“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; ’tis dearness only that gives everything its value” (Thomas Paine).

CONFLICT AND STRUGGLE AREN’T PLEASANT, BUT IF WE THINK ABOUT THEM IN THE RIGHT WAY, THEY ARE PROFITABLE. Some of the best things in life come to us while we’re fighting to overcome difficulties. And yet, as we’ve suggested, these things don’t come our way automatically; they do so only if we think about our struggles in a certain way. It’s critical that we adopt a militant attitude toward our obstructions: the attitude of the “overcomer.”

There is something we need to be careful about, however. In firing ourselves up to go out and fight “the enemy,” we must not make the mistake of thinking that “the enemy” is other people. While it’s true that the actions of others can make life more difficult, it would not be the most productive use of our time to fight against them personally, as if they were to blame for our problems. When the time comes to fight, there’s much more to be gained by fighting against difficulty in general, rather than attacking people personally. We can be tough on problems and still be gentle with people.

But there are certainly problems to be dealt with, and we need to deal with them actively and forthrightly. We sometimes avoid difficulty as if we thought that ease and pleasure were the main objects in life. But these two things are not the highest human values, and there are times when we need to sacrifice them for more worthy goals. It is, in fact, through difficulty (rather than ease) and pain (rather than pleasure) that we find our character and make our contribution.

So we need to stiffen our attitude and face our challenges, whatever they may be, with the heart of someone determined to overcome. Whether we do this or not is a matter of choice. Yes, we’ll lose some skirmishes in the short run, but we can choose to fight with an unconquerable spirit. And if we act with honor, doing with “true grit” the very best that we know to do, then our heads need never be bowed in shame. In this life, difficulty is inevitable, but destruction is not.

“He said not, ‘Thou shalt not be tempested, thou shalt not be travailed, thou shalt not be afflicted,’ but he said, ‘Thou shalt not be overcome'” (Julian of Norwich).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Everything can be improved” (C. W. Barron).

WE LIVE IN A WORLD OF POSSIBILITIES. Indeed, there are few things we deal with that can’t be taken and improved in some way. Physical things are often raw materials that can be turned into finished products. But other less-tangible things can also be improved: problems can be solved, challenges can be met, potentials can be fulfilled, and goals can be striven for. Nearly every situation we meet presents us with an opportunity to improve something or other.

But what if it were otherwise? Have you considered what your life would be like if nothing could be improved at all? Johann Fichte said it well: “Humanity may endure the loss of everything; all its possessions may be turned away without infringing its true dignity — all but the possibility of improvement.” It’s true, there can hardly be a worse experience for any of us than the experience of despair. To lose the hope that there is anything we can do that will make anything any better, is to be about as close to death as we can be without dying.

I believe that our desire for improvement, and even our inclination to improvement, is not a coincidence. I agree with Andrew Carnegie, who said, “We know that man was created, not with an instinct for his own degradation, but imbued with the desire and the power for improvement.” We are “hard-wired” to want to be better ourselves — and to want to make the things around us better too.

But if our desire for improvement is instinctive, acting on that desire is not automatic. It takes tremendous energy to overcome inertia and act in the direction of improvement, and this energy must be exerted by our will. If we simply live by default, doing no more than what is easy, then dilapidation and chaos are bound to be the results.

So from one standpoint, improvement is optional — a choice must be made. But from another standpoint, improvement is not optional at all. Whatever alternative to improvement there may be, it is not a safe alternative. Our only option is the option between life and death. In our lazier moments, we might wish there were some third way, but really, there is no safe middle ground. Failure to improve is a failure to grow — and a failure to grow is a dire problem indeed.

“He who stops being better stops being good” (Oliver Cromwell).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

Hast thou entered into the springs of the sea?
Or hast thou walked in search of the depth?
(The Book of Job)

THERE ARE DEPTHS OF UNDERSTANDING THAT FEW OF US HAVE FATHOMED — AND EVEN SOME THAT NONE OF US HAVE FATHOMED. It’s a much bigger world than any of us have yet comprehended, and even in our own little personal worlds, there are many things we’ve not yet explored or been able to explain. We need to be impressed with how much there is to learn out there. How can we fail to be inquisitive? How can we be content with what little understanding we’ve been able to gain in the past?

We should strive to be people who have some depth to us. Few of us would feel flattered if someone called us shallow or superficial, and yet that’s what many of us are. We don’t stand in awe of the mystery of life, and we’re content to be uninformed and unacquainted with the amazing intricacy of the world. What little knowledge we have is often no more than the bits and pieces we’ve stumbled across accidentally. We could do with a bit more depth, couldn’t we?

