I wrote this as the intro to a short story (serial fiction) a little over a year ago. There were a lot of positive comments and many requests to finish the story. Maybe even turn it into a book. I wasn’t sure, until lately, where this story wanted to go. I have been thinking, and praying, a lot over the past month or so, about this little story. Trying to figure out how to do it  justice. Because the people in this story, fictional though they may be, are real to me and I want to honor them … and the readers who care about them. I would love to have a bit of feedback from you about the direction that I think this tale is going to go … but first … a reminder … this is Allie …

*****

It wasn’t the first time that anger had woken Allie. She heard the slamming doors, the loud voices, and she slipped out of her bed, grabbed her blanket and her doll, and tiptoed to her closet. Closing the door behind her, she wedged her way deep into the closet, behind clothes and toys, into her safe place. There was an empty spot, just her size, in the back, for she had slept here often. She wrapped herself into her blanket, whispered quiet assurances to her doll, and fell back asleep.

Mercifully, Allie slept as the anger escalated. She didn’t hear the shots. Didn’t see the red and blue lights flashing in the night. Didn’t hear the old woman next door screaming at the police to look for the child. She slept peacefully unaware as police swarmed through the house trying to find her. She didn’t wake until a bright light invaded her safe place followed by a friendly voice, “Hey Allie, we’ve been looking for you. Can you come out here?”

She shook her head in a silent negative and tried to shrink deeper into the closet. The light didn’t insist. It asked gently if it could join her in the closet. She considered that for a minute. The voice sounded like it belonged to a nice man. Maybe if she let him in he could help keep her safe. She beckoned him in and told him he had to be very quiet.

He moved a few toys out of the way and settled onto the closet floor beside her. His flashlight was pointing the other way now and she could see bottom parts of the clothing hanging in her closet and bits and pieces of brightly colored toys. She whispered to him to turn the light off so they couldn’t be found as she snuggled closer to his scratchy shirt.

He told her that it was safe now. No one was going to hurt her and she needed to come out of the closet. She whispered, “no,” and fell back to sleep. She was still sleeping when he moved some things out of the closet so he could reach her better, gently picked her up, and cradled her against his chest. She slept as he brushed her tangled hair away from her tear-stained face. She didn’t wake when he cringed as he caught sight of her bruised cheek and black eye. She didn’t hear him say, “I’m so sorry little one.”

Allie startled awake as he buckled her into a car seat. Tears started fresh she saw the waves of colored light sweeping across the front of her house. She fought against the belts holding her in the seat but the man, that she now knew was a policeman, held her firmly in place and told her to sit still.

Allie was afraid.

*****

What I am thinking about doing is starting the story here, with Allie in the closet, but then go back in time, 5 or 6 years, to when her mother discovers that she is pregnant. Allie’s mother, Jennifer,  is a sweet girl, with dreams of happiness and family, who has been brought up primarily in foster care. She is now 18, aged out of the system, and on her own. Allie’s father, Billy,  is a deployed soldier. This will contrast with another young couple (you may remember them as Brad and Lanie) starting life together, with lots of family support, and similar dreams of happiness and family. The story will kind of hop back and forth between the 2 couples, sharing their lives and stories, as it winds it’s way to the night that Brad, a police officer, meets Allie in the closet. 

Okay … that’s a really rough description but I don’t want to tell you the whole story! =) It will not all be happy. Life is some times hard and unfair! Some times because of our own bad choices and some times because of the actions of others. What I want to know is … does this sound too confusing? Does it pique your interest? Is contrasting the 2 couples too harsh? I truly look forward to hearing your ideas and opinions so let ‘em roll!

Fiction – Afraid is a post written by Beth Zimmerman . Please consider visiting the post, on Masterpiece - created to love people and bring glory to God, to leave a comment and find similar content. I'd love to connect with you on my Facebook Profile, Facebook Page, or Twitter Thanks! Beth

The last night of the Relevant Conference (Allume 2011) we were treated to a concert with Shaun Groves. Some thing that he said has been one of the thoughts that were BIG take-aways for me. He was talking about the children of Israel wandering in the desert for 40 years. God gave them manna (which being a good Southern boy … he assured us meant chicken and biscuits) to eat but told them exactly how much to gather each day. Do you know the story? He commanded them to get a specific amount each day so that everyone would have not too much, not too little, just enough!

