Brewers fans, if you had to pick one, whom do you despise more? Cardinals or Cubs?

JR Radcliffe
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Brewers catcher Jett Bandy tags out Chicago Cubs second baseman Tommy La Stella trying to score in the fifth inning.

The St. Louis Cardinals head into town for a four-game set at Miller Park, starting Thursday. The Cards won't bring the same volume of visiting fans into the stadium as the recently departed Chicago Cubs did, but there's sure to be an ardent mass wearing red.

Allow yourself a step back to answer the question of which is worse -- Cubs or Cardinals. Yes, the Cubs invasion probably ranks near the top of the list of Milwaukee anxieties, but can't you just as easily say the Cardinals represent the same level of evil?

The Cubs and Brewers entered Thursday tied for the divisional lead, and if there was any decline in anti-Cubs vitriol during their recent run of lean years, it's certainly back now. Even before the series against Chicago started last week, many Brewers fans would have chosen the Cubs as the primary source of disgust.

Look, we can definitely despise both, but if you had to choose One True Evil, shouldn't the Cardinals get some consideration?

Let me at least make the case for St. Louis in this not-at-all-biased and completely neutral and rational breakdown:

Why the Cardinals are worse

Tyler Saladino  is tagged out at home by Cardinals catcher Francisco Pena as he was trying to score from first on Brent Suter's two run double in the fourth inning on Monday.

Head-to-head. At the end of the day, looking past the annoying fans and Miller Park takeovers and "lovable lovers" garbage, isn't it about winning baseball games? Over time, the Cardinals have been the chief obstacle to Milwaukee's few-and-far-between success stories.

Obviously, the Cardinals defeated the Brewers in the 1982 World Series in seven games. When Milwaukee finally got back to the league championship series in 2011, the Cardinals were there again to upset the Brewers in six games. 

The Cardinals are 93-65 against the Milwaukee Brewers this decade. They went 91-68 against Milwaukee in the first decade of the 2000s. Brutal. The Cubs, meanwhile, own a 78-73 edge this decade and 84-76 edge in the last one -- basically, the teams have been almost even since the turn of the century. The Cardinals are the bigger problem, on the field.

It feels like every time the Brewers build some momentum, the Cardinals stand in the way. And you know what?

That includes this year. The Brewers are 5-4 against the Cardinals so far in 2018, but you better believe the two will be fighting for a playoff spot at the end of the year. If the Brewers win the division over the Cubs, that's going to be a massive shock. The Cubs are equipped to make a World Series run, and everyone knows it, and it's notable that the Brewers got just about every break possible in May and still were just a half-game ahead of the Cubs after the first week of June.

There's a very good chance it comes down to wild-card spots, and the Brewers will be in direct competition with the Cardinals for one of those berths. 

The fans ... I'd argue are worse. First, the caveat: any criticism or discussion of a fan base paints in the broadest strokes possible and is inherently a dumb and oversimplifying proposition. That said, the Cardinals fans are unbearable.

The arrogance of the "Best Fans in Baseball" is much renowned. They're so smart! They're so engaged! Look at how they support their team! Blah blah blah. Tiny Milwaukee has a top-10 attendance in baseball, so I'd say the Brewers fan base is pretty dedicated, too (yes, St. Louis outdraws Milwaukee by a bunch). 

Cubs fans are considered loud and obnoxious, sure. But this is a simple math problem. Chicago is a massive city. There are tons of people and therefore tons of fans. There are bound to be some morons in that bunch. It's simply too large a sample of humanity. St. Louis does not have this excuse. I would bet, purely on an irresponsible anecdotal observation, that there are more Cardinals-fan morons per capita.

Let's also point out that the Cardinals fans flock to Miller Park and invade Milwaukee, too, though not at the volume of Cubs fans.

The "keepers of the game" thing is the worst. The Cubs, at least, can be fun, although Anthony Rizzo nearly killing a catcher earlier this year is certainly annoying. The Cardinals have long had the reputation of being stuffy and insistent on "old-school" principles, which is definitely not the route the Brewers have taken in recent years. Yadier Molina, a player Cardinals fans have canonized, is the chief offender. It was Chris Carpenter who led the anti-Nyjer Morgan sentiment in 2011 (we can probably agree that Morgan is far from blameless, though).

Manager Mike Matheny -- a former Brewer! -- seems relatively grumpy, but he's not as bad as former manager Tony LaRussa, who once complained about the lighting at Miller Park.

The Cardinals make baseball so, so serious. Boo to this.

Now, for the (more popular) counterpoint:

Why the Cubs are worse

Cubs third baseman Kris Bryant tags out Brewers second baseman Eric Sogard trying to score in the sixth inning.

The Miller Park takeover. This is pretty obvious. Miller Park basically serves as Wrigley North when the Cubs are in town. While Brewers fans have been blamed for turning over their tickets to the Illinois Invasion, I think that's kind of unfair. What fun is attending a game with your family when the majority of the fan base is cheering for the other guy? It sort of defeats the unifying experience of attending a sporting event and could even make the experience uncomfortable. I would not take my kids to a Brewers-Cubs game. 

Again, it comes back to a simple principle: there are just plain more of them than us. They are numerous and they are local. It's inescapable, and that's why it's unnerving.

The woe-is-me Lovable Losers thing. Boo-hoo, the poor Cubs, embroiled in decades of sub-standard baseball. 

They hadn't won a championship since 1908? GENERATIONS OF CUBS FANS DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A TITLE WAS LIKE.

Well, whatever. The exact same thing can be said about the Brewers, a team that has gone to the playoffs four times, in 1981, 1982, 2008 and 2011, and only been to one World Series, with zero titles. In 48 seasons as the Milwaukee Brewers, the franchise has had 30 losing years and two seasons at .500. In their 16 winning seasons, the Brewers have reached 90 wins just seven times.

OK, yes, the Cubs have only had 15 winning seasons in the same stretch (since 1970). But the Cubs also went to 10 additional World Series after 1908. If we're talking about a more modern era, they went to the playoffs in 1984, 1989, 1998, 2003, 2007, 2008 and 2015 (then again in 2016 for the World Series title and 2017). It's not like this team has been starved for good baseball, unlike the Brewers, who have had an uphill battle as a small-market team. Why did they get to complain so much about how pitiable they were?

And, as we saw with the Red Sox, once the "long-suffering" fans win a title, they go from insufferable to Truly Insufferable. Also, these same fans got the Bulls and Blackhawks winning title after title, so they've experienced their apportioned allotment of joy. Milwaukee teams haven't won a title since 1971 (yes, you have to count Green Bay, and the Packers have four Super Bowl titles while the Bears have one).

Their fans ... actually, they are the worst. See the previous caveat about fan bases, but my oh my are these people annoying. And they're everywhere. 

The way they treated Steve Bartman in 2003 is downright appalling and showcased the ugly side of fandom. It's also pretty rich how they vehemently boo Ryan Braun after lifting up Sammy Sosa for all those years (though lack-of-perspective is not unique to Chicago fans, I'll grant).

They're in the way. It's also kind of frustrating how well run the organization has been, bottoming out for a few years with the intent of building to this moment. And it's worked. Not only did they win the 2016 World Series, the Cubs are equipped for years to come with talented young stars.

If the Brewers want to reach the postseason in the next few seasons, they'll almost certainly have to cut through the Cubs, and that's going to be very tough.

Boo to this.