My son has been invited to his very first non-family sleepover. At age 11, many kids have already had sleepovers with their friends but my son has only stayed the night at my sister’s house and has only had his 12 year-old cousin stay the night at our house.

This Saturday, he will be staying the night at a friend’s house with a few classmates. While this may seem like a non-issue to most families, when you are dealing with autism (even high-functioning autism), epilepsy and medications, it is anything but a non-issue.

Alex is aware of his differences and for the most part he embraces them but every now and then he wishes he wasn’t different. Every day at the end of lunch he goes to the nurse for the afternoon dose of his epilepsy medication. His classmates know about it but he’s a little nervous about having to take medication at his friend’s house. I need to talk to his friend’s mom to see if she’s comfortable giving him his medication. If not, I can always stop by and say quickly say hi and give Alex his meds.

In addition to his epilepsy medication, Alex also takes medicine to help him sleep. Clonidine is commonly prescribed to children on the autism spectrum to help them sleep. However, I explained to Alex that at a ‘slumber party’ the last thing he may want to be is the kid slumbering deeply.

I explained about the slumber parties of my youth – hands in water, shaving cream on the hands and a tickle on the nose, etc. Essentially the first person that fell asleep was pranked. Now this may not have been nice but everyone in attendance knew that this would happen. If Alex is the first to fall asleep and he gets pranked, it is likely to ruin his entire evening.

When he takes clonidine to sleep, not only does he sleep deeply but he is very grouchy if he wakes up too soon. I’d hate for him to verbally accost his friends in a sleepy stupor. So, we’ve made the decision to skip the clonidine for the party. He may not get much sleep but how many kids really sleep well during a sleepover anyhow?

I admit, I’m nervous about the sleepover. I hope that he has a lot of fun and that this is the first of many sleepover invitations in his future. I just have to get over the hurdle of the first night over at a friend’s house.

Has your child with autism had a sleepover at a friend’s house? If so, how did it go?

I have a digital subscription to Sensory Focus and while all of the information is great, one of the articles in the April 2013 issue caught my eye – Self-Advocacy in SPD: Knowledge is Power by Jennifer McIlwee Myers. I am a big proponent of self-advocacy and my children have been involved in their IEP meetings since they were old enough to understand and provide valuable input.

In the article, Ms. Myers explains how her parents gave her two tools to help keep her sensory processing disorder at a manageable level.

“First, my parents taught me that I could change situations, and they helped me learn how to do it. It is all too easy to overprotect a child who has SPD and Asperger’s syndrome, and even though neither of those things had a name when I was growing up, y mom noticed early that I tended to hide behind adults and try to get them to handle problems for me. My folks weren’t having any of that.”

As a mom, this is something I battle daily. I want to be there for my children, specifically my son as he goes through some struggles with school, but I also want to make sure he has the tools he needs to make his own choices and take his own actions. Helicopter parenting is an easy thing to do when your child is on the autism spectrum but as in parenting a neurotypical child, it can be as harmful as it can be helpful.

The second thing her parents taught her is that knowledge is power. Myers explains, “When I first received a diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome, I picked up some books that had sections on SPD. I started reading about how sensory problems could make normal experiences difficult and what those sensory problems look like.”

Knowledge is, indeed, power and that is why my husband and I made the decision to tell our children about their differences when we felt they were at a level they could understand. I know not all parents that have children with high-function autism and/or sensory processing disorder make the same choice but for us, it was important that our children be involved in all aspects of their care and treatment. If they weren’t aware that there was a name for these differences, it would be difficult to have them involved. I didn’t think we’d be able to bring them into IEP and other meetings while having to dance around the A-word.

A big thank you to Ms. Myers for sharing her experiences, as a mom it helps me better understand what my children go through when they are experiencing sensory overload.

For more information, check out the Sensory World website to subscribe to Sensory Focus magazine. If you subscribe, enter discount code MHO to save 15% off of your subscription fee.

