9 More Things Never to Say to Wealthy Clients and Prospects

2. "Isn't our congressman terrible?"

Even if your client's politics align with yours and you're looking to bond, it's complicated. Many wealthy people keep their political views private. Why? Because they do business and raise money for their charities. The people they interact with come from across the spectrum. Bear in mind both parties have liberals and conservatives.

Instead: finds bright spots in the news or the economy to talk about. People like good news.

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3. "Your sister sure can knock 'em back."

Never be critical of their relatives, even if they share observations with you. Maybe their children are spendthrifts. On another day, you repeat it back to them and they take offense. What happened? Family closes ranks when an outside threat is perceived. His sister might be a lush, but she’s our lush!

Instead: If the person’s name comes up, make a comment that is positive and optimistic. You will be admired for your tact.

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4. “You'll never believe what I heard about so-and-so.”

This can actually be an impromptu test. They share a confidence, perhaps about someone else’s health or marital situation. You now feel like an insider. To announce your promotion in status, you share this with a few others. The thing you don’t know is you are the only person who heard the story using certain details. When the story gets back to them, they will know the story came from you.

Instead: When people share a personal detail, let them know you understand the concept of confidentiality. This will let them know you observe it in business, too.

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5. "Pour me another."

You might feel joining in with their excessive drinking shows you belong and have been accepted into the group. They are letting their hair down. This might be another test. Many people, especially recovering alcoholics, think drinking too much demonstrates a lack of good judgment. They assume this transitions into your business judgment.

Instead: Always assume you are on stage. If you want to really unwind, do it at home.

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6. "I completely forgot!"

You meet a fellow wine fan on Thursday and suggest you both go wine shopping on Saturday. You forget. They don’t. They kept Saturday free. Sunday too. They call on Monday, asking what happened! You are apologetic. “I completely forgot. It won’t happen again.” You are right. It won’t, because they have other choices of potential advisors. They assume your lack of attention to detail extends into your work life.

Instead: Write commitments down when they are fresh. Confirm by email.

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7. "What's your wife's name again?"

You meet someone and hit it off. Same interests and hobbies. Same outlook on investing. Their spouse is standing nearby. You share a bonding moment with your new friend, treating the spouse as a minor player. You might have just made an enemy.

Instead: Recognize what’s happening. “I’m monopolizing the conversation.” Draw the spouse into the discussion. Give them the chance to contribute. They might say: “You two keep talking. I see some friends across the room…”

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8. “You can’t take it with you.”

This might be true, but they don’t want to hear it. It reminds them of their own mortality. They probably want to leave a legacy for their family or favorite charities. They certainly don’t want it to disappear in taxes.

Instead: Talk about the importance of preserving wealth. “You worked hard for your money.”

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9. “Easy come, easy go.”

Don’t trivialize losses. Psychologically people feel the loss of a dollar more than they rejoice in finding the same amount. You are implying you don’t care about their losses or they are so wealthy they can absorb those losses with no problem.

Instead: Look at the bigger picture. Where are they making money? Where have they done well before?

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