“Trans and gender diverse people exist. Our legal system recognises this. Society at large recognises this. I shouldn’t have to spend years of my life in court to either prove I exist or to have my existing legal rights upheld.

“Marginalised communities have always had to fight to be treated with respect and dignity, and I will continue on, strengthened by the support of the trans and gender diverse community, the feminist movement and friends and allies across the community, until trans people can live our lives true to who we are.”

A link to the full press release from Grata Fund is available here.

     

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• A SPORTING CHANCE

 

“Mostly I get to just live my life and be who I am. But a small group of people have taken it upon themselves to declare that I am not who I know I am and they have set about making my life miserable.

“This case and the unlawful and discriminatory exclusion from the Giggle app has stolen the last three years of my life. 

“I have been targeted by hateful online commentary and degrading merchandise designed to ridicule and mock me. 

“There is so much hate and bile cast on trans and gender diverse people, simply because of who we are. Sometimes it’s difficult to remember that not all people think like that. When I walked into the courtroom for the hearing in April I felt safe because I was treated with courtesy and respect and allowed to tell my story.  

“The hate has not just affected me, it’s hurt so many trans and gender diverse people.

“Since I found out this week that the decision is finally coming I’ve been bursting into tears at different moments because I know that soon this will be over.

“I’m pleased by the outcome of my case, and I hope it is healing for trans and gender diverse people. The ruling shows that all women are protected from discrimination. I brought my case to show trans people that you can be brave, and you can stand up for yourself. I know that I can now get on with the rest of my life and have a coffee down the road with my friends, play hockey with my team and put this horribleness behind me. “

And here is a link to the the full media statement issued on my behalf by Grata Fund … an incredibly important not-for-profit that builds a fairer world by harnessing the power of high impact strategic litigation to create structural change.

     

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• A SPORTING CHANCE

 

Friend:             “How would you feel if Hockey Australia wanted to have a
                              chat about your experiences with your club?”

Me:                    Having done nothing public of note in my life to this point,
                            I started to feel a little anxious.

Me:                   “Do you mean for research or for a case study for
                             publication? I’m happy either way. If it’s for publication
                             I just better let my club know.”

Friend:              “It might be for something a bit bigger.”

Me:                      Ummm.

Soon I would learn that the “something a bit bigger” was that I was going to be asked if I would be prepared to meet with Hockey Australia to assist them to develop their Trans & Gender Diverse Inclusion Guidelines for community hockey. I had previously been delighted to learn in June 2019 that the Australian Sports Commission had partnered with the Australian Human Rights Commission and the Coalition of Major Professional and Participation Sports to develop and publish the Guidelines for the inclusion of transgender and gender diverse people in sport. Unbeknownst to me, though, was that several National Sporting Organisations had set about learning how to put the Guidelines into practice and develop their own trans and gender diverse inclusion guidelines … Hockey Australia was one of them. My beloved hockey was going to actively welcome trans and gender diverse people. Sublime! Of course I would help!

We met multiple times over following months using one of the many online meeting systems that blossomed in popularity during COVID times. Hockey Australia and Hockey Victoria representatives based in Melbourne were in the middle of a COVID lockdown at the time, so I had to try to not talk too much about how wonderful it was to be finally playing hockey every weekend when they were stuck in their homes.

We talked about how much joy actively including trans and gender diverse people in the gendered teams that they felt more comfortable in would bring them. I requested the insertion of specific clauses to prevent “pull down your pants so we can see” type demands. My requests were heard, understood and included. I felt safe and protected in the process.

The guidelines took a number of meetings, reedits and redrafts, but as I remember we were all happy with the finished policy. I understand that the guidelines have since been tweaked to help them align more closely with Hockey Australia policies, but that the meat and potatoes of the guidelines (available here) remain the same.

It was even more exciting to learn that the guidelines were to be collectively launched at a Pride in Sport event to be held at the Sydney Cricket Ground on 1^st October, 2020. 

I had settled into the notion that the launch was going to be controversial to some cohorts, but overall I expected (hoped?) the reaction on the whole would be a mixture of curiosity, confusion and acceptance. I knew that my name might be used publicly in association with the hockey guidelines, though I hoped to largely be anonymous .. that is until I was informed that there was also to be a launch video, and I had been asked to appear in it along with a cohort of other project participants.