I’ve just made a round of updates to my autism school list including my first schools in Nevada, Oklahoma, South Carolina and Washington State. The following new schools have been added:

Journey Learning Center
2100 W. Northwest Highway, Suite 202
Grapevine, Texas 76051
Phone: (817) 416-9797

Montcalm School for Boys and Girls
13725 Starr Commonwealth Road
Albion, Michigan 49224
Phone: (866) 244-4321
Phone: (517) 630-2512

Excel Academy
116 West Church Street
Newark, Ohio 43055
Phone: (740) 323-1102
Fax: (740) 349-5834

The Auburn School – Baltimore Campus
1710 Dulaney Valley Road
Lutherville, Maryland 21093
Phone: (410) 321-4799
Fax: (410) 321-4557

The Auburn School – Silver Spring Campus
9545 Georgia Avenue
Silver Spring, Maryland 20910
Phone: (301) 588-8048
Fax: (301) 588-8045

The Auburn School – Herndon Campus
13525 Dulles Technology Drive Suite 101
Herndon, Virginia 20171
Phone: (703) 793-9353
Fax: (703) 793-9355

The Empower School
1825 Fortview Road Suite 105
Austin, Texas 78704
Phone: (512) 351-7837

Good Shepherd Catholic School at Mercy
13404 North Meridian Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73120
Phone: (405) 752-2264

Capable Kids
2728 Holland-Sylvania Road
Toledo, Ohio 43615
Phone: (419) 346-8269

Promedica’s Autism Early Learning Program
2040 W Central Ave
Toledo, Ohio 43606
Phone: (419) 291-7080

Mercy’s Autism Center
3521 Briarfield Blvd
Maumee, Ohio 43537
Phone: (419) 794-7259

Charleston Autism Academy
480 Jessen Lane
Wando, South Carolina
Phone: (843) 881-0330

The Autism Academy of South Carolina
2243 Percival Road
Columbia, South Carolina
Phone: (803) 790-7997

Brock’s Academy
17913 145th PL N.E.
Woodinville, Washington 98072
Phone: (425) 483-1353

Talisman Academy
2075 N. Rugby Road
Hendersonville, North Carolina 28791
Phone: (888) 458-8226

Autism Academy for Education and Development
Address: 1540 N. Burk Street
Gilbert, Arizona 85234
Phone: (480) 240-9255
Fax: (480) 718-8518

Building Blocks Center for Children with Autism
175 Deer Run Road
Danville, Virginia 24540
Phone: (434) 797-5531

Bridgeway House
3575 Donald Street
Eugene, Oregon 97405
Phone: (541) 345-0805

Newton Learning Center Northern Nevada
700 Greenbrae Drive
Sparks, Nevada
Phone: (775) 358-0808
Fax: (866) 261-2628

I’m hosting another New Trent contest, this time for the New Trent Arcadia Airbender iPad Keyboard Case. I purchased my first iPad the day the original version was released in 2010 and over the last three years I have tried several different keyboard cases. I’ve also tried to use an external Bluetooth keyboard with the iPad but nothing that I’ve tried worked as well as the Arcadia. I’m not just saying this because I’m hosting the contest, though, I am completely serious. I still have the Arcadia Airbender case on my iPad even though I’ve had more than enough time to test it for review purposes.

On a recent morning I found myself in the parent drop off line at my daughter’s school about 25 minutes before the bell was set to ring. I had to drop my son off at school early so instead of driving back home, waiting for 5 minutes, and taking my daughter to school we went a bit early. She sat in the backseat and read a book while I sat in the front seat and wrote an article. I’ve never had a more productive day in the parent drop off line.

Here’s a bit of the review I posted on Amazon.com in April after I’d had a few weeks to test the product, which works on all second generation or newer iPads:

Putting the clamshell case on my third generation iPad was simple. The Airbender isn’t a single-piece unit and that, alone, made it easier to install. After charging the device, it was time to test out the keyboard.

I am particular about the feel of the keyboards that I use and the Airbender did not disappoint. The keys aren’t overly spongy, which is a problem I’ve had with other iPad keyboard cases. Each key clicked nicely and the size and spacing was nice.

