R&R in Wisco: Elroy-Sparta State Trail tunnel offers pre-Halloween creepiness

NORWALK - Late afternoon grayness was deepening Saturday as I approached Tunnel No. 3 on the Elroy-Sparta State Trail northwest of Norwalk.

I had been waiting for this moment since 1981 when I was 13 years old. Back then, I somehow got hold of a book called "Bicycle Escape Routes: A Touring Guide To Wisconsin," by Doug Shidell and Philip Van Valkenberg. 

If I remember correctly, the book highlighted the 32-mile Elroy-Sparta trail, considered to be the first former railroad converted into a recreational trail in the United States. Riding on it, and around the state in the general, seemed to be nothing short of awesome.

Reading that book changed my life forever. And it immediately planted an urge to ride on the Elroy-Sparta trail, an urge that only grew stronger over the next 37 years.

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It was as if Shidell and Van Valkenberg were drug dealers telling a kid at a playground to "just try some." Only instead of opening the door to a life of drug addiction and pain, they unveiled for me a world of adventure and fun (and sometimes pain) on two wheels. I've been basically hooked on cycling and exploring ever since, and I have no intention of ever kicking that addiction.

In many ways, "Bicycle Escape Routes" set the stage for my 2017 Runnin' and Ridin' in Wisco Project, my scheme to run three miles or bicycle 15 miles in each of the state's 72 counties. The Elroy-Sparta segment of the trail is in Monroe County.

The tunnels aren't for everybody. The longest one, the one I was approaching at about 4 p.m., is about three-fourths of a mile long. You can see the light at the other end of the tunnel when you enter, but it's a small spot that looks far away, and that can leave people feeling disconcerted or worse.

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READ MORE about the 2017 Runnin' and Ridin' Project at Keith Uhlig's blog:  Wandering Central Wisconsin

My friend Paul once told me that he took a woman to the Elroy-Sparta trail on a date. At the time, he often took his girlfriends on adventures that would give them a little thrill. The idea was that being a little scared would add spice to the relationship. It's actually a good theory according to science, but it backfired in this case.

They forgot their lights and picked their way through the gloom of the old tunnel. The floor is disconcertingly rough, and Paul's date completely freaked out. He helped guide her, and as they slowly made their way through, her panic transformed to rage. They broke up a short time after that.

This story, by the way, reaffirmed my commitment to go through one of those tunnels.

Before I got to Monroe County, I did a couple of other R&R segments. I rode my bike on the Great River Road in Buffalo County, starting in Alma, riding to Nelson and back again. It was cold and windy. My winter helmet with the earmuffs was on my head, but I forgot the cover that keeps the wind away from my scalp. The first 7.5 miles were punctuated by the kind of headache you get from eating ice cream too fast, only it was without the ice cream.

The ride back to Alma was terrific. The wind, my mortal enemy going out, was my e-motor, my EPO and my savior on the way back. I shifted into the big ring and sailed to lunch and coffee...

... which consisted of ham and cheese on a croissant and a vanilla latte at The Coffee Wench in downtown Alma. It was excellent, and made better by excellent customer service. (The owner called me "young man" after I walked in. Sure, that's a lie, but it worked.)

After lunch, I headed north. I stopped in tiny Midway to run three miles on the Great River State Trail, which was hard. I seem to be able to ride a bike fine after a run, but running after riding a bike is such a chore. Still, it was quiet and nice, and I can check off La Crosse County.

Then (finally!) after driving east to Norwalk and riding about 4 miles, I was at the TUNNEL. 

You know how you look forward to something for a long time and then you get to do it, and it's like "Meh, what was all the fuss about?" Going through Tunnel No. 3 wasn't like that. It was better than I ever imagined.

First off, the big wooden gates make it look like you're entering Mordor. Then, you think it would be quiet in there, but it's not. There is water dripping everywhere, and it makes for hollow, staccato, discordant beating. At some places, there is water running down the walls. You see the layers of the earth in areas, arches made of big bricks in others. Man, it was creepy cool.

When I went through, there was a guy in there, just hanging out. I saw his flashlight sparkle on the walls. I said hello as I went by him, and he nodded and said hi back under a hood. 

He was still there when I returned. I wondered if he was a worker looking for cracks. Or a homeless person. Or maybe a hobbit who dropped his ring. I had to ask. 

"Whatcha looking for?"

"Oh," he said, smiling. "A geocache." 

Well, I thought. That's cool too.

On Wisconsin.

2017 Runnin' and Ridin' in Wisco Project status report:

With Buffalo, La Crosse and Monroe counties, my tally is up to 45 counties. I have 27 more counties to go before midnight on New Year's Eve.