But there is a danger in depth, and that danger is pride. No sooner have we gained a smidgen of depth, than others notice us becoming smug toward the less experienced. Ever so subtly, we adopt the swagger of the sophomore, the “wise fool.” We’re hardly past the beginner’s stage ourselves, but already we feel superior to those who haven’t been where we’ve been and done what we’ve done. The antidote to pride, of course, is the recognition that compared to the distance between us and God, the distance between any two of us is so small that human pride is simply ludicrous.

Yet if we’ve learned the lessons of humility, can we not see depth as a gift that we can give? Today, wouldn’t others, especially our loved ones, appreciate it if we understood a thing or two that we didn’t understand yesterday? But make no mistake: a healthy measure of depth doesn’t usually come to the lazy or the negligent. In this world, it takes work to end up being anything more than deeply superficial.

“It is easier to perceive error than truth, for error lies on the surface and is easily seen, but truth lies in the depth where few are willing to search for it” (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity” (First Letter of Paul to the Corinthians).

OVER THE PAST FOUR HUNDRED YEARS, THE WORD “CHARITY” HAS CHANGED ITS MEANING. In the days of Elizabethan English, when Shakespeare was writing and the King James Version of the Bible was being made, charity meant love. In fact, it meant the very highest kind of love, the kind that loves unselfishly, without regard for return or repayment. But to most people today, charity only means “giving money to a worthy cause.” So let’s see if we can’t resurrect, and learn from, the full meaning of charity in the older sense.

Almsgiving. Giving to the poor and the otherwise needy is certainly involved in charity, and heaven knows we need more of it. But while we need more of this kind of charity, we also need more people who’ll engage in it simply for the good it will do. As Dan Bennett said, “Real charity doesn’t care if it’s tax-deductible or not.”

Forbearance. There is an English proverb that says, “He that has no charity deserves no mercy.” Charity as mercy or forbearance is a part of the older meaning of the word, and it would be good for us to recapture a little of that old spirit. When those around us make mistakes, we need to learn to treat their failings “charitably.”

Love. Here is the heart of charity, even in the two areas above. It is love that prompts us to engage in acts of charity, whatever their nature may be. And I suggest that the word “charity” is still a quite beautiful word to describe the highest, most selfless kind of love.

Charity can be thought of as the glue that holds many other important things in life together. Qualities like wisdom, strength, and courage can easily get out of hand, and even do damage, if they’re not enlivened, warmed, and motivated by charity. When we want to do the charitable thing in a particular situation, it may sometimes tax our judgment to ascertain what course of action we should take, but the impulse to act charitably is always honorable. If we were moved by it more often, the world would surely turn into a better place.

“In necessary things, unity; in doubtful things, liberty; in all things, charity” (Richard Baxter).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Reason may be a small force, but it is constant, and works always in one direction, while the forces of unreason destroy one another in futile strife” (Bertrand Russell).

THESE DAYS, HUMAN REASON DOESN’T GET THE CREDIT THAT IT PROPERLY DESERVES. Reason may be, as Russell suggested, a “small force,” but it is an immensely valuable force. The fact is, we won’t get very far in life without it, and we ought to devote more of our energy to the training and exercise of our reason.

It is good that in recent years we’ve paid more attention to the other parts of our minds, such as our emotions. After all, life is more than just a problem in logic. But as we seek to keep reason in balance, let’s not make the mistake of scorning it or despising it altogether. Cut off from our other faculties, reason can be a dangerous thing, no doubt, but the same caution is in order concerning our feelings and intuition. “Reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction” (Kahlil Gibran).

One mistake we make is using our reason to figure things out when we haven’t first done our homework. Reason has to have accurate information to work with, and the more information it has, the better it can work. So I agree with Alexis Carrel’s comment: “A few observations and much reasoning leads to error; many observations and a little reasoning to truth.” Reason can be very helpful when it comes to seeing the relationship between things and drawing helpful conclusions, but it is no substitute for the hard work of fact-finding.

Adlai Stevenson said, “In quiet places, reason abounds.” Most of us today lead lives that are both busy and noisy. For reason to be of much use to us, we need to turn down the “volume” of daily life to the point where the voice of reason can be heard and meditated upon.

Especially in times of conflict and controversy, we need, as G. K. Chesterton once said, to strengthen our arguments rather than raise our voices. Shouting and name-calling can’t take the place of clear thinking. So today, let’s do better by thinking better. Reason is only one of our tools, but we’re foolish if we don’t use it where it’s needed.

“Violence in the voice is often only the death rattle of reason in the throat” (John F. Boyes).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“The age of chivalry has gone. That of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded, and the glory of Europe is extinguished forever” (Edmund Burke).