In addition to the standard keyboard keys, the Airbender also includes a variety of shortcut keys that I’ve never seen on other keyboard cases I’ve purchased. Shortcuts include brightness keys, volume controls, an auto-lock key, photos and more.

If I hadn’t been won over by the keyboard, then the fact that the shell is actually a three-piece product would have won me over. The keyboard detaches from the iPad; when you keep the swivel base attached to the iPad you can set your tablet up like a traditional desktop computer system.

The contest ends on May 28, 2013 at 12:00 am and one lucky U.S.-based winner will receive a New Trent Arcadia Airbender. Enter by filling out the appropriate items in the Rafflecopter Giveaway widget below.

If you’re not in the market for an iPad case, check out New Trent’s special offers on other tech gadgets or visit the New Trent website.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Today was photo day for Ava’s upcoming ballet performance. Before her professional photo I grabbed this quick shot with my iPhone. I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it many more times, I am so thankful that we found ballet because it has been amazingly beneficial to Ava.

I’m continuing this week’s sensory-themed posts today with a book review of Yoga for Children: 200+ Yoga Poses, Breathing Exercises, and Meditations for Healthier, Happier, More Resilient Children by Lisa Flynn, E-RYT, RCYT. My children were first introduced to yoga when they were very young and it has proved to be a great way for them to calm themselves while building strength and coordination. When I was presented with the opportunity to review Yoga for Children I jumped on it.

Book Description:

Yoga for Children will encourage your child to learn about yoga with an attentive, at-home instructor – you! Even if you are new to the practice, author, mom, and children’s yoga expert Lisa Flynn will guide you and your child through more than 200 yoga poses, meditations and activities that are suitable for children between the ages of two and twelve. Complete with full-color photographs, instructional scripts, and pose modifications, Yoga for children will help build your child’s confidence, self-awareness, and focus while strengthening your connection – one yoga session at a time.

In addition to her early introduction to yoga, my 9 year-old daughter, Ava, has been exposed to a variety of yoga poses through her ballet program and so she gladly offered to share a few of the examples provided in the book. In the picture at the beginning of the post, Ava is doing the Upward Facing Dog. As you can see by her left elbow, she has joint hypermobility – don’t worry, hyperextending your elbow isn’t part of the pose.

The next pose she wanted to share (photo below) is called the Wheel. According to the book, The Wheel will improve spine flexibility, build strength and open the chest and lungs.

The Airplane is the third pose from the book she is demonstrating. The airplane improves balance and coordination and also strengthens and stretches the hamstrings, back and arms.

These are just three of the many poses in the book and if they look intimidating or beyond your child’s ability, don’t worry because the book has beginner poses as well. There is a reason Ava is demonstrating these poses and not me – if I were to demonstrate you’d see a nice happy Tree Pose and the Warrior II.

As I mentioned previously, this is another sensory-themed post but if you’re wondering how yoga could possibly be related to sensory integration, let me allow book author Lisa Flynn explain in her own words. I asked her about the benefits of yoga for children with sensory integration disorder and this is what she had to say.

“Children with autism, PDD, ADD and Sensory Integration Disorder (“SI” or “SID”) have difficulty receiving and processing information through their five senses, and then appropriately responding to it. This processing becomes increasingly challenging when a child is in a highly stimulating environment or is experiencing stress.

Traditionally, therapies involve structured and repetitive stimulation of the senses to help the child’s mind and body learn to constructively process the information coming in. Over time, the goal is for the child’s processing to become more automated with the outcome of appropriate response or behavior.

Sensory integration activities are inherent in the practice of yoga! Encouraging the engagement of the 5 main sensory systems; tactile, proprioceptive, vestibular, visual and auditory, yoga enhances body awareness, coordination, balance, focus, communication and socialization skills, anxiety reduction while building self confidence and self-esteem.”

Both yoga and dance, specifically ballet, have been tremendously beneficial to Ava. She has always been a sensory seeker and had coordination issues early on but now, as you can see from these photos, she is graceful, coordinated and quite strong.

I highly recommend Yoga for Children – Flynn presents the information in an easy-to-read and easy-to-follow format. Both of my children have enjoyed reading through the book and practicing the poses and meditations since we first received our review copy several weeks ago.

