I’ve been blessed with some of the most amazing friends – both online and in real life.  {And I am incredibly thankful for the URL friends who have become IRL friends over the past few years.}

URL friends turned IRL friends

The best friends are the ones who make me better … they challenge me and inspire me and spur me on to be more of who I am created to be.   Those authentic relationships have impacted my heart, my home, and my faith.  But friendships are not always easy … in fact, sometimes they are just downright hard.   Ruth gives us such a great example of how to be a true friend.

Ruth 2:5-12: Then Boaz said to his young man who was in charge of the reapers, “Whose young woman is this?” And the servant who was in charge of the reapers answered, “She is the young Moabite woman, who came back with Naomi from the country of Moab. She said, ‘Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves after the reapers.’ So she came, and she has continued from early morning until now, except for a short rest.” Then Boaz said to Ruth, “Now, listen, my daughter, do not go to glean in another field or leave this one, but keep close to my young women. Let your eyes be on the field that they are reaping, and go after them. Have I not charged the young men not to touch you? And when you are thirsty, go to the vessels and drink what the young men have drawn.” Then she fell on her face, bowing to the ground, and said to him, “Why have I found favor in your eyes, that you should take notice of me, since I am a foreigner?” But Boaz answered her, “All that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband has been fully told to me, and how you left your father and mother and your native land and came to a people that you did not know before. The Lord repay you for what you have done, and a full reward be given you by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!” (ESV)

Ruth’s actions spoke louder than her words ever could. Yes, she had made her strong statement of faith.  But she didn’t keep talking about it what she was going to do, she did it! Her careful attention to the care of Naomi had garnered her respect in spite of her Moabite heritage. She had lived out her pledge of devotion to Naomi and to the Lord … and Boaz was acknowledging her faithfulness.

Aren’t words easier than actions sometimes? Far too often, I fear it is my ongoing chatter that keeps me from learning and growing. Ruth listened … she observed … and she learned from doing so.

Thus we find our first lesson in friendship from Ruth:

Learn to talk less in order to know more.

James admonishes us in his epistle, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry …” (1:19).

In Proverbs there are countless instructions about the necessity of controlled speech. We learn more from listening than we do from talking!

In our friendships we need to be mindful to listen more than we talk. And to listen for the unspoken words as well. When we are determined to share what we think or what we know or what we have experienced, we miss out on the growth we can find from listening to others and learning from their experiences, maturity, and words.

Are you a good listener?  How has having a friend who really listens been an encouragement to you?

I’ve never met a woman who didn’t want to be considered beautiful. Lord knows I have struggled with the longing to be something other than myself. It seems we are genetically predisposed to wrestling insecurities about our physical appearance.

The truth is, beauty can be a burden. I knew it when I saw these hyacinths bent low, laying down heavy in the soil.

Ripe with blossoms, these beautiful girls can no longer stand up under the weight of their own glory.

Maybe longing for outward beauty is asking for a burden, more than a gift. Lesser flowers don’t struggle with this. Their small, yet striking blooms suit their narrow stems, they stand tall–unwavering. Sometimes what appears as less, really is more.

This got me thinking that beyond craving physical beauty, often times other places provide opportunity for us to be discontent–to wish we were something more, something other than.

Instead of longing for beauty, a bigger “flower bed” to bloom in, a more fragrant witness, or greater abundance of blossoms, we ought to crave the smaller things. 

Scripture repeatedly tells us to become more for Him, we must become less. (“He must become greater; I must become less.” John 3:30, NIV)

It doesn’t get more backwards than that. Why? Because our pride is a sin–a direct affront to our heavenly Father who created us, just as we are.

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6

I can write this not because I have arrived, but because this is my own journey. How much of my life have I lived wishing I was more–

God sweetly whispers it to me, “You’re enough”. 

I argue with Him, certain He doesn’t intend those words for me when He breathes them into my heart. I have never felt like enough.

But I know it, as I walk through this struggle, one imperfect footfall after another–He is talking to me. He’s talking to you.