I was both honoured and petrified to be invited to participate in the launch video. Not only my chosen name (less than 2.5 years old at the time) was going to be broadcast on the Internet, now my face would be as well. I was equal parts terrified and overjoyed, but it was a cause that I truly believed in, so I said yes. A dear friend helped calm me down enough to film my contribution at her house. Our own local lock down rules at the time dictated that we were only to leave our homes for essential business. All in all the video felt fairly essential to me. The video participants were all sent the same script which we memorised and spoke to camera. The contributions were edited to produce this piece of absolute strength, joy and power. I still cry when I watch it 4 years later. 

Once my video contribution was uploaded, I decided to spend the remaining few weeks until the guidelines launch preparing emotionally for being in the spotlight and for any potential backlash. Or so I thought. A little over a week before the launch I was contacted by Pride in Sport to sound me out on speaking to camera for an ABC 7.30 segment due to go to air the night before the guidelines launch.

Coincidentally, our hockey Grand Final was to be played in a few days … a day later than 7.30 had hoped to film my interview. It meant tight editing deadlines for them but including footage from our grand final in the 7.30 segment proved too enticing. So … at the end of my first hockey season for 25 years and even longer since my last grand final, I was interviewed on the field prior to the game, much to the confusion of our opposition and most of my team as they arrived. A few of our team knew about the interview as, very new to this television caper, I had made sure I obtained permission from my team, my club and Far North Coast Hockey. It was a little inconvenient to our team, which I regret, but it was a little bit fun at the same time and if it hadn’t have turned out that way I wouldn’t have been able to experience one of my dearest friends with one of the warmest hearts I have ever encountered embrace me for the warmest, most emotional hug ever when the game was over and we realised we had won. In fact I think it must have been nominated for Hug Of The Year as 7.30 included a snippet of the hug in their program promo broadcast on ABC TV several times a day for the next year, along with footage of other notables (LOL) like Malcolm Turnbull and David Attenborough. I still weep a little when I watch the 7.30 story 4 years later.

I was invited by Pride in Sport and Hockey Australia to travel to Sydney for the launch of the Guidelines at the SCG. There were some very clever and empathetic people there and I got to meet some properly and chat casually to others. Poignant and stirring speeches were made by very passionate people. It was still COVID Time, so linking arms or touching elbows replaced the shaking of hands. Memorable photos were taken as proof that it all happened.

As the formal part of the launch event wound down, the action moved onto the SCG, through the gate that has a sign that said firmly (paraphrasing) “don’t walk through this gate” and onto the expanse of grass that looks so perfect I wondered several times if it could actually be natural grass. My dear friend from the opening paragraph leant closer and whispered in my ear “what do you think about being interviewed on camera for the ABC and SBS News tonight?” Cue the anxiety again, but even more of it. In a weird kinda way I was starting to get used to feeling minor terror, so from memory I think I said something like “if you tell me I should, I will”. He whispered back “you really should”. I nodded slowly and he led me first to the reporter standing in front of the ABC TV news camera and then the reporter standing in front of the SBS TV news camera. I think they used some of footage for their evening news bulletins, though I’m not 100% sure.

It was certainly a whirlwind few days. I’m glad I made diary entries and took photos and saved links from published stories so that I can revisit the detail and the proof that it happened. I had never been involved in something so important or public before … it was definitely the peak moment of my life thus far, and will always be near the top of my list.

Several years had passed by when in March 2023, Hockey Australia contacted me to ask if I would consider being one of their Pride Ambassadors. With Trans Day of Visibility approaching, I thought that a little more trans, ahem, visibility may well help keep the momentum going. I enthusiastically said yes. My appointment was announced on Trans Day of Visibility 2023.

Since beginning my relationship with Hockey Australia in mid 2000, there was no doubt in my mind that Hockey Australia had no intentions other than actively firming up inclusivity of trans and gender diverse people in Australian community hockey, so I suffered maximum cognitive dissonance when a Twitter user known to me pointed out in a public tweet in early July 2024 that Hockey Australia had published a survey on its website in October 2023 where it had remained for over 8 months.

