JIM STINGL

Milwaukee dad with brain cancer in hospital Skypes his son's adoption

Jim Stingl
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Caleb Duda, 4, and his older brother, Elijah, 10, make funny faces after Caleb's adoption while taking a selfie.

Although he wasn't physically present, Dave Duda's voice could be heard by everyone gathered in the courtroom for his son Caleb's adoption on Tuesday.

"I love that little guy with all my heart," he said.

Dave was speaking via Skype from 9 miles away at Aurora St. Luke's Medical Center, where he's being treated for brain cancer that was discovered in January.

He told Milwaukee County Children's Judge Laura Gramling Perez that he concurred with everything he just heard his wife, Amanda, say on the witness stand. Even in the midst of this serious health challenge, they are ready to provide a loving home to Caleb, who turns 5 next month.

Jessica Edwards, a family case management supervisor at Children's Hospital of Wisconsin, aimed an iPad at everything happening in the courtroom so Dave could witness this special event in real time. She stood up to get a better view when Caleb climbed on the judge's chair and banged a gavel to make it all official.

He's now Caleb David Duda, and he's a lucky boy, said Perez, who enthusiastically approved the adoption. Caleb has a brother, Elijah, 10, who was adopted by the Dudas as a baby orphan from Ethiopia. Adding to the love is Caleb's half-sister, a foster child in the family's south side Milwaukee home. She turns 1 next month.

There was no doubt Caleb's adoption would proceed as scheduled, even with Dave unable to be there.

"It's exciting to be moving forward for Caleb so that he's officially ours. It's been a long road," Dave told me when I met him Monday in his hospital room.

The boy, then 2, was placed in their home in April 2014. He had a rough start in life and had been abused and neglected, then cycled through other foster homes in Milwaukee. Eventually, his birth parents' rights to him were terminated in court.

Caleb was not very verbal or receptive to holding and cuddling when he first came to the Dudas. But he has worked with various therapists and is thriving now. He and Elijah are particularly close.

Amanda said it was Dave's idea to adopt children, and he brought it up before they were married in 2003. Amanda, 37, is a homemaker. Dave, 42, is an engineer for the City of Cudahy.

"I haven't felt the need to physically birth a child. There are just so many kids. God calls us to help the orphans," Amanda told me.

Throughout 2016, Dave was having unexplained symptoms such as loss of taste, blurred vision, kidney stones and flare-ups of his lupus. The wait time to see a neurologist locally was surprisingly long, so Dave went to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., where a scan showed a tumor in his brain. Most of the mass was surgically removed last month on Valentine's Day.

But upon returning home, Dave experienced intense pain and needed two more surgeries for infections in his brain. He has been at St. Luke's for 39 days, most of that time in intensive care.

Amanda already considers her husband's progress a miracle, but this family could use another one. Doctors told Dave that, statistically, the survival rate for this cancer is 2 to 5 years. The family has placed the future in God's hands. When I met Amanda on Monday, the front of her T-shirt read, Romans 8:28, which is, "We know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Someone else was missing from Tuesday's adoption proceeding. Amanda's mother, Karen Krolikowski, died of lung cancer in November at age 66. Amanda called her their biggest cheerleader for adoption and foster care. A framed photo of Karen was held up in some of the family photos taken in court.

After the adoption was complete, Amanda and the kids headed straight to see Dave.

"It's a long three years, but we're so thankful," she announced just before leaving. "We'll have a nice party when Dave gets out of the hospital."

Contact Jim Stingl at (414) 224-2017 or jstingl@jrn.com. Connect with my public page at Facebook.com/Journalist.Jim.Stingl