The Wayward Irregular

I Will Let The Alamo Drafthouse Get Me Pregnant

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 10 Jun 2013 12:00:32 +0000

People, other humans, they’ve damn near ruined everything. Fox hunting, hard narcotics for a head cold, and the Ecto Cooler—the great things in life are slowly phasing out from our day-to-day, usually an order from some Fresca drinking slick-shaven-sally in a grey suit, something about safety or child labor laws. I’d come close, as I [...]

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Felt Better for Three Minutes, Then I Got Even Prettier

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 12:00:48 +0000

Hello again, savages, Mikayla here. Matthew’s been busy getting ready for the second Tincture book to begin (June 3rd – tincturestory.com), so he’s been super lazy here at the Irregular. To showcase this, the following is an excerpt from that book of essays he wrote back in 2011, you know, the one he slapped together [...]

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Email Is Fodder for Corporate Anarchy

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 12:00:41 +0000

An email loaded with amorphous detail rings out in the morning, and by the afternoon, we will taste human flesh for the first time. Sometimes jobs are like this. Email is the fodder for corporate anarchy, some press release about our jobs written in newspeak, vague on detail and ripe for the scuttlebutt. Everyone imagines [...]

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Matthew Norman, The Famous Author, Once Toiled Among the Commoners

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 12:00:32 +0000

Matthew Norman thrust his bulk upon the device, and with a hot breath into its data port, he de-virginized my Kindle. Let me back up. He’s the author of Domestic Violets, a novel released back in 2011, the story of Tom Violet and his milquetoast existence out in some fictitious middle-middle class somewhere. I had [...]

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And Our Lust Continued: The Super Nintendo Christmas

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 24 Dec 2012 19:38:02 +0000

I had known it for years, but Christmas morning in 1993 cemented my presumptions: my parents were terrible liars. I believe I had spent the first few hours of the night in my bed, feigning sleep, but at least six or seven of them were spent on the toilet staring at my red digital watch, [...]

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The Joe Rogan Parade Float: Icky Sticky in the Mile High

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 12:00:57 +0000

They’ve made it legal out here in the Rockies to commune with the skunk, every one of us now buckling into the hand-basket and punching in for armageddon. We emerge from our homes in an astonished buzz, the future has finally arrived, and its rung in by hippies wearing tuxedo t-shirts, silently clinking wedding spoons [...]

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Halloween Is Dangerous, and We Should All Be Afraid of Everything

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 12:00:41 +0000

I held out my pillow case, and the old woman gripping a bag of “popcorn balls” demanded that I “show her a trick,” so I briefly considered kicking out her brittle knee and screaming “abracadabra” into her oversized hearing aid. This was not a time for nonsense. This was Halloween, and there was a simple [...]

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“Tincture” Has Moved, But Loves You And Isn’t Trying To Replace Your Real Dad

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 22 Oct 2012 12:00:59 +0000

Salutations cadre, this is Mikayla, Matthew’s wife, and I’m addressing you savages so it sounds more important the next time you hear the deep caramel bass of my husband’s voice, or whatever. Last May, The Wayward Irregular introduced a short story series called Tincture, and it’s apparently resonated strongly with the five or six of [...]

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The Red Baron and His Demonstrable Pizza-Related Betrayal

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 03 Sep 2012 12:00:15 +0000

I’d asked the young man behind the automated scanning machine to repeat himself, and this was merely an effort to prevent TR, my companion, from absolving the man of his larynx with a roll of breath mint candies. “Young man,” I began, “the gentleman to my left is TR Schroder, my companion in manners such [...]

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Young People and the Poison That’s Made Me Terminally Uncool

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 12:00:30 +0000

So I’m in this meeting at work, and this meeting is about young people, and in this meeting I realize I’m an old person—I am now a peer to my peers—and I’m woefully short on stool softener. Addressing the reader–e.g. you, right damned now—isn’t something I’ve been wary of during these tangential brain dumps, these [...]