The survey included a series of questionable questions phrased as if written in a transphobic frame of mind. I have included here for context the three that I found the most offensive:

• Do you think transgender people should play community hockey based on:
  • • • Gender Identity
      • Sex Assigned at Birth
      • Other
      • Unsure
        
        
• Would you feel comfortable competing against a transgender athlete?
  • • • Yes
      • No
      • Unsure
        
        
• How familiar are you with the issues surrounding the inclusion of transgender athletes in sports?
  • • • Very familiar
      • Somewhat familiar
      • Not very familiar
      • Not familiar at all
      • Not interested

The last question was the worst in my opinion. It wasn’t even softened as “how familiar do you think you are…”. There is so much hate on social media directed constantly at anybody that dares to not be born, live in and actively reinforce the gender binary. I am shocked that the writer of these questions did not stop to consider that ALL the internet’s resident bile-chuckers consider themselves experts on sex and gender. To my knowledge, the survey provided no link to relevant or appropriate resources to help educate the participants … in essence it appeared to be a secretive vox populi exercise.

After the emotionally exhausting, but invigorating, process of the Trans & Gender Diverse Inclusion Guidelines I found witnessing the questionable survey on a public facing page of the Hockey Australia website nauseating. I strongly believe that Hockey Australia would not dare survey a section of the hockey community regarding the participation of any other cohort protected from discrimination by legislation, so why they thought it a good idea to do so for trans and gender diverse people flummoxes me.

I have been informed that the survey was meant only for internal distribution to a small cohort of the hockey community and was published to their website in error. The survey was real but meant apparently only for internal not external distribution. This explanation has not resolved any of my disgust, anger or nausea.

I felt, and feel, betrayed that as a Pride Ambassador I was not consulted on, or advised of, its apparent need, its formulation, it’s existence or that it was ultimately published on their public website where it remained for over 8 months. As a Pride Ambassador I could have been well placed to assist with crafting appropriate questions to help inform a discovery process on a subject matter area that most people misunderstand and misconstrue, some deliberately.

In my opinion, at best the survey was a poorly designed and even more poorly executed attempt to gauge private opinions on the participation of trans and gender diverse people in hockey from a small cohort of the wider hockey community. At worst … well I think I’ll choose to focus on the best. I am not aware whether any members of the public participated in the survey, muddying any results obtained.

I believe it to be a fair assumption for a reasonable observer to assume that in my role of Pride Ambassador I was involved in the design, formulation and creation of the survey. I was not. This series of events sadly rendered my role as Hockey Australia Pride Ambassador untenable. To this end, I advised Hockey Australia of my resignation from my role of Pride Ambassador on 7^th July 2024 effective immediately.

Nevertheless, I would like to thank Hockey Australia for allowing me to influence the first public version of the Trans & Gender Diverse Inclusion Guidelines to the extent that I did. Participating in the workshops, together with participating in the Guidelines launch process, were truly an experience of a lifetime. Leaving under these circumstances before the end of my 2 year term is so bittersweet, but the good times were so very, very good. I wish Hockey Australia well and I encourage them to do better in the future.

     

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This page will be tweaked and updated from time to time as I encounter painfully notable eye rolling moments.

Trigger warning: if you experience negative emotions when you read this page, I suggest you google “cognitive dissonance”.

