How do you know when you should trust someone who wants to do business with you? It could be a colleague, client, vendor, or consultant. You may be looking for their assistance or you want to help them. It could backfire. We have all had one of those experiences. I just got out of one.

If you have an unpleasant experience, does that mean you should stop trusting people immediately or is this a great opportunity to figure out where it went wrong? I vote for the latter.

Before I get to into what I learned, let us talk about the trust quotient, it measures trustworthiness. Charles H. Green lays it nicely in his post here, with reference material from The Trusted Advisor and Trust-Based Selling.

The key components of the trust quotient include:

1. Credibility
   
2. Results
3. Intimacy
4. Self Orientation

Quite simply, the more C+R+I, the higher the trust we have in someone as long as S is low.

Each of these factors are equally weighted, however, since there is only one factor in the denominator, it carries greater significance in establishing your trustworthiness score.

There are a number of ways that trust begins to erode such as if our focus becomes me-centered or there is inconsistency with our words, actions or behaviors. According to Green, the more a person focuses on his or her own needs versus their customer or other people’s needs  – the lower the trustworthiness score.

Why is the trust quotient so important? It gave me a framework to diagnose the situation and identify where it went wrong. Here is my analysis:

There were some assumptions that did not play out as expected. There was a lack of direct experience working with them. I assumed (I know what they say about word) that they knew how to deliver results and do what they say they will do.

Intimacy was one-sided. This is where I probably read the tealeaves incorrectly from the start. There were clues – but I was focusing on the wrong person. They brought me into their confidence and I was feeling warm and fuzzy. I did not test them with my confidences.

There was a strong me-centered orientation from the other person. This caught me off guard. Know the lines of demarcation on the type of relationship you have with the other person – partner, team member, employee or subcontractor in the project. Differing approaches may set up mismatched expectations with the other person.

Timing, timing, timing. Circumstances create situations where you make a gut call on someone. There was not enough time to gather all the information in the trust quotient to make a informed decision.

Clearly, the trust quotient is going to be a part of my assessment of working with clients and colleagues in the future. It is a powerful and simple equation yielding quick results. If you are interested in learning what your own trustworthiness score is today, take the quiz here.

It may give you some insight into how well your glue is sticking when connecting with others.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

Do not view the organization as a static monolith that is the end-all of efficiency for your situation. Bend the structure to meet current situations. If you have an environment of trust and a well-internalized plan, you can shift things around easily. That is a huge advantage over organizations that view structure as something fixed until heaven and earth are moved to change it.

Ken Blanchard tells a story of a Motor Vehicles Bureau in California that illustrates this. He had so many unpleasant memories of long lines and wrong forms that he avoided physical visits at all costs. Finally, when forced to show up in person, he was delighted to see the exact opposite of the stereotype. He got great service and was out with a new license (including a new picture) in 9 minutes. He went to complement the manager, asking how he made the organization work so much better. The manager replied, “My job is to reorganize the Department on a moment to moment basis, depending on citizen need.” That attitude changed the whole customer experience from one of dread and horror to adoration.

In my other articles, I have concentrated on the perils of leadership transitions and cautioned against too much turmoil. The coin has another side, however, and that is to create learning opportunities for leaders to prevent stagnation. Do this with care because of the pitfalls listed above, but don’t ignore it. Use it to keep leaders fresh and challenged.

You might have leaders swap positions for a time. This technique has many interesting advantages and some challenges. Leaders become entrenched in their thinking if they do the same thing too long. Their perspective becomes parochial, no matter how objective their intentions. Assuming the role of another person helps perspective and also keeps groups reporting to both people in balance.

This technique is particularly effective for leaders who are bickering over personnel or turf issues. Sitting in the other person’s chair for a year or two helps both leaders see how parochial they were. It is often unpopular with both the leaders and their constituents, so be prepared for some pushback if you propose this. In the end it works extremely well, but it is usually a tough sell.

You can also achieve flexibility by pulling an incumbent leader off for a critical assignment. Let the group be led by someone else in the organization. This allows you to test leadership capability of the substitute in a risk-free way. It also allows the moved leader to get a break and gain new perspective.

Robert T. Whipple is the CEO of Leadergrow Inc., a teaching and consulting company.

Emotional hurt. “I never understood how some people can be so hurtful to the ones they were closest to,” is a comment I read recently.

It really does not matter if the person hurting you is at work or outside of work. The dynamics are the same.

