Bob and I would like to invite you to our Holiday Open House – Sunday, Dec 6, 2009 from 4 – 7 pm at our home in Tustin Ranch, California. Bring the family and visit with us for a bit. We’ll have some baked treats and appetizers. We’d love to see you. And Bob will have the trains running for any young (or young at heart) train lovers.

If you’d like to come, please click here to rsvp and let us know how many are coming with you. We will email you the directions!

Much love,

Casey

My private practice began in a local church. And while I didn’t have a specialty back then, I did end up with quite a few grief cases. One was a lovely woman (Marcia) in her 50’s whose father was in a nursing home just barely hanging on. Marcia’s mother and sister had long abandoned him and Marcia visited him every day.

“I am not ready for him to leave me.” she whispered through tears.

As a very green therapist, I had no idea what to do or say. I nodded empathically while I searched my internal toolbox of therapeutic interventions.

And nothing came – no brilliant thing to say or thing to do. So I just kept nodding like some bobble head doll and occasionally murmuring, “I know. I know.”

When she left, Marcia thanked me for the session. She came back for 3 more sessions and we both did the same. She talked about “letting go” of her dad and I nodded and said “I know.”

Fast forward about a month. The Rodney King trial verdict resulted in horrible rioting and looting in Los Angeles. While I didn’t live downtown, I could still see the fires from my home and our power was going off and on. While I watched in horror, my pager beeped. Betty at my answering service left a message that Marcia had called. “You better call her right away,” Betty advised. When I could get to a phone that worked, I called her.

Marcia answered with “Casey, oh my gosh! How did you know to call me? My Dad died today.”

Apparently, Marcia had not left a message with my answering service for me to call her. While that was freaking me out, I went back to listening.

“I think my father was hanging on for me. And the work we did together – you and I? Well, I think he knew I would be okay if he left – that I was able to let him go. While I am very sad, I am so grateful to you. You have no idea how important that was. You helped me let him go.”

Now part of me was still wondering how my answering service got a message that Marcia didn’t leave. I tried to brush that away to just be there for her.

Four sessions. I said almost nothing except the occasional “I know.”

Marcia moved to a part of the world where she’d always wanted to live and we didn’t stay in contact. I continued with my practice at the church. Life goes on.

Six months later my mother passed away. Marcia kept coming to my mind. Suddenly I realized that in those four sessions with her, I had been “pre-grieving” the loss of my own ill mother.

After a lovely memorial mass for my mother, I stopped by my mail box at the church.

Postmarked from an exotic country was a card from Marcia.

It simply said “I know. I know.”

No matter how old I get or how long I do this work, I am amazed at how connected we are to each other. Maybe it is Chaos theory. A butterfly in Brazil affects the weather in Kansas. Maybe it a God or the Universe connecting us in ways we could ever imagine.

All I know is that being a therapist is not just a calling but a gift – to you who do the work and to those you serve. And while you might never be aware of the incredible impact you make in this world, I just want you to know, that …

I know.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and your stories.

Should we save you a seat?

After my recent experience with managing my “introvert” energy at a conference, I decided it is time to get together again in-person!

I want to give you a quick head’s up that the much-requested live event from International Therapist Leadership Institute will take place on April 15 through 17, 2010 in southern California.

This will be no ordinary professional conference. It will be all about you – your vision, your business, your life. It will be filled with unparalleled conversation and content intended to nourish and inspire you. I am raising the bar on anything I have done before and I hope you will be there to join me. Three days together. I can’t wait.

Click here to join our Advance Notice Community Now to get more details and to hear about the PRE-launch early bird pricing.

Are you struggling a bit to identify your ideal client?

If you are like many therapists and healers, choosing a specialty (and an ideal client) to market to can be difficult and maybe even frustrating.

To help you clarify your purpose I am offering a new no-charge teleclass called:

Called to Serve: Find Your Unique Purpose and Fill Your Appointment Book!

Register here: http://bit.ly/idealclient and receive your copy of this teleclass

On this new and exciting call you’ll learn:

1. My favorite technique for exploring purpose. (Hint: This is a version of a Jungian technique I think you will enjoy.)
2. The number one thing you can do to keep yourself on-track with your purpose.
3. 3-steps to speaking about your purpose to others.
4. The next steps for you … “Okay – I know my purpose – now what?”
5. How to find out daily if you are living and marketing your business “on purpose.”

