Everyone around me was still cheering for the runners. Everything got a bit surreal at that point as the medical team’s demeanor changed. They were being lax about us crossing the line along the race course, but no more. One member held up a bag and when he didn’t find its owner there were suddenly men and women in fatigues telling us we had to go. I started walking towards the runners. I didn’t know that they had stopped my friends yet so I kept walking until I knew. Every time I stood still another person in a uniform told me to keep going.

Then the texts started up, my phone started pinging incessantly as I rushed toward home in a daze.

I’ve spent most of the last 15 hours in bed. Absorbing what happened to my beautiful city.

I used the word terrorist yesterday. Not as a point to nationality or skin color, but because my city felt real terror yesterday.

Those at the finish line. They felt terror. Those injured at the bomb sites. They felt terror. My friends felt terror as they were turned from about a block away of another potential bomb. They felt terror. And for moments until I got away from the race path, I felt terror too.

Terrorism isn’t about some dark-skinned person doing something bad to our country. The word has been sadly overused by the media and our government in a fear-fueled cacophony to make us react.

And now, to me, it is a word that speaks about the events yesterday after seeing the fear in everyone’s eyes.

This isn’t to say that we aren’t strong. Someone said yesterday that you picked the wrong city to fuck with because we will fuck you back.

So hear this, terrorist:

We will find you. You already lost. We already beat you. We beat you yesterday when Boston opened their homes to the marathoners and we will beat you with every moment we run and/or cheer next year.

You can’t take our heart, our will to live, our love. Our home. No matter how you try.

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a·dapt·a·bil·i·ty the ability to change (or be changed) to fit changed circumstances

Most of my life I’ve faced one challenge or another.  Nothing special, plenty of people have faced darker roads. A host of them came from making bad choices in the midst of the challenges I faced which lead me not so elegantly to another bad situation. As a result of all the challenges, I learned to adapt quickly and you can too.

Whether you need to adapt because of the decisions you made or because of the decisions someone else made or a situation that nature caused, the first lesson to learn is that change is inevitable.  There is no way to avoid change and the chaos that comes with it.  Don’t try sticking your head in the sand.  It doesn’t work.

You want to quit your job and do something that makes you happy.  But you live in fear.  You’re tired of what you’ve been doing the past decade and want to try something new.  But you stall on asking for the help you need to make it happen.  A competitor came up with that innovative new idea faster than you.  But you dismiss the concerns of your smartest employees pointing out the signs until it’s too late.

Instead of ignoring what’s happening or running around in a panic-induced purple haze with flying invisible pink monkeys, here are three ways you become more adaptable so such things don’t throw you entirely off your game?

• Just make the f—king choice already.  There’s only so much you can debate before you can do before making a choice. Yes, give yourself time to enter the witness state, but then choose a path.
• Don’t waste time asking “Why?”.  Does it really matter?  What happened, happened.  It’s what you do next that shapes the future.
• Do not underestimate kind, loyal, and punch-you-in-the-face-with-the-truth friends to keep you straight. They’ll keep you from making foolhardy decisions out of snap judgement.

The biggest mistake often made when faced with choices that challenge and scare us is to fight with reality. Fighting will only make acceptance harder.  The faster you accept the change the more quickly you can adapt to a new situation.

Don’t make the excuse that you can’t handle what’s happening.  All of the life challenges you’ve experienced up until this moment have conditioned you to be able to handle whatever may come with more grace than you think is possible.

Even though developing adaptability takes much strength, courage and fearlessness, paradoxically, the more adaptable we are, the stronger, more courageous and fearless we will become.And when we learn to adapt we gain the ability to face anything, a warrior’s strength that will allow us to fight off the real villains when they come calling.

This post first appeared on christopherspenn.com

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You’ve freed yourself.

Puncture your ego balloon.

If you’ve just started on your own journey or even if you’ve been on your path for a while, you can probably think of people in your life or things that that keep you centered or otherwise bring you a moment of sanity. Mine include martial arts, meditation, running and talking to my family and friends. And sometimes even a little World of Warcraft goes a long way.