The truth is if you feel hurt by someone, it is because you have made some level of investment in the relationship. If the relationship is going along well, you feel great, if someone stumbles, you feel the pain. Yes, it is a sign that you care.

Do you wonder how the same action or comment affects people differently? One person may be hurt, while another person does not even pay attention to it.

Could it be that people who do not let it bother them – just do not care enough to let it affect them? It is hard to hurt someone who does not care about your actions and opinions.

Can you emotionally hurt someone who you are not close to? It is less likely to happen, if both parties do not care about each other.

There are situations where the other person may not realize they are doing something that is hurtful.

Consider this, if there is a disconnect with two people – one person feels hurt and other does not realize it, then one of these conditions may exist:

• someone is not strongly tied to the success of the pair
• one person has more investment in the relationship than the other person
• one party is oblivious to being hurtful
• someone is intentionally hurting the other person because they know they can
• sometimes we do dumb things because we are human

Think about situations, conditions and implications for how people can hurt you.

Next, think about how you may have hurt others. Remember to consider your work and personal life. When things fell apart, can you relate it to one of these conditions?

Bottom line: You can really only be hurt by people who you care about – regardless if they care about you.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

I met him several years ago when he was a client of mine. When he left the corporate world to start his own business, he called me up and asked for some advice and support. Today, Mike Dalton is a successful consultant who just wrote his first book – and he contributes to Elephants at Work. I had the honor of seeing an advance production copy to provide feedback.

It is fascinating to learn about how someone gets a book written. What process do they use, what obstacles did they face? Find out about how Mike handled it.

Mike, at what point did you come up with the idea to write a book about Innovation?  What was your inspiration?

When I was responsible for the new business development and innovation process for SC Johnson & Son’s polymer business (now BASF), my team started trying to use some of the TOC concepts to improve new product success. Then one day on a long car ride to see a customer, some of the guys on my team and I were talking about how it would make a good business novel. Ever since reading Eli Goldratt’s seminal work, The Goal: A Process of Ongoing Improvement, I have always enjoyed that format. I am a big fan of Patrick Lencioni’s work too (The Four Obsessions of an Extraordinary Executive: A Leadership Fable,  The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable, etc). Anyway, we even sketched out a story outline just to entertain ourselves in the car.  Nothing came of it at the time, but it planted the seed still it was the seed of an idea to write a business novel on innovation.

Once you had the idea, how long did it take you to get started?

Well that was about 5 or six years ago. Early on though, it just seemed like someone else must have already seen the role TOC could play. I did not take it too seriously. Later in 2006, when I started Guided Innovation Group, my innovation coaching and consulting firm, my research showed that no one else had made that connection – or if they had, they were keeping it to themselves. Then as my practice developed, I really began to flesh out what I call the Guided Innovation System and some of my other tools like Customer Value Lens and Guided Innovation Mapping. It was over the last 3 years where that original idea germinated and then eventually blossomed into Simplifying Innovation.

Who was your champion?

I am not sure I had any one champion; there have been many giving people as I have developed this approach.

Several successful independent consultants that I worked with over the years, like Dr. Jim Hlavacek, Dr. Gene Slowinski, and Dr. Matt Sagal, all advised me early on that a book is critical to differentiating yourself.

Then during the writing and peer review process, I got help from many people, including several TOC luminaries, like Bill Dettmer and Dr. Lisa Lang. They provided great feedback and helped me fine-tune my approach even further for the final edit.

Did you have a goal to finish by a certain date?

I did – In July of 2009; I set a goal to write my first draft in 100 days and to have the book selling on Amazon right after the start of the New Year.

Did you make that date? If not, what where some of the hurdles?

I am happy to say that I did reach both goals. Of course, since the book teaches some planning and project management techniques, it would have been pretty lame.

As far as hurdles, just fitting it all in to a six month window was a big one. To do that I used one of my own techniques, Guided Innovation Mapping, where I worked backwards from my goal to identify the obstacles and then built a plan to get around all of them within my time line. I ended up carving out two hours a day for writing and then two more hours for some of the production and marketing tasks.  I started in July and had a complete manuscript in early October.

Tell us some more about other hurdles. What was the most difficult one? How did you overcome it?

Learning to write in a novel format was probably the biggest hurdle. While I am a big fan of the format, I am not sure I would recommend that anyone attempt it without a safety net.  It is kind of funny too, because that’s exactly what Carol Ptak warned me from her experience with Necessary but Not Sufficient: A Theory of Constraints Business Novel, a business novel she wrote together with Eli Goldratt and Eli Schragenheim.

