“‘Where there is a will, there is a way,’ says the proverb. That is not entirely true; but it is true that where there is no will, there is no way” (Thomas S. Szasz).

WITHOUT A SUFFICIENTLY STURDY WILL, WE CAN’T BE EFFECTIVE IN ANY WORTHWHILE ENDEAVOR. If our intellect and our emotions are the “legislative” parts of our minds, then our will is the “executive” part. It executes our decisions. It carries out the dictates of our conscience. It even brings into being the creations of our imagination. And if, for some reason, our will is lazy or not strong enough to do these things, then all the finest thinking, discerning, and desiring that we might do would amount to very little in the end.

We often speak of our will as being “free,” and there are some important senses in which that is true. In a strict sense, however, our will is not absolutely free. It is always attached to an object or purpose that is determined by the other parts of our minds. As Joyce Cary put it, our will “is simply the engine in the car — it can’t drive.” Or to go back to our government analogy, the will doesn’t make the laws; it just carries out the instructions that have been given to it. It should be obvious, then, that we need to be careful what instructions we give to our wills. If our thinking is carefully maintained, then our wills can serve us well. Otherwise, great damage is likely to be done.

Most of us know that the will doesn’t always come through for us. Yes, it can be very strong when the choice is “what I want vs. what you want,” but it can be amazingly weak when the choice is “what I ought to do vs. what I want to do.” When my alarm goes off at five in the morning, and it’s time to get up and write, I wonder where the strong will is that showed up so quickly when I “discussed” matters with the idiot who cut ahead of me in the line at Starbucks.

The fact is, if we don’t deliberately train our wills, they won’t be helpful. If undisciplined, our wills will be too strong in some areas and too weak in others. So training and conditioning our wills to help us is one of the most important parts of becoming mature, and Anatole France was certainly right when he wrote, “An education that does not cultivate the will is an education that depraves the mind.”

“The will to do, the soul to dare” (Sir Walter Scott).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Fantasy is a natural human activity. It certainly does not destroy or even insult Reason; and it does not either blunt the appetite for, nor obscure the perception of, scientific verity. On the contrary. The keener and the clearer is the reason, the better fantasy will it make. If men were ever in a state in which they did not want to know or could not perceive truth (facts or evidence), then Fantasy would languish until they were cured” (J. R. R. Tolkien).

IT IS TOO BAD THAT “FANTASY” IS SO OFTEN USED AS A DEROGATORY TERM. As a category of literature, it is looked down upon and considered unworthy of the effort of any truly gifted writer. And as an intellectual activity, it is almost laughed at, as if those who enjoy fantasy (whether of someone else’s making or their own) are somehow suffering from a case of arrested development. Yet fantasy is not only a legitimate intellectual and artistic endeavor, the ability to enjoy it is one of the most delightful of our human endowments. It’s one of the channels through which joy comes to us: joy in the high, pure, otherworldly sense. Those who’ve never had their hearts pierced by the sharp, sweet joy of the “perilous realm,” have missed one of life’s most ennobling pleasures, and one of its most refreshing experiences.

Eudora Welty made a helpful observation about fantasy when she said, “Fantasy is no good unless the seed it springs from is a truth, a truth about human beings.” Those who say they prefer stories that are “true,” need to understand that the power of fantasy comes from nothing less than its truth. For all its strangeness and wonder, the genuinely fantastic rings true — exactly true — to what we know is in our hearts, both the good and the bad. But it does not stop at the truth of what is; it beckons us to believe in the bright truths of what can be. It suggests that what we experience in the mundane world is not all that will ever be, and it’s not all there is to reality even now!

Of the many gifts that have been given to us, fantasy is one of the greatest. That it’s not always used well or wisely is obvious, but that is no more than can be said about any of our powers. Rather than relegate fantasy to the nursery, we would do better to honor it as adults and school ourselves in the wisdom of its joy. Like education, fantasy is much too good to limit to the young.

