“Devotion is not a thing that passes, that comes and goes, as it were, but it is something habitual, fixed, permanent that extends over every instant of life and regulates all our conduct” (Douglas V. Steele).

DEVOTION AND LOVE ARE CLOSELY RELATED, BUT DEVOTION ADDS AN IMPORTANT ELEMENT THAT’S NOT ALWAYS FOUND IN LOVE. Both love and devotion have to do with attraction and attachment, but in contrast to love, devotion tends to be more selfless and more settled. In situations where love might fluctuate, based on whether it was getting what it wanted, devotion would remain steady. As Douglas V. Steele says, it’s “something habitual, fixed, permanent.”

The joy of dedication. Giving oneself to a particular end, not just in affection but in dedication, is one of the most intensely joyful experiences open to us. But when was the last time you pledged yourself to pay close and loyal attention to some honorable “devotion”?

The joy of fidelity. Hardly less than the happiness that comes from dedication is that which comes from fidelity or faithfulness. If you haven’t tried it lately, try devoting yourself to something with steadfastness and allegiance. Be someone somebody else can count on.

One of the saddest things in life is to see people who’ve never learned the joy of being devoted to something outside of themselves. Yet our culture is sometimes so self-centered we find ourselves having to fight that tendency. We become so engrossed in getting the world to operate as we want it to that we pay less and less heed to the larger concerns of life. So we need to be warned. As George MacDonald said, “There is one kind of religion in which the more devoted a man is, the fewer proselytes he makes: the worship of himself.”

But even when we do practice a little devotion, there is another tendency we have nowadays, and that is to devote ourselves more to ideas and abstractions than to real, flesh-and-blood people. There is nothing wrong with being devoted to a worthy cause, of course, but it takes more character, and it should be a higher priority, to be devoted to some actual persons, whether many or few. Causes can surely be helped by our devotion, but people can be literally transformed!

“There is a difference between devotion to principles and devotion to a person” (Oswald Chambers).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“To own a bit of ground, to scratch it with a hoe, to plant seeds, and watch their renewal of life — this is the commonest delight of the race, the most satisfactory thing a man can do” (Charles Dudley Warner).

THERE IS AN ELEMENTAL, AGE-OLD JOY THAT COMES TO US IN THE ACT OF PLANTING. No matter how urbanized our culture becomes, it’s not likely we’ll ever outgrow the pleasures that were a part of our ancestors’ agricultural way of life. Getting our hands into the soil, planting seeds, watering them, and nurturing the greenery as it begins to grow, these are joys that have a rich heritage in our hearts. Planting is almost pure happiness, and we need to do more of it.

Planting is an act of faith and trust if ever there was one. No one would ever plant anything if he or she weren’t willing to take a risk. Planting is based on the confidence that there are things we can do today that will make a difference for good tomorrow, and anytime we plant a seed, we make a statement about the future: we may not know many things about it, but we’ve chosen to point ourselves in that direction, and we believe the future’s worth making an investment in.

By far the best planting we ever do, however, is not agricultural but personal. When we make new beginnings with other people, either by entering into new relationships or doing things that reinvigorate old ones, we are “planting” in the very highest sense. And we should enjoy this to the extent that it becomes an observable part of our character and conduct. We should want to be people who’re known to do a lot more planting than we do uprooting.

The exciting thing is that it’s never too late to do some planting. We may have done little of it in the past. We may even have blighted things that were planted by someone else. But the more life has gone badly for us in the past, the more it’s “planting time” right now.

The results that can come from planting good things in our relationships with others are truly amazing. A bountiful harvest can come from even modest plantings, if the seeds are sown in love. The soil doesn’t even have to appear particularly promising. We just have to believe that the timeless laws of growth have not yet been repealed.

“Plant a word of love heart-deep in a person’s life. Nurture it with a smile and a prayer, and watch what happens” (Max Lucado).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Meekness is love in school, and temperance is love in training” (Dwight Lyman Moody).

IT TAKES “TRAINING” (1) TO BE GOOD AT WHAT WE DO, (2) TO ENJOY WORTHWHILE PLEASURES, AND EVEN (3) TO EXERCISE HONORABLE CHARACTER TRAITS. Love, for example, seems to be a fairly spontaneous thing, but even it has to be schooled and trained. As Moody says, meekness is its school and temperance is its training.

The word “training” is actually an interesting word. Its basic idea is that of following. A railway “train” is a succession of cars that follow one another in a line, the “train” on a wedding gown follows wherever the bride goes, and so forth. So to “train” something is to teach it to follow obediently. The difference between a concert violinist’s fingers and mine is that by long discipline and government his have been taught to follow the dictates of his mind very precisely. I might hear the same notes in my mind and even order my fingers to play them — but my fingers are unruly. They haven’t been taught to follow such difficult instructions.