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Those Delicious, Delicious Floor Beans

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 12:00:46 +0000

I’ve re-introduced coffee into my life, and it’s decisions like these that put me in my office chair at three in the morning with a bloody nose, stark naked and trying to order the owner’s manual for a 1973 Dodge Dart, an automobile I’ve never owned. I’ve fallen off the caffeine wagon, hard, and I [...]

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The Unified Rules of Abandoned Office Food

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 12:00:27 +0000

This isn’t the first office I’ve flattened my ass in, but the rules among the beasts never change—you need to think fast, never abandon food, and bared gums are a clear sign of aggression. You have to be a hunter, a cutthroat with a ragged blade and thick merciless ichor in your veins for when [...]

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Glutton King of the Ten Circus Buffet

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 12:00:36 +0000

I’ve been having aberrant fantasies about a neon striped seafood buffet somewhere in the middle of the desert. I’m doing my best to arrange a vacation getaway to Las Vegas, the land of vice and degenerate corruption, dancing people in Asian-themed face paints and all manner of glimmer and noise. For me, the crux to [...]

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Clearly You Would Sleep Through a Tornado, and I Might Let it Take You

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 12:00:51 +0000

It started with what sounded like a soft gurgle just a few inches behind my neck, and when my bare toes started to soak with rain water, I relinquished all hope for this damned ugly day and the whole sullied week. There’s not much room for pause when your office starts flooding, and after the [...]

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Into the Mountain Zoo for Death by a Thousand Dog Kisses

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 12:00:27 +0000

When I woke up on Sunday morning, little did I know that by lunchtime I’d be deep in the mountains, sitting on a piss stained rug in some stranger’s remote indoor zoo, a pocket full of cash and the realization that there was literally nowhere to run. Dogs, this whole thing is about dogs and [...]

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The First Sticking Point is the Word “Dinner” as a Singular Event

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 12:00:03 +0000

The whole scene collapses my brain like a whoopee cushion: I’m no longer sixteen years old, and Taco Bell is no longer a “quick decision” kind of thing. It’s laborious. No longer can I wade up to the counter and start picking out items—something they’ve newly rearranged from only six ingredients—then start eating it like [...]

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Vague Streams of Thought in General Regard to a Midwestern Something

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 12:00:11 +0000

In all things, in the trials and tribulations of life, there is solace in casserole. Think calmly, think midwestern people, think midwestern things. Wooden spice racks, communal suppers and the special sort of calm that accompanies the orange dusk of a hard day’s work. The sun sets, slowly drifting underground, and your skin is cracked [...]

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Allen Masterton and the Beautiful Music He Prays You’ll Never Hear

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 12:00:22 +0000

Without getting terribly country-western in this opening sentence, I’ll submit the following: I’ve got friends in weird places, and sometimes, they sing pretty songs. I’ve loaded up the computer with a tall stack of music, and it’s all performed by one finicky and difficult near-ginger artist, my close friend, Allen Masterton. Allen’s one of those [...]

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Long Drives, Failed Stratagem, and the Time I Peed All Over My Car

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:00:31 +0000

Every night, right before a much deserved period of unconsciousness, I enter the bathroom and perform a ritual—a ritual convincing my wife that my mind has finally snapped. Everyone pees before bed, a quick micturition to get the pipes all clear and keep the weird dreams about watersides and lemonade stands far from the bedside [...]

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The Client Wishes Only For Your Death: Terrible Advice from a Freelancing Insider

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 12:00:51 +0000

I’m sitting here, a pint sized Hoyo de Monterrey balanced on this ancient keyboard, and things are turning squirrely. There’s a solid length now between me and the days of pawing over a feed reader, each post a possible morsel of sustenance, each headline some terrible missile aimed for my guts. I don’t write about [...]