Girlfriend, you are already beautiful. (You are altogether beautiful, my love;
there is no flaw in you. Song of Solomon 4:7)

You are already fragrant with the sweet aroma of grace poured out from the Father who made you. (Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognized by those on the way of salvation—an aroma redolent with life.You are right where He wants you to be for this moment, and you bloom boldly for Him. 2 Corinthians 2:15, The Message)

Trust that God will provide you with everything you need. You don’t need to be anything other than you are. Get low with me. Decrease and let Him increase.

What insecurities are you struggling with?  How can we pray for you?  Would you whisper it here in the comments and let us hold your hand and pray over you?  We’d be honored.

We are all seeking to live purposeful lives.  As women, mothers, wives, we want our days to count, our actions to matter.

Perhaps you’re like me:  a goal-setter, list-lover, gotta stay-on-tracker that truly appreciates big dreams broken down into manageable pieces to tackle.  I’m also known to ‘fly by the seat of my pants’ when it comes to creative ideas or thoughts, so really…I’m a bit eclectic in my approach.  Ahem.

However we ride these waters of navigating our days, I’m becoming more convinced of one principle for us all:

We should celebrate our lives.

We think of improving our lives, of areas needing change and ways to sharpen the saw.  Yet, in this productivity-driven society, do we pause to enjoy and acknowledge our accomplishments?  How often do we stop and celebrate not only birthdays, anniversaries, as important as they are…

…but also the work of our hands (and minds, and hearts).

Scripture is abundant with celebration.  God-ordained feasts filled the calendar of His people – ways to pause and remember seasons gone well.  I believe the same holds true for us today.  We too should find ways to celebrate!

Celebrate Milestones

As you set out new goals to tackle, give a shout out for one that you’ve already crossed off your list!  Big or simple achievements, new skills acquired, tough decisions made, or anything else you can think of.  Yes, move forward and reach toward the next step.  And, YES!  celebrate the ones you’ve already taken.

Celebrate Saying Goodbye

Have you left behind a bad habit, an unhealthy lifestyle, or worked hard to shed a few?  Are you overcoming fear, the comparison trap, or finally forgave that individual?  By all means — Celebrate!  Grab up a few trusted friends, share your steps forward and together wildly give thanks for how far you’ve come.  Think it’s a little self-centered?  Well, wouldn’t you attend such a party for a friend?

Celebrate Who You Are

…and release who you’re not.  Really sometimes, our approach at self-improvement are wistful attempts to carbon-copy someone else.  We can recognize and desire a character quality in another person without trying to be them.  God isn’t interested in clones!  Are you learning new things about yourself?  Define it, acknowledge it — and celebrate who you are.

***

Why not start now?  Write in and share a milestone or celebration — we’d love to shout out with you!

{photo credit}

In a perfect world friendships would not die. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world.

Over the course of my adult life, I have had many friendships; some close, some mere acquaintances, but all were important to me. I can count on one hand the number of friendships that have ended badly.

When I say ended, I don’t mean one of us moves away and we are no longer close. I mean we part ways and are no longer friends. There are three broken friendships in my past that still cause heartache. I’m guessing I am not the only one who has experienced this painful wounding.

Image Credit –  © micromonkey – Fotolia.com

The first was a friendship from 20 years ago. She was older than I, but we were tight. We attended the same church, vacationed together, chatted almost daily and shared meals a few times a week. She knew my secrets and I knew hers. We cried together over boyfriend problems and laughed together over just about anything.

She began to explore New Age practices and thoughts. That bothered me. I prayed about what my response should be. Mind you, I was not living a life that shined for Christ at that time, but the Holy Spirit would not let me be comfortable with the path she was choosing.

I talked to her about the dangers of the road she was walking, but she did not appreciate my concern. Perhaps it came across as condemnation. She cursed at me and told me to mind my own business, then walked out of my life and the friendship was severed. My heart was badly hurt. It would be a long time before I shared myself so deeply with another girlfriend.