This call is for you if:

1. You are a heart-centered professional who loves the idea of “staying on purpose.”
2. You are excited about learning an easy and powerful process to affirm your gift or blessing to the world.
3. You are tired of attracting the wrong (or not enough) clients and want to see how knowing your gift might lead to a full
   appointment book.
4. You are a ready for your life and marketing your practice to be easier and more fun with more clarity of your calling.
5. You want a process to be clearer on your specialty and ideal client – and ready for it to be personal and meaningful.

This no-charge call is actually a preview call to my new 2-part plus Q&A teleseries of the same name where we will go deeper into your purpose, your ideal client and how to talk about what you do so people say “I want you!”

But first, I hope you will register and listen in on this no-charge teleclass:

Called to Serve: Find Your Unique Purpose and Fill Your Appointment Book!

Register here.

With love and blessings.
Casey

For years I have encouraged therapists and healers to talk about what they do in words beyond “I am a therapist” or “I am a coach” or “I am a massage therapist”.

Because as soon as you label yourself that way, you’ve put yourself in a category in the other person’s brain. And if you could take a snapshot into the other person’s brain when you said that, you might see the response as “Don’t want one” or “Have one, don’t want another one.”

What is more important than the label is to be aware of your gift and the joy your gift offers others.

For example, you may help new step-moms get along with their husband’s children.

Or you may teach little ones how to make friends.

For me, what I do best is translating. My younger sister decided not to speak until she was three and a half years old. During those years, I served as her ambassador to the world. I explained to the big people when she needed food or drink or needed to go to the bathroom.

That same skill of translating helped me teach social dancing to those who were very uncoordinated as I explained which muscles to contract to create movement. You can’t imagine the joy I felt when I saw these former wallflowers on the dance floor enjoying themselves and looking great.

Years later, I was honored to help many couples and families in my therapy office as I translated “needs.” Today I teach therapists and healers how to translate their gifts to the world so they could fill their appointment books with new clients.

I invite you to consider this …

1. How do you use “translating” in your work?
2. How would you describe the value people receive from the translating you do in your work?
3. Where is there opportunity for more value for you and your business using translating?

First of all, thanks to all of you who sent me such loving support when I disclosed my shyness and discomfort with networking.

This past weekend, I had the chance to practice interacting for several days at a large marketing conference and came home truly feeling like a new person.

This was the first conference I attended where I chose to look for new ways to “be” – and invoke less of my two (usual) knee-jerk reactions to crowds: 1) Hide or 2) Be in charge of making sure everyone was cared for.

The results? For the most part, I allowed myself to just be quiet but when I felt called to speak I did. I also allowed myself to enjoy and be energized by one-to-one interactions during breaks. I still have a ways to go (I must have asked a dozen people if I could get them a glass of water.) But as I said, I came home energized which tells me a lot about how I handled the energy.

The event was lovely and upbeat. I met lots of people – including several of you who read the newsletter! It was simply a joy to be in and around so many forward thinking people.

SHALL WE MEET IN PERSON?

I enjoyed this in-person conference so much, I am considering holding my own live event. It has been over a year since we held one – what do you think?

Sound like fun? If so, please comment below or shoot us an email at Support@InTLI.com

If you weren’t able to listen to all the presenters at the Practice Building Virtual Conference, I am pleased to share some of the words of wisdom that I enjoyed. (I have paraphrased what I heard.)

A.) Carol Look, EFT and Abundance Master: It is our beliefs that can limit our marketing success. If your caseload isn’t where you want, ask “How is my current caseload serving me?” You may find an answer.

B.) Lynn Grodzki, Marketing Coach and Therapist: In your business (and in your marketing) look for where you are dependant in an unhealthy way. Over time commit to being autonomous.

C.) Bill O’Hanlon, psychotically optimistic therapist and speaker: A great way to get invited to speak is to write a book. Books give you instant credibility and prestige, even if people haven’t read them.

D.) Juliet Austin, Marketing Coach and Copywriter: Did you know that when we look at a website, that our eyes scan in an “F” pattern. We starting in the top left, scan to the right and then down and the to the right again before going down vertically again.

E.) Joe Bavonese, Marketing Coach and Psychologist: Social Networking is an amazing tool that makes it easier than ever to share your wisdom, to touch more people’s lives, and to fulfill your purpose. (That said) Facebook has a serious boundary problem. You should carefully review the Privacy Settings before posting anything on Facebook.

