Suicide is a growing problem in America, and one of the hardest to deal with personally and as a leader. Rusty George not only recently lost a campus pastor to suicide, he lost his friend of over twenty years.
Rusty talks in detail about the dynamics of responding to a suicide, helping people grieve, how to grieve your loss as a leader and why suicide is so difficult to handle. Plus, Rusty talks about his new book and how to leave legalism behind.
Welcome to Episode 258 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.
Guest Links
Rusty George | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Justice Mercy Humility: A Simple Path To Following Jesus
CNLP 095: The Challenges of Scaling a Church – An Interview with Rusty George
Is Suicide the “Unpardonable” Sin?
Episode Links
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3 Insights from Rusty
1. Don’t process tragedy alone
When facing tragedy, the natural reaction for any leader is to take the blame. You will feel responsible. You’ll think things like “this was on my watch”, “how did I let this happen?”, “he was my friend”, but there’s only so much blame you can take. At the end of the day, people do what they’re going to do and what they want to do. As a leader you have to quickly shift from blaming yourself to figuring out how to help those who’ve been hurt.
Don’t process grief alone. One of the biggest lesson’s Rusty’s church learned was that people can’t go around grief or get over grief. People have to go through grief and they can’t do it alone.
2. If you struggle with suicidal thoughts, tell somebody
You’re not alone in this struggle. We all have those moments. You may think that yours is at a different level, that no one knows what you feel like. There is somebody else that knows how deep your pain is. The quicker you get that secret out into the open and talk to somebody about it, the easier it will be to find healing.
As church leaders, we can get to a spot where we assume that somebody else will pick up our ministry if we take our own life. We think things will be better off without us. Rusty can tell you that is a complete lie. It is not easier without you. We need you healed and we need you here. Your family, your staff, and your community is better with you around.
If you’re grieving or contemplating suicide, there are options available to help you. Click here to find help for yourself or someone you love.
3. To kill your inner Pharisee, live in the Grace of God
Modern day Pharisees are one of the biggest reasons people walk away from God and the church. If we lose sight of how much we need God’s grace, we lose the ability to extend it to others. You begin to compare yourself to people and think you are better than them because you are better at “following the rules”. This is how you end up as a Pharisee.
One of the best ways to remove that hypocrisy is to pray that God would give you his heart for lost people. That’s a prayer God always says yes to and will help soften your heart towards the people you normally would judge. As we go through this mindset change we begin to live lives marked with true justice, mercy, and humility and end up attracting the people we would have judged back into the church.
Quotes from Episode 258
Ministry and life is a series of un-grieved losses. @cnieuwhof Click To Tweet
There’s a big difference between trusting and entrusting. -Dr. John Walker Click To Tweet
It's our secrets that make us sick. @rustylgeorge Click To Tweet
What we push down is what's going to come up and hurt us eventually. @rustylgeorge Click To Tweet
Often our justice ends where our disagreement with somebody begins. @rustylgeorge Click To Tweet
People don't do repeated behaviors that are unrewarded. @cnieuwhof Click To Tweet
Humility is not found in thinking less of ourselves, but thinking of ourselves less often. -CS Lewis Click To Tweet
Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 258
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Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.
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Next Episode: Andrew Stanley
He never even thought about doing comedy until his final year in college. Less than four years later, Andrew Stanley quit his day job and went on the road full time as a comic whose career has really taken off. Andrew shares how he learned to write jokes, what makes for a good bit and bad one, how to deliver lines to engage an audience, and what it was like growing up as Andy Stanley’s son and Charles Stanley’s grandson.
Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 259.
