Last night after a very long evening, I sank into bed, said some tender good nights to my husband, closed my eyes and dropped into the core of who I am. This feels like going into the heart area of my body. My heart seems to be like a doorway to this deeper place inside that feels like home.
Moi?
I’ve searched for this nameless place most of my life and have also pretty much ignored it. It seemed like just me. And that seemed like the least likely place to find what I was looking for. I wanted something more magnificent, more ecstatic, more whole, and thoroughly complete. And I searched for it outside of myself—for so many years.
The Me Place
It’s been a long road of return to the core of me. And along the way something profound has been illuminated. This me place is like a room that feels like home. There is nothing in the room—no stuff, no objects. It is empty and at the same time, so full of existence and awareness. And more importantly it is the precious place where I can truly land. It is where I feel both my human existence and also the massive, open, light-filled door to another place that’s so far beyond me. A place where I am released into an ecstatic freedom, joy and love that is beyond words.
Home Base
The me place is where I go when I need to pull in, after outward activity. It is also the place I need emerge from as I extend outward after a period of intense inward activity. It is my home base. It is there when I need the comfort of home and also when I need to expand beyond the confines of home. It is precious, just as my existence is precious. And when I honor my home base, and visit it frequently, somehow I am blessed with more of what my heart desires.