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Had a chance to see the new Superman movie Man of Steel and it was awesome, I really enjoyed it! If the word “epic” has lost its meaning in the throes of recent summers, Man of Steel redefines it. I loved the original superman movies and still do, but this reboot by Zack Snyder (Director of 300) left me wanting more. I haven’t seen a good Superman move since the Christopher Reeves series.

But with all the recent superhero movies, I walked out with some deeper questions.

Is Superman relevant today?

Why is the demand for superhero movies on the rise?

Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Ironman and the list goes on. For me personally, Superman has always trumped the rest of them as I am a big Superman fan. Of course the Superman comic book hero is not real but he can inspire us; and that fact alone may be the secret of his years of success.

Ok, back to the questions. It seems that all superhero movies have a very consistent theme, do you know what it is?

These guys are fatherless!!!

These superheroes were raised by someone other than their original parents. Superman was raised by adoptive parents, only to have his human father die in his arms. Spiderman was raised by his Aunt and Uncle, only to watch his Uncle die in his arms. Batman was raised by his butler Alfred, etc. Perhaps deep inside they are all hoping to still hear those words that all men want to hear from the dads, “I’m proud of you, son.”

What if I told you that there is a “Superman” in real life. What if I told you he’s called a Dad.

Not just any dad. I am talking about a dad who hopefully stays married to his wife (I blew this one) and raises his children to follow God and to be responsible – a dad who is a Godly role model and leader in the home. Not sure about you, but to me, that is a Superman.

There was a time in the American story where that description was the norm. But in our current upside-down culture, fathers are MIA. We are in danger of becoming a fatherless society and I believe that this is the cause of many of the social ills in this country today.

In the 1960′s, less than 6 million children lived in single-parent families. Today, that number is 22 million and spiraling out of control.

Lets take a look at the landscape (and this is a short list):

• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes – 5 times the average. [US Dept. Of Health/Census]
• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
• 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. [Center for Disease Control]
• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]
• 43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]
• 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]
• 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]
• 75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows f for all God’s Children]
• 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father. [US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988]
• 85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]

Lois Lane: What’s the S stand for?
Superman: It’s not an S. On my world it means hope.

Being a Dad, brings hope. Lets face it, Dad’s who are leaders in the home, fully present and engaged in the lives of their families are the real superheroes!

All you dad’s out there…are you reflecting Jesus to your kids? Are you willing to stand up for them? Are you willing to give it all for your family?

Now is the time to man up, because our kids need us more than ever. Our kids need a man of God in their lives, a role model, a mentor, someone to say “I’m proud of you”, someone to have their back, someone to fight for their hearts, someone to affirm them and someone to show them the love of Christ. Not just anyone…they need their dad!

I almost blew it, but God gave me another chance. So whats it gonna be?

Men, are you ready to man up and be a superhero at home?

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

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Father’s Day is upon us men, once again, but I want to challenge you with a question. Is this day about us or our kids and family? Hold that thought for a bit.

As we unpack this, let’s start with this from Patrick Morley of Man in the Mirror:

The late Tom Skinner, a sought after speaker, once said that he received a call one day from a friend who wanted him to speak at an event one week away. Usually such events get scheduled months in advance.

Tom looked at his calendar and said, “I’m sorry, I have an appointment with my daughter on that day.”

“Oh,” his friend came back, “Then you could be available on that day. We really need you, Tom. We’re depending on you. Will you do it?”

“I don’t think you understand,” Tom replied. “I have an appointment with my daughter that day and I can’t break it.”

After two or three more attempts from different angles his friend gave up. What was particularly interesting is that they wanted Tom because the speaker they really wanted had to cancel at the last minute. So, his friend was all too prepared to sacrifice Tom’s relationship with his daughter on the altar of his urgent need.

Have you seen the movie Elf? Remember the scene when Walter, Buddy and Michael’s dad had to give a major presentation to the executives of his company?

Mr Greenway, the “big boss” comes in and frames up the meeting like this, “As you know, we need a big launch, fast. To get this company back on track. So, I think I speak for my fellow board members when I say…This better be good!”

As Walter begins his presentation to the “big boss”, in comes his son in a panic and shares that Buddy has left. Here is how the scene went. This was his moment to chose to be a dad or a corporate man. Lets see how it turns out.

