Why not let Tennessee fans hire the coach?

This isn't a coaching search. It's a parody of a coaching search.

"Saturday Night Live" should make it a weekly staple. Bill Hader could play UT athletic director John Currie, and Alec Baldwin could play super-booster Jimmy Haslam.

Call it: "The Coaching Search That Got Lost."

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UT's wayward pursuit of a football coach is hilarious if you have no interest in the outcome. It's not as funny if you're a Tennessee fan, or even a columnist assigned with the task of providing sensible commentary on a venture that makes less sense by the day.

I'm writing this Wednesday night with the hope it won't be irrelevant by sunrise. I'm not optimistic.

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A column typed late Sunday morning was outdated before it could be launched into cyberspace. My Wednesday afternoon take on Purdue coach Jeff Brohm never saw the light of your computer screen.

The rejections have come and gone like tweets.

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I will resist the urge to comment on past mishaps and supposed near-miss hires - with one exception, Greg Schiano. The Ohio State defensive coordinator had consummated a deal with the Currie contingent Sunday, only to have it shredded by fan reaction.

Never mind that Tennessee fans were portrayed as "Hillbillies Gone Wild" in the national media. They saved the day.

But enough about the past. Let's look to the future and some of the other names that have popped up.

Les Miles: He's not a coach. He's a cartoon character.

He rarely beat Alabama when he was at LSU, even when the Tigers had more talent than any other school in the country, Alabama included.

He makes less sense at a press conference than former UT coach Butch Jones.

Dave Doeren: The North Carolina State coach began the season on the proverbial hot seat and lost four games.

What a hire that would be. (Sarcasm alert) I can imagine a full Neyland Stadium roaring its approval.

Kevin Steele: The Auburn defensive coordinator and former UT assistant coach has a great reputation as a recruiter and defensive strategist. 

But in his only head-coaching stint, at Baylor, he lost 36 of 45 games. Can you just pretend that didn't happen?

Tee Martin: A fan favorite, the former UT quarterback is the current offensive coordinator at Southern California.  But I would like to see what he could do as a head coach at a smaller school before he took over at UT.

Lane Kiffin: Another fan favorite. The former UT coach and current first-year coach at Florida Atlantic would be a joy from a columnist's perspective. And he can flat-out coach.

But can you trust the Lane Train to stay on track?

After reflecting on the last question, I concluded it would be less risky to have Kiffin running the football program than Currie ramrodding a coaching search.

And even if Martin had never coached above the middle-school level, I would take him over Miles.

Doeren makes me yawn uncontrollably. Baylor record aside, Steele would be a better hire.

The more I think about it, maybe it's time to scrap the search altogether. Just let the fans make the hire.

Turn Neyland Stadium into a voting booth. Give every fan with a seat a vote, with one stipulation: they can't vote for anyone who has been interviewed.

Once they've elected a coach, they could at least trust Currie to ask him how much it would take.

Alec Baldwin - uh, Jimmy Haslam - could write the check.

John Adams is a senior columnist. He may be reached at 865-342-6284 or john.adams@knoxnews.com. Follow him at: Twitter.com/johnadamskns.