Mike's Storyboard

The reason it is so hard is that it is like writing two books at the same time. You have to write a business book that teaches all of the important points the reader needs to know. At the same time, you have to create a novel with compelling characters and an interesting challenge so that the reader is immersed in the experience. The hard part is that they have to be intertwined. You can only teach at certain parts in the story, as certain conflicts are uncovered or resolved. The story can only progress as the teaching moments present themselves. Eventually, the only way I could keep it all straight, was with a graphical, color-coded storyboard that let me keep track of all of the different elements. I really learned a lot about writing in the process.

Were there any parallels to writing the book and your story in Simplifying Innovation: Doubling speed to market and new product profits – with your existing resources?

Oh, very much so. You know one of the things that I teach in the book is fully exploiting your innovation bottleneck. One of the ways you do that is by making sure you are addressing an unmet need. For me, the unmet need became companies not being able to improve the impact they get from their investment in new product innovation.

Well, improving innovation is definitely a place where companies struggle. It is amazing really. There are all these strategies and experts out there advising companies on innovation, but 50% of CEO’s are still dissatisfied with their return on R&D spending. If you look at the US manufacturing sector alone, $75 Billion (that is right – billion with a B) is wasted on ineffective innovation. That may be rounding error compared to what Washington spends, but in the real world, companies are spending 20-50% of their net earnings on R&D without seeing the return they expect. We have to do better than that. But, how?

As you know, I am a big picture guy, so stepping back from the issues, it became clear that there are all these great ideas, concepts and tools out there, but no clear framework of how to apply continuous improvement principles to new product and service development. Inside companies, everyone complains about not having enough resources, but CEO’s already feels like they are spending too much as it is. The real root of the problem is they do not know how to systematically attack the problem at its leverage point – the innovation bottleneck.  Put simply, it is how to get more out of what they are already investing – it is the unmet need.

What was the biggest Ah Ha you had while going through this process?

I would have to say that my Ah Ha moment was in coming up with the final title – I started writing with the working title of Innovation Flywheel – marketing and innovation working together to create momentum. About half way through the writing, the simplifying theme had emerged as a predominant part of the storyline. That is when it hit me – Innovation will always be a complex process; improvement should not be.  There is so much clutter out there making it hard for leaders to focus; what I was really providing was not just improvement, it was a framework for simplifying improvement of the innovation process – and doing so with the resources, you already have.

Then, over Thanksgiving break, I read Goldratt’s recent book, The Choice. That just further confirmed for me that I had chosen the right title and theme. He talks extensively about what he calls inherent simplicity–How TOC simplifies improvement and change by showing you where the leverage point is. It was quite gratifying to see that I had independently stumbled upon the same path.

Thanks for the inspiration, Mike! If you need someone with his insight and talent, give him a call today.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

A consultant approaches a CEO and suggests, “If you improve your employees’ as well as your ability to listen, you will profoundly impact your bottom line.” Can you hear the response? “They just need to do as they are told,” or “We just invested in the best equipment money can buy, they just need to do their job!” In his article, “Better Listening for Business and Personal Success, James Patterson stated, “You can trace 99.99% of all the problems we have at work back to some breakdown in communication. More specifically, the problem normally is a failure to listen.”

All too often, soft skills are thought of as a nice thing to have, but not something that can dramatically improve profits. Yet research indicates many areas where not listening has cost a company or in fact a nation millions of dollars. Think of the following examples.

• A supervisor who does not listen to his or her people will cause poor morale and disrupt the flow of information. When employees do not feel heard, they quit communicating resulting in the lack of critical information a leader needs to make effective decisions. A poor decision in one part of a business can result in a ripple effect across the entire organization.

• One of the main reasons individuals leave an organization is due to the relationship with their immediate supervisor and exit surveys indicate that a major cause is the employee never felt heard by their supervisor. The cost to replace an individual can reach 150% of their salary according to Wm. Bliss of Bliss & Associates, Inc. including recruitment costs, training costs, lost productivity, new hire costs and lost sales revenue.

• Think of the role of listening in decision-making. Often we come to a conclusion of the way things ought to be solved and go into a meeting with our mind made up. We are not open to exchanging ideas or viewpoints with others and only thinking of our rebuttal as others speak. The auto industry failed to listen to their customer’s desire for smaller vehicles and debated why they should continue to build large vehicles, only to find they are losing market share and facing bankruptcy.

