For years I have encouraged therapists and healers to talk about what they do in words beyond “I am a therapist” or “I am a coach” or “I am a massage therapist”.

Because as soon as you label yourself that way, you’ve put yourself in a category in the other person’s brain. And if you could take a snapshot into the other person’s brain when you said that, you might see the response as “Don’t want one” or “Have one, don’t want another one.”

What is more important than the label is to be aware of your gift and the joy your gift offers others.

For example, you may help new step-moms get along with their husband’s children.

Or you may teach little ones how to make friends.

For me, what I do best is translating. My younger sister decided not to speak until she was three and a half years old. During those years, I served as her ambassador to the world. I explained to the big people when she needed food or drink or needed to go to the bathroom.

That same skill of translating helped me teach social dancing to those who were very uncoordinated as I explained which muscles to contract to create movement. You can’t imagine the joy I felt when I saw these former wallflowers on the dance floor enjoying themselves and looking great.

Years later, I was honored to help many couples and families in my therapy office as I translated “needs.” Today I teach therapists and healers how to translate their gifts to the world so they could fill their appointment books with new clients.

I invite you to consider this …

1. How do you use “translating” in your work?
2. How would you describe the value people receive from the translating you do in your work?
3. Where is there opportunity for more value for you and your business using translating?

First of all, thanks to all of you who sent me such loving support when I disclosed my shyness and discomfort with networking.

This past weekend, I had the chance to practice interacting for several days at a large marketing conference and came home truly feeling like a new person.

This was the first conference I attended where I chose to look for new ways to “be” – and invoke less of my two (usual) knee-jerk reactions to crowds: 1) Hide or 2) Be in charge of making sure everyone was cared for.

The results? For the most part, I allowed myself to just be quiet but when I felt called to speak I did. I also allowed myself to enjoy and be energized by one-to-one interactions during breaks. I still have a ways to go (I must have asked a dozen people if I could get them a glass of water.) But as I said, I came home energized which tells me a lot about how I handled the energy.

The event was lovely and upbeat. I met lots of people – including several of you who read the newsletter! It was simply a joy to be in and around so many forward thinking people.

SHALL WE MEET IN PERSON?

I enjoyed this in-person conference so much, I am considering holding my own live event. It has been over a year since we held one – what do you think?

Sound like fun? If so, please comment below or shoot us an email at Support@InTLI.com

If you weren’t able to listen to all the presenters at the Practice Building Virtual Conference, I am pleased to share some of the words of wisdom that I enjoyed. (I have paraphrased what I heard.)

A.) Carol Look, EFT and Abundance Master: It is our beliefs that can limit our marketing success. If your caseload isn’t where you want, ask “How is my current caseload serving me?” You may find an answer.

B.) Lynn Grodzki, Marketing Coach and Therapist: In your business (and in your marketing) look for where you are dependant in an unhealthy way. Over time commit to being autonomous.

C.) Bill O’Hanlon, psychotically optimistic therapist and speaker: A great way to get invited to speak is to write a book. Books give you instant credibility and prestige, even if people haven’t read them.

D.) Juliet Austin, Marketing Coach and Copywriter: Did you know that when we look at a website, that our eyes scan in an “F” pattern. We starting in the top left, scan to the right and then down and the to the right again before going down vertically again.

E.) Joe Bavonese, Marketing Coach and Psychologist: Social Networking is an amazing tool that makes it easier than ever to share your wisdom, to touch more people’s lives, and to fulfill your purpose. (That said) Facebook has a serious boundary problem. You should carefully review the Privacy Settings before posting anything on Facebook.

F.) Ofer Zur, Psychologist and CEU Provider: Money issues are tied to security, self-esteen, identity and power. Neglecting to discuss financial concerns with clients is tantamount to ignoring the proverbial elephant in the room. Not only is this confusing, it is “crazy making” not to discuss obvious issues so crucial to our survival and mental health.

G.) Glenn Heaton, Chill Sessions: For just a couple of dollars apiece, you can create CDs that you can sell for profit or give away as a marketing activity.

