Stop Ripping Each Other Apart!

The church is comprised of flawed people, and that is why we must show grace to one another and stop ripping each other apart.

If you’ve been in the church for a while, then you have either experienced being torn down by someone inside the church or you have been a part of a conversation, where tearing down someone else was the topic of discussion.

Jesus said “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
(John 13:35)

Jesus tells us to love one another and yet sometimes we minimize this command and do not take him seriously.

In today’s video, I share how this is something I have struggled with and I give 3 ways to avoid this inside the church.

{If you are reading this in an email or feed –click here to view the video}


This is Jesus’ prayer for the church, in John 17:20-23:

20 “I ask…for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.22 The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, 23 I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.

Jesus prayed for the church, that we would be one so that the world would believe!  But the enemy has come against God and he uses US as tools to rip each other apart. Be careful!  We must guard our words and not be divisive or be enablers to others who are divisive.

Look what God says he will do to someone who tries to destroy or rip apart the church in 1 Corinthians 3:17:

17 If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.

This is serious to God.  We must stop ripping apart each other and ripping apart our pastors, preachers, leaders, other churches, and our Bible believing, gospel preaching sisters and brothers in Christ.

I have suffered some very painful times as a result of being ripped apart.  I have literally thought – if I did not have the security of God’s love for me, from years of knowing Jesus – these people would make me want to run for the hills rather than stay inside the church.

But here’s where the tables need to turn – and I need to ask myself…who have I done that too? Am I guilty of these very things?  I admitted in the video – I have not always done this well.

Titus 3:9-11 says:

But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. 10 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. 11 You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.

If someone wants to keep attacking people in the Church – do not provide a warm fuzzy place for them – instead God says – get away from them!  Have nothing to do with them.  Don’t play around with this – because the unity of the church is serious to God.

God wants to use our unity to shine as lights in a dark world.

This is God’s will for us.

So you may be wondering, how in the world do we unite across denominations and admist people’s short comings and different personalites inside the church?

My answer is…unite around the gospel and agree to disagree on secondary doctrines and issues.

If you didn’t watch the video, I encourage you to do that because I explain this a bit further and we also look at how God is going to deal with those who are teaching things that are not accurate.

Keep loving one another.

Walk with the King,


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  1 Corinthians Bible Study Journal,
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19 Comments

  1. Great video, Courtney! Thank you for your dedication, truth, and love. My husband and I are doing this study together every day. He said “Courtney’s questions are really making me think. I love them.” Thank you for helping us walk with God deeper. Sending you love!

  2. Great video! I am learning and growing in God’s will! Desiring and being a servant of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
    Thank you for sharing.

  3. Great message in the video! I’ve followed you for a few years and recall the incident you struggled with. Thanks for sharing your view if it now. It really spoke to me about some of my own experiences with disagreements that led to division. God’s timing is perfect putting 1 Corinthians study in my life at this moment! Thank you and keep up the great work!

  4. I was gutted by a church member… sooo hurt! Don’t even want to attend church functions or bible studies because of it. I consider it my fault for being hurt.

    Many people in the church are drinking nonfat mild… not even whole milk. When were saved, a tiny spark inside us ignited. We need to help the Holy Spirit to grow us by staying on path.

    I’m truly enjoying this study. I love that Paul said that we are still saved, but may not receive any rewards. I work with Mormons and Catholics… Many different doctrines… I don’t correct, just try to be kind and loving. When people are really hurting, the doorway, without fail, is wide open for the gospel for a season.

    1. I’m so sorry for the pain you have experienced inside the church Patty – I’ve been there and it’s terrible!

      Keep on loving and sharing the gospel truth. We must pray that God opens their eyes – his truth has the power to do just that!

      Much Love,
      Courtney 🙂

  5. I am new here! Just starting today and I just watched this video. I love this message. It rings so true to the way I have felt for quite sometime now. So many people I know in church are so divided and can’t seem to come together when needed and it has really left me feeling heartbroken because I know that together as a whole we are better even with the minor differences. I’m excited to start reading through the Bible with everyone!

  6. These are hard conviction teachings that challenge the very core of all humans. I am reminded in James that its says how we ourselves also have cursed others under our breath. We cant he hippocrates even though it makes us feel better. I did leave my church 4 years ago because there was too much ripping and not enough repenting. It didnt feel like a safe place anymore. Am I unsaved if I dont attend a church? The bible does says in end times even the believers will turn against each other! Yes it says that in the gospels.

    1. I’m so sorry for what you went through in your church Lin. You asked if you are unsaved if you don’t attend church and the answer is no. We are saved by grace through faith in Jesus. We are saved by grace and faith alone. BUT God created the church for us because we were not meant to live in isolation. We need each other – the church needs you and you need them. We are to be a family – so I encourage you to pray and seek out a new local church in your area. God loves you – don’t give up!

      Much Love,
      Courtney 🙂

    1. Hi Ashley,

      This is too private and tender for me to share publicly but I will say that we are two flawed lovers of Jesus and God has been gracious to us both. God has redeemed the situation and a lot of good has come out of it.

      Much Love,
      Courtney

  7. Thanks for this message Courtney. I loved when you said we are all servants at the foot of the cross. I found myself recently being judgmental about a pastor and how he “should” behave. It wasn’t fair. And I’m sorry I did that. This week taught me to lift up one another within the church family in love to the glory of God.

    What also stuck to me and something I don’t give enough thought to probably on purpose is the biblical truth of God and how we will all be judged and rewarded for what we have done here on earth as Christians. If I’m being honest, I feel like God would want me to do more in terms of serving but I don’t want to. I suppose that’s an obedience thing. I’d like to have stronger belief and conviction on how God will reward us at the end.

  8. I just want to thank you for this ministry. In the last two years leading to her starting college, my daughter and I began doing these Bible studies together. It has been such a blessing. I appreciate how very genuine you are, and how you pull out truths from Scripture and teach how we can apply these precious truths to our life. Thank you for not growing weary in well-doing! May our Lord continue to bless the fruit of your labors.

  9. Thank you Courtney for doing these studies with us. Thank you for not giving up up when things got tough. This is something I struggle with. I run away. I don’t want to run anymore. I want to learn from my mistakes and/or situations and grow closer to God and KEEP MOVING ON! I’m tired of “starting over” . I’m so thankful for this ministry. I’ve been doing this study since 2016 with my best friend. She is my rock and my sounding board. I’m so very thankful for her even though we don’t talk every day. I’m thankful God placed you Courtney in my life as well! thank you for showing me steadfast unmovable always abounding in the work of the Lord.

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