Welcome to my weekly post where we take a break from money-related posts and I share about what I’m loving right now and give you a little peek into our life from the past week.
What I’m Reading
Right now, I’m reading: Fragments That Remain, Cleaning House, and God’s Whispers in a Mother’s Chaos.
I’m also reading The Upstairs Room aloud to the kids at night and we’re really enjoying it. Note: We’re really loving this book, even though I think the writing could have been tightened up on it for it to be even better. However, it totally caught me off guard that it had language in it that I never would have expected for a kid’s book and I’ve had to edit out a few words here and there.
This past week I finished reading A Secret Courage. I had high hopes for this book since I’ve loved Tricia Goyer’s WWII novels. But this one fell flat for me. It felt like it lacked character development and depth and I didn’t fall in love with any of the characters. So yeah, I was sad because I really wanted to love this book.
{See my Reading Goals for 2017. Also, see the 47 books I’ve read so far in 2017 here.}
What I Watched This Week
So, I fell into the hole that is Dude Perfect. Oh yes, I did. And I may be the last person on the planet to have discovered them, but now I understand why people love their YouTube videos so much!
This week, I also went through the Pinterest Group Board Master class and found it so helpful. If you are a blogger who is wanting to up your Pinterest game, I highly recommend this course!
What We’re Celebrating
Her pregnancy and birth were my hardest (I had to be hospitalized & induced early because of anemia and low platelet counts.)
She was born during one of the darkest seasons of our marriage. (Jesse lost his job and couldn’t find another one. I had raging postpartum depression and threatened to leave him multiple times because I felt so angry and scared and desperate.)
But this girl… she brought so much light in the middle of despair. And she continues to fill our life and our home with beauty!
She’s had amazing resilience and tenacity almost since birth. She learned how to roll over when she was 2 weeks old and she’s just never stopped moving since then.
She’s a whirlwind of creativity and is always experimenting and teaching herself some new kind of art — whether that is trying new baking recipes, new hairstyles, new eye makeup looks, new slime recipes, putting together new outfits, designing her future room, new sewing projects, or new ice-skating or gymnastics moves.
Every day is an adventure in creating and discovering.
She teaches me to appreciate and see beauty I never would have noticed.
She never lets fear of failure stop her. She just jumps out and tries whatever the next thing is that she has set her mind to.
And if that doesn’t work like she hoped, she gets up and tries again — or she picks another thing and jumps in wholeheartedly on that idea.
We love this girl more than words can express and can’t believe she’s 10 years old!! Happy Birthday, Kaitlynn!
What I Am Learning
I haven’t told you all this yet, but we have dubbed this the Year of Chores.
Last year, I realized that Silas and Kaitlynn hadn’t gotten as much “chore training” as Kathrynne had and were not as apt to take initiative or just automatically pick up after themselves without being asked.
So since the beginning of the year, we’ve been working on making responsibility, picking up after yourselves, diligence, and a servant’s heart a priority.
And it’s made a BIG difference in our home! (And hopefully it will make a big difference in their future success, too!)
We didn’t use some incredible chore chart or system, I just kept it simple by a) Explaining to them why we were making the change b) Taking personal responsibility for the fact that I haven’t taught them as much in these areas as I needed to c) Making this a priority every day.
Change in our lives and homes doesn’t always have to involve some a complete overhauling of our approach or a sophisticated new system. It might happen just by acknowledging the issue, taking personal responsibility for what we need to, and making it a priority.
Those simple steps can lead to life transformation… one little decision at a time.
What I Am Pondering
“Something has changed with your writing…” I’ve heard this comment over and over again the past few months.
Yes, something has changed — not just in my writing, but in my heart. ?
Last Fall, I started a 9-month Discipleship Program at our church. I knew that the program was not your typical Bible Study, but I had no idea that it was going to be like 9 months of intensive counseling!!
One of the biggest aha! moments for me was the section on idols. I discovered I had a major approval idol and that it was driving my decisions, ruling my parenting, and hurting all my relationships.
I’d always known I struggled with being a people-pleaser, but I had no idea how deep my need for others’ approval ran nor how it was wreaking havoc in my life.
As a result of that discovery, I started paying close attention to the why behind everything I do.
“Why am I stressing about my response to her? Why do I feel like I should invite her over? Why do I want to make sure she knows xyz about me? Why am I feeling the need to explain or apologize or hold back information? Why am I scared to be honest and vulnerable?”