1. Trans women are apparently simultaneously both failed ‘male’ athletes but also winning all of the female prizes and sports, or at least preventing cis women from competing (my hockey team usually doesn’t have enough players so that is a lie). This paradox presupposes that male athletes are at least an order of magnitude more accomplished than female athletes. I, and many others, believe that this paradox is rooted in internalised misogyny. Cis women aren’t necessarily lesser sporters … often it comes down to shitty publicity where their achievements are not trumpeted. There are many examples when female athletes have bettered their male counterparts. I’ll start you off … google Fiona Kolbinger for example. I bet if you put your mind to it you will find more examples of cis women bettering cis men than you will examples of trans women bettering cis women.
2. Many terfs, transphobes and bigots are quite vocal in arguing that “transgender athletes” (which in their world is code for trans women) should not be competing in sport against cisgender female athletes due to the “massive advantages” conferred on them by male puberty. To the uninitiated this may sound like an arguable point, yet those same terfs, transphobes and bigots usually passionately argue in other conversations that trans teens should be routinely denied puberty blockers, therefore forcing them through an unwanted male puberty, thus ultimately denying them the ability to play in female sports. A two pronged approach that is intended to permanently prevent trans women from ever playing sport with their friends … and yes, when someone mounts these arguments to you, they almost certainly are referring to community sport as well as elite sport. As an aside … there is no across the board, in every sport, in every position, in every team sport innate advantage for trans women … does anybody seriously think that Laurel Hubbard, a 185cm tall weightlifter weighing 147kg could play competitive women’s hockey for example, let alone for a national team? Hockey players are best when nimble and agile. Each body, cis or trans, male or female, has it’s own innate sporting advantage.
3. Insults hurled at trans women by terfs, transphobes and bigots are nearly always indistinguishable from those hurled by cis female bullies at other cis women. Every time one of these insults is hurled at me I wince because it does hurt, but I also remember to smile on the inside because deep down, the bullies are repeatedly proving to me that they do know I AM a woman and that deep down they still think that there is only one way to be a woman. Newsflash: those days are now where they should have always been … in the bin.
   1. you aren’t pretty enough
   2. you aren’t petite enough
   3. you aren’t sweet enough
   4. your hair isn’t voluminous enough
   5. your muscles are too bulky
   6. you have more than no facial hair
   7. you aren’t feminine enough
   8. you are mentally ill
   9. you don’t spend enough time daily on your presentation
   10. your clothes aren’t feminine enough
   11. you dress like a whore
   12. you don’t have a female figure
   13. you aren’t demure enough
   14. you are too bossy
   15. nobody likes you
4. Trans people as a cohort are often accused by some of being utterly unfuckable while at the same time trans women are being fetishised in private by a cohort of cis men (the so-called “chasers”) that haven’t yet come to terms with the fact that being attracted to trans women does not make them a pervert. 

     

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• Riparian zone: the land that occurs along the edges of rivers, streams, lakes, and other water bodies that may be submerged during flood
• Purgatory: the place (in Catholicism) where sins are punished after death and where a soul is purified before it can go to Heaven
• Puberty: the process of physical maturation where an adolescent reaches sexual maturity
• Second age: the second era of one’s life after childhood and adolescence (the first age) but before retirement (the third age)
• Progression: the process of developing or moving gradually towards a more advanced state
• Intertidal zone: the area above water level at low tide that is underwater at high tide
• Interstitial space: the fluid-filled spaces between blood vessels and cells
• Waiting room: part of a building or a room where people sit or stand until the event or appointment for which they are waiting begins
• Halfway house: a place where people who have recently left a prison, mental hospital, etc., can live until they are considered ready to live by themselves
• Hibernation: a state of minimal activity and metabolic depression undergone by some animal species most usually during the colder months
• Hypnagogic state: a transitional stage between wakefulness and sleep, in which sensory perceptions can be experienced
• Buffer zone: an area of land that separates two other areas that is designed to prevent fighting or harm coming to something or someone
• Interstitial fluid: the fluid that fills interstitial space
• Regression: a return to a former or less developed state
• Gender transition (sometimes called second puberty): the process of changing one’s gender presentation or sex characteristics to accord with one’s internal sense of gender
• Holding pattern: the flight path maintained by an aircraft awaiting permission to land
• Limbo: a state of uncertainty
• Eye: a region of mostly calm weather at the centre of tropical cyclones
• Demilitarised zone: an area in which treaties or agreements between states, military powers or contending groups forbid military installations, activities, or personnel
• Lobby: a room providing a space out of which one or more other rooms or corridors lead, typically one near the entrance of a public building
• Lull: a period of quiet or calm in a longer period of activity or excitement
• Migration: the movement from one part of something to another, usually for a purpose
• Adjournment: a temporary stopping of a trial, hearing, enquiry, or other meeting, whether for a comfort stop, lunch, a new day or when the hearing has concluded

Is there a name that describes the period of time between a hearing and the associated judgement? If there isn’t there really, really should be. It appears to have the emotional viscosity of claggy, unenthusiastic custard. Without any warm sticky date pudding to sweeten the deal.

     

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This is occurring four years after they partnered with the Australian Human Rights Commission and the Coalition of Major Professional and Participation Sports to develop and publish Guidelines for the inclusion of transgender and gender diverse people in sport.