H.) Larina Kase, Marketing Coach and Psychologist: Your ‘platform’ has four components – you (your credibility and your expertise), your message, your niche, and the way you are going to share your message (your marketing.)

I.) Peter Hannah, Your Google Guy and Therapist: The next big thing on the internet (and for those building practices) will be video.

J.) Miranda Palmer, Pre-licensed Marketing Coach and Therapist: Pre-licensed people can make more than licensed people.

K.) Jodi Blackley, Therapist and Networking Expert: When going to a networking event, decide on your personal goals before arriving at the event. Who do you want to meet? How many new people do you want to get to know?

L.) DeeAnna Merz Nagel, Online Therapy Expert and Therapist: More and more people will be asking for therapy services and contact via text. Make sure you use an encrypted email program if you are going to communicate via email.

(Note from me, Casey: While there will always be a place for face-to-face therapy, I predict Online Therapy will be one of the fastest growing services in the next 3 years.)

M.) Barbara Griswold, Insurance Expert and Therapist: No longer is it true that a provider is required to do tons of paperwork when on managed care insurance panels.

N.) Coach Tiffany T, Website Marketing Coach: On your website FAQs page, answer potential objections (and fears) that your ideal client would have prior to making an appointment. For example, if your ideal cleint was someone getting over a broken heart, your could write on your FAQS page: “My family is telling me to just get over him, but I am still hurting. Are you going to tell me that too?”

I hope this taste gives you the flavor of the conference. We had such a great time. (If you want, you can still enjoy the conference via the recordings at: http://PracticeBuildingConference.com)

Until next time, I am holding the vision for you!

Hugs,
Casey

Below you will find a quick powerpoint video presentation I created for you called “5 Steps to a Full Practice” – it is simply a refresher (and contains a little about the conference) but if you are looking for a little pick-me-up I hope you will enjoy it.

Just press the play arrow – or if you don’t see one, then you can see the powerpoint here. (It takes a few moments to load up.)

Your speakers must be on.

New white paper: The therapist as client…Or not? Should therapists be in therapy?

(Download a copy of this white paper to your computer by clicking here or simply read it below.)

Most therapists I know go into this field to help people.

I bet you did too. Humor me for a second as I invite you to do a short visualization exercise.

I want you to think about one of your favorite therapy client success stories. Remember that special client and the pain or confusion they experienced before seeking your counsel.

Picture them in your mind when they first came into your office. Remember their posture, tone of voice and the energy  they projected. Now, fast forward through your treatment and see them emerging. The pain is less (or gone). The fear is manageable and the future looks incredibly bright. Breathe in the joy that you feel when you look at the transformation with that client.

What an amazing  privilege it is to be a therapist.

People share their deepest worries and pain with us. They trust us with their hearts and their future. It is an amazing honor to do this work.

And month after month, we help people. No matter what your theoretical orientation, we do this work because we want to help people. We believe in the healing process  of our work.  Simply put, we believe in therapy.

Incredibly, the Psychotherapy Networker reports: “Surveys find that 20 to 25% of therapists have never sat in the client’s chair.”

When I first read that, I didn’t believe it. Can you?  How can we be so clear of  the benefits and power of therapy if  that many in our profession  have never tried it?

The reasons that therapists don’t seek therapy are interesting. Some say they felt they never needed it. Others say that they have other ways to reduce stress and do their personal growth – such as meditation or yoga.

Physician – heal thyself.

I have met therapists like that. In my graduate school, many of the students had never been in therapy. They hadn’t spent anytime on their family of origin issues or had someone be a mirror looking at their cognitions and behavior. I asked one gal why she never sought therapy and she blinked a few times before responding, “I never needed it, I guess. I had a very happy childhood and I am happy now.”

Is it just me? Or is this a problem? Are we saying we are “good enough” and don’t need further exploration?

When discussing why therapy is important, Virginia Satir once said, “We can’t see our own backside.” Truer words cannot be said. We don’t know what we don’t know.  Have you ever stood behind the woman in the supermarket line who forgot to comb the back of her hair? You want to scream, “Get a mirror and check the back of your hair before you go out next time.”  Yet this is exactly what we are doing when we don’t seek  out someone to help us see what we can’t … when we don’t have our own mirror as a great therapist.

