In This Week's Issue:
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o The Dime Lady Speaks
o The Skinny
o A Game Of Love
o Good News!
o Sick Of It
o Chocolate Letters
o Credits
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Of course, now that I've complained about those stupid Sprint commercials, I haven't seen any since. Well, at least not the one in the diner where I'm trying to figure out what she says. I've heard many answers, but the ones that seem most plausible are "How observant" and "How's your..." before she's interrupted. Seeing as how I haven't seen it since I was given these suggestions, but I vividly recall hollering the sound "HOWSZHER?!" over and over at the telly, I'm gonna vote for the interrupting theory. There's quite a few of you who guessed that, so I'll go through all my mail and ask for your addresses. No, not so I can stalk you. So I can send you a patch. Awww.
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About the horoscopes, which I get gripes about when they're not included: I've decided to do like a magazine thing, and do them once a month, in the first issue of the month. You guys don't know how draining it is to rip those horoscopes from my soul and bear them to you, the gentle reader. So now you know when to expect them. Don't worry, I'll cover the *whole month* for ya. You'll know whether you should buy plain or blueberry frozen waffles.
Yoyo Central is a big hit! In case you have no idea what I'm talking about, it's our newest game, and it's Internet-wide and free for everyone to play. Every week you get trivia in your e-mail, and every week there's a winner who gets fame, notoriety, a genuine Yoyodyne T-shirt, and possible stalkers. (Well, okay, not stalkers. You'll have to get those on your own.) You can register for Yoyo Central by sending e-mail to central@yoyo.com. And you should. My kitties say so. They know.
Here's a little general Yoyodyne info, for those of you who were wondering: Our company was founded approximately two years ago, out of the notion that e-mail is fast becoming the telephone of the late 20th century. Not only that, but the Internet has lots of room for new mediums, including the ever-popular game show. Seth, our president, thought that if you could run games over e-mail, award neat prizes, and bring in great sponsors, there would be a fun thing for people to participate in that's simple, easy, and non- exclusive (meaning like you don't have to audition or anything).
Two years later, we're the leaders in interactive online games. There's no other company that we know of that does what we do. We've got fantastic sponsors, fun games, and super prizes. And as far as we're concerned, this is only the beginning! Yee-haw!
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Now, about Get a Little Closer Too... This is the second in a series of games sponsored by ArridXX. The game incorporates the results of a love survey we conducted and romantic movie trivia. It started February 13 and is in its third round. The first Get a Little Closer game was our most popular Yoyodyne game ever. To see the previous questions and the leaders, check out our Web site at www.yoyo.com/arrid. To register for Get a Little Closer Too (the sequel), send e-mail to arrid@yoyo.com.
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Following Oprah's lead (the way she has whole episodes dedicated only to good news), I've decided to start a similar column. So here's the good stuff:
Seth, our loyal president, had his baby boy! Well, really, his wife Helene had the baby, but he helped as much as he could. They named him Max Otis Godin. Isn't that a great name? I haven't seen Seth yet to tell him congratulations, but I am so happy for him. I don't think there can be too many things more thrilling or important than bringing a child into the world. Wow.
Oh, this news made my day: Matthew Perry broke up with Julia Roberts! I know that doesn't sound like good news, but it really is. Don't think me sick, reveling in other people's pain, but I have this THING about Julia Roberts, and I have this thing FOR Matthew Perry, so it couldn't have been a worse coupling for me. What a relief to see that my Matty came to his senses. And that it wasn't the other way around. Whew.
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It's not that I'm on a rampage or anything, but there's some things you can only take so much of, you know? Like, for instance, pictures of the cast of "Friends" on every single magazine. I just saw Jennifer Aniston's tush on the cover of Rolling Stone. Sure, some of you may think that's just fine, but me, I think I was content not knowing what her tushy looks like. I think I could have lived a good life without that information.
It's not that I don't like the cast of Friends. I am a big fan. I think they're a terrific group of actors. But, like Cindy Crawford, there is a point where you say, "OKAAAAY... You're good looking and popular! I GET IT ALREADY." Sigh.
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I too have basically given up drinking "hot chocolate" because the commercially available stuff is garbage: all corn syrup and fake flavorings.
Your best recourse is to make your own. Start with Mexican or Puerto Rican hard chocolate. Shave or grate it into a cup and microwave it until it melts. Heat whole milk (not reduced fat milk and not anything heavier than whole milk like coffee or whipping cream). Don't bother combining the melted chocolate with heated milk on top of the stove. When the milk is just slightly scalded, pour it into a blender and add the chocolate on top. At this point, add something sweet since,the chocolate is typically unsweetened itself. Obviously, plain sugar is the easiest, but I have used honey and raw brown sugar as well. You need to experiment here to get the amount of sweetness you prefer. You can mess around from here adding cinnamon or almond flavoring, etc. Blend the whole thing for about 20 seconds. Drink immediately and don't share with the others who didn't help with the preparation.
Also, make sure the bottom of the blender is screwed on tight. I missed this step once which led to a whole-kitchen cleanup.
The real secret to the above is to use the right chocolate. Mexican is best: they invented this stuff along with ripping the hearts out of living enemies (perhaps they were at war with General Foods).
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Wendy,
It has come to my attention that by simply suggesting that you should be in the credits of your newsletter you are automatically included. Is there some Mulderism that has you caught in it's headlights like so many deer that makes you put complete strangers name at the bottom of your work. Can you ignore the pleas of gen X slackers who attempt to ride your proverbial coat tails all the way to their Warholesque 15 minutes. I for one would like to see you stand up and take pride for your work and not let anyone else mooch of you. If you ignore this letter can I be the guy would did nothing in the credits of the next newsletter.
