When It Feels Like God Has Turned His Back On You
God made us with a built in need for connection and relationships. But we all have times when we feel all alone. If you’ve ever showed up to a party early and there was no one there that you knew, you know that feeling.
Things like the death of a loved one, a divorce, failing health, financial issues, marriage problems, parenting problems or being the subject of gossip — all lead to distress and can lead to feelings of loneliness.
Even positive things like getting a new job, moving to a new neighborhood, having a new baby, or joining a new Bible Study can make us vulnerable to feelings of loneliness.
No matter how many friends you may have or how many good things are happening externally in your life, loneliness is an internal feeling. And when loneliness settles in, we can feel confused and like God has turned his back on us.
Today we are going to take an in-depth look at Psalm 25:16-21. David was feeling lonely and so he said:
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
David said to God “Turn to me“. David is not only feeling lonely and afflicted but he feels like God has turned his back on him. It doesn’t get any worse than feeling like God has looked away and so he pleas with the Lord to turn toward him and be gracious to him.
Then David says:
17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
bring me out of my distresses.
Sometimes when we get an injury, the area that is injured swells.
Have you ever had an emotional injury to your heart? I think we all have! It probably felt like your heart was swollen. And when your heart is swollen it hurts! It needs to be treated with tender loving care until it heals.
David’s heart was hurting and so he cried out to God to bring him out of his distress.
David said to God:
18 Consider my affliction and my trouble,
and forgive all my sins.
It’s interesting to note here that David is not complaining about his troubles, he is simply asking over and over for God to please look at them – turn toward him – he wants to be seen. Just a look from God would be enough.
But then David gets to the root of the some of his troubles –sin. Sin that is not forgiven can be more painful than the troubles we face . At times, there is a close connection between our sorrows and our sins, and in the midst of trials, we may be tempted to do things that are not good and right. And so David humbles himself and repents.
Repentance is so good for our swollen hearts.
So let me pause and ask…is there anything you need to repent of? Take a moment to reflect and do that.
After David repents he then says:
19 Consider how many are my foes,
and with what violent hatred they hate me.
Again – David is saying – please look God! I have a ton of enemies.
Have you ever felt like you were outnumbered in a bad situation?
David did not just have one person he was fearful of, he said he had many foes and his foes hated him with a violent hatred.
So we add to David’s loneliness, affliction, swollen heart, distress, sins and troubles – enemies. Do you have an enemy?
Sometimes our enemies are obvious and they are aggressive but other times they are sneaky and are working harmful things against us, behind out back.
Jesus said in Matthew 5:43-48:
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
What our enemies choose to do is out of our hands. Their hatred is from the devil but Jesus calls us to love our enemies. Love is always more powerful than hate because hate is destructive and leads to death but love is life giving to both the person giving the love and the enemy.
But even as we love our enemies – it is good and right that we cry out to God for refuge and deliverance from their hands. David writes:
20 Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me!
Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.
David begs God to come through so that he would not be put to shame or ridiculed. He knew his enemies would love to see David and his God look weak and so he wanted so badly for God to deliver him.
But God had not done that yet…
So David concludes:
21 May integrity and uprightness preserve me,
for I wait for you.
Rather than retaliating and getting revenge on his enemies, David waits on God.
As he waits, he says there are two things that would be his preservation:
- Integrity
- Uprightness
Are you waiting on the Lord?
May these two attributes be lived out in our lives as we wait on God to answer our prayers.
Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.
Uprightness is the quality of being honorable and honest.
These two qualities are safeguards. They protect us from needless harm. When we retaliate against an offense, we can end up in a worse spot than when we began. When we are honest and act honorably, we avoid much trouble.
Do you feel like God has turned his back on you today?
He has not!
God does see.
He has not turned his back on you.
It can be tempting to trust God in the good times and then when bad times come feel that he has abandoned us.
This reminds me of Habakkuk’s prayer in Habakkuk 3. Look at it below:
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
19 God, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer’s;
he makes me tread on my high places.
Even though nothing was going right for Habakkuk – his crop, vines, fields and herds had failed him – he rejoiced in the Lord. He did not ignore his problems but he knew God was greater than the things he had lost and so he chose to praise God.