HAS THE “AGE OF CHIVALRY” GONE OR NOT? The answer may largely depend upon a person’s perspective, or at least that person’s definition of chivalry, but it is undeniably true that the emphasis has switched from the knight-like How can I serve the greater good? to the consumer-like What’s in it for me? And even at the level of plain and simple mannerliness, something has been lost that we may regret losing.

Chivalry has to do with the medieval institution of knighthood. It refers to the principles and customs associated with that institution. Whether medieval knights did, in fact, idealize such qualities as bravery, courtesy, honor, and service makes little difference, practically speaking. Chivalry simply envisions a realm where these things were important — and it says they ought to be important to us still.

Concepts like chivalry are, of course, touchy topics nowadays. If “chivalrous” means “characterized by consideration and courtesy, especially toward women” (American Heritage Dictionary), many modern women would resent the very idea as demeaning. But one does not have to hold a demeaning view of women to believe that at least a few of the old-fashioned courtesies ought to be preserved. The knight may no longer need to lay his cape over the mud so the lady can walk across, but most men could do with a little more “knightliness” in their behavior, not only toward women but toward other men as well. There is, I believe, a larger sense in which all of us ought to be chivalrous, whether we’re male or female, young or old. And yes, I confess to hoping there’ll always be a few women left who appreciate being treated like ladies by the gentlemen with whom they have dealings.

The gist of chivalry is the spirit that the medieval knight was (at least in our imagination) moved by this: a willingness to serve the cause of right and render help to anyone who needed it. It doesn’t demean anyone to be served. And there’s no better service than the service of honor.

“Some say that the age of chivalry is past, that the spirit of romance is dead. The age of chivalry is never past, so long as there is a wrong left unredressed on earth, or a man or woman left to say, I will redress that wrong, or spend my life in the attempt” (Charles Kingsley).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“It is part of the kindness of God that amid all the change there are things we can always count on. The unfailing regularity of the seasons and the reliability of nature; the glory of the stars, the innocence of the morning; the healing power of time and the sustaining power of hope; the heart’s yearning for love and the soul’s hunger for prayer; the endless quest for truth and the stubborn struggle for justice; the restless urge to create and the valiant will to overcome — these are some of the things we can count on. These are the things that hold in a slippery world” (Sidney Greenberg).

THAT WHICH IS INNOCENT IS FRESH AND UNTAINTED. It is unspoiled, not having been contaminated by evil or error or unworthiness. We ought to appreciate the things around us that come to us with such freshness, such as “the innocence of the morning.” And we ought to hang on to as much of our own innocence as we can.

To be innocent, we don’t have to be naive or gullible. As William Blake wrote, “Innocence dwells with wisdom, but never with ignorance.” The evidence suggests that Jesus of Nazareth was the most innocent adult who ever lived, but the evidence also suggests that he was nobody’s fool. So, contrary to the popular misconception, innocence and simple-mindedness are not the same thing. Consider three of the definitions of innocence in the American Heritage Dictionary.

(1) Uncorrupted by evil, malice, or wrongdoing. In this sense, innocence suggests purity. And frankly, in a world that is sadly degraded, one of our main challenges is to remain as unaffected as possible.

(2) Not guilty of a specific crime; legally blameless. When a person is innocent in this sense, it means that he stands before the law as one whose cause is just. In a dispute, to be innocent is to be “in the right.”

(3) Betraying or suggesting no deception or guile. Artlessness is the idea here. An innocent smile, for example, is one that is spontaneous. In these days of “technique,” this kind of innocence is refreshing.

Aren’t all three of these concepts worthy of admiration? Without a doubt, these kinds of innocence are more often found in children than in adults. But wouldn’t it improve our adult lives if we retained some of our childhood innocence as long as we live, rather than giving it all up in adolescence? In at least the three senses above, the more innocent we can keep ourselves, the better off we’ll be.

“The great man is he who does not lose his child’s heart” (Mencius).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“There is no greater loan than a sympathetic ear” (Frank Tyger).

IF “EMPATHY” MEANS UNDERSTANDING SOMEONE ELSE, THEN “SYMPATHY” MEANS FEELING WHAT THEY FEEL. It is “a fellow-feeling” (Robert Burton). Or in the words of Charles H. Parkhurst’s familiar definition: “Sympathy is two hearts tugging at one load.” To sympathize is to open our hearts to another person’s feelings. And mark it well: sympathy is not limited to times of grief or emotional pain. “Anyone can sympathize with another’s sorrow, but to sympathize with another’s joy is the attribute of an angel” (Arthur Schopenhauer).

Hardly anything is more beautiful or valuable than sympathy. Emerson was right when he said, “Sympathy is a supporting atmosphere, and in it we unfold easily and well.” And if we appreciate the freedom that comes from being surrounded by sympathetic people, shouldn’t we give that gift more often to those who need our support?

