Mikveh via Wikimedia

Help wanted: Men to serve on the rabbinic court to supervise immersion of conversion candidates.

Producer Nirit Yaakovs-Yinon, a religious Jewish woman, got interested in the concerns of female conversion candidates after hearing about the job description above from a friend who worked in the Israeli government.

Both male and female converts to Judaism are required to immerse in a mikveh, or ritual bath, as the final step toward becoming a Jew. When women immerse before their weddings and monthly thereafter, another woman supervises to ensure that the woman immersing is completely under the water.

But according to Jewish law, the three members of the male-only court must witness the immersion performed for conversion. It’s not enough for the woman accompanying the candidate to tell the rabbis that the woman has immersed.

Members of a rabbinic court ask the candidate about his or her sincerity regarding Jewish law, just before the immersion.

Yaakovs-Yinon spoke with conversion candidates adopted by her learned that female candidates for conversion enter the water in a flimsy robe. She spoke to converts about their experiences. This eventually led to an exhibit called “Story of a Woman and a Robe, which Ynet reviewed recently. (Hebrew).

Sharon Shapiro, the blogger formerly known as Frumhouse explains in her new blog Kol b’Isha Erva that a similar problem exists for conversion candidates in the United States.

At the same time, the Israeli robe is much more tznius [modest] than the garment that appears to be standard in most orthodox American conversions, which literally is a sheet with a hole in it. The sheet is a large and unwieldy piece of fabric whose purpose is to fan out above the water once the convert dunks under. However, often the sheet sticks to some part of the body or fans out in a lopsided way, thus exposing a view of naked flesh to the rabbis above.

Sharon asked me if I had ever heard of this issue, and indeed I recall a radio talk show on the topic a couple of years ago. It may have been the forerunner to this exhibit. Because Israel encourages immigrants of non-Jewish or questionable Jewish status to convert, with 14 conversion institutes, the difficulties faced by potential converts often make the news.

Sharon’s own conversion was unusual because her birth mother, as well as her adoptive parents, were Jewish. But her birth father wasn’t, and the rabbi she consulted quoted an outlying opinion requiring conversion for the children of a non-Jewish father. He said a conversion would prevent problems in the future.

I highly recommend Sharon’s poignant story: Three Men and a Mikvah Part I and Part II.

More on conversion procedures from the organization Itim.

Photo by Rahel Jaskow

Rabbi Shmuel Rabinovich, the rabbi in charge of the Kotel (Western Wall), said last week that he intends to enlarge the women’s section of the Western Wall.

Photographer Rahel Jaskow documented the poor conditions for women in two photo essays, Separate and Unequal at the Western Wall and Return to the Western Wall, Passover 2013.

Rabbi Rabbinovich brought up the plans at a joint meeting with the committee on internal affairs and the committee on the advancement of women at the Knesset, during a discussion of the Women of the Wall.

“The reality is that the women’s section is narrow and does not manage to contain all of the female worshippers. We are checkout out a solution, and there is a big chance that the women’s section will be enlarged. As for the mehitza (partition)—I agree that it is not respectful that women should stand on chairs to see their sons called up to the Torah [for a bar mitzvah]. Therefore we built a women’s section in the inside prayer hall, at the Kotel Tunnels, with one-way glass, through which women can see everything. We also intend to create a mehitza in the outside plaza so that everyone will be able to see without violating halacha (Jewish law). We have brought in experts who will find a solution, and I hope that within a month there will be a respectable mehitza that does not violate halacha. As for the Women of the Wall I request that at the Wall, they will not change the minhag hamakom (local custom). When you change the local custom, then you get many requests from the other side. The court has issued a ruling. Therefore there is a discussion in the Justice Ministry and the government secretary.

For the one or two readers not following the story: The court ruled that the prayer group known as “Women of the Wall” are not violating the law by their monthly prayer group in the women’s section of the plaza, even if they are wearing prayer shawls and phylacteries traditionally worn only by men during prayer. Hopefully the ruling will put an end to that part of the controversy.

Rahel responds:

To my mind, the issues are related but not identical. Group worship by women in the women’s section is one thing; the space allotted to women at the Western Wall is another.

Has Rabbi Rabinovich been in that balcony space? There’s a cleaning-supply closet right there, and men are allowed inside. Very undignified and disrespectful, in my opinion: the cleaning supplies should be kept elsewhere, and men should not be allowed in the women’s section.