Do you need strength today for the trials you are facing?
If your strength is in your achievements, money, or relationships –they will fail you. Follow the example of David and Habakkuk and cry out to God. Tell him your feelings – list your troubles for him – – tell him all about it!
Know that God hears you and is your refuge and strength. Wait on the Lord and as you wait, live with integrity and uprightness and do the next right thing.
God loves you.
Walk with the King,
Thank you so much for this message. It has stirred me up from inside. I have been feeling that loneliness for a while now but I now see that it is something many experience. God is still in control no matter what is happeninh.
Thanks for the word today. I am really enjoying this study… too much to think and meditate about it. The word of God amazes all the time!
Trust in God and wait for him , sometimes it i s very difficult and I only pray to God that he always remind me that he knows what is better for me and my family , and he is always in control.
Thank you so much!!! I needed this!!! Sometimes as followers we put our burdens in the Lords hands so He can resolve them but for some reason we think He needs our help and when we see that nothing changes we grow impatient and want to jump in after we have already given our problems to Him. I know I have to work on my complete trust in the Lord….Am a work in progress….???????????? God bless
I’m behind in my study but God is right on time!
I sat down today to catch up and my heart is grateful that God knows just what I need when I need it. After a chaotic week of managing my household of 6 plus an extra little one, I was feeling a little lonely and maybe dejected. No one has really done anything intentionally hurtful but sometimes during the hustle and bustle, someone might say a short word or you feel left out of a group or just a sense of loneliness tries to take over. That was me this morning.
I am blessed beyond measure but sometimes that feeling tries to come in. Today, I stopped my chores and headed to “catch up” on my Bible studies. I read this post before getting started and my heart is touched that God knew what I needed when I needed it. If I weren’t behind, this post might not have reached so deep into my heart.
Thank you Lord for caring for me!
Thank you Courtney for walking with the King.
Thank you for this post. I am an insurance agent who lives by the rules of integrity and honesty. I have several of my insurance family that are going thru some difficult way-over-and-beyond troubles. I have been searching for the right words to use to encourage them in this is perfect. His word is always right on time! thank you so much for giving of yourself and your time to us. I look forward to meeting you in One Day in heaven.
What nonsense. When you are sitting safe in your home around family that love you, when you are able to go to a “party” and feel alone, when you are “blessed beyond measure” please tell me how loneliness fits into this picture? Please tell me more about these so-called trials that your readers are going through. Please tell me about these “feelings” that people feel when they are in a good position and what they think is a trial is not a trial at all but flights of imagined fancy that are trivial at best. When you have lost your home, your only child dies, your grandchildren that you raised from birth are taken away from you, when you have no family who cares about you now or in the past except for what they could get from you, no job, no husband, when you fast to achieve health and become sicker as a result of stress from ignorant “family” members who have never done an ounce of research in their lives, when people steal from you, when your own mother who you haven’t spoken to in YEARS tries to have you placed in a mental institution, when you move out of a “relative” home and they refuse to allow you to remove your things from their house, slander and steal from you, when you have NO PLACE TO LIVE and are at the mercy of reprobates and have to listen to their cursing and evil speaking and sin, THEN , when you beg for an answer from God and you hear NOTHING then tell me about the love of God and how He has not turned his back on you. When every door is CLOSED and no one will even HELP YOU, WHEN YOU CAN’T EVEN BUY FOOD, when you look for a job just to pay your bills and eat AND you CANNOT FIND ONE, WHEN YOU HAVE HEART PALPITATIONS AND SHORTNESS OF BREATH and people who dare call themselves family call you retarded and LAZY when you can barely breathe, when you CONTINUE TO DO GOOD TO THEM and they only get more emboldened in their wickedness and you have a HEAVENLY FATHER who knows what you are going through and you pray and BEG and He turns from you THEN YOU CAN TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT THE LOVE OF GOD. WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH ALL THESE THINGS, when you have gone through such a trial as by FIRE then maybe someone like me can hear you. But until then, you are just another blogger who knows nothing about God and nothing about trials. People in this world are going through REAL TRIBULATION while you sit here talking about feeling alone at a party…..A PARTY and comparing it to David’s struggles as though there is some comparison. While some housewife has a home to live in and a husband to pay the bills and feels dejected because of one stupid word someone spoke when in reality she should be so busy with a household of six “plus a new edition” that she would not have time to heed nonsense.