Then there came a day when some hard headed Israelite woke up early and, finding no one watching him, he gathered some extra manna. Just in case God ever stopped being good and sending it every day! So he saved his extra manna against that potential rainy day, and God, seeing his lack of trust, turned the manna into a stinky maggoty mess!

There are some situations in my life that are a stinky, maggoty mess! And I look back and wonder if part of the reason for that is that I didn’t trust God to be enough. I didn’t trust Him to keep being good. There is this little girl inside of me who keeps expecting Him to turn angry and withhold His favor from me. I understand why those Israelites tried to hold onto some for tomorrow. They had their hands on it today. Tomorrow … they might not! What this story teaches me is that this attitude is sin! I am not supposed to worry about tomorrow AT ALL! I am supposed to trust God that He will be good, He will provide, He is enough!

This post was originally published on one of my other blogs. I am working on moving some of the content from there to here.

Enough is a post written by Beth Zimmerman . Please consider visiting the post, on Masterpiece - created to love people and bring glory to God, to leave a comment and find similar content. I'd love to connect with you on my Facebook Profile, Facebook Page, or Twitter Thanks! Beth

Checking in really quickly to let y’all know what is up in my life (and why I won’t write much this week). Monday evening my husband was not feeling well and headed to bed at about 7:00. Approximately 30 minutes later he came to the living room extremely agitated and unable to communicate. I realized almost immediately that he was having a stroke. I had trouble finding a phone because I was shaking and scared and struggling to calm both of us and get help. Within moments I was on the phone with 911, trying to help him put on some pants, and trying to ask the stroke questions that dispatch is taught to ask. Unfortunately his stroke was atypical. He was unable to talk beyond guttural sounds … although I did decipher a couple of “swear words” in there … and rather than one side being “frozen,” he had one side (right) that he was unable to hold still. He was swinging his arm wildly and having trouble sitting still. 

We live within a block of a fire station so the FD was here within minutes. I ran to the door yelling “Stay” at Bert while I went to rescue the firemen from our German Shepherd. I think she was confused because she has 2 strange habits … one is howling in empathy with every siren that goes by and the other is a desire to protect her territory and people from anyone in uniform! Now the firetruck was parked right outside our gate and she wasn’t sure whether to attack or howl! I had to call her a couple of times but she came in and I blocked her in Josiah’s bedroom.

The firemen came in, followed by the ambulance crew, and they did some preliminary tests and asked a bunch of questions. I told them which hospital we use and they carried Bert out of the house. The ambulance driver came back to the door and told me that this was obviously a stroke and he thought they should go to a different (closer) hospital. I told him to do it!

After they drove away I let the dog out of captivity, packed a few essentials, made a few emergency phone calls, and headed out to drive to the hospital. As soon as I got on the highway I began to experience a panic attack. I don’t think it’s a good idea to be on the phone while driving and I rarely do it but in that moment I needed someone to talk me through it. I called my friend, Alycia, and she talked me through it and prayed for me. I made it to the hospital safely. Shortly after I got there I was allowed to go back to see Bert. The doctor came in soon and told us that although the symptoms were already turning around he thought this was definitely a stroke and bad enough that he wanted to call a neurologist for a second opinion but he wanted us to consider the TPA injection. (tPA, the Gold Standard -The only FDA approved treatment for ischemic strokes is tissue plasminogen activator (tPA, also known as IV rtPA, given through an IV in the arm). tPA works by dissolving the clot and improving blood flow to the part of the brain being deprived of blood flow. If administered within 3 hours(and up to 4.5 hours in certain eligible patients), tPA may improve the chances of recovering from a stroke. A significant number of stroke victims don’t get to the hospital in time for tPA treatment; this is why it’s so important to identify a stroke immediately.) There ARE risks so he didn’t want us to make the decision lightly but we did have to decide quickly. The neurologist agreed that Bert should have the tPA treatment so we said yes and I was given another stack of papers to sign!

The results were almost immediate and dramatic! Stroke symptoms were almost all resolved within the next several hours. He is still in the hospital recovering. We are exhausted but so grateful that this wasn’t worse! God is good! More later. 

What are the symptoms of a stroke?