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It’s Big, Ugly, Brazilian and Brilliant: Ice Packs and Bro-Fights

Matthew Jordan — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 12:00:02 +0000

What a strange new hobby I’ve adopted, this last year spent writhing around under florescent lights with men whom intend me harm, gnashing teeth and painful grunts—I think this is what the 80’s were like. I do this by choice, the writhing and wrestling thing. Hours upon hours of each week dedicated to the art [...]

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Future Televisions and the Dirty Blood Credits

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 12:00:08 +0000

Wandering into an electronics store and buying an expensive television off the wall, on a whim, is like stuffing a cooked ham into a tube sock and referring to it by a woman’s name—that is to say, the activity completely baffles me. White haired fifty something’s with popped windbreaker collars and spotless internet shoes seem [...]

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And the Horsemen Came, And They Feared the Man Nathan Fillion

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 12:00:35 +0000

In my years on this planet I’ve arrived at two infallible truths: Ranch dressing has no discernible equal, and Nathan Fillion needs to star in a goddamn blockbuster movie already. I’ve had enough of the Twitter campaigns, blog posts, speculation, want, lust, need, and all manner of gripping your knees in a cold shower and [...]

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When We First Learned of Lust: The Nintendo Christmas

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 12:00:54 +0000

Much like ranch dressing, Thriller, and the Sears catalog—The Nintendo Entertainment System shaped my life in ways that were both very important and wildly confusing. When the thing first arrived on our shores, it cost about ten-kerbillion American dollars, so for most of the lower middle class, we had to wait a few years for [...]

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Alex Blumberg and the Womp Womp Box

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 12:00:48 +0000

There’s a certain level of self awareness required to enjoy sloppy fast-food ice cream in the company of another man. Generally, for those of my ilk, it’s a devious and perverse little slice of life—sitting alone in a quiet room and absorbing every calorie, savoring each granule of processed sugar, the promise to yourself that [...]

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Ancient Squares of Cardboard, and All That Valueless Postage

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 12:00:14 +0000

My younger brother briefly showed an interest in baseball, and as a result, his grandchildren will likely snort off-world caviar from the bellybutton of alien slaves. I had my brief affair with the game, but it was rather fleeting, manifesting in a couple of those long-triangle felt banners that young boys used to tape to [...]

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Changing Chairs with The Licorice Stick

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:00:12 +0000

I once played the clarinet for seven years, and it was those kinds of decisions that set the tone for much of my adolescence. For my graduating class, the whole band thing started in the fifth grade, and I think we were picking out our instruments at the end of the fourth. As with most [...]

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It’s Not Going to Win, It’s Not Going to Claim My Body

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 12:00:01 +0000

It’s that moment where I feel the virus dig in and take hold, the moment where I contemplate throwing myself out of a window—the moment when I realize I’ve got a cold, and I’m going to spend the next several days leaking. The shades come down with a dangerous mechanical slam, red lights and sirens [...]

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Now We’re Knuckle-Deep Into This Geek Foolery

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 12:00:39 +0000

I was home, but I had to eat fast—three men in Texas were waiting for me. It was more like ten, eight for sure—we’d pick up the last two if necessary—but three of them were in Texas and they were ready to get murderous. Dammit, I forgot the caffeine, things are going to get heavy [...]

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The Fruit Magic About Jade Stone Machines and Electromagnetic Floor Mats

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 12:00:19 +0000

After an hour on the mat, I struggled to feel the jade working it’s magic, and as I pretended to imagine toxins leaving my body, I planned an escape. The mechanical bed was fit with pounds of jade stone, apparently blessed with flute music or some mystical nonsense that probably involved a self-anointed priest, eagle [...]

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Dreary Fluorescence In Tractor Country

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:00:26 +0000

The man was a redneck, more so than the the kind Nebraska traditionally produced, like he was born over an ancient redneck burial ground, or grew up over a redneck fault-line of some sort. Taylor and I clicked right from the starting pistol, meeting at community college and quickly bonding over a love of sock [...]

