NHL suspends Evander Kane for 21 games

After years of allegations of sexual assault, he finally gets punished — for faking a vaccine card

Evander Kane issued a boilerplate apology.
Evander Kane issued a boilerplate apology.
Image: Getty Images

Speaking of assholes getting the heave-ho, Evander Kane got suspended by the NHL for 21 games for faking a vaccination card and violating COVID protocols the league had set up. We knew the league wasn’t fucking around when it came to this kind of thing, and this kind of suspension proves it.

Still, it’s a little hard to take Kane getting suspended for this for a quarter of the season, and yet got nothing after multiple accusations and lawsuits of sexual assault. The league just stuck its head in the sand then and wished it would all blow over. Which it frustratingly almost always does. The league’s statement says allegations of domestic violence by his estranged wife, Deanna, could not be substantiated.

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This is where those in the mainstream will say something like, “Trouble follows Kane everywhere,” as if it’s just something he’s plagued by, like bad skin. Kane courts this, just like he courted his teammates hating his guts in Winnipeg or his now ex-wife airing out his gambling debts in public that the league couldn’t confirm (or didn’t want to). He’s been a shitstain on the league for years now, and this is what it took for him to finally be removed from it.

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Kane released the normal boilerplate bullshit that you get from a player who gets suspended, except as if it was for some bad hit or pushing an official. This wasn’t just a “mistake.” This doesn’t require “counseling.” This was skirting a rule to try and get the easier work environment simply because he’s too dumb or selfish or both to get a shot. And this is a player who’s had just about the best medical advice available to him for years as a professional athlete.

The NHL is a better place without Kane, and would have been back when he was accused of much worse stuff than this. Better late than never, I suppose.