More recently, there were two friends who were part of a Bible study group I attend. I was not as close to either of these two ladies as the one 20 years prior, but still there were heart ties. These were godly women who were an important part of my life.

Then something beyond my control came between one of these friends and me. I knew the death of the friendship was inevitable because of the circumstance.  She cut off communication except polite hellos in public. My heart hurt. Her daughter got married recently and I wanted to be there, but did not receive an invitation, which caused my heart further hurt.

The other woman…I still have no idea why the friendship died, which makes it particularly difficult. She stopped participating in Bible study or anything else in which I was involved, including church. I asked her what happened; had I done something to offend her? Her guarded response was, “No. Everything is fine.” That’s it. But I know everything is not fine and my heart aches over the death of this friendship.

So, what do you and I do with the hurt of a fractured friendship?  We run straight to Jesus with it. His Word says in Psalm 56:8 that He collects all our tears, and so I trust He understands my hurt. His Word says He understands the sting of broken relationships for His friends rejected Him, so I trust He understands my pain.

His Word promises that one day all will be made right, so I trust Him to make good on that promise. Until then, I ask Him to either heal these broken friendships or give me the grace to let go and allow Him to heal the wounds that remain.

Fixing my eyes on Jesus and running to Him with my hurt…it’s all I can do. It’s enough. He is more than enough.

Speaker and author Leah Adams is the founder of The Point Ministries. Her passion is for others to understand the grace and second chances offered by Jesus to all who ask. She is a CLASS certified speaker and the author of From the Trash Pile to the Treasure Chest: Creating a Godly Legacy Bible study.

Audiobooks: I believe you’re never to old to listen to a good story.

Before you dismiss this type of book… hear me out. (pun intended) It’s possible you think you might be too busy to listen to a book; I too am a busy lady. But, if you look closely at your schedule, you might find more opportunities to listen than you originally thought:

1. While cleaning house: Granted, I’m obsessed with cleaning, so I probably clean more than any normal human, but this is a great chance to grab the ear-buds and sweep and scrub!
2. Laundry: Folding Mt. Wash-more can be…um… boring… but not when you can hear a chapter or two!
3. Alternative to TV: Instead of flipping channels find out “who- done-it” in a mystery novel.
4. During your kids’ nap or rest time: Do something for you and pick your type book since you might have just finished reading Big Red Barn for the 8th time!
5. Working woman: What about listening on your commute? How about on your lunch break?
6. While exercising: Do you walk or run? …such a great opportunity! You might find yourself taking another lap to resolve the cliffhanger. (I would suggest just one earbud though, no need for an accident!)
7. Make it a family affair: Young Reader classics are enjoyable for kids and adults of all ages. In the evening at home, while on a long road trip or even just a trip to the grocery store, you might find your kids are asking for just one more chapter! If you choose to do this with just your spouse, what about listening to a family, marriage or parenting book?
8. Other hobbies: Do you have another hobby you enjoy? Maybe you scrapbook, knit, sew, or edit photos often, they are perfect opportunities for a story in the background!

You might find something from this list sparked an idea of how you can fit listening into your day and multi-task in the company of a good book!

HOW to listen? iPods, MP3 players, good old cd players, or your computer. Personally, I’ve found Apple devices give you the most options and are very user friendly. They also give you the option to listen at faster speeds. Which is huge for me! I can finish the book in HALF the time and still completely understand everything! (Most audiobook readers read somewhat slow.)

WHERE to find audiobooks? Libraries, librovox.com and friends all have free audiobooks. Christianaudio.com is loaded with good books and even has a free book to download each month. Often, these are recently released books. Audible.com and itunes have audiobooks available for purchase. You can find apps for listening on your smartphone, so you will never be caught without something to listen to!

I encourage you to find one audiobook and just try it out. You might like it more than you thought! Don’t dismiss the possibility of joining or forming a book club because you don’t “read” books… listen to them instead! (Remember your brain is a muscle. It might take some practice to get used to listening to a book. Don’t give up right away.)