From that enclosed balcony (with one-way glass and curtains), women can listen to bar-mitzva services through earphones. My photo shows the earphone jacks available.

In my opinion, Rabbi Rabinovich isn’t going to do anything new or worth getting excited about. I hope I’m mistaken.

This post was originally published in 2008, but is still relevant for many parents. Sadly two readers who commented here, Helene and RivkA, passed away within the last few years.

It’s bound to happen at one time or another when you are out with your toddler. Your neighbor asks you the question you were wondering yourself earlier that day, as you tried to talk on the phone while your son climbed the bookcase: “Isn’t he bored at home with you all day? How old is he again? [Insert any age here.] Shouldn’t he be in a misgeret?”

In honor of my 4-year-old starting gan in a few weeks (we did have an informal two-child playgroup, technically a misgeret I suppose), I share my answers to the suppositions of nosy and rude advice-givers. They don’t deserve a reply. But at times we must address concerns of family members, or, more likely, we ourselves need the reassurance.

• “The child needs to get used to being in gan for half the day.” Or, “She will be behind academically.” When I mentioned to one mother that our three-year-olds would be in gan together the following year, she asked how I could send her when she hadn’t been in gan at age two. According to this theory, children need a year in a misgeret to prepare for the next misgeret.
• [This one is for late talkers.] “Gan will help him learn to talk.” This is just wrong. Children in gan generally spend little time talking one-on-one to an adult. And the less the child communicates through speech, the less verbal attention he is likely to get from teachers. Children develop speaking skills at vastly different ages and unless you have reason to suspect a problem, it’s safe to let them develop at their own pace. Gan will not make a huge difference either way.
• [For olim] “The child needs to learn Hebrew.” Gan-aged, immigrant children still have plenty of time to become fully bilingual. But language is a balance. If your child spends most of her day in a Hebrew-speaking environment, her English vocabulary will be smaller. And vice versa. You can teach him Hebrew yourself, or make playdates with Hebrew-speaking children, to ease the transition. But immigrants to all countries have survived the experience; emotional maturity is more important than language. [My daughter is concerned about this despite more than adequate Hebrew skills.]
• “He needs to play with children his own age.” I question this assumption “milechat’hilah.” The younger the child, the less equipped to compete with others for the attention of adults. Since making aliyah the age of starting group care has lowered, while time spent in care increased. Children learn social skills mainly from their parents, and they can play with other children while parents are present. If all neighborhood children are in gan, they can meet in the afternoon or on weekends. They don’t need thirty hours a week away from parents to learn cooperative play. Unfortunately, preschool for fewer hours is unheard of in Israel. (Let me qualify that–I heard of a gan run by the city of Tel Aviv where you can leave a child on a drop-off basis.)
• “Immigrant children need to develop a tough, Israeli exterior.” (I mentioned this here.) Okay, but at what cost? I read of a doctoral student who spent months observing three-year-olds in an Israeli gan. She reported of a complex social structure that included children bringing treats to appease bullies. The children’s teachers remained unaware. When put into such an environment children may learn healthy ways of defending themselves. Others become aggressive, or conversely, withdrawn.
• “Aren’t you bored?” Mothers are supposed to be doing adult activities, not playing games all day with their children. (See my next point.)
• “Do you sit with her?” I get this all the time; they are asking whether I use worksheets or teach letters and numbers. (I visited a highly-recommended gan where three-year-olds did worksheets each day.) The short answer is no; I enjoy a loose daily structure. We read, play, color, go to the park, run errands, do chores, and meet other mothers and children. The children who are interested pick up letters, numbers and even reading. They play by themselves a good deal of the time while I do “adult” things. In turn, I expect frequent interruptions.
• “Your child is too shy/aggressive/wild/attached to you/disobedient/spoiled/slow/bossy. It’s because you don’t send him to gan.” Children develop differently and have personality challenges, even the ones who attend gan. Who doesn’t? But if you keep your child home, you will be blamed for those issues.

Over a million American children are being homeschooled for elementary or high school. Surely that puts keeping a two-, three-, or four-year-old at home for another year in perspective.