Much more important than any kind of physical training is the training of our minds and spirits. To be constructively useful, these helpers have to be trained. Specifically, they have to be trained to serve the interests of our principles and our conscience. And really, that’s what life consists of, isn’t it? It’s a training ground where we learn the disciplined use of our endowments. As C. S. Lewis said, “If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place of training and correction, and it’s not so bad.” And on this point, I also like what Aldous Huxley said, “Of the significant and pleasurable experiences of life only the simplest are open indiscriminately to all. The rest cannot be had except by those who have undergone a suitable training.”

But whether or not we recognize it, we are training ourselves. By our habitual practices, we are ingraining certain traits within us, for better or worse. And mark it well: if it’s by nothing more than negligence and laziness that we’re training ourselves, we need not think that we’ll eventually enjoy the benefits of a better kind of training.

“A man can seldom — very, very seldom — fight a winning fight against his training” (Mark Twain).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

Is life worth living?
Aye, with the best of us,
Heights of us, depths of us,
Life is the test of us!
(Corinne Roosevelt Robinson)

NOT MANY DAYS GO BY THAT DO NOT PRESENT US WITH SOME KIND OF TEST, WHETHER LARGE OR SMALL. Once in a while, the tests are quite large indeed. And then, perhaps two or three times in our entire lives, we find ourselves meeting the biggest tests of all, the ones where our characters are assayed in the hottest fires they’ll ever experience. We may dread life’s tests and resist them, but wouldn’t it be better if we welcomed the feedback they give us?

One of the interesting aspects of our lives is that we can’t always tell which tests are the biggest ones. Many of the most significant trials of our character don’t seem like any big deal at the time. It may be years before we can see that the way in which we made a certain choice (or failed to make it) was the passing or failing of an important test. The school of life is no ordinary school: we often don’t know which are the minor quizzes and which are the major exams . . . until later.

Could I give you a little friendly advice? Pay big attention to the little tests. You’ll do better on the big ones later if, up until then, you’ve been doing right by the little ones. Don’t save up your willpower for the conspicuous occasions when you think everything is on the line; spend it freely on the daily choices that, in their cumulative effect, will either make or break your character. For most of us, the first test of the day arrives when the alarm clock goes off. Pass that test, and you’ll be well on your way to handling the rest of the day’s decisions, whatever they may be. Fail it, and you’ll find your bigger choices being harder than they have to be. So take the little tests seriously.

What tests demonstrate, of course, is whether we’re strong or weak. One good thing about them is that in the very act of being tested we can grow stronger. But we ought to be careful about the kind of strength we aspire to. The strength to serve, more than the strength to get our own way, ought to be our aim. That’s the real test.

“What we can do for another is the test of power; what we can suffer for is the test of love” (B. F. Westcott).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Good manners are the technique of expressing consideration for the feelings of others” (Alice Duer Miller).

SHOWING CONSIDERATION FOR OTHERS IS EASIER WHEN WE HAVE SOME PRECEDENT TO FOLLOW. For example, if someone did us a favor and we had never in our lifetime seen or heard anyone else respond considerately to a favor being done, we might have trouble figuring out how to respond appropriately ourselves. In such a situation, it’s a big help to know that saying “thank you” has been proven over a long period of time to be a considerate response. Being able to fall back on a useful precedent is a great relief. So in the final analysis, that’s what good manners are: ways of “expressing consideration for the feelings of others” that time has proven to be valuable.

Mannerliness amounts to making others as comfortable as possible in our presence. But making others comfortable requires that we be comfortable within ourselves, and so Alexander Pope wrote, “True politeness consists in being easy one’s self, and in making everyone about one as easy as one can.” True mannerliness is always an outgrowth of personal integrity, principled behavior, and peace of mind.

Most worthwhile things take learning and practice, and mannerliness is no exception. If, as Alice Duer Miller wrote, good manners are the technique of expressing consideration, that technique needs to be acquired. Good intentions are not enough — we have to learn what are the time-tested ways of showing our good intentions.

Going to the trouble to learn and practice mannerly ways is one way to say “I love you” to those around us. Especially when we’re in a country or a culture different from our own, it takes extra effort to find out how consideration can best be shown in that environment, but making that extra effort is how we show that we truly care.

In a busy world, we need to make sure that things like good manners don’t become casualties of our busyness. In fact, it can be argued that the busier and more stressed out we are, the more we need to be mannerly. The “technique of expressing consideration for the feelings of others” is a skill that we should never be too busy to use.

“Life is not so short but that there is always time for courtesy” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“What is there more kindly than the feeling between host and guest?” (Aeschylus).