“I now enjoy the fairy tales better than I did in childhood: being now able to put more in, of course, I get more out” (C. S. Lewis).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Extreme independence is as destructive to a relationship as total dependence” (James C. Dobson).

INTERDEPENDENCE IS A HIGHER VALUE THAN INDEPENDENCE. If we can’t see that, perhaps we’ve been confused more than we realize by the various misconceptions of independence that are so much in vogue today. Yet misguided independence can hurt us every bit as much as the unhealthy dependence which we’re so eager to avoid.

Interdependence is a cooperative relationship in which individuals yield some of their independence to others in a relationship for the purpose of achieving a mutual goal or realizing a shared vision. It involves trust, commitments, and collaboration, and it’s based on the understanding that the great challenges of life call for a bit of “together” work now and then. Interdependence produces what has been called “synergy,” an effect produced by the joint action of two or more people which each would be incapable of producing individually. One person brings to the work certain qualities or abilities, others are supplied by another person, etc. — and in the end, a result is reached that marvelously multiplies what any of the parties could have created alone. So interdependence goes beyond independence. To the courage of independence, interdependence adds humility — the humility to recognize when we can do more together than we can do separately.

Interdependence, as many have noted, is a choice that only independent people can make. It requires a strength of character not possessed by those who are still bogged down in blaming and evasion of responsibility. So if we’ve outgrown dependence and come to see the value of independence, that’s good. But it’s even better if we’ve come to appreciate the synergistic power of interdependence. Indeed, one of the major measures of our personal maturity is the extent to which we’ve learned to live and work interdependently. If we’re not there yet, we should at least make sure that we’re growing in that direction!

“On the maturity continuum, dependence is the paradigm of you — you take care of me; you come through for me; you didn’t come through; I blame you for the results . . . Independence is the paradigm of I — I can do it; I am responsible; I am self-reliant; I can choose . . . Interdependence is the paradigm of we — we can do it; we can cooperate; we can combine our talents and abilities and create something greater together” (Stephen R. Covey).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Nothing is more desirable than to be released from an affliction, but nothing is more frightening than to be divested of a crutch” (James Baldwin).

INDEPENDENCE, PROPERLY DEFINED, IS A STATE WORTH STRIVING FOR, BUT FRANKLY, IT REQUIRES MORE COURAGE AND INTEGRITY THAN WE MIGHT NOW POSSESS. Desiring “to be released from an affliction” is easy, as Baldwin suggests, but “nothing is more frightening than to be divested of a crutch.” Independence involves not only an enjoyable freedom but also a sobering responsibility.

One popular misconception of independence is that it means complete self-sufficiency, without the need to depend on anyone else for anything at all. But if that’s what independence is, then none of us will ever experience it. In the real world, nobody is self-sufficient, and we need to have the humility to confess that fact. If we can’t see how often in the past we’ve had to be helped by other people, we’re either blindly arrogant or arrogantly blind. Like it or not, we all have needs that can’t be supplied by the unassisted work of our own hands.

Another misconception is that independence means absolute autonomy or self-rule. But again, in the real world this kind of independence is impossible. If we’re looking for a life in which we don’t have to be subordinate to the authority of any other person in any role or relationship whatsoever, we’ll probably be looking for a long time. In the many different relationships in which we find ourselves participating, sometimes we have to lead and sometimes we have to follow. Truly independent people have the ability to follow as well as to lead.

Independence simply means taking personal responsibility for our own lives. As we grow beyond dependence, we quit expecting others to hand us happiness on a silver platter, and we begin paying more attention to our character than to our outward circumstances. This kind of independence is a huge step in the right direction for us. And yet, as desirable as independence is, and as preferable as it is to unhealthy dependence, independence is not the summum bonum of life. Tomorrow, we’ll talk about an even higher goal.