(I wish I didn’t need to add this caveat: I am not trying to convince parents to keep their kids out of gan, or quit their jobs. I do wish to support parents struggling with this issue.)

Thanks to reader Amanda for the image.

You may also enjoy:

Raising Kids Where Neglect is Normal

What Defines Israeli Parenting?

Should I Send My Child to an English Gan?

Hi Hannah, I had a question in response to your last post about the formula options promoted by the Ministry of Health.  I’m due to give birth to my third child in the next few weeks (in Jerusalem, G-d willing) by elective c-section.

I exclusively breastfed both of my older children for over a year, but I remember from past experience that right after my c-section it was very difficult for me to get up in the middle of the night to go get my baby for breastfeeding, so, feeling left with no alternative, I told the nurses to give the babies one bottle during the night and the rest of the time I would only breastfeed. After a c-section, the nurses are willing to bring the baby into your room for breastfeeding, but refuse to do so during the night. You have to get up yourself.

Since then (my last birth was six years ago) I have become more informed of all the intestinal issues and unbalanced flora in the gut that can start with that first bottle of formula and, this time around, would really like to breastfeed exclusively at the hospital. However, I am concerned that the night feeding will be too much for me to do right after the surgery. My reasoning at the time was that it was a matter of only one bottle a day (for 4-5 days, after which I would only breastfeed upon arriving home) vs. maternal well-being and recovery, as I found it too exhausting after the surgery and really needed my rest. This time, however, I really feel strongly about ensuring a “virgin gut” and would like to avoid any bottles whatsoever, if possible. Then again, am I being too “fanatic” at the expense of my recovery?

A cesarean section is major surgery, and mother’s recovery is important for the whole family. The baby’s health is equally important. Hospitals shouldn’t force mothers to choose between a long trek and exclusive breastfeeding. The hospital policy is the problem, not your desire to be with your baby! In some hospitals, including in Israel, mothers who so choose can have their babies back in their room within a few hours after birth until discharge, including at night.

People like to place their preferred positions in the middle, and label anything that greatly diverges in either direction as “fanatic.” You are simply trying to follow current health recommendations for exclusive breastfeeding.

Once the mother has woken up after surgery, the anesthesia in her system is no longer a concern. Most pain medications are also compatible with breastfeeding. Mothers will vary as to how soon after birth they feel ready to care for their babies and how much help they will need with breastfeeding.

While a few hospitals encourage the baby to be with the mother at all times, including after a c-section, other don’t allow the babies out of the nursery during the night. If a mother has had surgery or has any condition that makes her less mobile, she must find a creative way to be with the baby. Breastfeeding or not, babies belong with their mothers whenever possible.  Here are a few ideas:

1. Get help.  Perhaps you know a neighbor or a relative, even for pay, who would be willing to spend the night, or part of the night, in the hospital with you.  Confirm that the hospital will allow the person to bring the baby to you, with your signed permission.
2. Choose a different hospital. If possible, choose a hospital that allows rooming in after a c-section.
3. Consider pumping for night feeds. Express by hand or with a manual or electric pump, so that the nurses can give your milk to the baby instead of breastmilk substitutes. In the early days, when the amount of colostrum is small, express by hand into a syringe.
   
4. Communicate with the staff. Even before birth,  be assertive about your desire to have a good recovery while continuing to nurse your baby. The hospital might be able to find an orderly to bring you to the nursery in a wheelchair, or have a nurse bring you the baby. It’s also possible that the policy has changed since your last birth.

Readers: If you had a c-section in an Israeli hospital, did you have free access to the baby after birth? If hospital policy made it difficult for you to breastfeed, were you able to get around the policy? The reader is planning to give birth in Shaarei Tzedek hospital in Jerusalem.

You may also enjoy:

Breastfeeding Twins in an Israeli Hospital

Miracles of Motherhood: Breastfeeding a Premature Baby

Breastfeeding a Late Preterm Baby

image: Tova O.

This advice came to mind when I read that  the Israeli health ministry, as stated back in June, will now be requiring maternity wards to offer two competing brands of breastmilk substitutes for newborns. Shoes and powdered milk are very different products, but both are sold using manipulative marketing tactics.

Until now, the companies paid huge sums for exclusive distribution within each hospital. Because mothers stick to the brand they got after birth, smaller companies, who can’t afford the initial outlay, failed to break into the market. This is blamed for the high price of substitutes compared to other countries.

