What I Didn’t Expect During My Recovery
As I mentioned this weekend, last week was my first week back to work after recovery from surgery. I have been unexpectedly quiet as I have gotten my feet under me, once again doing the tap dance of working motherhood.
You see, I thought my surgery recovery would be much easier.
That not to say I didn’t think it would be challenging physically. I expected that part.
But because many people compared abdominal surgery to recovery from a c-section, I had high expectations. I had a c-section with my third child, Ezra and released a book 6-weeks later. While I certainly had pain, I was very functional.
In my opinion, diastasis repair and abdominoplasty have a much harder recovery than a c-section (and I had a breast reduction, too!).
I didn’t expect to be so tired that I would spend many hours napping.
I didn’t expect to not be able to tackle some fresh writing projects.
I didn’t expect the medication to affect me in such strong ways.
I didn’t expect to not read during my time on medical leave.
I didn’t expect my recovery to be so tough mentally.
I didn’t expect how hard it would be to not do simple things for my children, like pick up Ezra.
I didn’t expect to be unable to really do anything extra.
But those things were my reality. I joked with a friend yesterday that I need a month off from my month off.
I’m still processing the past six weeks. For someone who likes to be highly productive and whose mind is continuously running, I have learned a lot. I have seen the value in presence and in slowness in a new way. I developed more empathy for those will medical challenges. I’ve thought a lot about my friend Sara, who had a chronic disease and was homebound.
As 2017 has begun, I have seen many friends (and strangers) setting big goals and moving quickly. I have had the opposite experience. I have been quiet and entering things slowly. I am making very deliberate choices as I ease back into all the things.Â
And it’s been good.Â
I had a hysterectomy on September 2, 2016 and returned to work on the 28th. I thought “major surgery? Been there, done that.” I had a c-section with my second daughter and went home with an infant and a 5 year old and a husband qho not only went to work a couple days later, but went to sea (submariner) a few weeks later! Hysterectomy? Meaning, no breast-feeding, diaper changing, baby toting days after surgery? I got this.
Right…not taking into account I was not only (a bit, lol) heavier than I was back then, but also almost 20 years older? Big mistake.
I don’t remember 90% of the first week after surgery. I hardly took any pain meds, but I slept probably 18 hours a day for most of that week. And discomfort/pain? Who knew how often stomach muscles come into play?
Big wake up call and I had to return to work after three weeks because I did not have enough time saved up and could not afford to be at home without pay.
Would I do it again? Of course. But I would have left the expectations of recovery and guilt for ‘doing nothing’ out of it.
We women need to cut ourselves some slack and give ourselves the credit we deserve for being the super-humans we are. 🙂
It is so hard, when you’re a high energy person, to have no energy. I’m sleeping off a stomach bug today, and I hate it. But you’re through it now! Hope you’re doing OK.
Hi Jessica, I hope you’re well! I wanted to check in these years later and see if you’re glad you had the abdominoplasty done? I’m looking at having one and am nervous about the recovery, but hopeful it will be worth it?
It is the single best thing I ever did for myself. Seriously. The recovery is extremely hard (at least it was for me), but I would do it again in a second, even knowing the challenges that come post-surgery.