Future Horizons is hosting the Boise Sensory Conference at the Boise Centre in Idaho on Friday, May 17, 2013. The daylong conference kicks off with registration and a continental breakfast at 7:00 am concludes at 4:30 pm. If you are planning on attending this conference, don’t forget to use discount code MHO to save 15% off of your registration fee.

Boise Sensory Conference Details:

Location: Boise Center 850 West Front Street
Speakers:
Carol Kranowitz, MA – Sensory Processing Disorders in Children
By attending participants can:

• Identify and describe the six types of SPD and how they can affect the daily lives of children
• Recognize co-existing problems (e.g., visual, auditory, eating, sleeping, and emotional difficulties)
• Discuss several research studies by the world’s top investigators
• Demonstrate “In-Sync” activities, specifically designed to engage various sensory systems and thereby improve learning and regulate behavior

Jennifer McIlwee Myers – Growing Up With Sensory Issues
By attending participants can:

• Understand how SPD affects a child’s social and emotional world
• Change and improve “behavior problems” by understanding sensory needs
• Teach the child with SPD life skills that will improve his performance
• Build a child’s self-awareness to help increase functioning in multiple areas

Beth Aune, OTR/L – Behavior Solutions In & Beyond the Inclusive Classroom
By attending participants can:

• Accommodate learning differences in an inclusive classroom
• Interpret behavior as communication of sensory needs, social/emotional needs, and physical needs
• Address problem behaviors such as fidgeting, hyperactivity, hiding, and temper outbursts

Register online today and don’t forget to use discount code MHO to save 15% off of your registration red: Boise Sensory Conference Registration.

If you aren’t able to make it to Boise, find a 2013 autism or sensory conference in your area.

Photo: Boise Metro Chamber/Flickr

What do you do when your child with autism is over stimulated, over hyper and over tired? When one of my children was having one of those days we busted out our arsenal of heavy work activities. We learned about heavy work from our first occupational therapist many years ago. Basically, heavy work allows a child to receive an adequate amount of proprioceptive input; in turn the child will have better focus and increased self-regulation. Heavy work isn’t really work, though, it is actually fun. Next time your child with autism is over stimulated, try one of these 5 fun heavy work activities.

1. Push a Filled Laundry Basket
Get a laundry basket that is appropriate for your child’s size and fill it with weighted items. You want to ensure that the basket is heavy enough that it requires work on your child’s part, but not too heavy that he has to struggle to push it. Once the basket is filled, set up an obstacle course in your house and make a fun race out of it. Have long straight areas where the child can pick up some speed and then, depending on his age, put in some twists and turns adding a degree of difficulty.

2. Spend Some Time “Crashing”
A favorite activity of children who are sensory-seekers is crashing. They’ll crash into anything, or anyone, they see which can lead to injuries. Setting up a controlled area to crash lessens the likelihood of injury. A quick and easy way to do this is if you have a bean bag, or even some couch cushions, to use as a crash pad. Set these up on the floor and then put some blankets or other padding around the edges. Allow the child to jump into the crash area while under your constant supervision. This activity can provide endless fun for the child while also meeting his sensory needs.

3. Jumping
Something as simple as jumping can benefit a child’s need for sensory input. Naturally it’s the most fun if you have a trampoline, even a mini trampoline, however any form of jumping will do. If a child is old enough, using a jump rope or even a pogo stick is a great way to get some fun jumping in.

4. Wheelbarrow Walking
Good old-fashioned wheelbarrow walking, or even a fun wheelbarrow race, is another easy way to provide your child with some heavy work. Depending on the child’s age, you may need to support him at the waist. As he gets older, or more proficient at wheelbarrow walking, start moving your hands down to his hips and then progressively down his legs. Once he’s at a point where you just need to hold his ankles, challenge him by walking farther distances.

5. Clean the House
This one serves a dual purpose, your child can get some fun sensory work in and you’ll end up with sparkling floors! What child doesn’t like to emulate mommy or daddy and help them clean? Pushing around a vacuum, broom, or mop provides the child with proprioceptive input. Younger children can “help” with the use of a toy vacuum, broom, or mop.