The health ministry claims that “this is a revolution in the marketing of substitutes expected to encourage competition and the interest of the new mother in her preferred breastmilk substitutes and therefore the reduction of prices in the market. The health ministry will check the results of the reform in six months and decide on the required steps.”

Breastmilk substitutes are overpriced, but just because parents insist on buying the hospital’s suggested brand instead of buying a cheaper one (or breastfeeding) doesn’t mean there is a true duopoly (two brands out of four dominate the market). Still, the antitrust authority has decided to target the companies in an attempt to open up the market. Ironically, the drug company Teva’s new brand stands to gain the most. Why the the anti-trust authority need to help Teva, the largest generic drug manufacturer in the world, remains an open question.

All brands contain the required amounts of proteins, fats, vitamins and minerals needed to sustain a baby’s growth. Extras like oligosaccharides or probiotics increase the price,  but do not lead to healthier or smarter babies. Studies have shown that use of breastmilk substitutes increase health risks for both mothers and babies.

The companies, while losing the exclusivity that guaranteed them customers for many months, have thus been granted the opportunity to extol their products to new mothers in the guise of helping her make an “informed” choice. But shouldn’t the health ministry be focusing on encouraging breastfeeding? By encouraging exclusive contracts, whether with one company or two, they are normalizing bottle-feeding in the hospital. The hospital should pay for the bottles of breastmilk substitutes, just like they pay for other supplies.

I’m wondering exactly when the mothers will need to proclaim their choice. You may remember the public uproar at the proposed law suggesting mothers sign a waiver before the hospital gives the baby a bottle, because the form might make mothers feel guilty. No one asks whether parents will feel guilty for signing permission to give a medication or vaccination. Bottles and breastmilk substitutes are an intervention that interferes with normal physiological processes, and parents need to understand the risks. Will mothers now get a form to check off their preferred brand? Or perhaps the limited amount of time with a nurse will be squandered on a pointless discussion about the advantages of the competing brands, instead of learning the baby’s cues or how to know that the baby is getting enough to eat.

According to Calcalist magazine:

An official in the health system expressed concern that the competition between distributors will trickle down into the hospitals, and distributors will use unethical marketing methods to get mothers to choose their brand of breastmilk substitute. “We’ll be playing a game of cops and robbers,” said the official. “It’s a market that generates so much money — the companies will fight using both legitimate methods, and not-so- legitimate methods. The problem is that we are bringing this battle into the delivery rooms.”

The health ministry’s website states that the goal of this  is to encourage new companies to compete in the market. Yet by marketing the plan as a way to lower prices and give mothers a choice, it’s pretending to do a public service. The website fails to mention the NIS 3.5 million it will receive from companies supplying breastmilk substitutes to those hospitals it directly supervises.

Just like the shoe salesperson, the health ministry misleads parents by making false assumptions about choice. But the ministry should not be viewing mothers and their newborn babies as potential customers. They deserve the highest standard of medical care, including the conditions, knowledge and support to enable them to reach a full six months of exclusive breastfeeding as recommended by our ministry and the World Health Organization. This decision is far from revolutionary when it comes to protecting mothers and babies. By focusing on the choice between brands, the health ministry undermines breastfeeding and compromises the health of newborns.

Read more on breastfeeding at A Mother in Israel:

Haredi Public Shortchanged by Formula Freebies

Proposed Law Promotes Breastfeeding in Israeli Hospitals

Breastfeeding Preschoolers: Not Sensational at All (Response to Time Magazine cover)

Why My Maternity Ward Locks Up Infant Formula

The post below also makes use of crowd-sourcing via the Mother in Israel Facebook page. A reader writes:

Hi! I’m wishing to remain anonymous since we have told no one of our aliyah plans yet. I’m wondering if you or your fans would have any advice for making aliyah mid-school year (December 2013), or if it would simply be better to wait it out until next summer (2014). I don’t want our children (ages 8, 5, 4, 2) to have a harder time adjusting than they have to. Thanks!

Rachel M.: I just came this past summer, and I say come in the winter! Putting it off doesn’t help, and in mid year they can get the attention of being the “new kid” the staff is less distracted and can help with services, and the first semester is basically a wash anyway while they adjust. This way by the fall they are good to go. Either way you will do great.