Find people you can count on to tell you that you are wrong.

You will also need people willing to get in your face and tell you when you’re stepping over the line into something that’s unhealthy. If you start walking down the wrong path or paying attention to the wrong things, they will speak up without fear. Family and close, trusted friends are good candidates.

Not gatekeepers but certainly someone who is willing to stand up to you when you’re absolutely wrong. Ideally that person is also someone who will see your point of view and give a little when the situation calls for it. Someone you can give permission to punch you in the face, if necessary. When the shiny overtakes common sense, the last thing you want to do is get lost in your own ego.

Sometimes we stray a little bit, we pick up bad habits, or we simply make bad choices. If we have someone in our lives that is willing to put a foot down and say, “You’re heading down a dark path, brother.”. With a reminder to stay on a path that gives us the rewards we’re looking for eventually but without costs too high to pay.

This post originally appeared on myescapevelocity.com.

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lilamrta aka Lila who is @athenrein on twitter!

I asked C.C. Chapman and my friend, Jason Konopinski to help me choose because I was so torn by all of your entries.

Lila, I’m inspired by your push to take care of things and yourself, despite the way I know that depression pushes back.  I highly recommend that you watch this TEDx Talk by Amber Naslund.

I sincerely hope that the book will help you plan the year ahead and move forward.

Thanks to all of you who took the time to share your goals and your thoughts on how to achieve more in 2013 for yourselves.  I hope that you all reach your goals and come out at the end of the year all the better for it.  Please do let me know if I can help with that.

PS – Sorry I’m late.  Yesterday was a special and quite busy day and I should have dated the decision for today.

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My three words for 2012 were flow, insight and commitment.

This year my three words are momentum, foundation and nourish.

Momentum

Pushing myself to always be in motion to achieve the goals that I have for this year.  Making the most of my time and effort.

Foundation

Creating a firm foundation for in which to explore. Work, financials, taking care of my responsibilities better.

Nourish

Explore, acquire more knowledge, try new things, study more often, write, and run.  Nourishing myself both physically and mentally.

Ready to think about your 3 words?

I think it’s helpful to make sure you have a realistic list of what you want to accomplish in a year, to plan it out before deciding on your three words.  It helps bring focus and clarity to the new year and sets you on a path.  Make sure you write down the list of things you want to do in 2013 somewhere that you can review it weekly, bi-weekly or on something of a regular basis to measure your progress.

Please do enter the contest for Amazing Things Will Happen.  It will help you this year and beyond.

What are your #3Words for 2013?

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I have two copies and I much prefer my Kindle version.  I usually wouldn’t bother giving away the hardcover version but C.C.’s words have helped me immensely in planning for the new year. I think that it will help you as well.

His advice let me see a path to going in the direction that I wanted, that it was okay to ask for help and that sometimes you have to take a leap without waiting for everything to be perfect. There isn’t some magical moment that will make everything sparkle and the oceans part with Jimmy Fallon singing in the background to give you the sign to move forward.  It’s about stop making excuses and making choices.

Want a copy?

So here’s the deal.  I have only one hardcover to giveaway. I want to get it to someone who can greatly benefit from the advice within and will put it into practice in 2013.

All you have to do is tell me in the comments, what is one amazing thing you expect to accomplish in 2013?

That’s it.  I may ask a couple of people to help me to decide and will announce the winner via blog post on January 3rd, 2013.  Cool?

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For those of you who are into this sort of thing, here’s my story. Hopefully if you’re just getting started running or thinking about it these will give you something to consider.

After struggling with a pair of typical running shoes that cut off my circulation no matter how I laced them, I found and fell in love with my Merrell Pace Gloves. They are pretty rough when I want to *walk* long distances in them, while running errands or such.  However, running got easier, I was happier and so were my feet.

Still I like to keep my options open and when Skora Running sent (disclosure: they did not instruct me on what to write, my thoughts are my own) me a pair of their new women’s Base shoe I was so excited to give a different shoe a shot at being my go-to.