“True independence of character empowers us to act rather than be acted upon. It frees us from our dependence on circumstances and other people and is a worthy, liberating goal. But it is not the ultimate goal in effective living” (Stephen R. Covey).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees” (William Blake).

THERE ARE FEW OF US WHO WOULDN’T BE HELPED BY AN IMPROVEMENT IN OUR VISION, OUR ABILITY TO SEE. Too often, we see (i.e., experience) things without learning anything. We see them, but their importance escapes us. We notice them, but their wonder is wasted on us. There may be nothing wrong with our eyesight, but truly, “a fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.”

Depth of vision. At times, we don’t see deeply enough, that is, we don’t take the time to look below the surface. And not taking the time is really the heart of the problem, as anyone knows who has wrongfully judged another person by making a hasty assessment on the basis of a first impression or a superficial acquaintance.

Breadth of vision. When we don’t see what we need to see, sometimes the problem is not so much incorrect seeing as it is insufficient seeing. John Ruskin wrote, “Not only is there but one way of doing things rightly, but there is only one way of seeing them, and that is, seeing the whole of them.” Factors like perspective and scope are critically important. Just as there are times when we need to look more deeply, there are times when we need to back up and take a wider view. It’s often amazing what can be seen from a distance!

If we need to see more deeply and more broadly, one of the best ways to learn to do so is to listen attentively when other people tell us what they see. One reason the fool doesn’t see the same tree as the wise man is that the fool won’t pay attention when the wise man is describing what he sees. The fool never learns a deeper, broader vision because he’s ignorantly content with what little he sees on his own.

In the end, it’s a combination of motive and experience that allows us to improve our seeing. We have to want to see more than we do right now, but even with that desire, we have to have our understanding prepared by certain experiences before we can be struck by the full significance of the things we encounter. The longer we live, the more we’re able to recognize certain truths that have been “right before our eyes” for many years. That’s one reason life in this remarkable world is such a never-ending adventure in seeing.

“People only see what they are prepared to see” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Look round the habitable world: how few Know their own good, or knowing it, pursue” (John Dryden).

TWO QUESTIONS TEST OUR CHARACTER AT ITS DEEPEST LEVEL. Marcus Aurelius was not mistaken when he said, “The true worth of a man is to be measured by the objects he pursues.” So it is important at regular intervals to ask ourselves these two questions: What are we pursuing? and How are we pursuing it?

The “what” of our pursuit. Some things are morally and ethically wrong to pursue, and these endeavors can’t be made worthy by any amount of excellence in the manner or method of their pursuit. Yet even within the realm of what’s right, we need to be careful about what we try to achieve. The “good” is often the enemy of the “better” and the “best,” and we ought to care enough about the quality of our lives to pursue the very best that we can. Even more important, however, we need to be cautious in the criteria by which we judge what is good, better, and best. By some criteria, for example, it would be better to pursue becoming a doctor than becoming a nurse, but by other (equally valid) criteria, the person who has become a nurse has pursued a goal no less praiseworthy than that of the doctor, despite the doctor’s higher social and economic profile. To be completely accurate, we’d have to say that a person’s true worth is measured not only by the objects he pursues but also by the reasons for which he pursues them.

The “how” of our pursuit. Even with admirable pursuits, we need to make sure that we pursue them in a principled way. Contrary to popular belief, the end does not justify the means, and we are never excused from wrongdoing simply because we had an honorable objective. And not only should the pursuit of our goals be principled; it should also be passionate. “The roots of true achievement lie in the will to become the best that you can become” (Harold Taylor).

It’s important, then, for us to pay attention to our pursuits. Not many good goals can be reached by merely “going with the flow.” It takes deliberate, conscious choice to keep ourselves pointed in the right direction — and in whatever direction it’s right for us to be pointed, it takes character to fire up our pursuits with principle and passion.

“Every calling is great when greatly pursued” (Oliver Wendell Holmes).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“There is not a heart but has its moments of longing, yearning for something better, nobler, holier than it knows now” (Henry Ward Beecher).