Rachel S: I think it depends on if there is an ulpan within an elementary school in the city you would be moving to. If so, your 8 year old would have understanding peers to make friends with. Might also be a good beginning for your 5 year to have a few months of gan before jumping into kita aleph, which requires a lot of independence here. Behatzlacha!

Kate: I think this is really individual — like Rachel S said, if where you are going has a formal program for olim kids (vs individualized tutoring) that can make a real difference. Where we live there is a kids ulpan nested inside of an elementary school that runs for the entirety of first semester. OTOH, kids from the southern hemisphere who come usually either miss some school there or school here. I’ve heard the entire first year can be a wash, academically, but socially it might depend on your kids. If there are other factors — job offers, selling a house, etc that may also influence your decision.

Michal G: We arrived Chanukah time nearly 18 months ago with a 5 year old and a 2.5 year old. I don’t think it was a problem for them starting part way through the year- they thrived in any case B”H because there was plenty of support from the teachers in the Gan and Maon (daycare). It was nice for the elder one to have time to settle in and make friends in Gan without having to stress about all the extra things in Kita Aleph (although coming from England, it wasn’t such a big deal, he’d already started school there!) I don’t know how different it would be for the 8 year old though. I would say the most important thing for everybody is to have the best Hebrew possible before you come- of course you’ll learn lots more when you arrive PG, but it’s so much easier to deal with all the new things if you have some idea of what’s happening!

Esti: Your 8 year old (2nd grader?) is going to have it the hardest. for his/her sake I’d really try avoid it, A lot of stuff only really gets going after the chaggim (holidays), but by Hanukah, things are really in motion. Having said that, if needs must, come when suits you, Just be aware that the transition could be harder

Miriam: Depending on where you move to, I would come in December, put the kids in full ulpan if available, and have them start school with a basis in Hebrew. Let them make friends through activities. I’d suggest you keep your 5 year old in gan and not put them straight into 1st grade as well. You could probably just put the 4 and 2 year olds in gan right away.

Laura: There are a lot of varying opinions on this. The fact is that kids making Aliyah don’t get much out of the first school year anyway due to the language. In my opinion, coming mid-year has advantages since the class has settled, the other students are all ‘known’ to the teacher, so that the teacher can give specific attention to the ‘new kids’. From arrival through the end of the school year is more or less a wash. I would definitely put them into the school they will continue in because, more important than learning ‘stuff’, they will be able to make friends in their new environment.

Michal H: I didn’t make aliyah with kids, but I’d recommend coming in the summer. You can start the kids in a day camp where they can make friends and ease into the neighborhood without the pressure of homework and grades. At least that way they finish the school year before going into culture shock. Plus, sometimes it’s hard to find school supplies in the winter! I had to get some special 14-line notebooks “off-season” and the stores were all sold out, and said they only really carry them at back-to-school time. In the end, I had to get my son sparkly ones with Snow White, because that’s all that was available. Sure, you can bring your own backpacks, but when it comes to Israeli supplies like the notebook holder, and kalmar (pencil case) – it’ll be hard to find “cool” ones.

Tiffanie: Definitely lots of opinions on this one. We made aliyah in the summer with a 6, 3 and 1 year old. For the little ones I don’t think it would have mattered either way. However, for my 6 year old, summer was a good choice. First grade is a big deal here and if I understand things correctly, the kids get the same teacher for 1st and 2nd…so there will be less transition between 1st and 2nd with regards to the class settling in. I think summer was good for our 6 year old b/c they were able to become fluent enough in Hebrew to following along in class by the time the chagim finished and the class started to settle down (around November). Now, 6 months into the school year the kid is pretty much fluent. I think having that extra wiggle room when expectations were low really helped out and they have time to figure out the various group/cliques etc.

Kate: Moving in the middle of the year can be a big deal, socially, even if you moving within the same country/culture, for a kid — I did it twice. Admittedly it was far easier in the middle of 2nd grade than the middle of 10th grade, but I don’t think it’s wrong to factor it into the decision (for the older 2).

Michal H: I’m just saying, if the kid is in 2nd grade, let him finish the grade before moving or risk screwing up the rest of the year and having to repeat.