It is hard to help people grow past where you have grown.

These words were given to me by a sage supervisor when I was a brand new therapist. These words kept me in personal therapy for many years and helped me to grow into the woman and therapist I wanted to be. I look back at the person I was 20 years ago when I started my counseling training. I was perpetually scared. I had been single for many years even though I said I wanted to be married. I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t partnered yet. I lived many days with the sole goal of trying to be perfect – or at least trying to disguising the fact that I wasn’t.

So, back then, when clients came to me with similar issues, I could help them conceptually. I spent hours offering interventions and ideas. That supervisor told me “When you find yourself saying something over and over, maybe it is time you listened to yourself.”

The old joke is that therapists are the only people that need 30 hours of therapy a week.

Providing therapy certainly helps us become better clinicians and better people. We can’t help but grow personally and professionally with the myriad of  lessons our clients teach us.

Yet, isn’t it important to seek out our own personal growth as well?  Shouldn’t we seek out our own therapy? A knowledgeable, differentiated, empathic person  who can regularly challenge us to become more authentic, happier, and more content with our lives and ourselves?  Why aren’t all of us turning to therapy to help us  become  the person we are called to be? Especially since we profess to others the benefits.

There are many laws and ethical guidelines to protect the client from inappropriate therapists and therapy. These include everything from sexual contact to record keeping. Somedays I think there are too many laws – and some of them harm more than they help.

But what about the client who chooses and bonds with a therapist who has not done the internal personal growth work necessary to be really helpful to the client? Is it just a Darwinism? The client leaves when the therapist is no longer helpful?

I sincerely wonder how many clients leave therapy thinking they failed when in reality the therapist’s unexplored personal issues got in the way.

Daily our clients put their hearts, their hopes and their trust in us.

They deserve our best. While we will never “have it all together” – I think it is essential that we do what we can to make sure we provide the safest place for them…the place where they to can grow into the whole, happy person they are called to be.

Yes, there many things we can do to increase our effectiveness. Continuing education is mandated and important.  Supervision is powerful and, in my opinion, necessary – no matter how seasoned the therapist. Mediation and yoga can bring us back to ourselves in extraordinary ways.

Is it enough? Is it okay that 20 – 25% of clinicians are treating people without ever having sought therapy themselves?

Does saying we believe in therapy but feeling we (personally) don’t need it, say something about us?  Some might call that a bit narcissistic.

How can we walk in integrity with our profession if we don’t respect it enough to take advantage of the numerous benefits?

Last year, I formed the International Therapist Leadership Institute – an organization dedicated to enhancing and enriching the lives and careers of therapists worldwide. It came to me one day when I was listening to a commercial spoofing therapy. The (spoofed) therapist was charging the client for tissues and for privacy.

I decided that I didn’t want the general public to believe that type of nonsense. I want our profession and the dedicated clinicians in it to be respected. I want the general public to see therapy as an effective solution to emotional or relational problems.

I want the respect our profession once had to be returned.

But, hey, just between us…why do you think that we lack some respect? Is it that many therapists are getting licensed or credentialed without looking at their own issues?

We owe it to ourselves and to our clients to do the best work we can. While I don’t think therapists need to be in therapy forever,  it is important to take the time to see what we cannot see. As we do, we can grow in ways that serve us, our families and our clients.

I believe it is an issue of integrity. We need to walk our talk.

So, I ask again, who is sitting in your chair?

I welcome your comments! Feel free to leave them below.

In your service,
Casey Truffo

Casey Truffo, MFT is a licensed psychotherapist, award winning speaker, and author of Be A Wealthy Therapist: Finally You Can Make a Living While Making a Difference. She is a mentor coach to therapists on five continents. Her mission is to support and enhance the lives and careers of therapists worldwide. For your free five-part report. “The Future of Therapy – Don’t Let These Five Things Catch You By Surprise.” visit: http://www.TherapistLeadershipInstitute.com

This past Sunday, I ran the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5K. Thanks to you who helped me raise money for the cause. Please know your loved ones were in my heart as I ran. (And for those who gave me names, they were on my back as well as in my heart.)

