was 38. David was 40.

“I’ve never been able to communicate with any woman like I can with her,” said David, who is now 42.

David too went off to college after high school. He intended to be a teacher but decided he didn't want to take a substantial pay cut from his career at FedEx. He bought a house and tried figuring out relationships.

Unlike his wife, David thought he’d be married earlier.

“I came from a nuclear family with two kids and one dog. I assumed I’d be married at 22 like my parents. That didn’t work out," he said. "Relationships are hard."

The two also discovered they were on the same page about their long-term goals.   

“We thought about traveling and retiring by our mid-50s, and next thing you know, we found out we were expecting,” David said. “We wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

Veronica agrees.

“I never thought he’d exist,” she said, referring to her 3-year-old son, Xavier. “Now we have this kid, and he is the most amazing thing that happened.”

David and Veronica weren’t dating for very long when she learned that she had received a post-doctoral opportunity in Hawaii. David sold his house and followed Veronica to Hawaii, where they currently live. 

“I had a certain idea of my life, and a person came in and made it better,” she said.

Filing for divorce in Michigan

Several Ingham County attorneys said the decline in divorce petitions hasn't hurt their business.  

Based on the number of divorce cases Bailey & Terranova handles, attorney Patrick Bailey was surprised that divorce filings were going down. He thought the opposite. 

“I think divorces have gone up because of social media usage. It’s easier for people to bail because they think there are other alternatives, such as on dating apps and Facebook,” stated Bailey.  

So, what’s really going on?

Part of it may be that, while the internet has allowed many divorce seekers to learn how to represent themselves, lawyers still see the most contentious of cases. 

Bailey said 75% of the cases his firm handles are contentious.

“Some say it won’t be contentious. Then we get into details, and they start arguing,” Bailey said. “It’s a tough time for people.”

Attorney Scott Marshall Neuman said only about 1 and 20 of the divorce cases his firm handles are amicable.

Getting married on a different timeline

There are, of course, still some couples getting married in their 20s. But it's unusual for those who feel like they're going against expectations.

Carlyn Kimmey has friends who waited eight years before getting married. She surprised herself by not waiting longer. Kimmey was 25, and her husband, Jordan, was 29 when they married. 

She thought the concept of getting married after a short time dating someone sounded crazy until she met her husband. 

“(My mother) always told me ‘You don’t want to go through divorce at a young age',” Carlyn said.

She and Jordan met in 2015 while working at the Lansing Brewing Co. They were together for a year and a half before they said their vows in 2017.

“It felt right,” Jordan explained. "We go by our own timeline. We knew it was the right move to make.”

Contact Kristan Obeng at KObeng@lsj.com or 517-267-1344. Follow her on Twitter @KrissyObeng.

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