2018 predictions: Tennessee and 'Game of Thrones' will be 'aight'; Ball family less so
John Adams
With not much time left in 2017, it’s time to look ahead to 2018:
January
Steelers wide receiver Antonio Brown puts Ben Roethlisberger’s first play call on Facebook Live in second-round playoff game.
Following Alabama’s loss to Clemson, Lane Kiffin tweets, “One offensive coordinator short of a national title again #missing guru.”
Oklahoma quarterback Baker Mayfield issues an apology before national championship game for whatever obscenities or vulgar gestures he might make during the game.
Warren Beatty tells TMZ reporter that Meryl Streep groped him at the Golden Globe Awards.
LaMelo and LiAngelo Ball sign to play professional basketball with Istanbul team in the Turkish Basketball Super League.
February
News Sentinel sportswriter Blake Toppmeyer chronicles the nine-month John Currie era of UT athletics in his book, “April Fool.”
Justin Timberlake makes it through the Super Bowl halftime performance without ripping off anyone’s costume.
Jimmy Swaggart hires Hugh Freeze to coach his church league flag football team.
South LaFourche (La.) High School hires Les Miles as offensive coordinator for its junior varsity team.
LiAngelo Ball sentenced to 10 years in Turkish prison after being arrested for bolting from an Istanbul McDonald’s without paying for an order of fries.
March
UT forms a search committee — just for practice.
HBO poll ranks the Night King from “Game of Thrones” as the greatest passer of all time, ahead of Aaron Rodgers (second) and John Elway (third).
LaMelo Ball gives up pro basketball for an acting career.
Former UT athletic director John Currie hired as associate athletic director at Florida.
April
UT’s 1998 national championship football team honored at the Vols' spring game.
UT’s 2008 baseball team honored before Florida series opener at Lindsey Nelson Stadium.
Lady Vols make Final Four, the men's team makes NCAA tournament, and the UT baseball team wins an SEC series.
Baker Mayfield grabs his crotch and gives NFL commissioner Roger Goodell a middle-finger salute after being drafted in the first round by the Cleveland Browns.
Columbia Pictures announces that LaMelo Ball will play his brother LiAngelo in the long-awaited sequel to “Midnight Express,” titled “Fried.”
May
ESPN announces Jemele Hill and Michael Smith will replace Jon Gruden and Sean McDonough on “Monday Night Football.”
Baker Mayfield announces he will begin his professional career in the Canadian Football League.
Russell Westbrook has his name legally changed to “Triple Double.”
News Sentinel sportswriter Mike Wilson has his name legally changed to “Five Things.”
Sports department erupts with laughter when Tennessee beat reporter Blake Toppmeyer loudly asks John Adams, “How many of General Neyland’s teams did you cover?”
June
Edmonton Eskimos backup quarterback Colin Kaepernick takes a knee during the playing of Canada’s national anthem.
ESPN play-by-player announcer Robert Lee changes his name to General Grant.
Saying he’s “burned out,” Alabama coach Nick Saban announces his retirement from football.
Two minutes after announcing his retirement, Saban says he feels “recharged” after taking time away from the game and returns as Alabama’s head coach.
July
Hell freezes over.
Stephen A. Smith fired by ESPN for not being opinionated enough.
Ole Miss erects a statue of former Rebels coach Houston Nutt outside Vaught-Hemingway Stadium.
UT erects statue of Dave Hart outside Neyland Stadium.
ESPN rehires Curt Schilling.
“Game of Thrones” doesn’t renew dragons’ contracts for Season 8.
Craig Jenkins sells John Adams a used car.
No celebrity accused of fondling a woman.
Donald Trump stops tweeting.
Hillary Clinton stops running.
August
LeBron leaves Cleveland for Hollywood.
Ex-Vol Christian Coleman wins the world championship in 100 and 200 meters.
John Adams overhears supervisor Phil Kaplan telling Mike Wilson, “We don’t want John driving on any road trips this season.”
News Sentinel sportswriter Blake Toppmeyer chronicles the two-hour Greg Schiano era of Tennessee football in a book titled “Fans Rule.”
September
Monday Night Football’s season opener draws lowest ratings in show’s history.
Kobe Bryant comes out of retirement to play alongside Clippers’ LeBron James.
A chiseled, 6-foot-8, 350-pound Will Grier denies using performance-enhancing drugs after leading West Virginia to a victory against Tennessee.
Christian Coleman arrested for speeding while jogging on UT campus.
October
News Sentinel sportswriter Mike Wilson arrested after attempting to steal amaretto cream pies from Mt. Vernon’s restaurant.
South LaFourche (La.) High School junior varsity team suffers fifth consecutive shutout.
Alabama beats Tennessee by three touchdowns, but UT coach Jeremy Pruitt out-“aights” Nick Saban 13-7 in postgame interviews.
Jerry West comes out of retirement to play alongside Clippers’ LeBron James.
November
In exclusive interview with “Star,” O.J. Simpson says he has solid proof that space aliens killed his ex-wife.
News Sentinel prep editor Diana Nearhos gives John Adams a copy of “The Art of Aging” for a Veteran’s Day gift.
Jack Nicholson tells the L.A. Times that he was fondled by three different women while attending a Lakers game.
Tennessee makes it through regular season without any player injuring himself by falling on a helmet.
December
Neither team punts nor throws a pass in Army’s 31-30 victory over Navy.
LeBron James announces he will produce, direct and be the only actor in a future movie, titled “LeBron.”
John Adams sues the News Sentinel for age discrimination and hostile working environment.
In “60 Minutes” interview, O.J. Simpson says he will “go to the ends of the galaxy” to find his ex-wife’s killers.
John Adams is a senior columnist. He may be reached at 865-342-6284 or john.adams@knoxnews.com. Follow him at: Twitter.com/johnadamskns.