If you are new to our community then you may not know that I am very shy.  If I am on-stage, I am fine. But put me in a room with people I don’t know and I am just about paralyzed. My mouth becomes dry. I feel a foot shorter than everyone else (well, usually I am so maybe that is real.)

What is going on? I could go into all the family of origin issues that still trigger me but, as a therapist, you’ve heard them all before. I think the bigger question is what do I do or think when I go into that place? I jump into “judger mode” and my self-talk is all about how silly I am acting – which leads to more withdrawal and more judging. Ugh.

For years I developed coping mechanisms. You’ve heard them too. (I shared them with my readers so they too could cope.) I’d “be the bride” at networking events and make sure everyone was having a good time. I’d be the welcoming committee and again, make sure I connected with everyone in my role. At times I pretended I was my stepmother Barbara who can talk to anyone on the planet.

You know what? It worked. I got to know a lot of people and built a nice business. But it was very hard work – like trying to quit smoking in a cigar bar. White knuckling can be exhausting. I’d attend a workshop and hide in my room for a long time trying to recover.

But what if I could endorse what I consider a weakness instead of judging my shyness so negatively? Not just accept and cope – but actually endorse it like one does with a product or service they love. Could I see it as a positive and wonderful part of me that can lead to wonderful opportunities?

While no means complete, I have begun to do just that. I have asked myself “What has my shyness done for me and for those I want to help, support and serve?”

The answer makes me very happy. My shyness led me to create a wonderful online community with International Therapist Leadership Institute. Otherwise, how would you and I have met? How would we have been able to have the depth of conversation that we do?

My shyness and sharing my story has led me to hear stories of other shy therapists. One of my early practice building tips was to “pretend to be an extrovert.” While possible, it actually encouraged shy therapists to be less than authentic. This was unsettling to me and led to the exploration of the diversity of therapists’ personalities. I discovered that when therapists pursued marketing activities that matched their personality, they were more successful and happier. This led to the development of the Four Marketing Personality Types and the associated marketing activities matrix discussed in my book, Be A Wealthy Therapist.

My shyness is a part of me – a beautiful, precious part that allows me to connect in unique ways that I probably wouldn’t pursue if I were an extrovert. It allows me to find marketing activities that support rather than exhaust other shy therapists. It also helps me to appreciate the diversity in our community. I am extraordinarily grateful for the gift of my shyness.

I expect that I will from time to time switch back into “judger” mode and start to be afraid or worried about my shyness – especially when I enter large rooms of people I do not know. My plan, however, is to come back to my truth as I have shared it here with you. It is in the learning and appreciating that we become whole.

What about you? Can you endorse your weaknesses? Can you notice when you are judging and switch to “learner?” … asking yourself what gifts that a perceived weakness offers you and, in turn, offers the world? It takes some thought and openness and I hope you find your answers too.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and reading your comments. And if you relate at all to this post, I invite you to click the tweet button or the share button to share it with your Facebook or Twitter colleagues.

Thanks for being along for the ride with me.

Running (well, jogging) has taught me a lot about business. For example – setting goals.

When preparing for a race, runners usually will set a time goal. For my first half-marathon, my goal was to finish the same day I started. I met that goal!

My second half-marathon – at Disneyland – had me stumped about a goal. I wanted to finish in less time than the first one but what should I shoot for? So I picked a time – under 3 hours. (For a new walker-jogger that seemed like a good goal.)

But something happened along the way. It was going quite well (I hadn’t fallen down and was passing some people) so I started to adjust the time in my head. “What about 2 hours and 50 minutes?” “Could I finish 2 hours and 30 minutes?”

My running watch had gone goofy so I wasn’t sure how long I had been running but somehow I convinced myself that I could finish in 2 and a half hours.

That would be a whopping 50 minutes less than the last one just 4 months earlier (which most running coaches will tell you is impossible.)