Do you listen to books? What ways have you found to fit audiobooks into your schedule? Do you have a favorite audiobook? (These are mine.) 

Yes, I am talking about the Proverbs 31 woman. I mean, didn’t she already have enough with her eager hands, fine linen, her servant girls, and her vineyard earnings? Didn’t her wisdom inform her of the sleep she must be lacking? Or how she is making us all look bad?

It isn’t her fault girls. It’s ours.

She isn’t all that and a bag of chips but we’ve made her out to be that way.

She is a woman after God’s own heart. A servant to Him, the most high. Only a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised (Proverbs 31:30). She is who she is because she gives her all to Him. These “works of her hands” are the result of a deep relationship with her Father and Savior. It is not the other way around.

It took me years to discover that I had this lady all wrong. I hadn’t truly studied and sought God for revelation regarding these verses. I had taken for granted what I had read in other books or been taught in Sunday school. It just didn’t add up but girls, it is right there in the bible. He does tell us what these verses are for and how to use them.

Would you like to know how?

Would like like to read a fresh perspective on the Proverbs 31 woman?

We are giving away 7 copies of Pursuit of Proverbs 31 by Amy Bayliss.

Enter to win

In order to win you need only comment letting us know your deepest concerns when it comes to these verses of scripture. Winners will be chosen randomly and if a winner has already purchased the book they will have the choice of getting a refund or gifting the book to a friend.

image via alcomm | flickr creative commons

Friends, I’d like to ask you a question today: Why do you blog?

Not “why do people in general blog” or “why do you think you should blog”, but why do YOU, really?

Each of us started with something in mind when we first took that deep breath and nervously hit ‘publish‘. Was it merely a way to share photos of baby’s adorable toothless grin with faraway relatives? A love of words and stories that needed an outlet? The need to earn extra income to support your family? A desire to connect with others?

Whatever your reason, you made the commitment to put yourself out there, and that’s no small accomplishment. But somewhere along the way, it’s easy to get caught up in the game….

For the rest of this post head over to the Allume blog and join me as we discuss why we blog.

Mother’s are getting ready to celebrate Mother’s Day this Sunday.  Being a mother is one of the toughest jobs around.  We have such a blessing beyond anything imaginable.  God saw fit to give us children to raise, to be in the Christian army.  This is no small task, and in fact, it is one of the greatest of all tasks, in my own opinion.  And I’m not biased. 

I often feel helpless, when my children are sick, or when they are hurt beyond what I can control.  But that helplessness does not stay for long, because I realize whom it is that I serve and who it is that I pray to continuously over my family.

As my children grow, I realize just how helpless we are in our own accord.  We raise them then set them free into the world and we only hope they have learned all they need to know.  I often feel guilty that I did not do all I could, or that I did it wrong.  I have to remember, we are all human, we all fall short.  But Praise God, Jesus redeemed us from all the curses, so if we fall short, His grace is sufficient to cover it.

I stand on the Bible verse Proverbs 22:6 which says to Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.  I take it seriously to make sure my children are raised in church, are taught who they are in Christ.  I make sure they know the only way to salvation is to confess that Jesus Christ is their Lord and Savior.

From the moment I knew they were in my womb, I began to pray over them.  I also pray over their future spouses, that they are having good childhoods that they know who our Lord and Savior is.  Prayer is one thing I can do without ceasing, and I do not even start a day without covering my family in it first.

When my first-born son was a baby, he had a high fever, it was on a holiday, and the doctor’s offices were closed.  The closest hospital was an hour away, and we did not have enough gas or money to get him to one.  So I gathered him in my arms and started pacing back and forth in his room.  I closed my eyes, held up my hand towards Heaven, and prayed over him.  “By Jesus stripes, you are healed Tad” After a little while I sat down with him, continued holding him, and a peace washed over me.  I started singing praise songs, and crying and by the time I was done, his fever broke.  I realized then the power of prayer from firsthand experience.  Where I was weak, He was strong, He carried us.  He carries my children!  What a thought!