F.) Ofer Zur, Psychologist and CEU Provider: Money issues are tied to security, self-esteen, identity and power. Neglecting to discuss financial concerns with clients is tantamount to ignoring the proverbial elephant in the room. Not only is this confusing, it is “crazy making” not to discuss obvious issues so crucial to our survival and mental health.

G.) Glenn Heaton, Chill Sessions: For just a couple of dollars apiece, you can create CDs that you can sell for profit or give away as a marketing activity.

H.) Larina Kase, Marketing Coach and Psychologist: Your ‘platform’ has four components – you (your credibility and your expertise), your message, your niche, and the way you are going to share your message (your marketing.)

I.) Peter Hannah, Your Google Guy and Therapist: The next big thing on the internet (and for those building practices) will be video.

J.) Miranda Palmer, Pre-licensed Marketing Coach and Therapist: Pre-licensed people can make more than licensed people.

K.) Jodi Blackley, Therapist and Networking Expert: When going to a networking event, decide on your personal goals before arriving at the event. Who do you want to meet? How many new people do you want to get to know?

L.) DeeAnna Merz Nagel, Online Therapy Expert and Therapist: More and more people will be asking for therapy services and contact via text. Make sure you use an encrypted email program if you are going to communicate via email.

(Note from me, Casey: While there will always be a place for face-to-face therapy, I predict Online Therapy will be one of the fastest growing services in the next 3 years.)

M.) Barbara Griswold, Insurance Expert and Therapist: No longer is it true that a provider is required to do tons of paperwork when on managed care insurance panels.

N.) Coach Tiffany T, Website Marketing Coach: On your website FAQs page, answer potential objections (and fears) that your ideal client would have prior to making an appointment. For example, if your ideal cleint was someone getting over a broken heart, your could write on your FAQS page: “My family is telling me to just get over him, but I am still hurting. Are you going to tell me that too?”

I hope this taste gives you the flavor of the conference. We had such a great time. (If you want, you can still enjoy the conference via the recordings at: http://PracticeBuildingConference.com)

Until next time, I am holding the vision for you!

Hugs,
Casey

Below you will find a quick powerpoint video presentation I created for you called “5 Steps to a Full Practice” – it is simply a refresher (and contains a little about the conference) but if you are looking for a little pick-me-up I hope you will enjoy it.

Just press the play arrow – or if you don’t see one, then you can see the powerpoint here. (It takes a few moments to load up.)

Your speakers must be on.

New white paper: The therapist as client…Or not? Should therapists be in therapy?

(Download a copy of this white paper to your computer by clicking here or simply read it below.)

Most therapists I know go into this field to help people.

I bet you did too. Humor me for a second as I invite you to do a short visualization exercise.

I want you to think about one of your favorite therapy client success stories. Remember that special client and the pain or confusion they experienced before seeking your counsel.

Picture them in your mind when they first came into your office. Remember their posture, tone of voice and the energy  they projected. Now, fast forward through your treatment and see them emerging. The pain is less (or gone). The fear is manageable and the future looks incredibly bright. Breathe in the joy that you feel when you look at the transformation with that client.

What an amazing  privilege it is to be a therapist.

People share their deepest worries and pain with us. They trust us with their hearts and their future. It is an amazing honor to do this work.

And month after month, we help people. No matter what your theoretical orientation, we do this work because we want to help people. We believe in the healing process  of our work.  Simply put, we believe in therapy.

Incredibly, the Psychotherapy Networker reports: “Surveys find that 20 to 25% of therapists have never sat in the client’s chair.”

When I first read that, I didn’t believe it. Can you?  How can we be so clear of  the benefits and power of therapy if  that many in our profession  have never tried it?

The reasons that therapists don’t seek therapy are interesting. Some say they felt they never needed it. Others say that they have other ways to reduce stress and do their personal growth – such as meditation or yoga.

Physician – heal thyself.

I have met therapists like that. In my graduate school, many of the students had never been in therapy. They hadn’t spent anytime on their family of origin issues or had someone be a mirror looking at their cognitions and behavior. I asked one gal why she never sought therapy and she blinked a few times before responding, “I never needed it, I guess. I had a very happy childhood and I am happy now.”

Is it just me? Or is this a problem? Are we saying we are “good enough” and don’t need further exploration?

