Can we talk about a woman’s sex drive?
This post is sponsored by the #righttodesire campaign to bring awareness to female Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder
Over the years, I have been open about a lot of personal health topics. From my breast reduction to my *ahem* perirectal abscess surgeries, I have shared it all.
People have asked me why I shared about these things and my answer is always because we should not be shy about these topics. Our bodies and our health matter. By sharing our own journeys, we can encourage and help other women. I have had countless women tell me that sharing my health stories has impacted their own story. They have felt brave to go to the doctor for things they would have ignored or suffered with. It is humbling every time I hear from a woman.
For the next six months, I am going to be sharing about another topic that might seem private or taboo – Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder or HSDD. HSDD is a defined medical condition for women who suffer from low libido. Symptoms can include experiencing low sexual desire no matter the type of sexual activity, a persistent decrease in your overall sexual drive, problems in your relationship due to your low sex drive, or previously being satisfied with your sex drive but no longer feeling that way.
It is the most common form of sexual dysfunction in women, yet it not something widely discussed. We have kept it “in the bedroom,” so to speak, but we need to be talking about it. In so many ways our society has made female sexual dysfunction taboo or, worse, trivial. This should not be the case. When I say our bodies matter, I mean every part of us, including our sexual desire.
While HSDD is not something that I suffer from, with 1 in 10 women dealing with this condition, this is a topic we need to be talking about. Before I was approached about this campaign, I had no idea what HSDD was or its prevalence. I shared about it with a group of friends on Voxer (a voice chat app that I use) and one of the friends reached out to me privately to learn more because she was suffering and didn’t know it had a name.
Perhaps you are like her. If so, I want you to know that you are not alone.
Today, let’s talk girlfriend to girlfriend. You can comment anonymously if you wish, but are some conversation starters:
- Had you already heard of HSDD as a medical condition, or are you like me and just learning about it?
- When you think about sexual health, do you consider it as important as physical and/or mental health?
- If you do suffer from HSDD, how has it impacted you and your relationships?
To learn more about HSDD and the options available to help, as well as take a quiz to learn about your desire, visit RighttoDesire.com.
Very real problem. At 45 I have suffered for several years. The last 2 being very bad. I feel “broken” like, I quit working. However, there seems to be no fix. Very discouraging. I feel like a failure as both a wife and a woman.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. You are not a failure as a wife or a woman. I would encourage you to visit the Right to Desire site. I found it filled with encouraging and empowering information. Also, talk with your doctor, as they can help.
I am afraid this may run my relationship, I hate not having a strong sex drive, I can go weeks without anything and I absolutely hate it because I want that closeness with my man, and men generally have a high sex drive so I feel terrible like I am not being the partner I should and Canby, I would love to remedy this, but it is something I don’t even know how to bring up to my OB/GYN. I am 48 and I know that hormones are huge and feeding, can I do something about this?
It is something worth talking to your doctor about, for sure. I hope you get the guidance you need.
This post caught my attention because in my 5 years of marriage I feel like I have struggled with low desire. How can I know if this is actually something I struggle with or if it’s just a mental thing I need to work past…i.e. letting go of control, being okay to be vulnerable, etc.?
I think the quiz on righttodesire.com might be a good starting point for you. Also, have a conversation with your doctor. He or she can help.
So glad you are bringing this up! I had no idea this condition has a name. It sounds like I may have it. My husband and I argue about my (lack of) sexual desire more often than I would like to admit. What can be done to help women like me? I look forward to learning more…
It get definitely be the cause of strife in a marriage. I hope you will talk with your doctor about it. xo
So thankful for this post. Last night I prayed that I could be more intimate with my husband and asked for help figuring out why I was so reluctant to meet his needs when I don’t feel those same needs. I often thought that my decrease was due to the fact that I work full time, maintain a household, have two young children and am over the age of 40. Perhaps I also blamed him for being needy too. I will research more into this as a medical issue and continue to pray for answers. But, for now knowing that I am not alone and that there are others who care and want to share their experiences I am encouraged.
I hope that you went to RightToDesire.com and took the quiz + talk with your doctor about it. You absolutely are not alone and you can get help.