In response to the last comment, the person who feels as if they’ve lost all. That is when JESUS carries us. Remember the anonymous poem, FOOTPRINTS?.
Please don’t lose faith and don’t lose hope in the Lord, he is real. Love to all, in Jesus Name
Thank you RasT for your kind words. The Lord has brought me back to my senses.
Dear Dani,
I’m sorry for all of the pain and sorrow that you have faced. I hope you will turn to a local church and find help there. You should never be without food or shelter and I believe that any local church you turn to would help you with that. Also, they may provide some counseling for you to help you through your family rifts and the grieving of your losses. You must get help. Until you find a church to help you, I encourage you to call the counselors at Focus on the Family – they are free and this is their number: 1-800-A Family (232-6459) They are available from 6am-8pm.
I’m sorry that my post mentioned trivial struggles in the midst of more serious ones and kind of watered down the message. The second paragraph reads like this:
“Things like the death of a loved one, a divorce, failing health, financial issues, marriage problems, parenting problems or being the subject of gossip — all lead to distress and can lead to feelings of loneliness.”
These are all serious struggles that are not trivial. You fall into all of these categories and I have struggled with most of these as well.
I lost a close friend unexpectedly in a house fire about 18 months ago and I wrote about it here: https://womenlivingwell.org/2017/03/loving-memory-mandy-kelly/ and My husband left me 2 1/2 years ago and I am now a single mom and I wrote about that in these posts here (scroll down to get to the first one) : https://womenlivingwell.org/category/divorce/
I share those posts just so that you can get to know me the writer and what I am currently going through. I have many more hardships than I’ll ever be free to write about here but I think that will at least give you some context.
I hope you will be comforted to know that most of us here reading today have suffered many painful trials. I hear from my readers all the time who are facing terribly tragic hardships – so you not alone and our God does not remove our trials but he promises to not leave us or forsake us.
It sounds like you have some very difficult people around you. I encourage you to not turn to the people around you for help. They are not safe people. But rather get into the Word of God and read and read and read and pray and pray and pray and obey. And then go find a good Bible teaching church and become a part of their family there– serving and loving and fellowshipping. I hope you will find a home there. God is with you and he loves you.
Lots of Love,
Courtney
Thanks so much Courtney for your testimony, and yes it does help the reader to know that you are speaking from experience. I love you and I just joined the group and I’m excited and look forward to the discussions every morning.
I too am going thru a rough time, Health issues, unemployment, food crisis and rent, however I am plodding on to Zion ????. I know GOD got this!!
Peace and Blessings, RasT
Dear Courtney,
My apologies to you and to your readers. I had no right to belittle their struggles or to trivialize their feelings; loneliness is real and had I not been so so self-absorbed yesterday morning I might have THOUGHT before I wrote and avoided this shamefully emotional outburst.
I have finally come to a point in my life where I have asked the Lord to do whatever it takes to bring me closer to Him. Yet when He did the very thing I asked Him to do I rebelled! Imagine that! Asking Him to do what it takes and then rebelling against what He does! I just sat too long listening to the lies of the devil and took my anger and frustration out on you and for that I am truly sorry.
The Lord Jesus Christ suffered things I will never suffer in order to redeem His chosen ones. He was betrayed by Judas…one who ate bread from His hand and sat under His teaching and yet allowed the devil to seduce him with 30 pieces of silver. If not for Judas betrayal, the Lord may not have been crucified, there would be no salvation, no resurrection.
No one could be saved.
Through it all Jesus remained faithful and obedient to His Father unto death. He did not murmer or complain. He did that which pleased His Father and I am grateful to be a recipient of His love.
This is MY Judas.