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He Quietly Cuts Himself When the Guitarist Doesn’t Wipe Down the Pizza Stations

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 12:00:52 +0000

The rough looking Pizza Hut located about a mile from my home has been taken over—and successfully operated—by a hardcore metal band currently taking a break between albums. This is an assumption mind you, as I can find no alternative explanation for the gruff crowd that serves me soda and swipes my credit card at [...]

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We All Stand in a Triangle Here: Downtown Folk Have a Crooked Language

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 12:00:07 +0000

Fifty paces from a coffee shop hawking overpriced sandwiches, I witness some kind of dusted-up vagrant using a Diet Coke can as a toilet, and it was then I knew I was downtown. The peoples of downtown live in a variety of converted housing, old rat hovels repainted and laid with mahogany floors, or new [...]

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Boiled Highways and Gravel Mountain Suicides

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 12:00:34 +0000

Wild and rumbly, the car was an impostor, and when we sped together over back-county mountains, I knew it tried damned hard to keep me from killing myself. It was a fourteen-hundred dollar maroon behemoth, a 1978 Mercury Cougar with a cracked windshield that spent it’s original years under a tarp in some old codger’s [...]

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He Sleeps on Old License Plates and Has To Fight Rats for His Dinner

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 12:00:10 +0000

My bulldog, whom I hold in higher regard than many of my contemporaries, looks as though he’s been living in a tire fire for the past six years. Dogs get skin infections, I now know, and dogs with wrinkles get them in horrible ways. What starts as a little spot we treat with ointments, slowly [...]

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The Gentleman’s Guide to Smoking a Tobacco Pipe (Without Looking Like a Hipster)

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 12:00:54 +0000

Learning the fine art of the tobacco pipe can be a tremendously rewarding experience, just so long as you don’t look like a complete tool-bag while doing it. For nearly as long as our species has been roasting food over a fire, we’ve been altering the tobacco leaf and dancing with it’s introspective ghosts. I’ve [...]

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It’s Probably Long Division or an Ancient Germanic Language

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 12:00:16 +0000

While sitting in the front row and struggling to comprehend how one is expected to divide numbers using a little slash, it hit me like a chalkboard eraser to the eyeball: I was going to remain in the third grade for eternity. It was wild how quickly I accepted the fate – I would sit [...]

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There’s a Special Quiet In The Cloudy Ones That Does It For Me

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 12:00:16 +0000

The disagreement: A gentleman with whom I work tells me that the best way to take your meals is outdoors, and I respectfully tell him that he is a godless heathen. He loves it – can’t possibly absorb enough sunlight and bathe himself all over under it’s vitamin enriched rays. The context: When you’re queuing [...]

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Perhaps The Yellow Bag is a Multi-Purpose Survival Device

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 12:00:32 +0000

When they opened a new IKEA store a few miles from my home, little did I know this would prepare me for inter-galactic space travel. The titan blue box finished it’s month long and near-silent birth only recently – the store pasted against the horizon as a deity defiant monolith marked in four letters from [...]

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There’s One For Each of Us, and Mine Is Called Keith and The Girl

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 12:00:59 +0000

Everyone has a morning show they watch or listen to, regardless of how accurate the words before that comma truly are. Part of the waking routine for the living can vary – coffee, a shower, blowing your nose and lighting a cigarette, wildly scrambling a fresh corpse from your bed then calling your dad’s lawyer, [...]

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Ten Ton Fantasies, The Taibbi Man Crush, and I’ve Never Read Ellison

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 12:00:50 +0000

Often, I sit down with eight fingers on the middle row, and not a damn thing other than a messy sneeze can get them active. They say – the royal they – they say that in order to be a writer you must simply keep writing. Marvelous, thanks they. The advice boils down to doing [...]

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The Inexhaustible Patience of P. Finnegan and the Terrible Funnel of Questions

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 12:00:26 +0000

When hired at the agency where I shared space with an indomitably patient Irishman, little did he know that my presence would eventually correlate to his daydreams involving elaborate suicide. I’ll save you the backstory for this multifarious ride, the job, the people, the locations and all the things. This brief tale will be our [...]