HOSPITALITY MEANS WE WELCOME GUESTS WITH WARMTH AND GENEROSITY, AND BEING HOSPITABLE MEANS WE MAKE A HABIT OF SHOWING HOSPITALITY. Both “hospitality” and “hospitable” come from the Latin word for “host.” When a host receives a guest with friendliness, something special happens. There is nothing “more kindly than the feeling between host and guest.”

It is possible, of course, to be hospitable anywhere at any time (perhaps buying someone’s meal in a restaurant), but when we welcome guests into our own homes we engage in a very special act. An even higher form of hospitality is when we welcome into our homes strangers who are in need. Indeed, the ancient Greek word for hospitality was philoxenia, which meant “love of strangers.” Almost anyone can be hospitable to friends, but it takes more character to show the same welcome and kindness to those who aren’t well known to us.

But hospitality, whether at home or elsewhere and whether toward friends or strangers, is always an outgrowth of “benevolence,” which means “good will.” It is an outward practice, certainly, but it begins on the inside, with a heart inclined to show kindness. “Where there is room in the heart there is room in the house” (Danish proverb).

Few things are more discouraging than to be “welcomed” into a home when the host’s heart is closed to us. So we need to guard against that inconsistency and receive our guests with genuine hospitality. “It is nothing won to admit men with an open door, and to receive them with a shut and reserved countenance” (Francis Bacon).

Real, down-home hospitality does have a way of being inconvenient. It’s no surprise that those who love their lifestyles more than they love their neighbors find it bothersome to share their homes. But for those who know that it’s “more blessed to give than to receive,” hospitality is well worth the sacrifice that it usually requires.

“Hospitality is a test for godliness because those who are selfish do not like strangers (especially needy ones) to intrude upon their private lives. They prefer their own friends who share their lifestyle. Only the humble have the necessary resources to give of themselves to those who could never give of themselves in return” (Erwin W. Lutzer).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That wants it down.
(Robert Frost)

THERE IS A “TOGETHER” INSTINCT IN NEARLY ALL OF US. Some people may be able to tolerate being alone more than others, but very few can say they have no need whatsoever for the experience of togetherness. We’re communal birds — and we tend to flock together.

Yet in these days of radical individualism, some folks shy away from togetherness, fearing it will smother their individual identities. But while some forms of togetherness might do that, authentic togetherness never obliterates the individual. Kahlil Gibran wrote, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness,” and that’s good advice. It’s the rhythm of togetherness and separateness that makes life exciting.

It also needs to be said that the best kind of togetherness is outward-looking rather than inward-looking. “Love,” said Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, “does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” The more “together” we are, the more we’ll derive pleasure from things that are external to the relationship. There is no self-centeredness or self-infatuation when people are truly together. Their combined vision simply gives them a better view of all that can be experienced and enjoyed “out there.”

Togetherness takes character, maturity, and hard work. Although our instincts usually run in the direction of togetherness, its actual practice in daily living doesn’t come naturally. It requires conscious effort to build wholesome relationships and then to enjoy them healthily. Like all other valuable things, togetherness has a price tag.

The main thing togetherness requires, of course, is love. By love we don’t mean the silly, sentimental thing that masquerades as love nowadays, but a solid, enduring commitment to the highest good of those around us. This kind of love has affection as one of its ingredients, but it also includes some other things: a desire to give rather than get, a willingness to sacrifice, and a readiness to go the extra mile for the sake of those with whom we’re together. If togetherness is the dough that makes the bread, love is the yeast that makes it rise.

“Love puts the fun in together . . . the sad in apart . . . the hope in tomorrow . . . the joy in a heart” (Anonymous).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“The wise man, knowing how to enjoy achieved results without having constantly to replace them with others, finds in them an attachment to life in the hour of difficulty” (Émile Durkheim).

IT’S GOOD NOT ONLY TO WORK TOWARD BETTER RESULTS IN THE FUTURE, BUT ALSO TO FIND HAPPINESS IN RESULTS THAT WE’VE ALREADY REACHED. We should certainly value the getting of actual results (as opposed to merely talking, for example), but we shouldn’t be so preoccupied with the future that we forget to relish the results that are already ours to enjoy. There’s much left to do, but after all, some things have been done and we should enjoy them.

In fact, there is a sense in which we should be willing for others to judge us on the basis of the results we’ve achieved up to now. The real evidence that demonstrates our character is not our “shoulda, woulda, couldas,” but our established, accomplished, and verified results. If we’re “selling” anything else, we’re just selling “vaporware.”

