You're not bringing yourgreat skills to your friend's doorstep because you assume theywon't be interested. Shouldn't they at least have the opportunityto hear you out and decide for themselves? (Photo:Shutterstock)

Many agents and advisors are hesitant approachingfriends for business. They rationalize theirreluctance as: "They work with someone else already" or "They knowwhat I do.  If they were interested, they wouldask."  Let's not forget "I don't want to risk to thefriendship."  That logic is often wrong.

The $10 bottle of wine

Let's look at the first of two examples. Suppose you are a winefan. Your friends are too. You discover this great bottle ofCabernet from California.  It tasted just like that fiftydollar bottle someone served at dinner. It was delicious! Would youtell your wine-loving friends about it?

The answer is, "Of course I would!"  The logic issimple: They would want to know. It would be a benefit to them, andthey would enjoy it.  I made a good find and I want toshare it with people I like.

Professionally speaking, you are that $10 bottle ofwine. You are prepared to do a great job for a total stranger andbuild a long term relationship. However, you aren't prepared tobring these same skills to your friend's doorstep, because youassume they won't be interested.

Shouldn't they at least have the opportunity to hear you out anddecide for themselves?

The world's smartest investor

This is a story I've been telling for a long time. The impliedobjection "I don't do business with friends" is often a deterrentthat stops us in our tracks. Let's look at it from a differentpoint of view.

Think hard — in your opinion, who is the smartest investor inthe world? Likely it's a household name with celebrity status. Now,suppose this well-known investor decided he would take on 250retail accounts. The minimum investment was modest, maybe $250,000. One person was hired to find those 250 people. That'syou.

Suppose this development was big news. It was reported on TV andin the newspapers. Now suppose you approached a friend and askedthem if they wanted to be one of these 250 people.  Do youthink they would say:  "I'll admit it's tempting. That'sthe smartest investor in the world. But I think I'll pass. You aremy friend and I don't do business with friends."

That's highly unlikely. They would likely jump at theopportunity. They would also insist you extended the same offer totheir family members too. They would remind you of yourlongstanding friendship. Guilt would play a part, as they wouldimply you had an obligation to let your friends in first, beforeopening it up to the general public.

Why might this happen? Because you have something they want. Ifyou look at the providers represented by your firm, especially inthe area of investments, you might not see the "smartest investorin the world," but you will probably see some other pretty smartmoney managers with name recognition, either under their own nameor their firms. This could provide the groundwork for making thesame type of approach to your friends, although you must considersuitability.

"I don't do business with friends" is an excuse that works bothways. That doesn't need to be the case.

Bryce Sanders is president of PerceptiveBusiness Solutions Inc. He provides HNW client acquisition trainingfor the financial services industry. His book, "Captivating the Wealthy Investor" can be foundon Amazon.

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