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The Treasure Cave, The Gorilla, The Cliff Diver, Rolling Music and Bubble Guns

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 12:00:40 +0000

You don’t simply experience Casa Bonita, Casa Bonita is thrust upon you. The restaurant, tethered to our realm in Lakewood Colorado, translates from the Spanish directly into “Beautiful House,” or “Oiled Beef.” The place is organic, breathing in and out, its tendrils plunge into your mind the second it’s name is mentioned in mild conversation. [...]

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More Dark Stuff: Savage Grief for Internet Explorer 6

Matthew Jordan — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 12:00:13 +0000

Audio temporarily offline. If the internet browsers Firefox, Safari, and Chrome are your chiseled jaw pioneers – convertible cars and pitch black hair that never moves, then Internet Explorer yields more the image of an elderly gray sweater sitting in the corner, throwing offered spoons of cornmeal across the room in a wet-lipped fit. Only [...]

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Automata: Hallowed Be Thy Game

Matthew Jordan — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 07:45:05 +0000

Dark noir flows over New York, the swath of tonight’s brush is wide and grim. The 18th amendment has passed, and with it the cessation of all robotproduction - if it makes you toast it’s permissible, but if it reminds you to pick up more bread at the grocery - you’re heading for the pokey on a one-way...

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It’s On The Top Shelf, Next To The Cardboard Box of Heeby Jeebies

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 12:00:37 +0000

There is a program we’re able to watch on our collective radio-with-pictures boxes, and it’s aptly dubbed Unsolved Mysteries – a show that literally accomplishes nothing. It comes on, peels your eyes open, then pours a slurry of nightmares into your tender ocular meats, all while playing a synthesized theme song. It’ll tell you about [...]

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Marijuana Dispensaries Are The Great Evil Devil Satan

Matthew Jordan — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:00:34 +0000

We are at the precipice of the “adult book store” for a generation who grew up with Nirvana as make-out music; we the pastel thinkers, we the children of the flannel button-up. In Colorado, legend goes, there’s a medical marijuana dispensary (read: retail outlet) to match every Starbucks in-state serving up burnt cups of coffee. [...]

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The Burnout Even Keeps it in the Bathroom

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 21:04:19 +0000

Plodding to face the bathroom mirror completely in the nude wasn’t the issue, it was the pinch in my right elbow that encouraged me to consider other dimensions in space-time. The routine for years has been an unknowing homage to whatever pasty large Aryan toe heads I share ancestral DNA with, those battle axe people, [...]

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Merlin Mann: Productivity Demiurge (or) My Job Isn’t Abusive, I Just Ran Into The Door

Matthew Jordan — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 12:00:20 +0000

“Money is the reason people say they leave a job, but culture is the reason that money became an issue.” - Merlin Mann, Time & Attention

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Pastel Flirtations In Showbiz: The Rock-afire Explosion

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 10 May 2010 12:00:21 +0000

A quiet hush, a me-ma-me, and a clearing throat – all wisps slicing the quiet preparation behind the curtain. On it’s other side things are vibrant and full of life – youth dancing and feasting in celebration of another happy season, these things take so long year to year. The lights are dim, but spirits [...]

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Feeding From Craigslist: A Tragedy In Five Examples

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 13:42:22 +0000

Having freelanced for a goodly set of years now, I’ve been required to scrummage a chicken bone or two from the mighty internet machine phenomenon known as Craigslist. If you aren’t familiar with what exactly Craigslist is – allow me to lay the information over your brain in moist strips in an elegant way that [...]

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The Motley Talents of Jonas Friendly: Bones And All

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:00:32 +0000

A quick note: The following work of fiction is a conclusion to part one, the tale of a rubber thumbed recluse named Mr. Friendly. As before, it’s a little more dark than the fare you may be accustomed to from your humble author, so I’d like to caution the more sensitive readers / listeners. Maybe [...]