Elisheva: Summer time 100% kids do learn fast. but moving to a different country is not the same. USA and Israel are different in so many ways. coming beginning of summer. put them in camp and summer ulpan. And i would start speaking  Hebrew with my kids now at home so they don’t come here knowing nothing.

Laura: One more thing… Don’t automatically hold kids back. They STILL won’t get the Hebrew, and once they do they will be the oldest in the class possibly for no reason. I did this for my son, had him repeat kindergarten and he regretted it for years until finally in 5th grade he had us push him back up to his grade level which meant SKIPPING a grade. No easy feat, and in a second language! My advice is if you weren’t honking of doing it anyway, (I.e. before Aliyah) then go ahead. But don’t bother if its just for Aliyah. They do catch up. Eventually.

Robin: I first thought the mid-year thing was a bad idea, but if they can get in ulpan for that half a year, and then have a good summer camp experience, they might be able to start the following year in a good place. Six months of lost content can be made up once they have the language.

Heidi: We just made aliya from Australia in November with kids aged 8, 6, 4 and 2. I would recommend you coming as soon as possible for all the reasons mentioned above and especially by Laura. Although it was hard, aliya is hard however you do it. My kids got more attention from the teachers as the rest of the class was settled. It’s also cooler, so much easier to do errands. The sooner you do it the sooner the kids get integrated. All kids will have issues with aliya some sooner and some later. Need a lots of patience and emunah (faith) that you are doing the right thing for the whole family. Not just the kids. Need to remember always why you are here and why you chose to come. Also I believe don’t stress too much about getting the kids Hebrew up to scratch before you come. Once they are here it will happen. Good luck!

Readers, have you put your kids in a new school in the middle of the year? Please share your experience in the comments.

More posts on Aliyah from A Mother in Israel

Esther Koifman (Dreisinger)

Connecting with Yom Hazikaron, Israel’s  memorial day for fallen soldiers and terror victims, can be difficult for immigrants. Unlike most Israelis, immigrants may not know any families who have lost loved ones. So I was intrigued when my friend Deena Levenstein wrote about participating in a project to bring attention to the sacrifices made by early immigrants to Israel. It’s a way of connecting families with no one to remember, to heroes who have no one to remember them.

Deena writes:

Today, as part of the MyIsrael project, I am going with my mother and sister to visit the graves of three young people (early twenties) who were each lone Holocaust survivors, made it to Israel and were killed in Israel’s War of Independence, leaving behind no one to visit their graves.

I just read their stories. They are heartbreaking. And it’s inspiring that they came to Israel and fought to make sure Jews, going forward, will have a haven in a world full of those who hate us.

This is a link to one of their stories.

http://www.izkor.gov.il/HalalKorot.aspx?id=91889

The Story of Esther Dreisinger Koifman, 1923-1948

Esther, the daughter of Bluma and Moshe Dreisinger, was born on 27 Heshvan 5684 (November 11, 1923) in the city of Miltz, Poland. The daughter of a religious family. From the age of 6, she was raised in the home of her childless aunt and uncle in the town of Oswiciem, in south-west Poland. The home of her aunt was also a religious, hasidic home. When she finished the required studies in the local Polish school, she helped her uncle in his business.

On the eve of World War II, about 3,250,000 children lived in Poland, which had suffered for years from tremendous anti-Semitism. In September 1939 the war began with the conquering of Poland by Germany. In the coming month the Jews were gathered in ghettos, while the able among them were sent to forced labor.

In the following years 90% of Polish Jews were decimated in the death camps. The largest camp, established near the town of Oswiciem, was known as Auschwitz.

All of Esther’s family, her parents and her adopted aunt and uncle, were murdered in the Holocaust. Only she survived after being transferred from camp to camp, staying in Chezhanov, after being transferred to the Baunberg work camp and from there to other camps, until the day of liberation.

At the end of the war, not finding any remnants of her family, Esther decided to join the training (hachsharah) kibbutz of the Ihud movement in Ostrovic, near Kielce. She moved with the kibbutz to Germany, to the refugee camp in Degendorf, where a training kibbutz “Lanegev” of the “Noham” movement (noar halutzei meuhad)was being formed in Minkofen.