In the real world, it’s worth striving to be people who get results. Talk is cheap, as we’ve often been reminded, and so we must do more than talk about what needs to be done — we must do what needs to be done. I like the way the irrepressible Pat Croce put it. He said, “Neil Armstrong is not remembered for having circled the moon, although he did that; he’s remembered for having landed on the moon.”

It may be true that we get so few results today because we’ve been conditioned to be so impatient. Having come to expect quick fixes and thirty-minute solutions in the world of entertainment, we have a dangerous tendency to insist on instant results in everything we do. “[Television] has spread the habit of instant reaction and stimulated the hope of instant results” (Arthur Schlesinger Jr.). Yet few worthwhile things in this world come quickly or easily.

If we’re willing to work, however, we can work in faith — not faith in ourselves, but faith in what we know about the reliability of true-north principles. If (a) our principles are correct, and (b) we work with diligence, then the results are going to be worthwhile.

“It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true” (William James).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“Rashness succeeds often, still more often fails” (Napoleon Bonaparte).

WHEN WE FAIL TO LOOK AHEAD, WE OFTEN MAKE DECISIONS THAT CAUSE HARM — AND THEY’RE APT TO BE HARMFUL TO OTHERS AS WELL AS TO OURSELVES. To avoid the problems of rashness, we need to acquire a bit of “farsightedness,” the quality of thoughtfulness with regard to the future. None of us has a crystal ball that’s completely accurate, but that doesn’t mean we can’t look a little distance beyond the present moment and adjust our conduct accordingly. It’s simply a fact that those who consider the likely consequences of their actions have less trouble in life than those who don’t.

One aspect of farsightedness is planning prudently for the future. This simply means doing what Harvey Mackay suggested in the title of one of his books: Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty. Some people may go to an extreme here, obsessing about the future and refusing to spend any resource they fear they may need later on. But many of us have the opposite problem. We make no effort to anticipate future needs and provide for them in advance. We’re not as “provident” as we should be, and the quality of our lives suffers as a result.

You may not have thought of it, but one way to foresee the future is to take a long, hard look at the consequences of certain actions in other people’s lives. In the long run, none of us can beat the odds. When we see the law of cause and effect operating in someone else’s life, it’s foolish to think we’d get any different harvest if we sowed the same kind of seed. None of us is exempt from the law of the farm.

Laurence J. Peter liked to say, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’re probably going to end up somewhere else.” Often, it takes no more than pausing to “stop and think” to see that where we’re going is not where we want to go. We don’t have to be fortunetellers or perfect prognosticators of the future to foresee that some actions are inadvisable. We just have to learn to press the pause button once in a while and consider the question of consequences. For every person who suffers from too much caution and too much conservatism, many more of us suffer from too little foresight. We need to become people who are known to be wise, shrewd, judicious, and thoughtful.

“The prudent man looks where he is going” (The Book of Proverbs).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

     

“All things are difficult before they are easy” (Thomas Fuller).

EASE SHOULD NEVER BE THE PRIMARY THING WE SEEK IN LIFE, BUT IN A LIMITED SENSE, IT’S A GOOD THING AND ONE THAT’S WORTH STRIVING FOR. “Facility” is the quality of ease. When we do something with facility, that means we do it effortlessly, with little difficulty. The world-class figure skater, for example, has spent thousands of hours practicing her skill and can now perform feats of immense difficulty with an ease and grace that are beautiful to behold. Consider three words that have to do with this kind of ease.

Facile. Though this word can sometimes be used with a negative connotation, it can also be used positively to mean that something is done “in a relaxed manner.” Isn’t that something worth working for? I believe it is. As a public speaker, I work at that difficult craft in order to be able to speak to my audiences in a way that is “facile” or easy.

Facilitate. To “facilitate” is to make a process easier, and a “facilitator” is one who removes the difficulty from an activity. I suggest that we should all equip ourselves to become facilitators in one way or another. It’s a high compliment when someone says, “Thanks for your involvement; the work went much more smoothly with your help.”

Facility. Those who have acquired “facility” in a given work are those who have gained aptitude or fluency in it. It is “ready skill derived from practice or familiarity” (American Heritage Dictionary). If, as the saying goes, anything worth doing is worth doing well, then working with facility ought to be our goal in whatever we do.

When we run into obstacles in our various and sundry pursuits, we often make matters worse, rather than better, by acting in frustration. When a screwdriver doesn’t seem to be working, we often pick up a hammer — and use it in anger! But while it’s quite natural to want our work to be easily done, we need to understand that a difficult apprenticeship often has to be served first. As Thomas Fuller said, “All things are difficult before they are easy.” Facility, fluency, and effortlessness in our work are good goals that contribute to quality results, but they usually mean learning to work smarter as well as harder.

“When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time” (Francis de Sales).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com