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The Motley Talents of Jonas Friendly

Matthew Jordan — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 14:00:41 +0000

A quick note: The following work of fiction is a little more dark than the fare you may be accustomed to from your humble author, so I’d like to caution the more sensitive readers / listeners. Maybe skip this one if you’re squeamish, have problems with violence, or are nauseated by birthday cake. Otherwise, please [...]

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The Wayward Irregular

I Will Let The Alamo Drafthouse Get Me Pregnant

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Felt Better for Three Minutes, Then I Got Even Prettier

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Email Is Fodder for Corporate Anarchy

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Matthew Norman, The Famous Author, Once Toiled Among the Commoners

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And Our Lust Continued: The Super Nintendo Christmas

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The Joe Rogan Parade Float: Icky Sticky in the Mile High

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Halloween Is Dangerous, and We Should All Be Afraid of Everything

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“Tincture” Has Moved, But Loves You And Isn’t Trying To Replace Your Real Dad

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The Red Baron and His Demonstrable Pizza-Related Betrayal

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Young People and the Poison That’s Made Me Terminally Uncool

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Those Delicious, Delicious Floor Beans

The Unified Rules of Abandoned Office Food

Glutton King of the Ten Circus Buffet

Clearly You Would Sleep Through a Tornado, and I Might Let it Take You

Into the Mountain Zoo for Death by a Thousand Dog Kisses

The First Sticking Point is the Word “Dinner” as a Singular Event

Vague Streams of Thought in General Regard to a Midwestern Something

Allen Masterton and the Beautiful Music He Prays You’ll Never Hear

Long Drives, Failed Stratagem, and the Time I Peed All Over My Car

The Client Wishes Only For Your Death: Terrible Advice from a Freelancing Insider

It’s Big, Ugly, Brazilian and Brilliant: Ice Packs and Bro-Fights

Future Televisions and the Dirty Blood Credits

And the Horsemen Came, And They Feared the Man Nathan Fillion

When We First Learned of Lust: The Nintendo Christmas

Alex Blumberg and the Womp Womp Box

Ancient Squares of Cardboard, and All That Valueless Postage

Changing Chairs with The Licorice Stick

It’s Not Going to Win, It’s Not Going to Claim My Body

Now We’re Knuckle-Deep Into This Geek Foolery

The Fruit Magic About Jade Stone Machines and Electromagnetic Floor Mats

Dreary Fluorescence In Tractor Country

He Quietly Cuts Himself When the Guitarist Doesn’t Wipe Down the Pizza Stations

We All Stand in a Triangle Here: Downtown Folk Have a Crooked Language

Boiled Highways and Gravel Mountain Suicides

He Sleeps on Old License Plates and Has To Fight Rats for His Dinner

The Gentleman’s Guide to Smoking a Tobacco Pipe (Without Looking Like a Hipster)

It’s Probably Long Division or an Ancient Germanic Language

There’s a Special Quiet In The Cloudy Ones That Does It For Me

Perhaps The Yellow Bag is a Multi-Purpose Survival Device

There’s One For Each of Us, and Mine Is Called Keith and The Girl

Ten Ton Fantasies, The Taibbi Man Crush, and I’ve Never Read Ellison

The Inexhaustible Patience of P. Finnegan and the Terrible Funnel of Questions

The Treasure Cave, The Gorilla, The Cliff Diver, Rolling Music and Bubble Guns

More Dark Stuff: Savage Grief for Internet Explorer 6

Automata: Hallowed Be Thy Game

It’s On The Top Shelf, Next To The Cardboard Box of Heeby Jeebies

Marijuana Dispensaries Are The Great Evil Devil Satan

The Burnout Even Keeps it in the Bathroom

Merlin Mann: Productivity Demiurge (or) My Job Isn’t Abusive, I Just Ran Into The Door

Pastel Flirtations In Showbiz: The Rock-afire Explosion

Feeding From Craigslist: A Tragedy In Five Examples

The Motley Talents of Jonas Friendly: Bones And All

The Motley Talents of Jonas Friendly