“Any deep relationship to another human being requires watchfulness and nourishment; otherwise, it is taken from us” (Paul Tillich).

THINGS THAT ARE PHYSICALLY ALIVE NEED NOURISHMENT OR ELSE THEY DIE. Most of us, somewhere along the way, have neglected a houseplant or two and seen the sad results. But there are some intangible things that need nourishment too, such as our relationship with those around us. Our relationships with other people may not need physical nutrients (although there’s a lot to be said for eating good food with good friends), but they do need emotional and spiritual nourishment. And the consequences of malnourished relationships are far sadder than the loss of any physically living thing.

Relationships need to be fed huge helpings of love and appreciation and concern. They also need the nourishment that comes from time and energy and service. And above all, of course, love itself needs to be nourished. “Love is a tender plant; when properly nourished, it becomes sturdy and enduring, but neglected it will soon wither and die” (Hugh B. Brown). The love, however, that usually needs to be nourished is not the love that others have for us but our love for them. It’s a selfish mistake to make our relationships totally dependent on the quality of love that other people show to us. Without being condescending or patronizing, we can grow better relationships by nourishing the love we show to them. Amazing transformations in relationships can take place when we feed the affection that’s in our own hearts (or even used to be there), regardless of the immediate response.

Wouldn’t it be a fine thing to be known as somebody who nurtures and nourishes, rather than somebody who depletes and destroys? Indeed it would, and in truth, that’s a reputation that’s within the reach of every person on the planet. Many things we may not be able to do, but we can be people who nourish our friends and neighbors.

Nourishment never goes out of style. There’ll never be a time when it’s not needed. The more we nourish those who cross our path, the more they’ll enjoy being nourished. It’s an everyday opportunity, really, and a lifelong privilege. Let’s not miss the pleasure of it.

“The more the heart is nourished with happiness, the more it is insatiable” (Gabrielle Roy).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Make it clear. Make it simple. Emphasize the essentials” (Charles R. Swindoll).

SOME OF OUR GREATEST IMPROVEMENTS IN LIFE COME FROM CUTTING THROUGH THE CLUTTER AND GETTING BACK TO THE ESSENTIALS. In the round of daily ideas and activities, some things matter much more than others, and it’s important to give the best of our time and energy to the deeds that are going to make the most difference for good. But that’s hard to do. Trivia creeps into our lives at an astonishing rate, and it takes more discipline than most of us possess to keep the clutter at bay and stay focused on our priorities. So now and then, we’re greatly helped by a good “housecleaning” — one in which we get rid of “things” we don’t really need.

If something is essential, that means we have to have it. We can’t do without it. The real difficulty in life, however, is being honest enough to identify what’s essential and what’s optional. It takes a person of uncommon honesty to see the difference between what he really needs and what he merely wants. If we want something badly enough, it’s fairly easy to convince ourselves that we have to have it.

Yet even when we’re willing to be honest and courageous, we need to understand that what we think is essential depends on what our standards are. Our standards come from our principles and our values, and the truth of the matter is, we’re sometimes dangerously careless in deciding these things. We casually pick up our principles, and the standards that go along with them, from the media, the popular culture, and the people around us. As a result, we find ourselves defining the “essentials” as cars, clothes, cologne, and Caribbean cruises, and we spend 90% of our time on things that are 10% essential to real life.

Life can be complicated. The surface appearance of some things can be deceiving, and as long as Hollywood and Madison Avenue are with us, there’s going to be some confusion over what matters in life and what doesn’t. So fairly often we need to call a halt to the commerce. We need to slow down and listen. If we’ll listen, our hearts and our consciences will tell us what the essentials have always been.

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye” (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Does not every man feel that he is himself made higher by doing reverence to what is really above him?” (Thomas Carlyle).

IS THERE ANYTHING “ABOVE” US? Are we answerable or accountable to any power or personal supremacy that it would be right for us to give “reverence” to? Historically, most human beings have thought so, but it’s not a question that ought to be answered on the basis of tradition alone. It’s an issue for each individual to confront, and it’s the most crucial question, by far, that anybody ever asks.

The fact that we have the capacity for reverence is an interesting thing in itself. No other flesh-and-blood creatures have this power. Only we can admire and be in awe, or extend honor and esteem. Only we can worship — lovingly and purely. And these qualities are no small gift: of all the things that set us apart from the lesser creatures, the capacity for reverence is the most distinctive. “Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish man from beasts?” (Confucius).