What most people probably did notice was yet another week in a seemingly unending wave train of ill- and mis-informed opinions in a sea of hate – they just may not have realised that there was a new catalyst.”

I was honoured to be asked for my thoughts on the participation by trans people in sports by BroadAgenda recently … mostly because the majority of people involved in the discussion are cis people relying on second hand misinformation to inform their opinions. Anyway, here are my thoughts.

     

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On Friday last week, the day before the Mardi Gras parade, I checked out a local Facebook group that declares itself to be “a true community page for the people of Lismore to connect and gain information” and that it has “no personal agendas, no grandstanding, no hate posts, no bullying or harassment” and is ”just a friendly community page so the people of Lismore can connect and share information.”

I was shocked, appalled and dismayed to see that the group administrator had posted this article along with the comment “Looks like some men have found a whole new way to screw over women ……thoughts?” Any suggestion that the group had any intention to keep hate posts or bullies in check was immediately dispelled. If the post wasn’t text book transphobia then we probably should take a whole new look at the English language. Also, presumably, the post by the administrator contravened several of his own rules for the group, which is kinda funny.

If you are unfamiliar with transgender issues, and you are the sort of person that prefers to jump to conclusions, then you may think that this is unfair. Like most things though, reality is much more complicated and has less actual embedded reasons to be angry. I set about preparing a response, but as I am wont to do, I intended to submit a thorough, well thought out, researched tome, in stark contrast to all of the other contributions. In the meantime, a bunch of people had either agreed with the premise of the article, the associated comment from the administrator, submitted juvenile memes or went off on various tangents. On Friday evening I made a complaint to the group administrator and he agreed to support my right of reply.

On Saturday evening I posted my following rebuttal to the collection of nonsense that had accumulated in the meantime:

1. I have gone to a lot of time and effort putting this together because trans folk are discriminated against in so many ways that most people are not these days. We also appear to be significantly misunderstood and, more bizarrely, feared. Please read this with the care that I took to put it together.
2. I am so very disappointed that this is the standard of discourse surrounding a minority group in the Lismore region … so much for it being welcoming and open-minded around here.
3. I won’t use the word transphobic in my response because “good” people don’t seem to like being told that their opinions are ill-informed, but you probably should all know that most of the responses here are equivalent to “I’m not racist but …”
4. Trans women are not men. To suggest otherwise is offensive and hate-mongering.
5. You either believe that trans women are women or you don’t. If you don’t believe that trans women should be allowed to play women’s sport, then this opinion should dispel any doubt that you may have had lingering.
6. If you believe that trans women shouldn’t be playing women’s sport, please remember that most people either disagree with you or simply don’t care. Those that do agree with you include the likes of Donald Trump and Scott Morrison.
7. The Australian government’s policy is that trans and gender diverse folk SHOULD be playing sport in the gender that they live their life as. The Federal Sports Minister last year launched a program to encourage this very thing.
8. The publication that the article was lifted from is The Daily Mail … one of the most conservative, fear mongering publications in the UK. Our equivalent is probably the Daily Telegraph. Piers Morgan, whose opinion was loudly re-broadcast in the article, is one of the most provocative, fear-mongering TV hosts in the UK. Our equivalent is probably Andrew Bolt.
9. Laurel Hubbard’s results at the competition referred to in the article were snatch 126kg and clean & jerk 144kg with a total of 270kg. The second place getter was Anastasiia Lysenko, a cis woman, with results of 124kg for the snatch and 142kg for the clean & jerk for a total of 266kg. Yes third & fourth were a long way behind, but the gap between first and second was much closer than the article suggested. As an aside, the results for the men in the weight range that Laurel Hubbard would have competed in if she competed in the men’s division were at least 100kg greater.
10. In every collection with natural variation there are extremes on both ends of the spectrum. Using one example from one extreme on that spectrum to attempt to extrapolate to the whole demonstrates an innate prejudice, whether obvious or not. It makes no sense to say that I shouldn’t be allowed to play women’s softball because another trans woman can lift heavy things. Yes some trans women have advantages in some respects. The sporting world is currently working through this and will come up with better guidelines in the next few years, but each sportsperson has different qualities and each sport requires different talents. Laurel Hubbard. for example, would probably be a terrible softball player.
11. To say that trans women will always be better at sport than cis women is simply not true. Last year Fiona Kolbinger, a cis woman from Germany, beat 264 other female AND male riders in the 4000km Transcontinental cycle race from Burgas in Bulgaria to Brest in France. Yes I am aware that is cherry-picking, but so is the example of using Laurel Hubbard to attempt to prove a point.
12. Using the example of Laurel Hubbard to declare that ALL trans women shouldn’t play sport as the gender they live their life as because they have too many innate advantages makes no sense at all. I went to uni with a very tall cis woman. She didn’t like sport. She didn’t want to play sport. But she was over 6 foot tall and she liked spending time with her friends … friends that liked playing basketball. So she played basketball to spend time with her friends. Should she have been prevented from playing basketball because of her significant natural advantage and because she didn’t actually want to be there? If your initial reaction is to think that is different because she already WAS a woman then I refer you back to point 5.
13. Please make a list of the trans sportspeople that back up your arguments. If you get past 10 I would be surprised. I suggest that you will be able to come up with a far longer list of cis sportspeople with extraordinary natural advantages.
14. Most trans women don’t care about winning. We just want to play sport with our friends … to experience camaraderie and friendship in the same way that cis folk are already permitted to. This has significant effects on our levels of depression, loneliness and anxiety … levels that are far above those of the background population. 
15. In many communities sport is one of the major, or only, social meeting places. If you don’t play sport then you are often on the outer. Preventing trans folk from playing sport in a team as the gender they live is cruel.
16. Most comments surrounding trans sportspeople talk about how we are going to take over women’s sport. Trans men “taking over” male sport is rarely mentioned. If around 1% of the population experience gender dysphoria to the extent that they have to transition, often to save their lives, then we are talking about maybe 0.5% of the population. Then how many people actually play sport … 50%? Less? The number of trans people that are going to play sport is minuscule. Hardly an army to take over women’s sport that some allege.
17. Last year I played softball in the Lismore Masters Games and was made overwhelmingly welcome by the Masters Games, Lismore City Council and ALL OF THE PLAYERS, especially my teammates. Dozens and dozens and dozens of women. By the end of the weekend so many people knew my name it made my head spin. As far as I could tell I think I was the only trans woman there that weekend. So to those that think there should be separate competitions for trans folk, who would I have played against? An entire softball competition with just myself sounds pretty boring. It would be physically impossible for me to pitch to myself when I was trying to bat at the same time.
18. Those of you that continue to espouse the argument that trans women were born male, testosterone, skeleton size blah blah blah arguments, please know that in nearly every case you are wrong. Last year I trained to get ready for the Lismore Masters Games so I could play softball. I did SO MUCH exercise that I lost 17.5kg in 8 months. I was able to lose that much weight in the first place because I had been overweight or obese my whole life … hardly the sporting superstar that you all seem to be picturing. By the end of the year I was fitter and lighter than I had ever been in my entire life … yet I was our only player that literally could not play the last game. Picture that … the trans woman superstar was the only player to not be able to play the entire weekend. My legs literally shook for hours afterwards. I limped for days. I cried because I felt like I let my team-mates down. I cried because for the first time in my ENTIRE LIFE I felt like I belonged on a sporting field. 
19. I can’t tell you the exact bio-mechanics of what happens, but essentially I have ended up with the same heavy skeleton that I had 4 years ago before I started blocking my testosterone and adding oestrogen and progesterone to my system, with muscles that have maybe two thirds of their previous strength. I was FAR from the fastest runner or the best hitter that Masters weekend. I was somewhere in the middle … exactly where I want to be. I have heard it described as putting the engine of a Mini Minor into the body of a Commodore. That rings true to me.
20. Most counter-arguments quote “facts” that compare cis men to cis women. This is not helpful or relevant. Hormonal transition radically changes our bodies to the point where these “facts” are meaningless. See points 18 and 19.
21. If I could make my skeleton shrink I would. It is difficult to carry myself around with less strength and agility than before. If I could choose I would pick a body that was exactly in the middle of the cis female spectrum in terms of strength, agility and talent. I am so sick of standing out. I am so very sick of people jumping to conclusions about who I am, what I can do and what my intentions and motives are. Unfortunately I transitioned too late in life for me to ever not stand out in terms of appearance.
22. If you still disagree with me by now, it doesn’t actually matter what you think anyway. Trans women ARE playing women’s sport and they ARE being welcomed with open arms by most sporting teams, bodies and competitions. If you don’t believe that this should be allowed, then of course you are free to start lobbying the government to attempt to make it illegal or whatever, but please stop telling trans people that they are not welcome to participate in our society in ways that you have always taken for granted.
23. The comments posted here suggest that most of you don’t know any trans people, or if you do, you haven’t ever actually listened to what they have to say. We just want to be like everybody else. If you have trans friends please talk to them about this … you might learn something. 