Atypical Stroke is a post written by Beth Zimmerman . Please consider visiting the post, on Masterpiece - created to love people and bring glory to God, to leave a comment and find similar content. I'd love to connect with you on my Facebook Profile, Facebook Page, or Twitter Thanks! Beth

I have decided that I’m going to venture into doing more home cooking. If I’m going to go ahead and cook … I might as well share those recipes with you, right? For my first venture into creative cooking, and recipe sharing, I’m taking advantage of an assignment from Collective Bias to find a meal solution that uses Tyson Toppings Diced Pepperoni. Since I’m working on getting my family back on the Low Carb Wagon … I decided to create a Low Carb Pepperoni Pasta Salad! Hubby has already been into the fridge to try it out and he says it’s yummy! I haven’t had any yet because this is one of those recipes where it gets tastier as the flavors have time to mix and meld. 

#ad Need a Low Carb Meal Soultion? Try this Pepperoni Pasta Salad via @BethZimmerman and @TysonFoods. This is a salad that is chock full of Mediterranean flavors and it’s going to  be so delicious on a hot summer night! Besides that it is so easy to make! Feeling a little dubious about the low carb aspects of pasta? I used Dreamfields Pasta which has a net digestible carb count of 5 grams per serving! When you’re a pasta lover, on a low carb diet, it’s a miracle food! But you could easily substitute any pasta to make this recipe better suit your family.

I started this culinary adventure with a trip to the WalMart SuperCenter. You can check out my Google + album here to see photos. (You ought to go take a peek even if it’s just to see the pink flip flop planter!) At WalMart I was able to purchase, not only the Tyson Toppings Diced Pepperoni, but also beautiful fresh produce, low carb pasta, and pretty dishes to make my cooking photos more beautiful!

When I got home from WalMart I washed my new dishes and then organized my cooking supplies. The pasta said to cook for 10 minutes but mine took 12 to reach the pasta perfection. I probably turned the heat too low to prevent a boil over. Once I had cooked, drained, and set the pasta aside to cool … I started chopping!

I don’t buy green olives often but I thought they would be a nice addition to this salad and my husband likes them so I had picked up a jar. As they thunked loudly into my new stainless steel colander, I had my first clue that I had failed to purchase pitted olives! I have no idea how to properly pit an olive. There’s probably a video on YouTube! I just cut the flesh of the olive off as close the pit as I could. It worked since I was going to chop them up anyway. 

Next I got to apply some of my Food Network knowledge. I have learned a great deal of useless trivia through my Food Network addiction. And 2 or 3 bits of actual culinary wisdom. Most of those come from the Worst Cooks in America show! This summer I was watching Anne Burrell teach her team how to chop an onion and my life hasn’t been the same since! Peel the papery skin off the onion. Leave the hairy end intact and cut from the other end part way through the onion both horizontally and vertically. The hairy end will hold all the pieces together while you move on to cutting “slices” off the other end of the onion and the pieces are already diced. Quick. Easy. No tears. You’re welcome!

I diced up my cucumbers. Big dice because I like big chunks of cucumber in my salad. I had planned to purchase grap tomatoes but I couldn’t find any today. I bought cherry tomatoes instead. Used a full pint of them and just cut each one in half. Then I diced my whole milk mozzarella. (I use the whole milk variety because of my low carb diet. You can use a lighter cheese if you really want to!)

At this point I was ready to add the pepperoni. Having it already diced is such a huge convenience! Tyson Toppings Diced Pepperoni is going to make a regular appearance on my shopping list because I’m already envisioning salads, casseroles, omelets, etc. YUM!

Finally, I added a cup of Italian Dressing and then stirred it all together. 

Now if I set this handy new plugin up right you should be able to print a copy of this recipe from here. Enjoy!

Low Carb Pepperoni Pasta Salad

2013-06-08 22:44:42

Serves 8

A delicious low carb pasta salad with Mediterranean flavors. Made with Dreamfields (Low Glycemic Impact) Pasta and Tyson Diced Pepperoni

Write a review

Save Recipe

Print

Prep Time

30 min

Total Time

30 min

Prep Time

30 min

Total Time

30 min

Ingredients

1 Box Dreamfields Penne Rigate (or pasta of your choice)

7 oz. Package Tyson Toppings Diced Pepperoni

Small Jar Pitted Green Olives

1/2 Medium Red Onion - diced

1 Pint Cherry Tomatoes - halved

2 Cucumbers - diced

8 oz. Whole Milk Mozzarella Cheese - diced

8 oz Italian Dressing

Instructions

Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain. Set aside to cool.