ALL OF US HAVE LONGINGS, BUT NOT ALL OF US ACKNOWLEDGE THEM OR HONOR THEM. We may not think about it very often, and even when we do, we may not be able to put our feelings into words, but every one of us has a “strong, persistent yearning or desire” (American Heritage Dictionary) for circumstances more perfect than those that presently surround us. And it’s not only better circumstances that we long for; I believe we also long for a more perfect character. Whether we look outside ourselves or inside, what we see leaves much to be desired. And so we desire to improve, longing for what we’ve seen so far only in our dreams and aspirations. Wouldn’t it be wise, then, to acknowledge our longings and even to honor them?

Many of the things that motivate us to do worthy work stem from our longings. For instance, even our intellectual curiosity, our desire to understand the nature of what is real, is a form of longing. “Philosophy,” wrote Plato, “is a longing after heavenly wisdom.”

In Antony and Cleopatra, Shakespeare had Cleopatra say, “I have immortal longings in me.” The notion of “immortal longings” is one that has occurred to many of the wisest people who have ever lived. It does, in fact, seem reasonable that our yearnings are a hint of our true nature, a suggestion that we’re connected to a larger, more enduring reality than the one that we experience in space-time with our physical senses. The writer of the Book of Ecclesiastes affirmed that we’ve been created by a God who “has put eternity in [our] hearts.”

If we had no longings, we’d be an impoverished people. We’d be flatter, duller, and less capable of significant contribution. After all, a major part of what we can offer to others is our aspiration, our yearning to move forward. So our longings are not to be regretted or avoided. Although they may sometimes be so poignant as to be painful, they’re usually pulling us in a direction that we need to go. There is a certain beauty to our wistfulness, and good things often come from letting our longings be felt — and even allowed to grow.

“I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still” (A. W. Tozer).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Let no one or anything stand between you and the difficult task; let nothing deny you this rich chance to gain strength by adversity, confidence by mastery, success by deserving it. Do it better each time. Do it better than anyone else can do it. I know this sounds old-fashioned. It is, but it has built the world” (Harold H. Curtice).

MASTERY GIVES US A SATISFACTION THAT MEDIOCRITY CAN NEVER PROVIDE. Yet too few of us have tasted the joy of mastery. We’ve dreamed about hundreds of things. We’ve dabbled in many things. And maybe we’ve even progressed to the intermediate level in several things. But few of us have paid the price to gain the level of mastery in any single realm of endeavor. We’ve not invested the years of patient sweat and sacrifice that it takes to reach the state of consummate skill and genuine expertise. But those who have done so enjoy a gratification that is truly one of life’s special treats.

Mastery doesn’t mean pride. When Curtice suggests that we do something “better than anyone else can do it,” what he’s talking about has nothing to do with arrogance, competition, or prideful self-sufficiency. He’s just urging us never to be content with anything less than improvement. In any activity, mastery means the constant desire to increase the excellence of the art, craft, science, or whatever it may be. If how we do a particular thing is no better than it has already been done (including by ourselves), then we’ve probably not done it as excellently as it might be done. Mastery is always pushing the limits.

Mastery doesn’t mean perfection. In the world as we know it, it’s not possible to achieve absolute perfection in any endeavor. But that doesn’t mean mastery is not possible. Flawlessly perfect houses can’t be built by anybody, but that doesn’t keep us from distinguishing people who’ve become master carpenters from those who haven’t.

The most important kind of mastery, however, is self-mastery. We needn’t think that, just because we’ve mastered our job, our work, or our craft, there is no need to master ourselves, for therein lies the real mastery, and without it, no other mastery will be found praiseworthy.

“We should every night call ourselves to an account: What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired? Our vices will abate of themselves if they be brought every day to the judgment” (Seneca).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“When God thought of mother, he must have laughed with satisfaction and framed it quickly — so rich, so deep, so divine, so full of soul, power, and beauty was the conception” (Henry Ward Beecher).

