What an insane last few weeks it’s been. It’s hard making a steady living as a crafter, maker, artist on any given day – and nearly impossible in today’s economy. So, I’ve been doing the resume/CV thing to very little avail. It’s been good practice for putting my professional wardrobe in order, and practicing my interviewing skills. I’ve been so focused on attaining employment, that I’ve put my studio on hold for a few weeks.

Then to add one more thing shifting my attention away from my studio, my apartment flooded.

I’d been suffering a headache, and had gone to nap it off. I woke up to the sound of a waterfall. You know that disoriented just out of bed stumble? That was me, down the hall towards the sound of the water. Apparently my kitchen sink backed up, there was water pouring over the top of the sink and counters and about 2 inches or so of water on the floor. That was a very long night of a plumber, and emergency water remediation. The plumber said that it was the stack in the wall that was totally blocked, and that the plumbing from the units on the two floors above me affected this.

The flooding seeped through the wall into the main hall of my building, seeped through to my living room, and took out my dining area as well.

I had 5 days of fans blowers, humidifiers, and air purifiers running 24 hours a day. They’ve removed my laminate flooring in my dining area and living room, and the linoleum from the kitchen. I am down to cement floors while I wait for the replacements to be installed. I feel so scrambled over this that I haven’t been able to focus on anything creative.

I’m looking forward to sitting back down in the studio soon.

Make something beautiful everyday.

I am currently sitting here, working at taking some decent photos, and listing items on my Etsy shop (https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/CraftingAimee). All the while mulling over the word “courage.”

After, the events of the last few years, it seems a very appropriate word. Courage to live, courage to completely shatter, courage to start over after 50, courage, to create, to open myself up to possible praise…and criticism. All this pondering has me now thinking of a new project. Yes, that’s the way it goes for us creative types, always thinking in terms of creating, making, doing; ideas that need exploring. Possibly as a book, or in an art journal format.

Were you all curious what those tiny wire wrapped micro components would become?

Let me know some of the words that become an exploration for you in the comments.

I’ve been absent from everything, including my life.  This last 18 months have been some of the most difficult, challenging and heartbreaking.  In February of 2016, my mother informed me that she was certain that she had breast cancer, like her mother and sister. Neither of them survived their diagnoses, or subsequent treatments.  Fast forward 20 years, this left my mother feeling hopeless and frightened I imagine, as she also informed us that she wasn’t going to get medical intervention.  We lived with this ticking timebomb, watching, waiting, as death crept in, and finally claimed her a few days before her 70th, birthday.   So many emotions overwhelmed me, my father, and my brother..the prevailing one being anger.  Anger at her for giving up.  Anger at her for not fighting.  Anger at her for choosing an agonising death.  Anger at her for leaving us.  We are all so scarred from this, everyday we miss her, we feel the emptiness, and for all of us there is an anger mixed into all this grief.

In the midst of this, my marriage finally concluded.  It was nearly 20 years of emotional, verbal, and eventually even physical abuse.  20 years, done. Concluded through the courts. However, it’s still not done, as he’s not actually paid me out, and is living on the other side of the world now, so I’m in a sort of limbo.

I’m also preparing for a major move.   I’m looking forward this move, living out of boxes seems to compound all of these feelings and emotions.

In all of this I found myself retreating, farther and farther away from anything resembling  life. I am still struggling from day to day, healing my grief, healing my heart, healing my self.

Creativity, has really been a very welcomed friend to escape into, and explore some feelings, and cradle my heart from time.  As I’ve been putting the peices back together, I rememberd that I’ve got a blog, and I should probably get back to posting.  Please bear with me as I try and get and get back on track here.  I’ve got a few things to share…