If we wish to deepen the quality of reverence in our lives, I would like to suggest that we look first at our speech. Reverence resides principally in the heart, of course, but it’s a fact that we can sometimes encourage our hearts to change by adjusting external things like our words. We live in a time when reverential, or even respectful, speech has become almost old-fashioned, even among religious folks. We’ve become shockingly rude. I believe we’d gain some good things in our lives if we’d recover a certain modesty and reserve when we feel the urge to speak of things above us, and I agree with Nietzsche’s opinion: “Concerning great things one should either be silent or speak loftily.”

Yet in the end, it’s obvious that reverence must be more than words, or even feelings or sentiments. Reverence is a right orientation to, and a real-life relationship with, all that is above us. If, for example, there really is a God, then reverence would be a worshipful manner of actually dealing with that objective reality. So let us reconsider the concept of reverence. Let us learn again the wholeness that can only come from humility toward that which is higher and greater than we are.

Let knowledge grow from more to more,
But more of reverence in us dwell;
That mind and soul, according well,
May make one music as before.
(Alfred, Lord Tennyson)

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Only in quiet waters things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world” (Hans Margolius).

IT TAKES A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF QUIETNESS AND STILLNESS FOR IMPORTANT TRUTHS TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION ON OUR MINDS. But modern life, much to our detriment, tends to make us fidgety and frantic. Neither quiet nor still, our minds are usually racing, moving at full throttle from one item on our agenda to another, or from one interesting entertainment to another. We think about many, many things, but rarely do we think about any of them meditatively. We don’t give ourselves a chance to reflect and ponder and consider. And as a result, a number of important thoughts pass through our brains without any real chance to take up residence there.

To “meditate” means to think about something quietly and at length. “Meditation,” as William Grimshaw said, “is the soul’s chewing.” Indeed, one of the synonyms for meditate is “ruminate,” which means to “chew” something over in our minds. But sometimes, we meditate by just quietly reflecting, without any words or mental action at all. Often, this is the most helpful kind of meditation. It’s a beneficial thing simply to grow quiet and . . . listen. We can be powerfully reminded of important principles when we are receptively still.

Meditation is important because that’s where we usually see the meaning and significance of what we know. Without meditation, we may have much information in our minds, but there’ll be little wisdom in our hearts. It takes meditating on matters to move from the question “What?” to the more important question “So what?”

But we can’t have the benefits of meditation without making the sacrifice that meditation requires. For one thing, genuine meditation requires a discipline that has to be learned. But not only that, it takes being willing to let go of some of our activities in order to have the time to meditate. We can’t have it both ways, and it’s foolish to try.

If, like the lake that has the boon
Of cradling the little moon
Above the hill,
I want the Infinite to be
Reflected undisturbed in me,
I must be still.
(Edna Becker)

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

What is so rare as a day in June?
Then, if ever, come perfect days;
Then Heaven tries the earth if it be in tune,
And over it softly her warm ear lays.
(James Russell Lowell)

A “CYCLE” IS A PERIOD OF TIME DURING WHICH A SERIES OF REGULARLY REPEATING EVENTS OCCURS. There is, for example, a cycle that takes place as our hearts beat. First one thing happens, then another, then another, etc. — all in an orderly sequence, until the cycle is finished, at which time the cycle repeats itself. This happens over and over and over again as long as we live.

As the spelling of the word indicates, “cycle” is closely related to “circle.” Cyclical things are circular: their ends are connected back to their beginnings, and they go around and around. Some of the cycles that we invent are tedious and tiresome, but those in the world of nature should never grow old to us. They are marvelous.

If you live in a climate where there is a marked change of seasons, be glad. The cycle of spring, summer, autumn, and winter is a thing of wonder, and its wonder ought not to be lost on us.

There are many things in the world, like the seasons, whose enjoyment stems mainly from the fact that we don’t have them all the time. To enjoy something, and then not have it for a while but see it come around again, is one of life’s most pleasant experiences. As the seasons cycle through their yearly round, we are refreshed, replenished, and reminded of things we would forget if we didn’t have the seasons.

Today, of course, it’s in our thoughts that summer has come around again. Here is a season that most of us find it easy to enjoy, and this, it seems to me, is because summer is tied in so many of our minds to the intense happiness of childhood. I, for one, couldn’t agree more with Edith Wharton, who said, “Summer afternoon — summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.” In the cycle of the seasons, summer will come around again next year, just as it did last year. But on this day of this year, summer’s just beginning. Let’s welcome it with high spirits.