Dice olives, onions, cucumbers, and cheese

Cut tomatoes in half

Add chopped ingredients and package of diced pepperoni to bowl of pasta.

Pour Italian Dressing over pasta and other ingredients. Stir to combine.

Let set several hours, or overnight, for flavors to combine.

The (13.25 oz.) box of pasta was supposed to make 6.5 servings. By the time I added all of the ingredients this made a huge batch of pasta salad. I filled two 2 quart storage bowls. Approximately eight 2 cup servings! I calculated the nutrition per serving as follows

Calories: 478

Fat: 28 grams

Protein: 17.4 grams

Net Digestible Carbs: 13.4 grams

By Beth Zimmerman

Masterpiece http://www.masterpiece-beth.com/

Need a Low Carb Meal Solution … Try This Pepperoni Pasta Salad is a post written by Beth Zimmerman . Please consider visiting the post, on Masterpiece - created to love people and bring glory to God, to leave a comment and find similar content. I'd love to connect with you on my Facebook Profile, Facebook Page, or Twitter Thanks! Beth

Masterpiece comes from Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” (NLT) I have struggled a lot with a negative self image and when I first began blogging my blog name was Beth: A Work in Progress with the tagline becoming a masterpiece. Then at some point I really READ Ephesians 2:10 and realized that God sees me as, and says I am, already a masterpiece! Created by Him for a purpose that only I am designed to fulfill. Who am I to argue with the Almighty!

2. What is your favorite thing about blogging?

Hands down … the people! In this season of my life I consider my blog friends to be my best friends and my family! I just wish we all lived closer to each other!

3. What is one thing you have discovered because of blogging and now can’t live without?

I’m not sure that there is anything that I couldn’t live without! Maybe the companionship, human interaction, and friendships but that’s a repeat of question number 2. I’d say that it is a toss up between Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and an audience for my writing! Actually … let’s be honest! It’s the audience! Comments are addictive!

4. Facebook or Twitter? and why?

We have to choose???? I use both daily but I am much better at interacting on Facebook. Twitter moves so fast and doesn’t allow me enough words!

5. If one celeb read your blog who would you want it to be?

Hmmm … define celebrity. I would love it if one of the “big name bloggers” began to find my writing irresistable. Especially if they would link to me! Jon Acuff, Ree Drummond, Lysa TerKeurst, Ann Voskamp, etc. any and all would be fabulous!

6. What is something you want people to know about your blog?

I would want them to know that I am striving to be real and to love well, that I don’t think I’m anywhere near perfect, and that I truly cherish the times when they come out of hiding and leave me a comment!

The Sunday Social is a post written by Beth Zimmerman . Please consider visiting the post, on Masterpiece - created to love people and bring glory to God, to leave a comment and find similar content. I'd love to connect with you on my Facebook Profile, Facebook Page, or Twitter Thanks! Beth

I think bloggers may be just about the nicest, most supportive community on earth! When I first began my blogging adventures I had tons of questions. Remember those days? And bloggers always seemed delighted to share their wisdom and give me answers! Not just people that I knew well, and followed regularly either! I could pop onto a blog for the very first time and leave a comment asking about a color, an image, a theme, a font, or a plugin and they would willingly share their wisdom with me and usually tell me to feel free to ask again if I had more questions!

I’ve also discovered that one of the blessings of having regular readers is that they will tell you when something isn’t working correctly. I have benefited from these warnings multiple times! My blog was loading really slowly. My comments weren’t working. My feed was messed up. Etc. It’s no fun to be the bearer of bad tidings! I know because I’ve done that for others too and I cringe as I hit send on the email alerting them to a problem on their blogs. But we need to know!

Some times I’m not sure WHO to ask and I have hollered for help, on Facebook, a few times and had someone that I barely, or didn’t, know offer to come fix the problem for me. Last night I was near tears because my SEO plugin wasn’t working right. I asked in the Free Weekly Mastermind Group if anyone was willing and able to come fix it without charging me an arm and a leg! Dan, of Letters from Dan, responded within moments that he could probably fix it for me really quickly. I made him an admin and literally within 15 minutes the problem was solved!  And he didn’t charge me a cent!