I have learned from the Lord that nothing in the life of His true servants is accidental. The probelem is not my relatives – they are without Christ in the world. The problem was MY ATTITUDE. The problem was my walking by SIGHT and not by FAITH. The problem was a situation of temporary unbelief…for I know that “ALL THINGS work together for those who love Christ Jesus and are the called according to HIS purpose”. The problem was me looking at the temporal rather than keeping my eyes on HIM.
I thank you for your kind words and hope you can forgive my harsh ones. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your friend – I know what that feels like and I am sorry for the dissolution of your marriage. I have never been married but I do know what it is like to be a single parent and I can imagine the heartbreak that comes not only to a wife but to the children when a marriage falls apart. I do hope that the Lord will bless you with His wisdom and knowledge and pray that the conditions will come that will allow you and 0your husband to work things out in the Lord for His glory and your blessing.
I will not be calling Focus on the Family but will continue to read the bible, pray in faith and stay close to my God. I know that He will work everything out in His time and in His way and will provide all that I need. I will continue to do good to my enemies and pray for them that despitefully use and persecute me. I know that as long as I do His will He will keep me safe from harm (as he has always done).
Again, my apologies.
Dani, All I can say is WOW, you are a very strong Blessed Warrior!!!. I love you and that is real talk. You taught me something too, about so called FAMILY members, leave them to GOD. Stay encouraged on your path, we are gonna make it, Abundant Favor, In Jesus Name!!!!????????
I agree with you! How about turning to go’s for 15 years and nothing changes. That is loneliness. Jesus also his himself from people who were attaching him. People have no idea what trials and loneliness are. You all have no idea! Money can create a nice fantasy of detachment and fake connection.
Oh my goodness…I just read the comments and needed to hear ALL of it!! Thank you all for your transparency. What amazing grace and genuine love you showed to each other. This wasn’t just another post just like every other site. Thank you!!!
I know he has turned against me.Husband left me daughter left her two children withme one is autuistc the other gets into trouble everyday at school my two sons will not get jobs all people close to me have passed the more i pray the worse it gets i no longer pray i was a caregiver for 11 years i now clean houses if i were not afraid of hell i would end it
Hi Alice. I’ve read these post as well, and i just came across this one and i wanna say I’m sorry for what your going through. I also am struggling with the notion of God leaving me and not answering my prayers. It hurts. It hurts so badly. From what I know about God and getting prayers answered, sometimes, it gets worse due to whats fighting against you. Faith and feelings are not always the best of friends. I recently was praying for my spouse and i to get back together. And we’ve came close a few times, but wrong feelings got back in the way and the blame game came into the picture again and it went south. So rather than me praying for God to bring us back together, I think i need to pray for God to put in place the right circumstances, right situation, right information, for my ex spouse to see for themselves. To see that it is NEVER one persons fault. To see that we can get us back and be reconciled, and assimilate better thinking and better ways of communicating and handling things than before. For example, just because your spouse says something hurtful, or demeaning, or wrong to you…doesn’t mean that you have to respond in like fashion. When that happens, your BOTH wrong.
Most times, people wanna point the finger at one person. Its NEVER one persons fault a lot of times. Its also why traditional counselling doesn’t always work. Counselling tells you to focus on the problems. But when you do that, it just makes you feel worse. And you fight more. What needs to happen is putting the problems aside, and spending more time and energy focusing on building and establishing new ways of bringing positive energy into the relationship. And building good will with each other. When you do that, the issues you have with each other, will eventually start to fade
Sometimes it takes a while. Sometimes it takes a lot of patience and waiting. Its so hard, I know. And sometimes you wanna be mad at God for not seeming to help. And please, don’t buy into the saying that God won’t override free will. I almost fell for that too, until i started reading the bible for myself, and seeing that God overrides peoples free will more than we realize….its HOW he does it that people don’t see. I’ve even heard preachers teach this about God won’t override free will. Its not that cut and dry
So I will encourage you to keep praying but change what you pray for. If you want your husband back, and your sincere about it, then ask God to change you inside. Ask God to work in you, and work in your husband. Ask God to soften your husband’s heart, and forgive you if there is something that you’ve done or said to your husband that wasn’t right and to forgive him too if he did the same.
I also wanna say a prayer for your daughter and those children and that God brings you what you need to turn things around for you. Please don’t give up