SOME HUMAN ATTRIBUTES ARE TYPICALLY FOUND IN WOMEN MORE OFTEN THAN IN MEN, AND “MOTHERLINESS” IS SUCH A TRAIT, OBVIOUSLY. Indeed, motherliness is so closely associated in our minds with the feminine disposition that it stands as one of the defining characteristics of femininity. The natural tendency to love and cherish, to nourish and nurture, and to encourage and support are so bound up with being a woman that these skills are usually thought to come as part of a woman’s “original equipment.”

But notice carefully the word we’re meditating on today: it’s not just “motherhood,” but “motherliness” that we want to think about. Motherhood is the biological fact of being a mother, and it may or may not be accompanied by motherly attitudes and actions. Usually it is, but not always. And so we properly pay tribute to those women who’ve not only borne children, but having done so, have also given their children (and perhaps others) the great gift of motherliness.

Motherliness is not just a trait; it’s a virtue. It’s something to be admired and praised. Yes, it does come naturally to most women, but the actual following of motherly instincts on a day-to-day basis requires choice. It requires work. And it requires no small measure of sacrifice. Those mothers who have gone beyond motherhood into the realm of real motherliness are to be honored in the very highest way.

In some parts of the world, May is the month when “Mother’s Day” comes around. This is a day to remember our mothers for their greatness — and if they’re still living, to express our appreciation to them personally. Fortunately, greatness as a mother doesn’t require a woman to have achieved many of the things that the world admires; “success” (at least in the usual sense) is simply not necessary. And that’s a good thing because not many of our mothers had any realistic chance to make a mark that the world would notice. But oh, how they loved us! And if today we had little else in life but the love our mothers gave up their lives to give us, we’d still be wealthy, wouldn’t we?

“A rich child often sits in a poor mother’s lap” (Danish Proverb).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“He that can work is a born king of something” (Thomas Carlyle).

TO CONTINUE LIVING IN THE WORLD, CERTAIN BASIC THINGS HAVE TO BE PROVIDED: FOOD, CLOTHING, AND SHELTER. When we do honest work to provide these things for ourselves and our loved ones, we do an honorable thing. And though it’s been a long time since the daily necessities had to be grown, caught, or made by very many of us with our own hands, it can hardly be denied that there is still an elemental satisfaction in doing these things personally and directly. “There is,” in the words of Marianne Moore, “no pleasure subtler than the sensation of being a good workman.”

In the 1940s, Harlan Hubbard and his wife, Anna, left the elite social life of Cincinnati and took to the Ohio River. Eventually, they settled in a little cove called Payne Hollow, building a house with the rocks and timbers they found there and living forever afterward on what they could provide with their own hands. Theirs was no experiment, like Thoreau’s sojourn at Walden Pond, but a committed way of life from which they never looked back. On May 7, 1999, I had the privilege of visiting Payne Hollow. The artist to whom the Hubbards gave the property when they died still lived there, single-handedly maintaining a working homestead as Harlan and Anna would have wanted. Payne Hollow is to me a wonderful symbol, a monument to the wholesome pleasure of working and . . . providing.

Jacques Barzun said, “Work is something that engages the heart and the mind as well as the hand, something that involves the surmounting of difficulties for results that are deemed important to the worker.” When we work to provide for our own needs, and especially when we use materials we’ve garnered from our own surroundings, we come into contact with a satisfaction that’s as old as our oldest ancestors. And we’re the losers for not enjoying it more often.

Work itself is not a curse, and manual labor is a far better thing than most people suppose. “Thou, O God, dost sell us all good things at the price of labor” (Leonardo da Vinci). Today, let’s reconsider the quality of our own work. Let’s recall the pleasure of providing.

“No race can prosper till it learns there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem” (Booker T. Washington).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com