Bloggers jumped on board last month as I decided to pursue a crazy goal and triple my Facebook Page Likes in less than a month. They recommended my page to their friends on Facebook. They tweeted recommendations on twitter. They responded in droves to my pleas for more likes. And while I haven’t hit the 500 Goal Mark yet … I’m getting really close!  476 and climbing!

Yesterday I saw this awesome little embedded tweet in a blog post and I asked the blogger, “Hey! How did you do that?” Turns out that when you tweet something like this: “I want to give a Friday High Five to the awesome community out there that makes blogging such a fun and fabulous experience! Thank you!” You can then click on the time the tweet was sent to open up the individual tweet. Now click on more and choose “embed.” And now you can retweet this message from right here in this blog post!

I want to give a Friday High Five to the awesome community out there that makes blogging such a fun and fabulous experience! Thank you!

— Beth Zimmerman (@BethZimmerman) June 7, 2013

Hmmm … that isn’t working right for me. Not sure why. I’ll figure that out later. In the meantime you can try it and see if it works on your blog! =) – FIXED IT!

Bloggers are among my most faithful readers and comment leavers and they are the most encouraging people I know! They have been some of the loudest voices encouraging me to believe that I can, and should, write beyond my blog.

Finally I want to give you a link to a couple of groups that I belong to, on Facebook, that are beyond wonderful about supporting each other and building each other up! If you need a little more love in your blogging … these could be a great place to start!

Free Weekly Mastermind - techy stuff, seo, etc.

Generation Fabulous - lady bloggers on the north side of 40 =)

Better Blogs – Christian women, Support for improving our blogging

Better Writer – Christian women, Support for improving and encouraging our faith based writing

WordPress Support Group – the ins and outs of self-hosted wordpress

Finally … I just want to say thank you! For being you. For being here. And for all the love and support you have poured into my life! You’re awesome!

Bloggers are the BEST is a post written by Beth Zimmerman . Please consider visiting the post, on Masterpiece - created to love people and bring glory to God, to leave a comment and find similar content. I'd love to connect with you on my Facebook Profile, Facebook Page, or Twitter Thanks! Beth

I’m in a quandary. A few months ago, when my position with AAA (through Arise Virtual Solutions) was eliminated, I poked around the internet a little looking for other companies offering work at home opportunities. I applied to be considered for a position with Sykes Home. At the end of the process there was a message telling me that they would contact me. I didn’t hear from them until earlier this week.

Tuesday there was a recorded message on our voice mail. Sykes Home was considering me for a position and if I was interested I needed to log in and schedule an interview. The group interview was today. I will know in 24 – 48 hours if I am approved to move forward in this process.

In a lot of ways I am really excited by this opportunity. It’s an actual job rather than contract labor. There are benefits available … including health insurance … which we desperately need! Regular income without having to go OUT to work.

In some other ways … it scares me. From what I saw in the interview this position would require working nights and weekends. I’m not sure how we can rebuild our marriage if we are on opposite work schedules! I would be working during his time off and vice versa. I know that a lot of families manage that but we are already so fractured. On the other hand … I just don’t know!

I tried to talk to Bert about it and he said to just do whatever I want. He knows that I’m trying to make some money writing. But that is slow and unreliable. We need more income so while he is saying to do what I want … I know he would prefer that I be working! And if I have to work … I want to work from home!

See! It’s a quandary!

I am praying that if this is something I’m supposed to do … the door will open … and if not … that it will close. Please pray with me. I really want to do whatever is best for my marriage, my family, and right now I’m not sure what that is!

Opportunities and Decisions is a post written by Beth Zimmerman . Please consider visiting the post, on Masterpiece - created to love people and bring glory to God, to leave a comment and find similar content. I'd love to connect with you on my Facebook Profile, Facebook Page, or Twitter Thanks! Beth

I wanted to give you a couple of quick updates.

10 people responded to my survey regarding email subscriptions. Not sure I learned anything particularly helpful though I do appreciate those of you who took a moment to answer. 80% subscribe to blogs via email. 70% subscribe to my blog by email. 80% prefer to receive those emails daily or every post. 20% prefer a weekly digest. No one would be more apt to subscribe for an incentive (free ebook, e.g.). And no one had any suggestions for improving (raising more) e-mail subscriptions. I’d still like to figure out a way to get more of you to subscribe via e-mail (even if just as a back up) so that I have access to your contact info for special mailings, etc. but I will worry about that later.