Only a few hours after I submitted my rebuttal the whole shebang was taken down. I guess the group, and the group’s administrator, aren’t much into facts.

Oh … and for the record, this article describes how Laurel Hubbard bombed out on the weekend.

So much for trans supremacy. I guess the Facebook group won’t be posting that article?

     

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Most visits to the phlebotomist have passed without note. If I was lucky, I received a friendly smile or a concerned frown to break the utilitarian nature of the visit, but most visits consisted of a 15 to 20 minute wait followed by 5 or 10 minutes of friendly chit chat as my blood was being withdrawn.

One visit in July 2018, though, was a little more pivotal. It provided a lovely random moment that was hilarious at the time, but ultimately introduced a lovely new human into my life. 

I was 2 years post Epiphany. I had been taking cross sex hormones for 16 months. I had been known as Roxy socially for about 6 or 7 months. I had only received my new birth certificate 5 or 6 weeks earlier. Medicare had been my second name change (after the Registry of Births, Deaths & Marriages update). More significantly, though, it had been my first gender marker update. My shiny new Medicare card had only arrived a week or two earlier, so I was pretty keen, though also quite nervous, to show it off.

My 15 to 20 minute wait passed without note. My name was called out. I followed the phlebotomist into their room and sat down. The phlebotomist looked startled when he saw my Medicare card, which made me a little uneasy. The following exchange then unfolded:

Phlebotomist (with a quizzical look on his face): did you have that Medicare card yesterday?

Me (slightly puzzled): Um … I have had it for about two weeks I think?

Phlebotomist (very puzzled): you didn’t use it yesterday though?

Me: um … no … I didn’t … use it yesterday…

Phlebotomist: I meant … did you use it HERE yesterday?

Me (very puzzled): I wasn’t here yesterday. 

Phlebotomist (now very confused): …

Phlebotomist (becoming less puzzled): Then you must have a twin out there!

Me (shocked and surprised): a twin! Cool!

Me: …

Me (now even more shocked and surprised): um … a trans twin?

Phlebotomist (relieved we had finally sorted that out): it appears so!

Me (laughing): what are the chances of that? I would really like to meet them!

Me: (reconsidering): actually maybe that’s not a great idea … maybe the universe will fold in on itself if we meet?

Both of us chuckle.

Over the next 6 months I occasionally thought back to that morning, wondering if I would ever meet my Trans Twin. Our town isn’t that large, so it was fairly likely, but maybe the phlebotomist got it wrong? Maybe we weren’t similar in appearance? Maybe they weren’t trans? Maybe I would never meet them? Or if I did, maybe I wouldn’t realise it was them? That thought made me a little sad, so I tried not to dwell on it. I really wanted to meet my Trans Twin.

Six months passed. I found myself another new friend on Facebook. She was also transitioning . I looked forward to having a close friend that understood intimately the emotional, social, familial and physical upheaval that I was experiencing. A day or two after becoming Facebook friends, my new friend mentioned how many people had been addressing her in her daily life as Roxy. I was briefly puzzled … then it suddenly dawned on me …  I had found my Trans Twin! Or more accurately, she had found me. And the universe hadn’t folded in on itself. Winning!

Nearly a year has passed since our first online meeting. She is now firmly embedded in my life as one of my dearest friends. It is an absolute privilege, and the utmost honour, to watch her blossom to become the woman she was always destined to be, sans any filters sometimes employed for conversations about transitioning with less intimate friends. I simply can’t imagine walking this journey without her and I am so very happy that we are able to be there for each other through this most difficult and easiest of journeys.

     

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