Running in the BASE is comfortable, they are light, and have a better connection with the ground than the Pace Glove.  As a bonus, they’re not as strenuous on my calf muscles while walking so I can wear them while running errands and be comfortable at the same time. I even walked 8 miles in these while visiting Montréal!

I’d highly recommend starting with Skora for minimalist training as they are much more comfortable in the beginning.  They seem tailored for just that, but go slow no matter which shoe you choose. They have their risks, if you have concerns, I’d also speak with your doctor before training with minimalist shoes. Remember, each person’s experience will vary.

If you like this post or would love to hear some more about running gear/apps I’ve found useful, please let me know in the comments!

Check out how Skora’s approach to shoes are different:

Disclaimer: Skora sent me a pair of BASE running shoes for review, free of charge. The thoughts in this post are my own and not in any way influenced by Skora or agencies connected with the review opportunity. 

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We all need people whom we exchange our thoughts and give us new things to consider. People we can bounce our thoughts off of in a comfortable, non-judgmental way. When we speak with those folks, there is a sense of respect for each’s experience and beliefs. We consider their way of thinking is a part of who they are, not something we need to change or distort, nor is it something that we should fear.

Growing up with hearing loss, it was difficult to be social. I’d miss the jokes in a group.  I was always a moment too late to puzzle them out or felt it was stupid to ask for the punch line after it’s given. It still happens in loud environments. I spent some time today with a good friend who also has the same hearing issues and it felt wonderful to identify with someone so closely about my experiences. Because I identified with him so well….I felt as if I could hang out with him, relax and enjoy the conversation, etc.

I also found I was much more comfortable contributing my thoughts, my way of thinking about each subject. It should be normal for friends to feel that comfort level together, but for me it takes a bit longer because I wait for that balance between the two of us to occur, to fall on the same level and communicate in an open, honest but relaxed way.

It *is* important to converse with people smarter than you, but it’s just as important to surround yourself with people on the same level of knowledge and/or similar experiences.  You can then both learn and teach and find valuable lessons in each.

Photo by yourdon.

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There are some minor issues with how to activate the publish to timeline features for Open Graph. I didn’t cover those actions.  I cover the installation of the Facebook WordPress plugin and configuring the Facebook app that makes the plugin do it’s magic.

After you’ve watched if you have any questions, feel free to email me at chel at chelpixie dot com.

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Of course my assumption is that I am not alone in this, which is why I’m writing this at all.

You have a someday list of things you want to accomplish.  It may not be written down but perhaps tucked into your subconscious that you pull out to think about when things are slow.

Let’s be honest, there’s never going to be a “perfect time” to take those first steps.

So pull out that list of things that you want to accomplish.  Right now.  Everything else can wait.

Look at that list and determine which of those things you REALLY WANT.  Then make a list of the changes that need to happen on a daily basis to push you toward your goal.  You need that big list but you also need that smaller list that will focus you on the smaller daily/weekly/monthly changes.  (As I write this myself I’m thinking of a daily change of running in the mornings or evenings, that will lead to my larger goal, being healthier.)

That list of smaller changes will affect the daily pieces of your life.  Over time your daily life will change to reflect your goal.  And it must.  Daily change will give away to a new routine which in turn will become the norm.  Imagine now what your life in 6 months will look like when you’re on the path to achieving your goals.  I suspect the day you envision will look differently than the way it does now.

Who you are now has to make way for who you want to become. That means that you can’t do things the same way every day.  You cannot, otherwise nothing will change. Next week, next month, next year you will still be the same person doing the same things.

It’s going to be a struggle to make the changes.  We do not like change therefore we will both fight it.  We’re going to question ourselves, want to give up, procrastinate, make mistakes or SIMPLY NOT WANT TO DO THE WORK.  Each and everyone of those choices is okay, but we will not reach our goal.

Maybe you started off on the right foot in January, but day to day life made an intrusion.  Maybe you never got started because let’s face it, starting is hard, and keeping going is even harder. We have a choice, daily. It’s like a marathon – it’s deliberately cranking out every slow step that gets you over the finish line.  At the end of the next day, week, month, year; I don’t want to be in the same place now.  Do you?

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