Anderson resident and Vietnam vet searches for a kidney donor

Kathy Pierre
Anderson Independent Mail

Billy Konrad is not afraid to die because he knows he'll go to heaven. The Vietnam War vet also isn’t bitter about his service. He said he would do it again in a heartbeat.

Konrad, a 70-year-old Marine Corps veteran and 11-year Anderson resident, is in desperate need of a kidney transplant because his kidneys are only running at 11 percent.

He decided against dialysis.

“I didn’t want that,” he said. “I didn’t want to be hooked up to a machine that’s going to keep me going. I’d have to go four days a week, four hours a day.”

He said he heard God tell him not to get the dialysis. He said he heard God again when he was hospitalized later, telling him, “I am not finished with you yet.”

As the Konrad meets his medical challenges daily, he finds solace in the Anderson group Vets Helping Vets, which meets every Wednesday at the Elks Lodge.

Vietnam Veteran Billy Konrad, left, with his wife Bonnie Konrad, talks about dealing with illnesses, health care, and serving in the U.S. Marine Corps, during an interview at his home in Anderson in December.

Founded in 2014 by Jesse Taylor, a combat veteran, Billy was one of 14 founding members who attended the first meeting after the Anderson VA stopped holding a PTSD support group. Before the group, Taylor never wanted to be around people, and talking with people who experienced the same thing helped him tremendously. He said it helped save his life.

Billy is no longer able to drive, deals with bodily function issues and, at one point, was on a medication that forced him to be in or near a bathroom at all times.

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Over the last three years, members of Vets Helping Vets have stepped up to help the Konrads whenever they were needed. From burying their dead dog to raking and burning their leaves. Unfortunately, the members can’t help Billy with a kidney. Not for a lack of trying, though.

Taylor, 74, said he inquired about donating but was turned down because of his age. Another member, Taylor said, went all the way to Duke to try to start the process, but doctors turned him away because his body mass index was too high.

Konrad’s wife, Bonnie, doesn’t fault the veterans group for not being able to help them in this way, she said when she spoke to the group to try to get a donor, she was just hoping someone would know someone who could help.

“I said to them, ‘I know in saying what I’m saying, that first of all, you’re all kind of old or you’re sick, broken somewhere. And I know that you cannot help me, but maybe there’s somebody you might mention it to, and they may say, you know, I would love to do that. I would love to give someone that gift.’”

Taylor remembers Billy back when he was almost 60 pounds heavier than he is now and rode a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, but he said, “Billy’s got a strong will to live and is prepared for whatever happens.”

“It makes me sad to know that I could lose my friend. I try to give him encouragement that things are going to work out.”

In 2015, Konrad said his health became critical and he was given three months to live after going into renal failure. As he recovered, doctors told him he would need a liver and kidney transplant, but he said the hospitals he went to would not do both, so he got the liver first. He has been searching for a donor ever since.

Bonnie, 63, is Billy’s primary caregiver and advocate as Billy faces a stream of doctor’s appointments and traveling. Bonnie does everything for Billy from driving him to regular appointments at Duke University Hospital to figuring out the schedule for the 16 different medications he needs to take every day to sometimes reiterating what the doctors are saying into words Billy can understand.

In addition to the kidney problems and post-traumatic stress disorder, he also has diabetes and what he describes as the early onset of Parkinson’s Disease.

Konrad and his wife, Bonnie, speak openly about death now. They talk about getting his name on the list for the VA cemetery, they’re working on downsizing their belongings and setting all their bills to autopay so the burden won’t be so heavy on Bonnie once he's gone.

After all, they were told during Billy’s last hospitalization that the best-case scenario would be for Billy’s potassium to rise to fatal levels, causing a heart attack that would allow him to die quickly and quietly.

Their sense of humor has gotten a bit dark now, too.

“We laughed the other day while we were at the store,” Bonnie said. “He said, ‘I might as well stay out of the men’s clothes department. Why buy another shirt when I’m not going to be wearing it?’ That’s where we are.”

Now the couple is focusing on finding a donor, but also making the time they have left as fun as they can.

“We were at dinner, and [Billy] looked at me, and he says, ‘From now on, when we go out, let’s just act like we’re dating again, just to make it fun. Let’s make everything fun,’” Bonnie said.