John Adams: Here's who's on my Christmas list

My Christmas shopping was easy this year. All I had to do was write it.

Litton’s restaurant: More pumpkin pie.

Homeland’s Carrie: More manic.

“In the Pocket”:  An Emmy.

ESPN: More games, less politics.

NASCAR: More fights, fewer wrecks.

Kyle Busch: Boxing lessons.

Joey Logano: A self-defense course.

Jimmy Hyams: A Twitter detective.

Marcos Garza: Wealthy, innocent clients.

Mike Wilson: An adult-sized “Little Mermaid” T-shirt.

Mike Strange: Horizon League Hall of Fame.

LeBron James: A quintuple double.

James Harden: A postseason comparable to his regular season.

Los Angeles Lakers: A postseason.

Aaron Rodgers: A full season.

Houston Rockets: A season worthy of the Astros.

Trey Smith: A team worthy of his talent.

William Holbert: A gallery worthy of his talent.

Beyonce: Tina Turner’s talent.

Tina Turner: Beyonce’s income.

Phil Kaplan: A place on Ted Turner Charities board of directors.

Deshaun Watson: See Aaron Rodgers.

Quinten Dormady: A fresh start.

Craig Jenkins: A sports logo for his one shirt that doesn’t have one.

Tony Basilio: A car big enough for a billboard.

PGA Tour: More diversity.

Pro tennis: More Americans

Diana Nearhos: Book shelves.

Joe Rexrode: A parachute.

Udit & Sumita Chaudhuri: A second home in Sedona.

Deb Sharp: An autographed photo from Jamie.

Cookeville's Doug Jones: An autographed photo from John Adams.

Todd Kelly Jr.: A successful comeback.

Uncle Tommy: A bumper sticker that reads “Fire Them All.”

Tua Tagovailoa: A start.

David Cobb: A story as good as his Brady Hoke impersonation.

Dan Fleser: A pet penguin.

John Adams: A snowy owl.

My neighborhood: Raccoon police.

Melinda Adams: An office window.

ETCH third floor: Gourmet vending machines.

Browns season-ticket holders: Rebates

Blake Toppmeyer: A "boy's night out" with Scooter Hobbs.

Ken Shull: Another secret life.

Rhiannon Potkey: A rematch with Serena Williams.

Baseball: More doubles, triples; fewer walks, strikeouts.

UT’s sideline trash can: Retirement.

Tony Robinson: An over-50 pro football league.

College basketball: Higher standards.

College football: An eight-team playoff.

Tee Martin: A head-coaching job.

Sally Grayson: Contestant's role on "The Price Is Right."

Charlie Walter: A sure bet.

Army-Navy: Two games a year.

Margie Holbert: Catnip.

Cersei Lannister: What she deserves.

Night King: A speaking role.

Tom Roberts: The best of health.

Dr. James Miller: A visit from Jerry LeDoux.

Lady Ann Johnson: Farm animals.

Miami: A major league baseball team.

Giancarlo Stanton: 162 games.

Aaron Judge: A bat for the playoffs that doesn’t have a hole in it.

Tennessee’s offensive line: An injury-free season.

Andrea Stansberry: A run through the “T.”

Smokey: An ice house for game day.

Ben & Cassandra: A honeymoon that lasts forever.

National anthem: Respect.

Grumors: The End.

Reach John Adams at john.adams@knoxnews.com or 865-342-6284 or follow him @johnadamskns.