WALTER: Okay, listen. Let me finish this meeting and we’ll figure this out. Okay?
MICHAEL: Finish your meeting?! How’d I know you were going to say that?
WALTER: Michael! Wait! (Michael stops in his tracks, giving his dad a chance. Hopeful.)
WALTER: Mr. Greenway, we have to reschedule this.
GREENWAY: We don’t have time to reschedule! I want to hear the damn thing NOW! Son, this has to wait.
WALTER: No it doesn’t. We’ll do this some other time, Mr. Greenway.
GREENWAY: This isn’t happening. You’re going to sit in that chair and pitch me a hit friggin’ book! NOW!
WALTER: Mr. Greenway, with all due respect, KISS MY @#@!

This is not the only movie where this scene pops up. Have you ever scene Family Man with Nicolas Cage? I share this because unfortunately this narrative has a sad story and dads all over the world are putting their careers in front of their family. I did this for years until a divorce woke me up out of my stupor.

An BHR blog post, ‘Why Men Work So Much’ concludes, It’s not productivity. It’s not innovation. It’s identity. If you’ve lived a life where holidays are a nuisance, where you’ve missed your favorite uncle’s funeral and your children’s childhoods, in a culture that conflates manly heroism with long hours, it’s going to take more than a few regressions to convince you it wasn’t really necessary, after all, for your work to devour you.

Dad’s, as you celebrate Father’s Day, pause and take an inventory of your life. Are you fully present for your family/kids, or are you too wrapped up in your career, hobby, friends, fill in the blank_____? Are you actively living out a Godly example for them…and would God agree?

Our actions and our words have an incredible impact on our kids! Are you your son’s first hero? Are you your daughter’s first love? Are you being a student of your wife?

The world shouts at us men through a megaphone that we find our identity in our careers and our stuff. This is a lie! Men, we need a new identity…it’s called being a dad. Lets step it up and be Dad’s!

Further reading: ‘My Dad’, ‘Integrity’, ‘Daddy, Carry Me’

It’s not how many years that are left in your life but how much life that is left in your years that matters!

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My alarm clock this morning was a gentle breeze accompanied by the nature’s music of the birds singing right outside my window. It was just one of those mornings where you say, “Yeah, life is good!” The weather is beautiful, I had the day planned out and today was my son’s first rounds of SAT’s.

We jumped in the car and headed over to Dunkin’ Donuts to fuel up on a couple iced teas and breakfast sandwiches before heading over to the school. We arrived a few minutes early so my son could get settled. I waited a bit just to make sure and off I went to get an oil change.

About 30 minutes went by and my phone rang…it was my son and he was pretty upset. After I calmed him down, I learned that he was not allowed to take the test because his SAT pass had a picture of him with a hat on. My initial response was, “WHAT?!?!?”

I headed back to the school to deal with this situation and my anger increased with every mile I drove. I was really angry and when I arrived into the parking lot I reached DEFCON 1 on the angry scale. I was ready to walk in there and give them a piece of my mind.

Ready! Fire! Aim!

“In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.. -Ephesians 4:26, 27

But for God…

Before I opened my car door I get this nudge from Him about the condition of my heart in this moment. I paused, bowed my head and started to talk to Him about this situation and His peace started to scatter my anger. I asked Him for wisdom, discernment and to change the condition of my heart before I walked in.
Sure there is such a thing a righteous anger, but let’s face it…most of our anger isn’t righteous. Most of our anger is self-righteous and a direct barometer of the condition of our heart.

Meeting my son at the entrance, we proceeded into the school. My son did not want to go back in, but I was in a much better place and simply wanted to get to the bottom of this.

After a few minutes we found the person responsible for this decision and approached him to understand what happened. Because I approached him with a level head and explained the situation, he had a change of heart and decided to let my son take the test. He even went on to say how much he appreciated that I didn’t get up in his grill and tear his head off.

Our speech must always contain grace. Unless people put away anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive speech from their mouth, they cannot represent God’s essential goodness. -Colossians 3:8

I don’t know about you, but I am learning that the outcome is so much better when we go to God first with our situation. Most of the time when we take control, “ready, fire, aim” the situation escalates and we run to God to bail us out.

Sound familiar?

When we bring our situation to God first, we make way for Him to work on our behalf to orchestrate the best outcome. When we give it God first, He enables us to hit the mark. In this case, having my son take his SAT’s.

I don’t always get this right and neither do you, but I’m learning that it’s so much easier to hit the mark when we pause and see the situation from God’s perspective. Ready. Aim. Fire!

Is your anger in check?

Do you just charge right in to situations like a hot head?