She's the Baby

On one hand, there is the tween. She is in such a hurry to grow up. As if it isn't happening quickly enough all on its own, Alexis is constantly looking for ways to be more grown up faster. Makeup, clothes, carefully planning every day of the rest of her life ... you name it. She's trying to push her way to adulthood right now.

It's ridiculous, really. She doesn't need to try to push anything because I already bought her a shirt in the grown-up section the other day. Meh baby can wear adult clothes now.

On the other hand, there's Mila. Mila is right smack in the middle of the space between baby and kid. I prefer to call it "toddler," but when the moment is right, we throw "big kid" in there. Mostly it's meant as motivation. "You're a big kid now, so you don't need diapers" and such.

"Are you ready to be a big girl?"

"Big girls put their shoes away."

"You're too big for that."

Admittedly, we say it all. It's truly done with the best of intents, but Mila doesn't care. Mila is all NOOOOPE. Nopity nope nope.

"I not big. I a baby," she will reply. EVERY DAMN TIME.

It doesn't matter what it is, Mila will pout and make herself as small as possible while she carefully tells you that you're as wrong as wrong can be. She's a baby. Don't forget it.

Which takes us to this evening. Alexis has a bag of York Peppermint Patties in the pantry. They are her most favorite candy in the whole wide world and she's hoarding that bag so that she can enjoy one little piece at a time for months. She would like to be hoarding that bag in her bedroom, but I have a strict "no food in the carpeted parts of the house" rule. Alas.

Mila somehow found out about the bag of candy. One thing led to another and suddenly her little "baby" butt was climbing the shelves so she could cozy up by the ceiling and snack the day away. I caught her before she could get as far as she needed to, though.

"Mila, get down," I said.

She refused, of course.

We went back and forth for a few minutes before she said, "Baby needs candy," and continued climbing. For some reason, I assumed she meant that her doll, who is named "Baby."

"I'll find a snack for Baby. You get down," I said.

"Nooooo! I the baby!" she replied.

Confused yet? I was.

"Babies don't climb shelves," I told her.

"Yes, babies do climb shelves," she replied.

"Babies don't speak in complete sentences, big girl," I said as I pried her off the shelf and set her on the ground.

She, of course, melted into a puddle of whine. She threw little self to the floor and mustered up the best tantrum she could find. Which, she's had a few years of practice, so she's pretty good at it. I told her as much, but she just kept insisting that she's the baby.

The whole thing has me wondering a few things:

1. Do the girls purposely seek out ways to be different? Are they allergic to agreeing with each other? Why must one be in a hurry to grow up while the other one insists on staying little?

2. Who was the genius who coined the phrase "like taking candy from a baby" because I'm pretty sure that person was a moron who had never actually met a baby ... er, I mean toddler. Who had never actually met a toddler.

Comments

[hello haha narf]

i have NEVER understood the "taking candy from a baby" line! makes no sense. unless when they say it the people mean all hell will come raining down?
your girls being different just pleases me to know end.
:)