And on and on I questioned myself, only to realize that most of my decisions were ultimately being made thinking of other people’s approval — and often, it was people whom I didn’t really even know well!
I’m on a journey of inward healing and transformation and I’m learning to bask in the truth that my Heavenly Father loves me. As I am. Right now. Period.
When I rest in His love, I can live as loved… without having to stress over what someone else thinks of me.
There’s so much freedom there! I can love my husband, parent my kids, invest in relationships, post on Instagram… and bring my true self — the raw, the messes, the real, the beautiful — without having to agonize or stress or expend energy worrying how I’m being perceived or what others think.
So there you have it! If you’ve noticed a difference in my writing online, that’s why. And whether or not you like it, I’m okay. Because my Heavenly Father loves me, these 4 wonderful people in this picture love me, and that’s enough.
Tyla Milian says
Approval. Worrying about what others think. I’ve pretty much given up on that. But it was a long journey to get to that point. I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 19. I would have rather told people I had cancer. I was afraid of being judged. Now, 14 years later and with my more accurate diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, I’m not ashamed of my struggles. I even use the things that help me cope as inspirations for the creations in my online store, Bipolar Mom Designs.
God’s approval is number one. And he sees all of us not necessarily for what we are, but for what we can eventually become.
Amy says
Have you read Gretchen Rubin’s book Better than Before or take her four tendencies quiz? I have a feeling you’re an obliger or an upholder. I’m a questioner, and this framework has been so helpful for me in understanding myself, my family and co-workers. Her podcast Happier also has a few episodes on each tendency. Thanks again for sharing your life!!
Crystal Paine says
I’m a questioner. 🙂
Robin says
Thank you for your post about your change of heart. I too have been on a similar journey the past two months and realizing that most things in my life were for the approval of other people.
It’s reassuring to know I’m not the only one that has struggled with this and I’m happy to see an example of you owning your new heart.
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your kind encouragement! And welcome on the journey!
Kris says
Oh how I love this! Thank you for sharing. I too am working on heart idols after our small group studied Brad Bingley’s book titled “Gospel Treason”. My driving idol is comfort! I’m also using the free “Grace to you” app to do deep Bible study and reading Paul David Tripp’s book on Parenting. Lots of uncomfortable growth but also lots of joyous freedom!
Crystal Paine says
Yes! I so get that!
“Lots of uncomfortable growth but also lots of joyous freedom!”
Julie Swihart says
Well I love it even more!
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much!
JJ says
Your personal posts are my favorite! Thank you for sharing what’s going on in your life and helping others realize they aren’t alone. I couldn’t help but think of the song, “Live Like You’re Loved” by Hawk Nelson. So true! Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter! I’ve been following you since the days of biblicalwomanhood(I *think* that was what it was called). It was right around the time you stopped writing on that blog. Yet so many times recently I have thought how you’d be an excellent devotional writer. You are good at applications, which many devotionals truly lack. Deep pockets of Scripture with a leg of application would be right up your alley. ?
Crystal Paine says
Maybe someday! We’ll see what God has in store! 🙂
And thank you so much for your encouragement!
Katie says
I am really happy for you and that Bible Study- I could really use something like that as I struggle with the same thing, and caring way too much about what other people think. Hopefully your Pastor will publish it!
Happy Birthday to your daughter!! They grow up too fast.
Crystal Paine says
Yes! I SO hope he publishes it!
Katie says
I’m so excited to hear about your letting go of the approval of people. It’s something I’m struggling with as well. You know how we women are always reminding ourselves and others that we are good enough? I feel like God has been trying to tell me lately that I am simply GOOD! He made me, saved me and is working from here on out on making me whole, in His way and His time, despite the thoughts and feelings of anyone else I may be comparing myself to. Praise the Lord!! 🙂
Crystal Paine says
I love this! Thank you so much for sharing!
LEANNE says
for far too many reasons than I would ever share on social media, I’m very thankful for this change in your writing… I am so encouraged by it… thank you!
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your kind encouragement! I’m so grateful!
Bethany says
I love the picture of Kaitlyn…. she looks just like a mini you – so adorable! Happy Birthday to her!
Crystal Paine says
She is my mini-me, except she’s much more fashionable and creative!
Aimee Hadden says
Such a good reminder to me to focus on The One who accepts me and not base my worth on the people who can only offer conditional love.
Crystal Paine says
YES!