• Another short-coming is when we judge the messenger as not being competent. When we negatively label people as uninformed, we do not listen to what that person says, and we limit our ability to gather all the information needed to make an informed decision. Think of the stories such as 9/11 or the Challenger explosions where individuals tried to warn higher ranking officials about impending tragedy. You should judge only the information after it is received, and you have taken time to consider other options.

On the other hand, when employees feel heard, they will continue to communicate openly. Bob Schmidt of the University at Notre Dame states, “Great leaders listen to their associates and make them feel that their thoughts have been given consideration.” When Lauren Dixon of Dixon-Schwabl was selected as “2008 Best Small Business in America” to work for, she received a report outlining her employee’s comments. Although overwhelmingly positive, she noticed one concern involving the lack of parking. Per Lauren, that day she formed a task force to enlarge the parking lot and it was quickly resolved. This type of action screams “I hear you” and “I respect what you are saying.” By investing in your employees’ ability to listen productivity, morale and ultimately the bottom line are dramatically affected.

Last year, I attended a mind mapping seminar. If you do not know what a mind map is, go here for a quick summary or scroll down to the bottom of the post for a video.

Mind mapping is a powerful tool, which appeals to both right and left-brain thinkers. It is allows you to become more productive in your business and personal life.  Here is a short list of situations where you might use it:

• Creating content for presentations
• Problem solving
• Designing a website
• Developing a business plan
• Project planning
• Brainstorming
• Information management
• Prioritization
• Personal development
• Be more creative
• Organizing information
• Communicate effectively

There is an overwhelming number of products out there which do some form of mind mapping, diagramming or other visual thinking service. It was time to compile a list, partly because I would like to settle in with one of these tools; the other reason is I want to hear what you think about them before I make a decision.

• Buzan World- Mind map originator Tony Buzan’s website and product site iMindMap®
• NovaMind – check out some of the educational videos on what mind mapping is about and why you need it. Keep up to date on their blog here.
• Mindomo – internet and desktop applications with free basic starter and upgrade plans
• FreeMind – Free mind mapping software written in Java. Download available through this site.
• MindManager - A Mindjet product free trial or subscription is available. Applications for iPhone, remember to check out their template gallery.
• Mappio – A free website to share your mind map with others
• Comapping – Free to low subscription rates for online mind mapping software. Beta desktop version is available.
• Edraw Soft – Vector based mind mapping freeware
• Mapul – Free web-based online mind mapping tool
• MindApp 6 – Free download trial available or take advantage of their special price of $29 for a limited time.
• Mindmeister – Free to enterprise plans available for online mind mapping. Featured maps.
• Xmind – Free and pro versions are available. Check out the XMind blog here to get new ideas.
• SmartDraw – Automatically draws and formats your mind mapping diagram.
• bubbl.us - Get started immediately when you land on this page – it is free. The video at the bottom of the page features this application.
• Glinkr – Open source, free web based mind mapping software, supported in Firefox, Opera and Internet Explorer.
• Mindview 3 – Professional mind mapping software with a free trial available
• Mind42 – Free web based application with the ability to collaborate.
• Visual Mind - Software based on the mind mapping technique.
• WiseMapping – Free software in beta version.
• Imagination Cubed – Free, free-form drawing program with limitations in creating mind mapping.
• Project Draw – Free drawing program with preformed basic shapes.
• Gliffy – Online diagram software that offers a free trial
• LooseStitch – Free or pay for pro. Create outlines and share documents.
• ThinkFold – Real time collaboration with work groups on projects, documents and presentations. Open source, free, beta version. Keep up to date on their blog here.
• Sproutliner – Free web based service to manage projects and ideas. Open source, beta version.
• Inspiration 9 – Visual mapping, outlining, writing and making presentations.

This is a quick video that shows how you can begin to mind map quickly.

Mind Mapping – Part One – Bubbl.us (a)

Now it is your turn. Which mind mapping products have you used? What do you like or dislike?

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

“When is it appropriate to handle issues by e-mail versus in person? Some people are very busy and don’t have time to sit and talk.” This is a follow up question from a reader on this recent post.

I wrote back to ask some questions about whether or not they were the boss or subordinate, here was their response.

“The boss is very busy, and he is that same age as me. He needs to let me know when he is free. SO e-mail verses talking in person. It probably means more talking in person. More effective, but don’t want to take too much time.”

