Walking each other home. -– Rock The Wrinkle

Life is so fragile. Every moment is precious. All around, there are people whose life has frozen in time…bad news about a loved one. Eviction. Divorce. A frightening diagnosis. Loss of a child. Maybe a business failure or money crisis that feels like there is no way out.

As baby boomers and beyond, we’ve had our share. And while it would be nice to think now we get to enjoy life, the joke is somewhat on us, or so I’ve found. Life does not easier. In fact, with the challenges of aging, it might get a lot harder. And more painful. So where’s the hope?

I think it’s in the fact that we are wiser, we are survivors, and we understand what is important, and what is not.

And I would hope, we cherish what—and who—is most important to us. Because as someone very wise said, “We’re all just walking each other home.”

I like that. I like the idea that when we’re at our most desperate, spirits appear around us who can lead us forward. Maybe we can see them—a dear friend, a spouse, even a beloved pet. And maybe they are invisible…but I believe they are just as real as ever. They’ve loved us, and they’re still with us.

It’s so hard to get frightening news. And it’s also so hard to know someone you love just got that news. But now’s when you channel your fear into something helpful. Like listening, really listening when they need it most. Giving them the opportunity to be sad, be angry, be profane or anything else they choose.

A friend who was over 80 died a few weeks ago. She was truly an amazing person her whole life, overcoming the suicide of a brother and a daughter. She was intelligent and talented. A published author and accomplished musician. She embraced the challenges of learning technology that was barely a dream when she was born. She never stopped growing. And she didn’t let her pain stop her.

What I liked most about her was she was fully human. I think we forget how to do that sometimes…to just be. To know that who we are is enough. We can learn and refine and strengthen and enhance, but in the end, who we are is who we are. And it wasn’t a mistake (unless we use our skills to hurt others).

And maybe most importantly, we can use our humanity to be there for someone else in crisis…someone who shouldn’t have to be any braver, any calmer, or any nicer than they feel. Because we love them. And because they are us. And because they might be needing us to let things get messy. Listen to Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers):

“Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness…. It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to. It takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it.”

We’re all aging. We’re all going to die (it always amazes me how many people really think they won’t.) We all have limited time. So maybe now’s the time to turn back to the basics…the skills you first learned.

Hold hands when you cross the street.

Be nice to your neighbor.

Brush your teeth.

Take naps.

Be kind to animals.

Love from the heart. We’re all on a journey…a journey that I believe leads somewhere glorious…and it’s good to remember that how we help one another along the way really does matter.