Cyndy says
Oh please promote that study when it is published, sounds like something I need
Crystal Paine says
I definitely will!!
Jenna says
Yes, please…I want to be more authentic in my relationships and transparent. Humility is an ongoing struggle for me. Lord, change my heart and make me more like You!
Crystal, thank you for sharing your heart. I think it’s safe to say that you speak to so many of us. Thank you for doing the “hard things” and trusting God in faith to guide and direct you when those things are scary and uncomfortable. You are an encouragement to me.
Blessings!
Crystal Paine says
Aw, thank you so much for your kind encouragement!
Lindsey S. says
Sounds like we are learning a lot of the same lessons this year. My kids need to work harder; they’ve been getting off easy with chores compared to some of their friends who are more industrious. I also had a lot of personal disappointments that opened my eyes to where I had been looking to others for my identity instead of Jesus. It’s easy to make idols of anything; husband, kids, job, hobbies, friends, status, etc. When others hurt and disappointed me I realized how much I had been putting my hope in those other things and people and I grew soooo much in my faith. I loved your post today!
Crystal Paine says
It’s amazing how we can put our trust and/or find our joy or security (or lack thereof) in so many other things… without even realizing it!
Jaimie says
I love these weekly posts. Thanks for sharing a bit of your life with us!
I wanted to thank you again for the books you sent me a few months ago (I won one of your book giveaways, what a blessing!). Just finished reading “The Green Ember” a couple days ago and it was SO GOOD!! I’ve been browsing through the book on hygge and “Thirty Chic Days;” so much good inspiration in both. Looking forward to when my boys are old enough that I can read “The Green Ember” to them, and I’m going to get the sequel as well!
And I started reading “Money-Making Mom” and, although I know it means some hard work on my part, I’m looking forward to implementing many of your ideas and advice, with the goal of reducing our financial stress and being able to have a decent savings, as well as hopefully be a blessing to others. We’ll see how that goes. 🙂
Thank you again. Much love and hugs!! <3
Crystal Paine says
You are SO welcome! I’m glad you are enjoying them!
Natalie says
I’ve been a reader for over 5 years now, and I really have appreciated how your “voice” has changed and matured over time. I love how real and honest you have been lately, and want to thank you for sharing with all of us!
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your kind encouragement!
Melissa Kaiserman says
You were the second-to-last person to discover Dude Perfect. I just sat down and watched my first videos earlier today with my kids. 🙂
I love hearing about what God’s doing in your heart. It will not just change your life but will trickle down to your kids. Isn’t that exciting?
Crystal Paine says
That makes me feel better that I’m not the only one late to the game! 🙂
Julie says
I have heard of Dude Perfect but have never watched a video and now I’m not sure I want to get sucked in. 🙂
Emilie says
Never heard of it before today…
Jen says
I had never heard of it before today either
Laura says
Absolutely love this this reading. Made me think too. I think I have to remember also whose approval I am seeking. I do things to make others happy more than I should especially when it doesn’t make me happy. I need to remember that God loves me, my husband loves me and my daughter loves me. Thank you.
Crystal Paine says
I’m so glad that it was encouraging and thought-provoking to you!
Cindy Hasko says
I have been receiving your emails into my email box for so long. I read them daily and love them. I also love this post. Beautiful and perfect. Amen! 😉 Thumbs up!! xo
Crystal Paine says
Aw, thank you so much for your kind encouragement!
Tasha says
Does the discipleship program you are going through have a name?
Thanks for sharing.
Crystal Paine says
Our pastor wrote it. I’m hoping he’ll eventually publish it.
Kori says
I’d be really interested in learning more about it. I’m in need of some of that growth in my own life.
Nikki says
Me, too!!
Chris says
Crystal, I have been reading your blog for over 10 years now, you were pregnant with Kaitlynn when I first started following you and remember when she was born. Happy birthday to her. I always like when you post from your heart like you did today. And I was also thrilled that you posted your grocery shopping and menu plan for this week. I do enjoy when Gretchen and Brigette post their runs also.
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your encouragement — and for being such a longtime reader!
Suz says
Honestly it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks……but I have very much enjoyed your openness and changes….it’s part of growth…..and you are a perfect you…thank you.
Crystal Paine says
Aw, thank you so much for your kind encouragement!
Bethany says
Love that your heart and writing is changing. I like this post because it’s giving glory to God.
My husband love watching Dude Perfect with the kids.
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your kind encouragement!