“In those vernal seasons of the year, when the air is calm and pleasant, it were an injury and sullenness against Nature not to go out, and see her riches, and partake in her rejoicing with heaven and earth” (John Milton).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

The keen spirit
Seizes the prompt occasion —
Makes the thought
Start into instant action, and at once
Plans and performs, resolves and executes.
(Hannah Moore)

INSTANCY IS URGENCY OR IMMEDIACY IN OUR ACTIONS. It is, as Hannah Moore tells us, the thing that “makes the thought start into instant action.” It’s not only planning but performing, not only resolving but executing. And what a powerful virtue instancy is! It takes dreams, kind intentions, and loving impulses off the drawing board and injects them into real life, where they can do some good.

Not everything should be done instantly, of course. Some things should not be done at all, and we need to guard against the rashness that would do right now what, on later reflection, would clearly be seen as foolish. But even when something needs to be done, wisdom often indicates that now is not the best time to do it. So there is a time to be instant and a time to wait. We can’t let our lives be tyrannized by the pressure of all those things that are only superficially urgent.

Nevertheless, when we know full well that the time to do a certain thing is now, instancy needs to be the quality that our character demonstrates. It’s an exceedingly dangerous thing to ignore our conscience when it’s urging us to act. Every time we say no to our conscience, we make it that much harder to say yes to it in the future.

But instancy, or the lack of it, not only has consequences for us; it also affects those around us, especially our loved ones. We probably have no idea how many difficulties we create for others when we put off doing things that should be done instantly. Instancy, then, is a great gift we can give to those who have to live and work with us.

There is a beauty possessed by instancy that delay can never hope to attain. Our lives are made up of moments, or “instants,” and when we use these well, we honor them. Acting with integrity in each moment of choice, we express appreciation for the gift of life — and we show by the use of our freedom that there are things worth pursuing.

But with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy . . .
(Francis Thompson)

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“. . . then we learn that the storms of life have driven us, not upon the rocks, but into the desired haven” (George MacDonald).

SOME OF THE HAPPIEST “HAVENS” IN LIFE ARE THOSE WE WOULD NEVER HAVE FOUND HAD NOT SOME “STORM” DRIVEN US THERE. If necessity is the mother of invention, it’s also the mother of discovery. When we have to, we find out where there is refuge, safety, and sanctuary. At other times, we’re in desperate need of finding a haven and we have no idea where to look, but the very haven we need appears anyway. Either way, storms are not to be regretted if they result in our finding a pleasant port that we never knew about before.

We need to appreciate the extent to which other people have provided rest and refuge for us. There aren’t many of us who are not indebted to friends who’ve given us shelter in the midst of some storm, sometimes at significant personal sacrifice. The worst thing we could do would be to take those havens for granted — and the best thing we could do would be to provide for others what has been provided for us.

For a human being, the ideal haven would not be a place of inactivity and indolence. And when it comes to relationships, those that provide the most helpful havens for us in troubled times aren’t necessarily those where everybody agrees with every word we say, strokes our ego, and tells us to just sit back and relax. Even when we’re in pain, there are times when we need to be confronted with honest truths that can cause us to grow and make progress. Yes, a true haven provides safety, but the safety should be used constructively. Repairs need to be made, and then our ship needs to put back out to sea.

Wherever we are, in whatever “place” we may find ourselves, we need to see our circumstances as some sort of a haven. We may think our present situation is undesirable. We may worry that it leaves us open to certain dangers. But whatever difficulties it may be our lot to experience, it’s almost always the case that those difficulties protect us from some other, perhaps more dangerous, difficulty. In the real world, contentment often comes down to seeing and appreciating the haven-like aspects of our current condition, whatever that may be.

All places that the eye of heaven visits
Are to a wise man ports and happy havens.
(William Shakespeare)

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Subordination tends greatly to human happiness” (Samuel Johnson).

BEING SUBORDINATE TO SOMEONE ELSE ISN’T NECESSARILY SOMETHING TO RESENT OR BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT. In life there happen to be many hierarchies, and as we live and work within these arrangements, it’s no disgrace to occupy a lower rank than someone else or to be subject to the authority of someone else. Being subordinate may be more or less difficult, depending on how both we and those to whom we’re subordinate conduct ourselves in a given relationship, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with the principle of subordination itself. Our social world is no different than the natural world in that hierarchies are necessary: the normal operation of living systems can’t occur without them. So we need to work our way toward a healthy, wholesome concept of subordination.

We ought to make life as pleasant as possible for those to whom we’re subordinate. By the manner in which we relate to those whose leadership we are to follow, we can make their lives either heaven or hell. Anyone can carp and criticize those who have the duty of decision-making. That’s easy. But it takes more character to be helpful to those who have to make the decisions, and that’s what we ought to aim for.

