Rachael Denhollander: 'It took all of our voices to get here'

LANSING - Rachael Denhollander sat halfway back in the gallery of a courtroom in downtown Lansing on Friday, near the end of a long week, her eyes focused on the woman giving the 89th victim impact statement, describing the abuse and trauma caused by Larry Nassar.

Denhollander was as focused on the words Larissa Boyce spoke as she was on those spoken by Kyle Stephens, the first woman to give an impact statement four days earlier.

Denhollander has been in the courtroom for every word spoken by each woman and girl.

"They’re the ones I was fighting for," she said after court ended Friday. "They’re the ones I was waiting to be able to protect. And their voices matter. Their stories matter. And I want to be here for them."

This morning, the sentencing hearing for Nassar, once expected to take four days, enters its fifth day and likely will extend to a sixth on Tuesday. By the time Judge Rosemarie Aquilina announces Nassar's sentence, at least 120 women and girls will have spoken, a figure that started at 88 in the days leading up to the hearing's start. 

More than 16 months ago, Denhollander reported Nassar to the Michigan State University Police Department and shared her story of abuse with the Indianapolis Star. 

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Those events prompted a handful of women and girls to report abuse to police. Their number swelled to dozens, then more than 80 and now at least 125.

For months, Denhollander, who lives in Kentucky with her husband and children, had been the public face and voice of those Nassar abused. The first Indy Star story carried the stories of two women, one who asked not identified and Denhollander, who agreed to publication of her name and photo. Olympic medalist Jamie Dantzscher was the unnamed woman included in that story; she later publicly identified herself and spoke during Nassar's sentencing last week.

As the investigations progressed, Denhollander gave countless interviews with local, state and national media outlets. Poised and articulate, her determination clearly inspired some of those who joined her by coming forward. 

That was evident in court last week, as several women and girls thanked Denhollander during their statements, including Samantha Ursch, who spoke on Friday.

"I am so grateful of the bravery of Rachael Denhollander," she said.

Kassie Powell spoke on Friday as well, describing the abuse and trauma she suffered. 

"I now struggle believing my voice means anything or holds any weight to anyone. I feel unheard and at most times helpless," she said.

"When Rachael came forward," Powell said, turning to the gallery where Denhollander sat and saying, "Thank you, by the way," then returning her focus to Nassar and the judge, "I initially did not want to believe it. Again, because I did not want to accept that this is part of my story."

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Later, Powell spoke of the other women and girls who reported Nassar to police and who have taken turns speaking in the courtroom, nearly all choosing to do so while being publicly identified. As last week progressed, the women and girls began to refer to themselves as an "army" of survivors. Their numbers grew each day. 

"To every girl involved here," Powell said, "thank you for your bravery, for your vulnerability and for your strength when you felt anything but strong."

Denhollander said she's grateful for the women and girls who have thanked her. 

"This is about them," she said. "I came forward for them. I honestly didn’t feel like I needed a guilty verdict for me. I’d gotten to the point where I could hold on to what was true, irrespective of what Nassar said and what Nassar did."

Nassar sexually assaulted Denhollander at his MSU office during several medical appointments in 2000, when she was 15 years old. It took her years to reconcile what happened to her, and in 2016 she reported him to police and Michigan State University. She's one of the nine women and girls connected to the 10 sexual assault charges to which Nassar pleaded guilty.

Sitting in court and listening to the statements has been incredible for her, she said Friday, but quickly added it didn't need to get to this point. 

"The sobering reality of how many of them should not be here is just overwhelming to me," Denhollander said. "The part that weighed on me the most was feeling powerless to stop him for 15 years, knowing that there were little girls walking in his door and there was nothing I could do. 

"And then to find out that I had been right, that people had been raising their voices for years before I even walked in his door and been silenced. And to see all of the damage that came after those first reports of sexual assault that did not have to be here, it is horrific."

As the Lansing State Journal reported last year, between 1997 and 2015 at least seven women or girls say they raised concerns about Nassar's actions to coaches, trainers, police or university officials. He was investigated twice by police but never charged, and once in an internal MSU inquiry that cleared him.

Denhollander will have her chance to speak later this week. She said she has a lot to say and has revised her statement over and over.

Sitting in the courtroom after Friday's hearing, Denhollander said she didn't know what to expect when she came forward 16 months ago.

"The number of victims does not surprise me at all," she said. "The big question mark was whether any of them would feel safe enough to speak up.

"And I really did not know what to anticipate. I am just incredibly grateful for every single one of them, because it took all of our voices to get here." 

Contact Matt Mencarini at (517) 267-1347 or mmencarini@lsj.com. Follow him on Twitter @MattMencarini.