My grandfather died a few years ago. I was devastated to lose him. He was hugely influential and impactful in my life. He is a big reason I am who I am today. He is my family.
When I talk about him to people I am met with smiles. They don’t need to have known him personally or to have met him. They can see how much I love him and they welcome hearing about him. My family and I have “Max Day” where every year on his birthday we do something he would have loved. We visit places that make us think of him. We listen to music he liked. I visit his grave occasionally but usually I visit him in my heart or as I stare out at a sunset.
People allow me to share my love for him this way.
My daughter died a couple years ago. I was devastated to lose her. My baby girl was hugely influential and impactful in my life. She is a big reason I am who I am today. She is my family.
When I talk about her to people I am often met with awkward silence. They don’t understand how I can love her so much since she passed away during labor. They don’t see how I knew her. They don’t welcome hearing about her. They are clouded by their fear and discomfort with their own mortality. My family and I celebrate Aisley often. Every year on her birthday we do something special for her or hold fundraisers to raise money for the infant loss nonprofit I volunteer for. We visit places that make us think of her. We listen to music she liked. I kiss her urn in my room occasionally but usually I visit her in my heart or as I stare out at a sunset.
Most people don’t allow me to share my love for her this way.
I will never stop loving my family in life or in death. I will celebrate my daughter just as I celebrate my grandfather. It is my hope to have an impact on the way society reacts to the death of a baby. One day they may offer continued support to the families and see love more than grief. One day we will accept that we all die rather than fear it. One day saying my daughter’s name will be met with smiles.
{Your Thoughts}