We ought to make life as pleasant as possible for those who are subordinate to us. There may be many relationships in which we’re under someone else’s authority, but sooner or later, we’re going to end up in other relationships in which we are in the lead and others will be subordinate to our role. When that happens, we need to govern our attitude and behavior in such a way that others find it a pleasure to carry out their responsibilities under our leadership.

In whatever relationships we find ourselves, our goal always ought to be to give subordination a good name, rather than a bad one. Doing that requires hard work, and it requires more strength and self-discipline than many of us have right now. It’s not going too far to say that one of the major tests of our character is whether we’re willing, with the right attitude, to be subordinate to others. If we’re so power-hungry that we demand no less than equal authority in every relationship, then we’ve disqualified ourselves from any true leadership.

“No man is safe above but he that will gladly be beneath” (Thomas à Kempis).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Sure there is music even in the beauty, and the silent note which Cupid strikes, far sweeter than the sound of an instrument. For there is a music wherever there is a harmony, order, or proportion; and thus far we may maintain the music of the spheres” (Sir Thomas Browne).

WHO WOULD DISAGREE THAT THERE IS A “MUSIC” MADE BY THINGS LIKE HARMONY, ORDER, OR PROPORTION? We don’t have to be neurotically obsessed with neatness to appreciate the beauty — and even the value — of balanced efficiency and harmonious arrangement in the world around us. Freedom and spontaneity are wonderful things, but none of us would want to live in a world where total confusion and unpredictability were the norm. The marvelous spontaneity we so deeply enjoy in nature is supported and made possible by a larger pattern of orderliness. So most of us are glad to live in a “cosmos” (from the Greek kosmos, which meant “order”) rather than a “chaos” (from the Greek khaos, which meant “emptiness”).

Our habitations. Deep down, wouldn’t most of us rather live and work and play in spaces that are made more comfortable by a reasonable amount of order? Surely we would, and the work that’s required to maintain a little orderliness in our habitations is worthy work.

Our lifestyles. Just as unmaintained spaces become chaotic and uninviting, so do our lifestyles when we default on our “housekeeping” chores. It doesn’t take long for the chaos to creep in. So what about your manner of life? Is it overdue for some serious reordering?

Our characters. Since other people see our lifestyles, we may try to keep them somewhat orderly. But our characters, like our back yards, can’t be seen so easily, and there, we may not be as careful. But in truth, our “back yard” speaks volumes about who we really are, and nothing is sadder than a run-down character, rank with “weeds.”

Nowadays, we ought to make up our minds that we’re simply not going to let words like “orderliness” have a negative connotation to us. Orderliness doesn’t do away with spontaneity; it’s the very thing that makes freedom such a delightful possibility. As in nature, so it is in our own lives: order is what gives us a playground on which to play.

“Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly” (Julie Andrews).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“There is no past we can bring back by longing for it. There is only an eternal now that builds and creates out of the past something new and better” (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe).

WE CAN’T LIVE IN ANYTHING BUT THE PRESENT MOMENT, BUT THE PRESENT MOMENT OUGHT TO BE USED BUILDING THINGS THAT WILL HAVE SOME VALUE IN THE FUTURE. Specifically what is to be built will differ from person to person, depending upon the interests, abilities, and opportunities of each individual, but in one way or another, all of us need to be engaged in the work of building. It’s hard work, of course — much harder than tearing down. But building is what we ought to be busy doing.

Actually, building is an activity from which we instinctively derive satisfaction. The world in which we live is such that a certain amount of building has to be done by us, even for our bare survival, and our natures are such that this necessary work is something we find joy in doing, if we think about the matter rightly. Whether or not we acknowledge the fact or do anything worthwhile about it, most of us have a deeply ingrained tendency or need to be building something. And no small part of our happiness depends on whether we have a healthy means of satisfying our building impulse.

To be builders, however, we have to rise above cynicism. Defying those who say that nothing we do will make any difference, we have to believe that at least some of the building we’re capable of doing in this world is worth the effort. Despite short-term discouragements, we have to trust that, in the long run, it does some good to do good.

And not only that, but we must be willing to build for the benefit of others. “The fate of the architect is the strangest of all,” wrote Goethe. “How often he expends his whole soul, his whole heart and passion, to produce buildings into which he himself may never enter.”

But finally, think about this: of all the things any of us can build, none is more beautiful, or important, than love. Even if in the past we’ve torn down more than we’ve built up, today can be well spent if we build a bigger love in our hearts than has ever been there before.

And ruin’d love, when it is built anew,
Grows fairer than at first, more strong, far greater.
(William Shakespeare)

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com