At least two cautions are in order. (1) None of us can ever feel exactly what another person is feeling, and we ought not to pretend that we do. The best that we can do is feel what they’re feeling as nearly as possible. (2) We ought not to be condescending when we sympathize. Especially when someone else has suffered a loss that we think we’ve protected ourselves against, it’s hard not to feel (secretly) a little superior to the person whom we pity, as if they “had it coming.” But we ought to guard against that kind of counterfeit sympathy.

True sympathy costs more than many of us realize. It often requires more time and effort than can be conveniently given. Indeed, it requires more than the giving of anything that we might “have” or “possess.” We can’t sympathize by skimming off a little of our excess emotion or affluence, giving that which we can easily afford to give — without any sacrifice. No, sympathy means that we invest a significant portion of ourselves in someone else’s situation, whether that situation involves grief or gladness. It says, “Whatever you’re feeling, I’m willing to feel your feelings with you. And more than that, I’m willing to put my heart at your service. I will do whatever will encourage you.”

“Pity may represent little more than the impersonal concern which prompts the mailing of a check, but true sympathy is the personal concern which demands the giving of one’s soul” (Martin Luther King Jr.).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“It is profound philosophy to sound the depths of feeling and distinguish traits of character. Men must be studied as deeply as books” (Baltasar Gracián).

OF ALL THE SUBJECTS WE MIGHT STUDY, PEOPLE ARE THE MOST PROFOUND. By far the most fascinating phenomenon around us, at least within the terrestrial sphere, people really do have to be studied in order to be known. It’s not easy. It takes both time and hard work to understand the other human beings with whom we cross paths. But the effort is well worth making, as anybody knows who has ever had the pleasure of understanding even one other person.

“Empathy” is a word that describes the knowledge of other people that we ought to strive for. While often used interchangeably with “sympathy” (which we’ll discuss tomorrow), “empathy” is an important word in its own right. It’s a character quality made up of two separate elements, both of which we need to work on.

Understanding. This is the first, and most obvious, component of empathy. When we empathize with another person, that means we listen to them and learn from them in a genuine effort to understand their situation. And this kind of learning requires more than a proficiency in theoretical psychology. As Mark Twain said, “One learns people through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.”

Identification. Understanding another person’s situation does not, by itself, constitute empathy. To have empathy, we must also identify with the other person. In other words, we must be willing to stand with them, as if the situation were as much ours as it is theirs.

That we have so little empathy ought to be the cause of great concern. It ought to disturb us that we don’t know those around us any better than we do. Unfortunately, however, we spend most of our time worrying whether others understand us or not. This is a misplaced priority. Almost always, “whether we understand” should be dealt with before we turn our attention to “whether we’re being understood.” In the matter of understanding and empathy, there really is a sense in which it is more blessed to give than to receive.

“That others do not know you is no cause for grief; grieve that you do not know them” (Confucius).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“The office of the scholar is to cheer, to raise, and to guide men by showing them facts amid appearances” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

SCHOLARSHIP, FRANKLY, IS NOT SOMETHING MOST PEOPLE ASPIRE TO. The very word conjures up an image of the pedant, obsessed with heaping together scraps of abstract learning, totally out of touch with the real world. But what most people object to is a caricature, if not an outright counterfeit, of real scholarship. As Emerson suggests, scholarship is something that can be seen in a positive light, and there is a sense in which all of us need to be interested in some of the same things the scholar is interested in.

Perhaps scholarship has a bad name because so many scholars are content simply to know what they know. Genuine scholarship, however, is about doing as well as knowing. “A scholar without practice,” wrote Saadi, “is a tree without fruit.” No scholar worth his salt will fail to do the duties that grow out of knowing the things he has learned.

In a healthy sense, all of us need to take a more scholarly approach to life. That is, we need to have a healthy, eager respect for what others before us have learned. We need to acquire good study habits and increase in our ability to gather and arrange information and knowledge. And we need to be people who do a little research now and then, adding to the body of human knowledge by figuring out a thing or two that maybe no one else has been aware of.

Yet scholarship is not just the collection and analysis of information; it’s the understanding and application of that information. We’re not just looking for data; we’re looking for meaning. The question is not just What’s the sum total of human knowledge about this subject? but What’s the significance of what we know? and How can what we know make us better people? Ultimately then, scholarship has to do with character, both that of the scholar and those with whom he shares his findings. Learning is about doing, and doing is about doing better as each day goes by. In the words of Emerson quoted above, the work of the scholar is “to cheer, to raise, and to guide.” Isn’t that something that all of us would do well at least to dabble in from time to time?

“True scholarship consists in knowing not what things exist, but what they mean; it is not memory but judgment” (James Russell Lowell).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com