Here is the scoop on being a boss. It means being available to your staff to discuss issues or situations.

If your boss is local, it is reasonable to expect to schedule a meeting within a few days or sooner if it is an emergency. If there is always a conflict, your boss is not taking his responsibilities for supervising, developing or managing his staff’s outcomes effectively.

Being a boss means setting time aside to do these activities on a daily basis. If they do not have the time, they have bigger issues with prioritizing or delegating their work. People management should be a high priority and if it is not, they may be in the wrong role.

Winning by Jack Welch addresses the role of top-notch leadership in organizations. If you get the Winning CD Set, listen to CD #3 (a refresher last week for me) where Jack talks specifically about management priorities. No surprise, he believes people management is at the top.

The best way to discuss a situation is face-to-face, eyeball-to-eyeball. Talking in person provides more opportunities for both parties to:

• Clarify what is being said
• Ask follow up questions
• Visibly see how the message is being received
• Respond quickly to confusion
• Measure the level of engagement and commitment
• Read body language
• Use appropriate eye contact
• Respond to generational and cultural differences

If a face-to-face is not possible, a phone conversation is the next viable approach. Here are some tips for making your phone call more successful:

• Listen carefully to the tone of the voice. If you think, the tone is sharp or non-responsive, request a face-to-face meeting.
• Be careful not to jump to conclusions. If in doubt, ask your boss to explain it again a different way.
• Recap the issue and what each of you commits to do and follow it up in writing.
• Do not feel stupid asking questions, if someone is unclear; continue to probe until you understand fully.

The last resort is using email to have a discussion. Is it quicker? Initially, yes – someone gets the issue off his or her desk and onto the other party’s to do list.

Is it better? No- chances are it will take longer to solve. Here are some watch outs:

• Both parties lose the ability to create a two way dialogue
• There is a loss of problem solving in real time
• The tone of email is open to interpretation of the receiver without the sender knowing something is being taken wrong
• Not everyone responds to emails quickly
• Brainstorming for ideas and solutions is nonexistent
• Relationships build more slowly because it is less personal
• Learn how to do it effectively if you must send one by reading here

Finally, do not let your manager off the hook. You have a right to discuss if you are on track with projects, people, resources and personal or organizational performance requirements with them. There is no reason to rush the conversation if you schedule ample time to cover the topic. If the boss’s time is that tight, schedule it over multiple meetings.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

In a recent Fast Company article and video on Open Forum, Dan & Chip Heath, co-authors of Made to Stick, look at how to explain new ideas – what your innovation is and what it does. If ideas aren’t readily accepted, they can die quickly, and there’s often a lot riding on getting it right – particularly for you as a manager or business owner. From a TOC or critical chain perspective, once your new product is launched, your constraint often becomes market acceptance. In some cases that means getting people to understand what your innovation is and how it can help them.

There are lots of things that can constrain how readily the market accepts your new product or innovation, but the Heaths cover a very important one: helping potential buyers quickly understand what the product is and what it does. Anchor and Twist are the two suggestions they offer—Anchor your product to something they already know. Twist to show how it’s different than everything else. Here’s an example with Palm’s new Pre phone:

First the anchor: The new Palm Pre phone is like Apple’s iPhone. Just another touchscreen smartphone…

Then the twist: But it has a slide out keyboard if you don’t want to use the touch screen and it can run multiple applications at the same time – something the iPhone can’t do (yet)

You might recognize anchor and twist as part of the unique selling proposition. The only thing I would add is the benefit. Why do they care? What’s in it for them (WIFT)?

Back to the Palm example—

WIFT: It can run multiple applications at the same time, which makes it easier to use. I can be writing an email, switch to my contacts to copy a phone number or address or jump over to Amazon to copy a link, and then hop back to the open email without having to restart the email application. A big deal when you use your smartphone for 50% of your emails.

So, to speed innovation acceptance and increase your new product sales, Anchor, Twist… and be clear on WIFT

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Mike Dalton is the author of Simplifying Innovation: Doubling speed to market and new product profits – with your existing resources

Mike Dalton’s innovation improvement framework was sharpened over 24 years of product development, marketing and executive leadership at the multi-billion dollar SC Johnson family of companies. Mike is also the founder of Guided Innovation Group, whose simple mission is helping companies turn their new product innovation into bottom-line impact.

“So you are saying even being direct was not getting through to this assistant. I think asking them what they think, and if they heard what the problem is can make sure the other person heard this issue” is a follow-up comment by the reader who prompted this blog post.