In December1945, Esther and her friends left the American area of Germany and moved to Bergen-Belsen, that had become a DP (displaced persons) camp after liberation. From there they planned to sneak over the German-Belgian border and join the pioneers (halutzim) in Belgium, but they were caught and sentenced to a few months of jail in Baunberg. Upon their release they went to Landsberg, and in the spring of 1946 to Italy. There, in Vilmadona, Esther joined the “Ayala” group of Bnei Akiva.

On August 2, 1946, Esther immigrated with her group on the boat for maapilim (illegal immigrants) boat  “23 Yordei Hasirah”  The boat, organized by the Hagana’s Mossad le’aliyah Bet, sailed from the port at Boca de Magra in Italy with 790 maapilim. When it reached Cyprus the boat was spotted by a British scouting plane that sent a destroyer. The British sailors overtook the boat and towed it to the Haifa port. The maapilim began a hunger strike to protest their expected deportation, but after a violent struggle they were taken onto a deportation boat and  and brought to a detention camp in Cyprus.

In the beginning of 1947 Esther was released from the island, came to Israel and joined Kfar Etzion, the first of the Gush Etzion settlements. She gradually acclimated to the country and its society.

In Kislev of 1947, two months after her arrival,, Esther married Zalman Koifman, a resident of Kfar Etzion.

According to the UN partition plan, from the 29th of November 1947, Gush Etzion was no longer part of the Jewish state. Immediately afterward, the surrounding Arabs began an attack on the Gush and the approach road from Jerusalem, and  blocked it from every direction. During the next few months the Gush was under siege, and supplies arrived only by a supply convoy or by air.

Like all residents of the Gush, Esther served in the Haganah in the Etzioni unit #6 (Jerusalem unit) — and participated in guarding the village during the siege. The Haganah fortified the Gush with fighters from the Harel unit of the Palmach and the field corps of the Irgun from Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.

Because of the importance of Gush Etzion to greater Jerusalem, the Jordanian army (the Arab legion) launched a powerful attack before the end of the mandate and the exit of the British from the country. The attack took place on may 12, 1948, the date on which the Arab forces succeeded in conquering several of the army posts surrounding Kfar Etzion.

The next day, 4 Iyar 5708 (May 13, 1948), the Arab forces opened an attack and stormed Kfar Etzion. Esther and her friends, who were responsible for giving first aid, were in the shelter under the German monastery in the village. The Legion’s strength did not succeed in penetrating the shelter, so it blew up the building overhead, and the defenders were buried under the ruins.

Over a hundred defenders of the village fell on that day, with many murdered after surrender. Esther and her husband were among the fallen.

The next day, the 5th of Iyar 5708 (May 14, 1948), the day of the declaration of Israeli independence, the rest of the defenders of the three Gush Etzion settlements surrendered: Revadim, Masuot Yitzhak, and Ein Tzurim. On that day the Gush stopped existing and the remains of the soldiers were taken to Jordan.

Esther was 24 when she fell. The bodies remained where they had fallen, now Jordanian territory, for more than a year. Their remains were gathered in 1949 in  a special campaign by the army rabbinate, and brought to rest in a large collective grave at Har Herzl in Jerusalem during a national ceremony on 24 Heshvan 5710 (November 17, 1949.

(This page is part of a national project Yizkor, complied by the defense ministry.)

Return to the Western Wall: Passover 2013 by Rahel Jaskow

Every time I visit the Western Wall, the first thing I notice are the changes. Between the excavations, the construction and Jewish Agency Chairman Natan Sharansky’s new proposed plan to expand the Western Wall area to include egalitarian prayer (if the plan should actually be carried out), the area is in flux, a work in progress.

Over the past few years, I’d noticed that the Western Wall and the surrounding areas had become more segregated – or, at least, that there were stricter rules in place. This past Passover, the rules appeared to be somewhat less strictly enforced. There were fewer barriers outside the prayer area and no signs mandating gender segregation throughout the entire plaza, as there had been during festival times in the recent past. There are also new permanent restrooms instead of the temporary ones that had been installed during festivals in recent years. I don’t know what other changes are planned, but I hope to document them as I find them.

Before starting my walk through the plaza, I paused on an outdoor balcony in the Jewish Quarter overlooking the Western Wall Plaza and photographed the area from above. As has been done in previous years, the divider between the men’s and women’s sections was moved slightly to the left, giving the women a bit more room in the outdoor section. (Click on the photo to see a version with notes showing where the divider in the prayer area was on Passover in relation to where it is during most of the year.)