Picking one or two of these sensory activities and implementing them into your day may lead to a calmer and more attentive child at the end of the day. An added benefit may be a restful night of sleep for a previously restless child. Always take your child’s cues; if he gets tired take a break, if he protests skip the activity. Heavy work activities are meant to be a fun way of meeting your child’s sensory needs.

Photo: Clover_1/Flickr

When my son was first diagnosed with autism, I was so relieved to finally understand and have an explanation for the difficult and sometimes bizarre behaviors that I would find myself explaining to strangers and friends alike that he was autistic. I still do that to some extent, but after a few months of allowing those behaviors to continue because he was “autistic” I came to the hard realization that it still isn’t okay.

My son may have a disability, and may react and act different than his neurotypical peers, but that does not mean he can be rude, or act up in public, or get whatever he wants. I was reminded sharply of the Helen Keller movie where her family just gave her everything because they felt bad and didn’t know how to communicate with her. She became a terror, and I know a lot of kids with and without disabilities that are terrors because of poor parenting or low expectations.

So now there are lots of rules at our house. Ben is getting really good at negotiating the rules. He has started to pay attention to what his cousins and friends are allowed to do and will frequently admonish me on my strictness. He likes rules, and he especially likes it when we write them down. In a way the rule setting helped his behavior more than any other technique or therapy. Once he knew what to expect and what was required of him, we were able to settle into a family routine that is usually quite peaceful. He is on top of his homework, slightly OCD about his chores and trades his responsibilities in for time playing video games. He is polite and learning to be kind, and when we are consistent with the rules he is well-behaved and happier.

There will always be some things he just cannot control or do, and those things we will continue to discuss and address in calmer, more teachable moments. In moments of severe distress, we have a plan, and it is one that he understands and abides by. It works for us, and I have seen it work for many children.

Autism is not an excuse to be rude, or mean, or out of control. It does make life harder and it makes our jobs as parents that much harder as we must consistently and repeatedly enforce rules in uncomfortable and often embarrassing situations. Studies and ABA therapy have proven that consistent adherence to a routine and a set of instructions and expectations can and will help our children learn to behave and function in society. It is so important that they learn and we all play our part as we consistently hold our children to higher standards. Not because we have to, or they need it, but because it is what is best for them.

Photo: vandys/Flickr

Recently there has been a lot of negative conversation in the online world about autism and blogging. Some people have very strong opinions about everything from medications to vaccinations, and diets. It is easy to criticize and tell people what to do; it is even harder to figure out what to do. I have decided that parents also have an autism spectrum. Some are devoted to behavioral therapies and treatments; others turn to natural medicine and detox, while others get mired down in guilt and helplessness. We are all at different point of development in our own lives, with our children, and on our journey to help our autistic children.

I am a middle of the road type of person. I have participated in behavioral therapy and seen its successes and weaknesses. I am a Health and Nutrition Coach and have definite opinions and viewpoints on the role that diet and nutrition play in our lives. I also have many viewpoints on medications, alternative therapies and the myriad of options that are out there for our kids. I am willing to try anything to help my son, but also know the limits of time and money when looking for answers.

Either way, we are all looking to help our children, and the focus should be on supporting and lifting each other rather than criticizing the path that a different family has taken. Each child presents with different symptoms, needs and concurrent diagnoses. We cannot judge where we have not been, but it is easier to be critical of others choices than it is to face the day-to-day reality of what autism truly means for us as an individual, as a family and as a community.

What is really disturbing, is that despite the different therapies and options available, despite the multiple studies and changes in treatment and even government policies, autism is on the rise. More and more children are affected by this disability, and no one really knows why or how to completely address the issue.

Many parents find their hopes and dreams altered or crushed when they receive this diagnosis for their child. Most have too much information to sort through, too much to try, and too little resources to do it all. I am going to ask for tolerance within the special needs community. We want that for our kids, but we need to demonstrate that ourselves in our dealings with our own attempts to cope with this life, and our dealings with others.

Photo: mimitalks, married, under grace/Flickr