In this particular blog post, the boss believed they were being direct with finesse. Their interpretation of finesse was to deliver a clear message with an increased emphasis on sparing the recipient’s feelings. Sometimes this approach backfires for a number of reasons:

1. The boss becomes more concerned with the reaction of the employee and dilutes the message.
2. The employee walks away believing the issue is minor when it is a major one.
3. The boss assumes their subordinate wants to be talked to the way he or she wants to hear things – when it may be very different.

It is my guess that the boss may have tried to follow up with the questions this reader is posing, though the conversation may have been cut short. It is more likely, other factors were working against them.

These types of conversations are usually not the ones that bosses want to have with their employees and visa versa. If we play out the scenario differently, it is probable the employee acted like they understood. After all, he or she wants to get out of the hot seat as soon as they can! Alternatively, the boss wants to dispose of this difficult conversation quickly.

The solution is – ensure that conversations complete the full feedback loop approach. If you follow these steps, you will increase your success with difficult conversations:

Step 1: Define the problem clearly with examples.

Step 2: Identify how the problem affects results or relationships.

Step 3:  If you have a preferred solution, share it; otherwise brainstorm and explore options together.

Step 4: Agree on a solution. The solution will include specific behavior changes, reinforcements and timing. The solution should focus on delivering the desired outcome(s).

Step 5: Discuss how this new behavior or result will look when you see it (the successful outcome). Be detailed in the description – create a picture where the employee visually sees themselves doing it.

Step 6: Ask the other person to restate their understanding of each step. Learn how to ask better questions by avoiding closed-end questions. Let them tell you what they think in their own words.

Step 7: Set a meeting time to review progress and make adjustments.

To help facilitate the discussion, consider sharing this model with the employee before you start the conversation. They will know what to expect as the discussion progresses and you will find less resistance to correcting undesirable behaviors and outcomes.

Lynn Dessert owns Leadership Breakthrough, improving personal communication and influence one-step at a time. Post your thoughts or email me!

I am often asked by students if it is a good or bad idea for a leader to socialize with subordinates outside of work. There are a lot of tradeoffs, and this is a complex question. I break down the variables in this article.

It is often a quandary for leaders to know whether to socialize with workers at after work events. Here are some tips that may help the decision process:

1. It is always situational. There are times where it is expected for a leader to participate and there are other situations where it would be dead wrong for a leader to socialize. You need to use good judgment and follow some consistent pattern.
2. If you have a corporate policy on this subject, you need to follow that. Often the corporate ban on socializing has an escape clause for certain types of events.
3. The most important consideration is whether the employees and you are all comfortable with your attendance. If several people (including you) have some reservations, it is better to take a rain check.
4. If you decide to attend certain types of functions, like for example birthday parties offsite, you need to do the same for everyone when schedules permit. If you attend the party for one person but not another, you will appear to be playing favorites.
5. It would be a good idea to have an open discussion at work about this subject to get an idea how most people feel about it before establishing your pattern.
6. If alcohol is involved, you need to especially wary of accepting drinks. I remember one supervisor who became totally drunk at an event because the underlings kept buying him cocktails. It was a very bad scene.
7. Unless you have a very friendly group, it is best to avoid any activity that involves physical contact, like dancing for instance. You can quickly get into a compromised position quite innocently.
8. Take notice of the habits of other leaders in your organization that you respect. If they refrain from attending social events, then you want to be especially conservative.
9. Try to avoid parties that start out in public restaurants but migrate to one person’s house.
10. Do not participate in any kind of gambling when out with employees.
11. Do not volunteer to take intoxicated employees home. Get them a Taxi cab.

Those are some general precepts that may help you think about the issue more deeply. Here are a few suggestions of how to limit your risk.

1. Consider making a brief appearance near the start of the event, but not participate in the entire thing. This allows you to show respect for everyone, but avoids a lot of jeopardy. Watch the body language carefully to see if people are offended at your leaving early. If so, stay longer, but leave as soon as you reasonably can.
2. The best place to put limits on your outside socializing is when you are at work. Show by your body language and hesitation if you think you might be getting into a compromising situation.
3. Remember even though you are “off duty,” your relationships with the people who work for you is still very much “on duty.”
4. Whenever there is a doubt, always take the most conservative posture.

Robert T. Whipple is the CEO of Leadergrow Inc., a teaching and consulting company.