FAQ: I’d Like to Do That, But My Elders Have Higher Standards

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I get questions. I get a lot of questions. Some come in via an email. Others in a comment. And some I get asked in a workshop or conference session.

This one is actually not a question. Instead, I'd like to respond to a comment I received about a strategy post I shared. And the way I've shaped the comment here has been edited to better reflect a very common response I get to strategy posts on "recruiting an unlimited number of leaders (for instance, Top 10 Ways to Launch New Groups)."

"I'd like to do that, but my elders have higher standards (about who can be a leader)."

Ever been handcuffed (great term, used by many to describe situations outside their control) by a policy handed down by leadership?

The truth is, we've all been there. Right?

What I want to do here today is simply share a short and sweet overview of my approach to situations like this when they happen to me (or to a small group pastor in a church I am consulting or coaching).

My 4 Step Approach to Challenging Policies

First, I work to make sure we're all understanding the landscape in the same way.

I do that by walking everyone through the calculation of our true percentage connected.

I start, like I suggest we all do, with the basic math (number of adults in groups divided by average adult weekend worship attendance). For instance, 290/450 = 64%.

Once I've established the basic math, I draw their attention to what I believe is the true percentage connected (number of adults in groups divided by the average adult attendance at our Easter or Christmas Eve services). For example, if there are 600 adults at Easter and 290 are connected, 290/600 = 48%.

Why do I believe this is the true percentage connected? It's not the same 450 every week. It's the larger number infrequent attenders added to the more consistent base.

It is not unusual for elders (who often set policy) to not fully understand how many adults are actually attending their church.

It is not unusual for elders (who often set policy) to not fully understand how many adults are actually attending their church. Click To Tweet

See also, What Percentage of Your Adults are Actually Connected?

Second, I work to make sure we're all understanding the benefit of being connected and consequence of not being connected.

I begin with an understanding of the benefit(s) of being connected. Depending on the circumstances, I might ask everyone in the meeting to contribute what they think are the benefits. Or I might simply suggest a few (i.e., feeling known, loved, cared for, held accountable, challenged, forgiven, etc.).

Essentially, people who are connected experience what it is to be one-anothered.

Next, I want everyone to be clear on the consequence(s) of not being connected. Same story, I might ask everyone in the meeting to contribute what they think are the consequences. Or I might simply suggest a few (i.e., feel like a face in the crowd, lonely, discouraged, etc.).

At this point, I also make my case for the reality that unconnected people are always one tough thing away from never being at our church again.

Unconnected people are always one tough thing away from never being at our church again. Click To Tweet

Unconnected people are always one tough thing away from never being at our church again. Loss of a job. Divorce or separation. A devastating diagnosis. A child in trouble.

One tough thing.

We live in a world where one tough thing is always close by.

Unconnected people rarely call the church for help.  It’s much more common for unconnected people to simply stop coming.

See also, What's Your Urgency Level for Connecting Unconnected People?

Third, I come back to the math. I want to make sure everyone in the discussion owns the reality.

The true percentage connected in our example reveals that over 50% of the flock is not in the sheepfold. They are unconnected and one tough thing away.

Ultimately...it is a stewardship issue. Is it not?

Fourth, I explore possible solutions with the group.

Fourth, I explore possible solutions with the group. I spend a few minutes painting a scenario. For example, I might say,

"Here are a few ways we might connect the other 310 adults. To start, we'd probably need another 30 groups (or so). And 30 more leaders.

"We could challenge every group leader to have an apprentice and then 12 months from now they could all multiply and we'd have our 30 more leaders."

"In fairness, the challenge to that is two-fold. First, it's not a given that every apprentice will actually become a new leader at all, let alone that it will only take 12 months.

"More importantly, in the 12 month window, how many of our unconnected 310 adults will experience the one tough thing that takes them out of the flock?

"Alternatively, we could introduce an additional method of identifying potential leaders. And we could develop some ways to make sure the potential leaders begin well and continue to develop into everything we really want our leaders to be. For example, we could pair them up with a coach or an experienced leader for encouragement and accountability.

At this point, I often talk through 3 ways to connect more unconnected people. I explore the church-wide campaign strategy and include the "if you've got a couple friends" element. I talk through the connection strategy and the guardrails that come with it. And I talk them through the short-term on-campus strategy with its own set of guardrails.

I believe the key to this exercise is to help everyone see the situation as a stewardship issue. It is possible to see our need and responsibility for recruiting and developing leaders who are everything we want them to be AND at the same time the need and responsibility to care for the unconnected people in our church.

Further Reading:

4 Tell-Tale Signs Your Small Group System Is Broken

What's Your Urgency Level for Connecting Unconnected People?

Top 10 Ways to Launch New Groups

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