I didn’t make it all the way to 500 likes on my Facebook page but I got much closer than I expected and I owe each of you a debt of gratitude for helping me try! My like count as of today is 456! Would LOVE to pass 500 this month but I’m going back to waiting for it to happen naturally! Thanks so much for all that you did to help me, and encourage me, as I went tilting at windmills!

Did you know WHY Facebook asks the “innocent” question “Do you know this person outside of Facebook?” when you approve a friend request? If someone gets too many of those they are BLOCKED from requesting more friendships! I have been checking “no” willy nilly because I thought it was just a social survey type question! It’s not and I am offended as Facebook, once again, plays the part of Big Brother! (I discovered this from one of my friends … in a neighboring cell in Facebook Jail.) Just say “yes!” =)

I had new business cards made (yes, again) since I am currently focusing on THIS blog and have placed my other one on hiatus. I also made some fun little business card/magnets with my contact info on them. Want one? Send me your mailing address and I’ll be delighted to send one your way.

I am working on a media kit for my blog, and will make some minor changes to my about page, and would like to include a few “testimonials” from people who read and enjoy my writing. What I need is just a sentence or two, maybe a paragraph, defining me, or my writing, from your perspective. I’ll include a link back to your blog (unless you don’t want me to) in any quotes used online. You can share your response in comments or email it to me at beth{at}bethszimmerman{dot}com . Thanks!

Updates is a post written by Beth Zimmerman . Please consider visiting the post, on Masterpiece - created to love people and bring glory to God, to leave a comment and find similar content. I'd love to connect with you on my Facebook Profile, Facebook Page, or Twitter Thanks! Beth

I have struggled lately with my decisions.

Am I staying because it’s the right thing to do? Or am I staying because I’m afraid to leave?

Is it wise to choose to believe someone who has lied to me repeatedly or is that just plain stupid? That question is especially loud when I’m wondering if the words he is telling me now are truth … or another lie. I have no desire to be a doormat. I don’t want to be naive, taken advantage of, and emotionally abused. I want to stand strong and demand, at the very least, respect! But I also want my marriage to survive and it won’t if I doubt everything he says. Trust does not come easily for me. So to have it violated, over and over, makes this nearly impossible.

I had a couple of days here lately when I felt very strongly that I was being lied to. I probed a little and then I backed off. I don’t know how to do this! There is little to no evidence to prove my suspicions and so I bury them in my heart and cry when I’m alone. “I want to believe you … but I can’t!”

Into that mindset this week marched post, after post, from bloggers, in all walks of life, whom I love and respect, saying, “You know that thing you’re clinging to so tightly? Maybe God is telling you to let go …” And I would read, with tears running down my face, and wonder … what am I supposed to do?

A few months ago my pastor shared with me this passage of scripture:

1 Corinthians 7:12-15
New Living Translation (NLT)
12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a Christian man has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 13 And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. 14 For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. 15 (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.)

At the time I didn’t really see how it applied. My husband is a believer, a Christian. Pastor Ascol told me that because, at the moment, my husband is in a state of rebellion against God’s will for his life, he can be, for this purpose, defined as an unbeliever. It hurts my heart to think that way but I understand it. He hasn’t lost his salvation. If he dies today … he will be in Heaven. But for now he is choosing to live outside the will of God.

In December, 2 days before Christmas, my husband “insisted on leaving.” I didn’t let him go. (see vs. 15) I panicked and I didn’t handle the situation well at all. He came back. Not because his heart had changed but because he was sincerely afraid that I might harm myself if he didn’t.

In late April things happened that sent me into turmoil again. He and I went to a counseling session with our pastor. I went with a written statement because I didn’t trust my ability to think clearly in that moment. I told him that I love him and I forgive him and I want our marriage to survive but … I had a couple of conditions. If he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, meet those conditions, I would allow him to choose to leave even though it would break my heart! He refused to comply and I said, and meant, that I would leave. Except  … I haven’t.

There are so many reasons to go. And so many more to stay. And I am confused and broken and scared and wondering … what in the world is the right thing to do!

