A love story: 70 years later, they've made it through war and life-threatening illnesses

Gloria Dern’s first evening with Phil Kissinger ended with a slap, and with that, their relationship faced its first challenge.

The two had been set up on a blind date by James Kiefer, who took along his own date to the movies for a double date. They watched “A Thousand and One Nights,” at The Capitol in downtown York and, afterward, chatted on a wall on North George Street in North York.

It was Gloria’s first date at 15 years old, so she was lost in the moment.

When she returned home, her father flung his hand across her face. She was late.

“When I told him we were just talking, I guess he didn’t believe me,” she said. Phil hadn’t come to her house and introduced himself to her parents. What kind of boy does that, they asked her.

Her punishment for the late date: Straight home from school every day for one year. That would mean no Phil. No movies. No long talks in the evening.

But they were teenagers.

“He snuck up several times,” she said. “It’s a good thing Daddy didn’t catch him.”

They talked on the phone, too - when she could get to one. The constable who lived down the street was the only one in her neighborhood with a phone.

Her parents told her that she would be allowed to date when she was 16 as long as he showed up at their house first.

He did, and a couple of years later, he pulled a diamond ring out of his pocket. There was no knee, no actual question, just Phil revealing the engagement ring at a sunrise Easter service at Mt. Rose Cemetery.

She wanted to marry him.

A defining moment for them

They wed at what was the Fourth EUB Church at Lehman and Market on July 9, 1949, 70 years ago.

Two years earlier, they had an awakening at a church revival service. “We were saved,” Phil said.

It would define their decades together, as Phil’s career centered around two things: God and the military.

That intersection would take them all over the world, into wars and conflict, counseling soldiers and officers, memorializing those who were killed, and working in the mission fields.

A graduate of Bob Jones University with a divinity degree, Phil served as a U.S. Army Chaplain from 1957-1990, both in the reserves and active duty, retiring as a colonel.

His time in Vietnam started off shaky. Phil was nervous because of the barrage of gunfire each day.

He paged through the Bible and into the Book of Psalms to find each passage that included fear. He prayed through those passages, “and the lord took that fear away,” he said.

He also went to Korea while Gloria and their children lived in York.

“It was hard,” Gloria said. They had four sons and communicated with Phil by sending cassette tapes of their thoughts and devotions, but she didn’t worry about her husband. “I felt that if the Lord took him, he was doing what he wanted to do.”

When Phil finally returned, Gloria went to Dulles Airport with Phil Jr., Jim, John and Dave.

John had come to know his father's face through an image of Phil in his uniform and hat. When Phil got off the plane, John started to cry because he didn't recognize him without his hat.

Ultimately, Phil served 13 of his 33 years in the U.S. Army on active duty; the other 20 were in the reserves, including time - with his family - in Germany and Hawaii. He received the Bronze Star and the Meritorious Service Medal, among many others, and several degrees, including two honorary doctorates from Bob Jones University.

In the years before and during his service, Phil led several churches, including a church he opened in Mechanicsburg: Emmanual Baptist Church. 

He loved his church work, but he returned to the military again and again. 

"I just couldn't get the burden of the military out of my heart," he said. In 1990, he and Gloria traveled to military bases all over the United States to help churches learn how to reach out to soldiers stationed near them.

When it was time to retire and slow down, they wanted to move to a place they always knew as home: York.

Their life today

Phil's life in the military came full circle a couple of years ago, when he met a former soldier at Round the Clock Diner in Springettsbury Township. The last time he had seen John Bennett, Phil had performed his memorial service. Bennett had been declared dead, put in a body bag and shipped to a morgue. 

He had awoken in the body bag, considered dead after being hit by lightning, Phil said. He wiggled out and went on with his life. He remembered that Phil had performed his service and wanted to meet him all those decades later. 

By this time, Phil and Gloria lived in a home behind Round the Clock.

As time passes, so do friends and family. Gloria had been one of 10 children in her family, and she is the lone survivor. She was closer to Phil's parents than her own. Considered the "black sheep" of the family, she was the only one who didn't smoke or drink alcohol.

Phil, now 89, has undergone seven bypasses for his heart. He has six stents and a pacemaker. Gloria, 88, isn't as mobile as she once was; she, too, has had an aortic valve replacement and two bypasses. 

Their four sons and their families live in other parts of the country, but they're in close touch with all of them. 

They're hoping to see Dave, a nurse and formerly in the Army, in Montana soon. Jim was the principal of a Christian school but retired after an incident at school required multiple surgeries to correct. John is a retired police officer and former Marine.

Their oldest son, Phil Jr., is a retired school teacher who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at the age of 30. Their parents are grateful that he handles the disease with such grace. Among their grandchildren, they have a grandson in the Green Berets and two great grandsons in the military, they said.

Their memories have faded a bit. Phil doesn't remember the details as well as Gloria.

"I don't challenge her now," he said. "If she says it happened, it must have happened."

They remember that first date, though, and the man who brought them together. They lost touch with him long ago but wonder what happened to him.

They'll celebrate their 70 years together this week at Old Country Buffet with family and friends at their side. 

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