Evolutionary Men

Shadow Work to Save Your Relationship

Evolutionary Men — Tue, 15 Sep 2026 14:21:17 +0000

In this episode I'm again joined by Dr. Luke Adler, this time to to talk about shadow work as a way to save your relationship. We get into the nice guy pattern of going along to get along, why controlling your partner's reactions is really about avoiding your own feelings, and how a relationship without real presence slides into a predator and prey dynamic. We talk about the implicit agreements quietly running your relationship and what it actually takes to break them.

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Why You’re Stuck as a Man

Evolutionary Men — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 14:47:45 +0000

In this episode I break down why so many men feel stuck. It comes down to two energetic moves I watch men make over and over, moves that burn enormous energy and produce no movement, so from the inside it feels like nothing is happening. I share where they come from, what they cost you in your body and your relationships, and the one thing I've seen actually get men unstuck. Then I leave you with two quick questions to find where you're doing both of these things.

Join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat

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What’s the Emotional Age of Your Anger? (with Alistair Moes)

Evolutionary Men — Tue, 25 Aug 2026 20:39:53 +0000

In this episode I invite Alistair Moes, who has operated his own anger management practice for over 31 years and has worked with more than 15,000 men and women, to discuss what truly occurs in the body when anger takes over, why many of us either explode or shut down and label it handling things, and what it means to meet conflict from the adult inside you rather than the wounded kid. We explore the family patterns that shaped each of our approaches to anger, and the practice that reveals which one is actually in control at any given moment.

Moose Anger Management

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Shadow Work for Inspiration

Evolutionary Men — Fri, 21 Aug 2026 14:50:22 +0000

In this episode I invite Dr. Luke Adler to discuss what shadow work is really for. We explore why the deepest pain in a group of men often sits right beside laughter and gratitude, the "kink in the hose" model described in The Heart of Shadow that shows where life force becomes stuck, and why men struggle to celebrate what is going right or to accept a compliment without deflecting it.

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The Power in the Truth You’re Not Telling (with Shana James)

Evolutionary Men — Wed, 19 Aug 2026 19:50:45 +0000

In this episode I invite relationship and dating coach Shana James, author of Honest Sex and The Honest Dating Guide, to discuss why many men see honesty as a loss of power. We explore nice guy conditioning, the scarcity that pushes us to posture rather than speak the truth, the distinction between attachment and desire, and what really occurs in the body when vulnerability feels dangerous instead of intimate.

Honest Dating Guide + Companion Course Honest Sex Book Shana's Website Man Alive

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Daddy Has Tantrums Too

Evolutionary Men — Fri, 14 Aug 2026 16:57:30 +0000

In this episode I break down the moment I lost it with my daughter over a coloring page, the sharp voice, the walk to the car when I realized what I'd just done to her. I get into Dan Siegel's hand model of the brain, why your kid feels your nervous system more than your words, and where you're supposed to put that charge when your family isn't the place to dump it.

Join us Monday August 24th for Rage & Anger: How to Wisely Channel Your Power as a Man Build your space to bring your tantrums in The Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat

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Shadow Work for Regaining Your Power

Evolutionary Men — Tue, 11 Aug 2026 17:15:51 +0000

In this episode I'm joined by Dr. Luke Adler to talk about shadow work for regaining your power, especially for nice guys who've gone allergic to their own force and desire. We get into the difference between power over and power under, why so many men carry a clog in their body around their center, and how father wounds shape our relationship to anger and protection.

Join us in reclaiming your power in The Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat

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She Feels Your Tension Before She Feels Your Hands

Evolutionary Men — Fri, 07 Aug 2026 18:05:42 +0000

In this episode I get into touch, why it lands or falls flat with a woman, and what her body is already reading in you before your hands ever move. I break down the physiology behind it, your breath, your nervous system, and the different kinds of tension that decide whether she melts into you or just tolerates you. I also get into my own history with touch, which wasn't pretty, and the frame I now use with the men I coach around all of this.

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Why You Feel Like You’re Not Driving Your Own Life

Evolutionary Men — Thu, 30 Jul 2026 11:00:00 +0000

In this episode I break down what's happening when life looks fine on paper but you feel like you're not the one driving it. Losing direction is nearly inevitable once the track (school, career, mortgage, kids) runs out, and you can't think your way back. I walk through the two compasses I've watched work in hundreds of men's lives, the practice men have used to read them for thousands of years, and the one place none of us wants to look.

Get moving:

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Why Would She WANT to Have Sex With You?

Evolutionary Men — Thu, 23 Jul 2026 15:24:57 +0000

In this episode I get into the question most men never ask, why would she want to have sex with you? I break down Rosemary Basson's research on responsive desire, why her wanting often arrives through connection instead of before it, and what it actually takes to be a man she can open toward. I talk about tending your own nervous system, learning her warm up sequence, feeding the connection all week, and the real difference between reaching for her from tension release versus reaching for her by name.

On air I taught the first half of a bigger map. The full teaching, both axes, all four engines, her side of the grid, and the three ways reaching for her goes wrong, is written up here: The Two Engines of Desire.

What to expand your capacity as a lover? Learn from touch coach Elizabeth Anneka about the power of breath for good sex by signing up for How to Touch Women: It Starts with Your Breath Workshop on Monday, August 10th at 5:30pm Pacific. $97.

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