Politico has a piece by a former Chicago TSA screener. We learn what his day to day experiences were like, and what he thought of the job he was doing.
And we get these gems:
TSA Speak: “Code red” is “an attractive female passenger wearing red.” “Alfalfa” is “an attractive female passenger.” “Fanny Pack, Lane 2” means there’s “an attractive female passenger” “Xray Xray Xray!” means.. “an attractive female passenger” and “Yellow Alert” is code for… “attractive female passenger, yellow clothing.”
On Profiling:
Until 2010 (not long after the TSA standard operating procedure manual was accidentially leaked to the public), all TSA officers worked with a secret list printed on small slips of paper that many of us taped to the back of our TSA badges for easy reference: the Selectee Passport List. It consisted of 12 nations that automatically triggered enhanced passenger screening.…The selectee list was purely political, of course, with diplomacy playing its role as always: There was no Saudi Arabia or Pakistan on a list of states historically known to harbor, aid and abet terrorists.
On the liquid ban:
Once, in 2008, I had to confiscate a bottle of alcohol from a group of Marines coming home from Afghanistan. It was celebration champagne intended for one of the men in the group—a young, decorated soldier. He was in a wheelchair, both legs lost to an I.E.D., and it fell to me to tell this kid who would never walk again that his homecoming champagne had to be taken away in the name of national security.
As they say, a few bad apples who in no way undermine the hard work that thousands of men and women at the TSA do to keep us safe, day in and day out.
(HT: L.A. Airspace)
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But… but… but Gary, without the government, who will prevent planes blowing up in mid air? Who will build the roads!!!?
Here we go. Mr. Security Expert. (rolleyes)
@mark – are you referring to the screener who wrote the article?
I’m sure @mark is referring to the fact that these sorts of things NEVER go on at private companies. Never once in the history of America has a private company had a problem with its security efforts. They are all beacons of virtue and efficiency, which is why Target/Neiman Marcus/Michaels has never had a breach of millions of credit card numbers. Therefore, guvrmnt bad! Or whatever your usual line is, Gary.
Yeah I saw this article this morning – crazy stuff…
Gary, you are a lowly travel blogger, mindlessly regurgitating stuff from FT. Stick to it. That’s your core competence. Trying to be an analyst is a little above your intellectual caliber.
I don’t mean this to be condescending, but Gary, did you read all four pages? There’s a lot more good stuff there, but all the stuff you referenced in the above post is just from the first page.
And if a private company handled airport security, then pointing out attractive females wouldn’t happen?
I really don’t understand some of your anti tsa posts…
@Jay – I think his point is that no matter who runs it, airport security is just tax-payer funded theater. Pre-9/11 security screening plus solid doors to the pilot cabin provide the same realistic amount of security we have now, without the expenditures and loss of freedom/dignity that we have in our current system.
@Jay – +1!
@Antonio
+1
But much of the expenditures and loss of freedom is a feature and not a bug to the bureaucrats.
The crony “capitalists” that sell the useless machines for millions of dollars a piece, turn around and donate to the campaigns of the politicians who gave them the contracts. The TSA workers pay union dues, and the union donates to the politicians who pass bills requiring more unionized government workers. People with no real skills or abilities get paid thousands of $ per year to “supervise” the workers who do so little to actually protect us.
The loss of freedom and dignity is useful as it reminds ordinary people that they are no longer free citizens, but now victims of an overbearing state.
Other than that, everythings fine. 😉
@Antonio – lots there, idea is that it’s worth reading more
@Genius – clearly I’m not a Genius like you!
DOT estimates there are 2 million USA airline passengers per day, each interacting with the TSA, some more than once. (Of course it’s the government, so who knows what the truth is).
I am stunned to learn that one or more of those encounters resulted in a tawdry, sexual allusion.
Keep digging, Gary. I’m betting this goes up into dozens of TSA workers who often think about attractive women on the job.
@Julian – No one said private industry is perfect. It’s that when you ineptitude and inefficiency of public versus enterprise, it’s far more common in the former. In the particular case of the TSA, the entire enterprise is not only a violation of civil liberties, but is not making us safer in the least, which is its entire purpose. Plus, the TSA is fun to ridicule!
The TSA at LAX is counting how many people opt out per hour per day and keeping score on a tally sheet.This may be the case at all airports.
I’m sick of this TSA clown show Bravo Sierra.
I opt out every time,thereby casting my vote for this elaborate practical joke to end.
Thank you Gary for these updates in your blog.
I’m curious – I’ve been reading a long time, and while you poke away at the TSA and policies near constantly, you’ve never offered any sort of actual solution. What precisely is your solution? No screening at all? Private company screening? And if private company, why exactly do you think this specific scenario wouldn’t occur there?
@Ray – actually I’ve written about preferred approaches. The biggest differences post-9/11 are reinforced cockpit doors and a passenger mindset that rushes any potential threat, because the assumption is no longer that staying docile will resolve the situation peacefully.
@Gary – All very interesting and I’ll throw my 2 cents in. TSA screening does essentially nothing. All it assures is that the name on the ticket matches some form of ID, but even that is problematic.
Generally when I travel it appears to me that many of the TSA screeners at the podium (where they check your tickets and IDs) have trouble with language (English or otherwise.)
Too often, I have seen them check the spelling on my driver’s license letter-by-letter against my ticket, even to the point of subverbally spelling it out. (But maybe I’ve just been unlucky to mostly get the semi-literates.)
To that point, although I’m not sure how old this information is, the latest I could find on TSA screener qualifications is below. Especially note the second item with the big “OR”, which essentially says “No education required”:
Proof of U.S. citizenship
High school diploma, GED or equivalent; OR
At least one year of full-time work experience in security work or aviation screener work; or with x-ray technician work.
And finally, now with almost anyone getting Pre-check approval, what’s the point of a screener and X-ray machine anyhow?
I’m distrustful of large entities, whether public or private, that by nature expend on resources on self-preservation and expansion.
There would be at least one advantage if the TSA reverted to private security: If the TSA had been a private contractor, it would have lost the contract by now.