Yours very tongue in cheekily,
Jeff Fahie (not The Marshall)
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Hi Kids,
As former owner/operator of a wholesale chocolate business called "Sweet Dreams", I feel somewhat qualified to give you my review of a bit of heaven called "Chocolate Soup". This concoction is available each and every day at a charming little breakfast/lunch shop called "The Bagel and Chocolate Soup Company", located in Kirkland, Washington (across the lake from Seattle). The soup is rich and velvety, with a mouth feel to die for. It's guaranteed to awaken your taste buds and transport you to another, gentler place in time. If you are ever (even remotely) in the area, this is a must for those true chocoholics among you. I'm heading east in April, and if I find myself in NYC I will most definitely give City Bakery a try!
Terry Smith
Kirkland, WA
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>TAURUS: You are completely capable of changing your
>circumstances to your degree of comfort. If only you had
>control over the heat in the office.
Wendy:
Are you lurking in my office? :)
Leslie
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Wendy -
I have to tell you that I normally find your horoscopes mere
entertainment, and I don't really believe in or rely on
them. But that last one for Libra was so powerful! Well, not
the part about recording contracts, although I have always
dreamed of being a professional artist. But the deciding
part is exactly what I have been going through lately! And I
have taken the advice and decided what is the motivating
factor in my decision. Do you have ESP or something?
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From: Kawatts@eworld.com
hey, send that Travis kid a patch, will ya? he's admitted
he's a pathetic 8th grader (unless he's 37 and that's some
kind of depraved cyber-ploy to get your sympathy and get a
patch). you know what would be a good experiment? remember
how when the light of being sort of grown up began to dawn
on you and all of these horrible moments of junior high and
high school began to take on new meaning and you began to
formulate your real (in retrospect) response to stuff that
happened to you or stuff that people said to you that was
so, well, so painful at the time. how about we adopt this
8th grader and coach him through the next five years? give
him the benefit of all of that powerful hindsight? save him
from a bunch of wedgies? it's just an idea, but in the
interest of behavioral science and harnessing the power of
those pubescent hormones....it's just an idea.
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Dear Wendy:
I'm interested in becoming a member of the Yoyonews
Fan Club. Whether you were serious about Mike Ewing being
the President or not, it's a very serious issue and you
shouldn't tease about things like that. I think that once
the club got rolling, there could be hundreds of thousands
of fans! (And maybe every member could receive a free
patch...)
While I'm writing you, I might as well tell you about
a little complaint I have. Originally, when you posted
letters from people in your newsletters, you would include
their address. I think that addresses are very useful
things, so that you can give input to people who you think
need it, or to compliment people for great ideas. Who
knows? Maybe you find someone who you fall in love with
from just reading their letter, and you'll never know how to
reach them. I sincerely wish that you start posting
people's e-mail addresses again.
Wendy, I hope you seriously consider both of these
ideas. You write a great newsletter--I'm jealous!
Sincerely,
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Wendy --
Your description of a what sounds like an altogether decent
cup of hot chocolate teased the senses. You let us know how
rich it appears, you tell us that it floats a home-made
marshmallow, and then you dig in.... With A Plastic Spoon!!!
Ack, Wendy, Ack!
Plastic spoons are fine for springing bits of vegetables
across a crowded lunchroom (see story below), but really
must take the s,h,r,p,i and n out of shlurping.
Story: I taught at a high school in Hale, Michigan. The
Principal loved the salad bar that he mandated for the
lunchroom. Unfortunately, this Principal had an unusually
large head, which made for an extraordinarily easy target.
Whatever little bits were served would eventually find their
way toward the back of his head. In retaliation, the
Principal would ban whatever item he was hit with from ever
appearing on the lunchroom salad bar. By the end of the
second week, all that was left was lettuce. Large
unpropellant leaves of lettuce.
Cheers,
Yoyodyne President, Newly Crowned Double-Dad: Seth Godin
Editor and Writer of the Yoyodyne Entertainment News: Wendy
Hall
Copyeditor of the Yoyodyne Entertainment News: Jennifer
Konig
President of the Yoyonews Fan Club: Mike Ewing
Consulting Entomologist: Dan Oppenheimer
Yoyodyne Entertainment News is published every Friday. To
subscribe (it's FREE!) send e-mail to yoyonews@yoyo.com.
Send love letters to editor@yoyo.com.
To get more information on Yoyodyne or to find out about
the spiffy games we're currently running, you can send
e-mail to win@yoyo.com and/or newsfaq@yoyo.com.
If for any reason you would like to cancel your
subscription to Yoyodyne Entertainment News, send e-mail to
newsquit@yoyo.com.
No more hidden question! You must cope! (Me, taking the
hard line.)
Actually, when my company moved to new offices in August, I
sat right next to the thermostat. I had this *scheme* to
charge $ for "adjustments".
Taurus born 5/19/62
That's my birthday too! - wendy
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You thought I was faking? Would I do such a thing? - wendy
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To: editor
I sent him a patch! And that's a GREAT idea. Wonder if
he'd be our willing guinea pig... - wendy
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GRowlee@aol.com
In accordance with your request, I have posted your
e-mail address. - wendy
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Jim Stedman, Marquette, Michigan
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Credits!
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