I crossed the finish line at 2 hours and 41 minutes. This was an amazing 35 minutes faster than last time. But my brain was saying “Not good enough – it should have been 11 minutes faster.” Instead of being really happy, I found myself feeling defeated.

Today I read some great advice that applies not only to running but to all goal setting.

“Instead of a single goal, set three goals: one for acceptable, one for really good and one for FANTASTIC.”

How can you apply that to your life and your goals?

Perhaps you might set three goals for your number of clients or monthly income or marketing efforts. Or maybe you can use it with your clients or family.

As always, I am curious what you think.

I am the one in green.

You and I know that technology is moving faster than we can even keep up. What was optional even two years ago is a necessity now.

Amber, my online business manager and I were talking yesterday about this. When we first started working together years ago, not everyone had email addresses. And most therapists didn’t have websites and the online therapist locators didn’t exist. Yet here we are – some of us have so many email addresses we can hardly keep track.

So, I am going out on a limb here and say that you need to give something of value away for free on your site. I don’t think this is really optional anymore. We call this no-charge item a pink spoon – a free taste – just like the tiny taste you get at the ice cream store. This pink spoon is important whether you want a multiple streams of therapy income business or want to increase the number of clients coming into your practice.

Chris Anderson, business author of the book FREE writes that the culture expects to search the web and view and download information at no-charge. Take a look at You Tube – where you can view millions of videos at no-charge. My 83 year-old Dad enjoys sharing his favorites with us. (He loved Susan Boyle and the Von Trapp dancing in the Belgium train station – but, really, who didn’t?)

I predict that in the not to distant future, websites that market a practice without offering a no-charge informational product will be passed over in favor of those that do. Anderson suggests that sooner or later all businesses will need to learn how to compete with “free.”

Actually this is great news for you! You have a ton of information in your head and in your heart that can help people. You helped the young mother who was terrified when she found out she was pregnant again. You helped the estranged couple to find love with each other again. A frightened child can smile again thanks to you. Your wisdom, day after day, session after session, heals and transforms. The powerful questions that you invite your clients to consider propel them to happier, more functional lives. Imagine how wonderful it would be if more people had a chance to experience that wisdom. By putting a no-charge info product (audio, report or video) on your website, you help people you may never meet in person. Plus you will create demand for people who want to go deeper and do one on one work with you.

What does it take to create your pink spoon? First, ask yourself “What would my web visitor be interested in?” Then decide if you want to create a written, video or audio product. Today you will find that there are some very simple tools to help you create your first pink spoon.

After that, you’ll need some technical skill or a high school student to help you get it on your site. Then keep track of how many downloads it so you know how well it is working for you.

It is just about here that I find many bright, motivated therapists seem to, well, stop. They have thought about a pink spoon and have some ideas for content. But the transition from idea to product seems difficult.

Is this you? Do you find yourself with ideas but for some reason haven’t moved ahead in ways you’d like? A client of mine in North America recently said “When I’m afraid it won’t be perfect, I stop myself.” Here is the advice I offered her: Focus on completion not perfection. While it is important to think about the content of your pink spoon and how you want to deliver it, don’t let the desire to make is perfect keep you stuck. Set a date. Get it done. After all I can tell you from experience, it will never be perfect – you will revise it later. So here is your permission to make it just ‘good enough’.

And please share your pink spoon with us on here on the blog in the comments section below.

Want more? We are planning a Pink Spoon beta coaching group later in the fall for those who are ready to create their first pink spoon. If you’d like to be advised of the details, join our Pink Spoon Community here.

Also, I will be presenting at the Practice Building Virtual Conference on “How to Create a Pink Spoon for Your Practice.” More details on the conference are here: http://www.practicebuildingconference.com.

You are a natural.

For some time now I have said that therapists are the best marketing people around because they are so interested in other people. Sales people spend a fortune going to classes to learn how to do what comes naturally to therapists.

Case in point – here is a great blog post from Coppyblogger – a blog devoted to writing great marketing copy (text). Let me know what you think.
http://www.copyblogger.com/market-like-apsychotherapist/