I’ve just been moaning on twitter about hitting a bit of a ‘blogging wall’ after 3 weeks of doing pretty well on my Septemblog challenge. In doing so, it occurred to me how lucky I am that — minor ‘every day’ life niggles aside — the only thing I can think of to moan about today is not having a topic to write about.
This time last year I was still trying to come to terms with the realities of lone parenting: mentally, physically and most overwhelmingly financially. Scraping together every spare penny to deal with having to pay all the bills myself, and a bunch of other crap that all seemed to hit at the same time, not least a tax fine/bill of over £950 because of a cock-up I’d made on a previous year’s tax return.
I was broken, financially and (nearly) mentally, and desperately trying to save every penny for massive impending solicitor and IFA bills to finalise the transfer of equity and re-mortgage my house. Bad times.
Anyway. At times — where I was not sure how to make my full time salary stretch any further, and I’d already worked my evenings away doing dev on the side — I would brainstorm ideas that would be low (mental) effort for high return and time and time again found myself pondering the realities of using the world’s (supposedly) oldest profession as a second sideline: I even googled story after story of past and present cam-girls and amateur porn stars to figure out the ins and outs of the industry.
I’m not particularly shy and I have zero issues with nudity. I am, shall we say “intimitely familiar with myself”, and not bothered who knows it. Most of all, thanks to years of other people helping themselves to my body, it isn’t that huge a step to give it away. Seemed therefore a logical jump to turn that into something that could earn me money with little outlay for tech or setup. I could potentially earn hundreds of pounds which would keep the little ones fed and a roof over our heads for a little bit longer.
But I didn’t do it. And while I have since joked about it with Gaz and indeed on twitter, I don’t think I could. If nothing else but because old wounds are healing, and I’m not sure having money in my back pocket is worth opening them up again.
23 Sep at 1:26 am
It’s interesting how people’s views on their body, and to the degree they are okay with being seen, is so varied.
When I think about exchanging my body as an object for money, I believe I have given up on myself as a worthwhile human being. That I’m waving the white flag and saying, “Ok men. You rule this world. I will shut up and be your sex object.” Has this crossed your mind?
Also, what would the privacy and safety be like? Will you eventually have to deal with people who need to know your home address, etc.
23 Sep at 9:43 am
That’s not how cam-girling works (and generalises men as being the only consumers of porn and that genre of content). It also assumes that the woman isn’t enjoying what she’s doing or that only men can enjoy sex or sexual content.
If a person’s worth is defined only by who has access to their physical self, then I am already worthless.
Nobody would need my address to see me wank off on video, but it wouldn’t take more than a minute or two for anyone with an ounce of tech savvy to source it anyway.
25 Sep at 11:50 am
I would never even consider it because it’d probably ruin my life/career, but I’d also never take a nude photo. I come from a relatively conservative community full of judgmental idiots… While I think belittling someone for doing sexual work is immoral, I’m not looking to be a martyr.
Also, it seems like tons of people in those fields suffer mentally because they’re constantly shamed and dehumanized. There’s so much baggage that comes with that money. So, yeah, I strongly agree with your not doing it. ^^