Last night I tucked my iPod under my pillow, to read a portion of Scripture to me as I waited for sleep. This has been my habit for over a year now and I’m almost done with my second time through the Bible. I knew I was in 1 Corinthians but wasn’t sure exactly where until these words reached out and grabbed me: “if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him.” (vs 13) It felt like confirmation that for now at least … this is right!

I am continuing to wait on the Lord to work! To do miracles. To restore our love. He might have other plans. I don’t know. If my husband chooses to leave, it will break my heart, but … I will let him go! In the meantime … I will wait!

Waiting is a post written by Beth Zimmerman . Please consider visiting the post, on Masterpiece - created to love people and bring glory to God, to leave a comment and find similar content. I'd love to connect with you on my Facebook Profile, Facebook Page, or Twitter Thanks! Beth

I haven’t fragmented in a while. Seems like a good idea tonight.

We (Bert & I) are planning to drive to Priddy, Texas on Saturday, and back on Sunday or Monday, to attend a family reunion. It’s about an 8 hour drive. Long way to go for pot luck! =) Think I might make some homemade yeast rolls tomorrow for our meal contribution. Those little old German ladies can COOK and I’m not even going to try to compete in the desert category!

Random Factoid: I have never been to a reunion for my family (not sure we even have them) or my school. The family I would love to see once in a while. The school folks? Not so much! Some things are better left in the past!

My sister, and her family, live in Stephenville, Texas, which is within an hour or so of Priddy so we are spending the night with them Saturday and perhaps Sunday. They give new definition to busy so we will barely see them while we’re there!

Random Factoid #2: My sister makes better yeast rolls than I do and if she wasn’t so busy … I’d probably bribe her to make them for me!

Random Factoid #3: Bert has an aunt who lives IN Priddy but we can’t stay with her because her house is surrounded by Mesquite Trees to which I am very allergic!

I have NEVER liked CAPTCHA and I discovered a new reason to despise it today. Josiah is somewhat dyslexic and had to fill in a CAPTCHA code for a website. Never even considered how hard that would be until I heard him growling at his computer!

I set a CRAZY goal to have 500 Likes on My Facebook Page, Masterpiece, by June 1. At the time I set that goal (late April or early May) I had under 200 Likes and was out of Facebook Jail! I now have 437 Likes in spite of my unfortunate repeat incarceration! I am dubious about making it to 500 by tomorrow at midnight but I am beyond thrilled by the growth that I have experienced and the number of people who joined me as I went tilting at this particular windmill!

Random Factoid #4: Those who tell you that there is no such thing as Facebook Jail … LIE!

Random Factoid #4a: Facebook considers pasting the same basic message on several pages in a row to be SPAM. They will give you one warning. If you do not cease and desist they will limit your posting freedom for 14 days. When you are released you will be on parole. If you are a repeat offender you will be placed in jail for 60 days with no warning! I don’t think I will test them any further!

This was taken tonight about 10 miles from my house. Some people (those who go outside and shoot video instead of huddling in basements) never learn!

Random Factoid #5: There are not many basements in Oklahoma!

Random Factoid #5a:  This photo was created by Photoshop. Not an Oklahoma storm.

Random Factoid #5b: Quote from the weather service: “We have the potential for significant weather again tomorrow afternoon and evening. It is the first high risk weather day in the area this year. We will keep you advised as the weather develops.” If the storm from last week (Oklahoma City area) was not significant … I want to move! Tonight!

I am struggling some days lately with figuring out WHAT to share here on my blog and what I need to not talk about. If it was just me, my story, my reputation, I would let it all hang loose! Bet you knew that, didn’t you! But none of us live in a vacuum and we have to consider the needs and rights of others!

I did get some REALLY good news today! I received my first assignment with Collective Bias. One day next month I will share more of that with you. For now I will just tell you that I am really excited to be one of the Social Fabric bloggers and I can’t wait to get started.

Okay … one more little (or not so little) thing: I am going to the Declare Conference in Dallas in August. It’s a blog conference for Christian women. There will be a literary agent there! I am planning to work on Allie’s Story (working title) between now and then so that I can share it with the agent and see what s/he thinks! Pray for me!

Love you guys!

Friday Fragments ~ 5-31-13 is a post written by Beth Zimmerman . Please consider visiting the post, on Masterpiece - created to love people and bring glory to God, to leave a comment and find similar content. I'd love to connect with you on my Facebook Profile, Facebook Page, or Twitter Thanks! Beth