When discussing why therapy is important, Virginia Satir once said, “We can’t see our own backside.” Truer words cannot be said. We don’t know what we don’t know.  Have you ever stood behind the woman in the supermarket line who forgot to comb the back of her hair? You want to scream, “Get a mirror and check the back of your hair before you go out next time.”  Yet this is exactly what we are doing when we don’t seek  out someone to help us see what we can’t … when we don’t have our own mirror as a great therapist.

It is hard to help people grow past where you have grown.

These words were given to me by a sage supervisor when I was a brand new therapist. These words kept me in personal therapy for many years and helped me to grow into the woman and therapist I wanted to be. I look back at the person I was 20 years ago when I started my counseling training. I was perpetually scared. I had been single for many years even though I said I wanted to be married. I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t partnered yet. I lived many days with the sole goal of trying to be perfect – or at least trying to disguising the fact that I wasn’t.

So, back then, when clients came to me with similar issues, I could help them conceptually. I spent hours offering interventions and ideas. That supervisor told me “When you find yourself saying something over and over, maybe it is time you listened to yourself.”

The old joke is that therapists are the only people that need 30 hours of therapy a week.

Providing therapy certainly helps us become better clinicians and better people. We can’t help but grow personally and professionally with the myriad of  lessons our clients teach us.

Yet, isn’t it important to seek out our own personal growth as well?  Shouldn’t we seek out our own therapy? A knowledgeable, differentiated, empathic person  who can regularly challenge us to become more authentic, happier, and more content with our lives and ourselves?  Why aren’t all of us turning to therapy to help us  become  the person we are called to be? Especially since we profess to others the benefits.

There are many laws and ethical guidelines to protect the client from inappropriate therapists and therapy. These include everything from sexual contact to record keeping. Somedays I think there are too many laws – and some of them harm more than they help.

But what about the client who chooses and bonds with a therapist who has not done the internal personal growth work necessary to be really helpful to the client? Is it just a Darwinism? The client leaves when the therapist is no longer helpful?

I sincerely wonder how many clients leave therapy thinking they failed when in reality the therapist’s unexplored personal issues got in the way.

Daily our clients put their hearts, their hopes and their trust in us.

They deserve our best. While we will never “have it all together” – I think it is essential that we do what we can to make sure we provide the safest place for them…the place where they to can grow into the whole, happy person they are called to be.

Yes, there many things we can do to increase our effectiveness. Continuing education is mandated and important.  Supervision is powerful and, in my opinion, necessary – no matter how seasoned the therapist. Mediation and yoga can bring us back to ourselves in extraordinary ways.

Is it enough? Is it okay that 20 – 25% of clinicians are treating people without ever having sought therapy themselves?

Does saying we believe in therapy but feeling we (personally) don’t need it, say something about us?  Some might call that a bit narcissistic.

How can we walk in integrity with our profession if we don’t respect it enough to take advantage of the numerous benefits?

Last year, I formed the International Therapist Leadership Institute – an organization dedicated to enhancing and enriching the lives and careers of therapists worldwide. It came to me one day when I was listening to a commercial spoofing therapy. The (spoofed) therapist was charging the client for tissues and for privacy.

I decided that I didn’t want the general public to believe that type of nonsense. I want our profession and the dedicated clinicians in it to be respected. I want the general public to see therapy as an effective solution to emotional or relational problems.

I want the respect our profession once had to be returned.

But, hey, just between us…why do you think that we lack some respect? Is it that many therapists are getting licensed or credentialed without looking at their own issues?

We owe it to ourselves and to our clients to do the best work we can. While I don’t think therapists need to be in therapy forever,  it is important to take the time to see what we cannot see. As we do, we can grow in ways that serve us, our families and our clients.

I believe it is an issue of integrity. We need to walk our talk.

So, I ask again, who is sitting in your chair?

I welcome your comments! Feel free to leave them below.

In your service,
Casey Truffo

Casey Truffo, MFT is a licensed psychotherapist, award winning speaker, and author of Be A Wealthy Therapist: Finally You Can Make a Living While Making a Difference. She is a mentor coach to therapists on five continents. Her mission is to support and enhance the lives and careers of therapists worldwide. For your free five-part report. “The Future of Therapy – Don’t Let These Five Things Catch You By Surprise.” visit: http://www.TherapistLeadershipInstitute.com

This past Sunday, I ran the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5K. Thanks to you who helped me raise money for the cause. Please know your loved ones were in my heart as I ran. (And for those who gave me names, they were on my back as well as in my heart.)