Brent Batten: A profound essay on the human condition at Thanksgiving — or not

On the occasion of Thanksgiving it would be appropriate to put into words the gratitude each and every one of us feels for the many blessings of life.

From the individual level — family, friends, health — to the community level — neighbors, caring organizations, first responders — to the national level — freedom, security and the men and women who volunteer to put themselves in harm’s way to protect us — to the world level — brotherhood, alliances and progress.

The perspicacious writer would synthesize all of that into a profound essay about the human condition with a message of hope and optimism despite all the turmoil we see all around us.

More:Where to eat Thanksgiving dinner at restaurants in Naples, Bonita and Fort Myers

More:Naples, Fort Myers will see wet Thanksgiving, Black Friday

More:4 reasons gratitude is good for you

More:Celebrate the season: A list of holiday events and happenings in Southwest Florida

Or, you could just do like I do and jot down a list of things I’m thankful for.

» I’m thankful I’m not a politician or a Hollywood celebrity. Those guys are all getting hit with sexual misconduct charges. There’s no way a journalist would get caught up in such sordid matters. Oh, wait …

» I am thankful for cookware that goes straight from the refrigerator to the microwave.

» I am thankful for hurricane shutters.

» I am thankful for power company lineman, although not as thankful today as I was two months ago when they were all here.

» I am thankful for those trucks with the claw arm that pick up storm debris from the right of way, although not as thankful today as I will be two months from now when they’re gone.

» I am grateful, appreciative, obliged and beholden for my computer's built-in thesaurus.

» I am thankful for my TV’s remote control, especially the mute button.

» I am thankful that sports give us a welcome respite from the bickering, criminality and petty politics that bombard us the rest of the week. Oh, wait again …

» I am thankful I’m not a fan of the Dolphins, Buccaneers, Packers or Giants. Those people had such high expectations at the beginning of the season and have suffered crushing disappointment since. As Browns fan, I’ve experienced none of that.

» I am thankful for those sports shows that condense an entire football game down to 60 minutes.

» I am thankful for social media. How else would I know what some casual acquaintance from high school is having for lunch?

» I am thankful for paperless billing. The banks, credit card companies and utilities can get my money without me even having to go to the trouble of writing a check.

» I am thankful for free Wi-Fi.  

» I am thankful for my smartphone. I never have to worry about spending a single moment of solitary contemplation about anything deeper than whatever game or app I have open at the moment.

» I am thankful for water. Everyone is always giving thanks for food, but where would we be without water?

» I am thankful for the final 10 seconds of the Naples High vs. Charlotte High football game.

» I am thankful for ATMs that don’t charge a fee.

» I am thankful for vending machines that accept crumpled, tattered dollar bills.

» I am thankful for those contraptions that sort your change and give you paper money in return.

» I am thankful for corporate meetings at my office in part because it is important for company executives to stay in touch with the rank-and-file workers but mainly because when the meeting is over they bring the leftover food trays out into the newsroom for the rest of us to polish off.

» I am thankful for yet another opportunity to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.

Connect with Brent Batten at brent.batten@naplesnews.com, on Twitter @NDN_BrentBatten and at facebook.com/ndnbrentbatten.