Never feel helpless as a mother if you call Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior.  You have the most powerful thing at your disposal, prayer, and a God that hears, answers, and is with you.  When you pray this power over your child, you need to know that our Lord and Savior watch over them as well.  This is the confident assurance that what we believe yet cannot see is there and working.

You know how much you love your child.  Well God loves them even more than we do.  This is a hard concept to grasp, because I love my children with everything I have, but I know the God I serve cares for and love them more than I ever could.

Unleash that power over your child; lift them up in prayer, daily.  It is the best thing you can do for them!

This Mother’s Day we will be surrounded by flowers, cards and candy, and the honoring of Mothers everywhere. Church goings, handmade cards and burnt toast breakfasts. It can be so glorious and grand can’t it? But, what happens when Mother’s Day is hard and raw and mixed with grief or sadness?

Not every Mother’s Day is a happy occasion filled with pampering and kind gestures is it? I too have been in that place, and my heart goes out to you.

May I tell you my story?

• I have been the single mom who longed for someone to remind my little guy that it was Mother’s Day and just help him pick out a card and sign his name.
• I have been the one wishing, hoping and praying for pregnancy, and motherhood that seemed like it would never come.
• I have been the one who was resentful of others who could get pregnant with ease.
• I have been the one lying on that cold, hard medical bed, struggling to hear a heartbeat that was gone, and experiencing the secret pain of miscarriage.
• I have been the one who heard the stinging words, “I’m sorry to tell you your baby girl will not live through birth, but you must deliver her now.”
• I have been the one to see my husband trying to hang onto the faint memory of a mother that was gone too soon in his life.
• I have been the one who felt the sting of adoption failures, and wondering how in the world I would ever have another child.
• I have been the one to hear the words “you probably will not have any more children”.

Maybe you are one of those women

Or…

Maybe you are one who is waiting, and praying for you own child in a far off country.

There is hope

Maybe you are the one who is fostering children who need you to be the Mother they never had.

You are gifted.

Maybe you are the one struggling through infertility and want more than anything to be a mother.

There is a future for you.

Maybe you are one who had to give up a child through tough circumstances.

There is forgiveness

Maybe you are one who knows you will never be a mother at all and are trying to find a place to fit in.

There is a place for you.

Maybe you are the one who lost your Mother and miss her this week.

May you find comfort.

Maybe you are struggling to find a way to honor your Mother who doesn’t deserve that place.

May you find peace and grace.

Maybe you are the one who has lost a child too soon.

May you find joy to fill the void.

Maybe you are one who is a Mother to many.

You are special.

Maybe you are one who is spending Mother’s Day in a hospital or care-giving a special needs child and you are worn out.

May you find strength.

Maybe you are one who is grateful just to be alive on Mother’s Day.

You have a new perspective.

Today I reach out a hand to you my sisters, and for all women out there who find Mother’s Day to bring on a flood of emotions and feelings. It’s okay and it’s normal, and you are loved by an Almighty God no matter your circumstances.

The good news of my story…

• This week I will have a happy Mother’s Day, because God has showered me with grace and three healthy boys who fill my life with so much joy. They are a daily reminder of redemption in front of me.
• This week I have a loving husband who helps my boys sign their name on the card!
• This week I have a beautiful Godly mother still with me, who has many reasons to be honored.
• This week I miss my Grandma who was still with us this time last year, but I can rejoice in the legacy she left behind.
• This week I am living proof of a God who restores that which was lost, and I share my story so that you too can hang on to hope. 

God’s word says…

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.” Joel 2:25

My prayer is that you will find a reason to enjoy this Mother’s Day in the midst–wherever you are.  May you realize that you have influence and potential and nothing you do is wasted-not one single thing.

Whether you are a Mother by birth or by other means, we need your Mother heart and it is beautiful!

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

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