There are quite a few signs on the way into the plaza instructing visitors to dress modestly out of respect to the holy place they are about to enter:

I think that the part about causing “harm to this holy place or to the feelings of the worshippers” would probably be better translated as follows: “… so as to show respect to this holy place and to the feelings of the other worshippers.” I think such a translation, which emphasized the positive (showing respect) over the negative (avoiding hurting worshippers’ feelings and insulting a holy site) would sound better, and less like a veiled threat. Harming a holy place and worshippers’ feelings at the same time sounds like a pretty scary thing to do.

If the guards at the entrance feel that a woman visitor is not sufficiently covered, the women stationed here (and at similar tables at the other entrances, plus a table at the back of the plaza) will give her a scarf to use while she is in the Western Wall plaza. (The tables were not staffed because it was late on Friday afternoon.)

Here, at an adjacent entrance, is more helpful information to visitors who may feel they need to cover up:

Please return the scarves on the way out:

I approached from the northern side this time, and the security personnel waved me through without making me go through any inspection at all. (I guess I didn’t look threatening – I wasn’t carrying a tallit.)

The indoor women’s section

This particular women’s section is not too well known. Its entrance is located fairly deep inside the outdoor men’s section, and unlike in past years, it is now clearly marked.

How to get there? Go into the men’s section (yes, you read that right – it is the only way to get there), all the way to the left until you can’t go any farther (you’ll hit a wall if you try). Now turn right, stay close to the wall along the left side, and walk downward toward the Western Wall. You will pass some bookshelves cut into the wall and what looks like a small room with high bookshelves and a few chairs. Continue downward, sticking close to the wall on the left, and you’ll come to this doorway:

You know the expression “etched in stone”? Well, this certainly is. I did a double-take when I first saw it – but yes, it actually says “Women’s section” in Hebrew and in English.

A closer look at the sign:

I went inside. It was certainly different from what I remembered from years past – I think that the last time I was here was around 2005. It’s been renovated quite a bit since then.

The books on the shelves are copies of The Kotel Siddur, a prayer book with the Friday night service that is rented out (payment in advance) to groups who come to the Western Wall. I didn’t get a chance to look inside the books, but from what I saw on the Western Wall Heritage Foundation’s website, the prayer books are intended for people who are coming to the Western Wall for the first time and are not familiar with Jewish prayers or traditions.

Once I was in the corridor, I heard a man’s voice behind me. “Geveret, geveret,” he called. (“Geveret” is Hebrew for “ma’am.”) “You’re not supposed to be in here.”

I turned in surprise and found myself facing one of the ushers, a young man who began pushing one of the wheeled bookshelves that contained The Kotel Siddur to its destination, wherever it was.

“The sign over the entrance says that this is the women’s section,” I told him. “It’s written right there.”

At the same time, a male worshipper exited through the corridor, passing the usher and me. He looked at me in surprise. “Geveret, you’re not supposed to be here,” he said. “The women’s section is on the other side of the mehitza [divider between the men’s and women’s outdoor sections of the Western Wall].”

“This is a women’s section,” I told him. “It’s written above the door just outside.”

“Where?” the man asked, honestly confused.

“Walk out of the corridor,” I told him. “As soon as you’re outside, turn around and look up, just above the entrance. It’s written right there, above the door.” He left, presumably to check out the truth of what I’d said.

The usher was still looking at me. “You’re not supposed to be here yet,” he said. “This area doesn’t become a women’s section for another hour or so.”

Now it was my turn to be confused. “But it says right above the door, in stone, that this is the women’s section,” I told him. “Where is there any mention of specific times? Can you show me, please?”

“No,” he said, “but everybody knows that. I’m asking you to leave, and you’re supposed to obey the ushers here. Come back in an hour.”

At that very moment, an elderly lady entered the corridor, walking with the aid of a walker. The usher fell silent as she passed him, made the sharp right turn at the end of the hallway and proceeded toward the area just before the doorway leading to the Western Wall, where women customarily pray. We followed quietly, at a distance.

Here is the lady inside the women’s section. Her walker is clearly visible. The stone wall just beyond the doorway is the Western Wall. The women’s section is actually the corridor that leads to the doorway, which runs perpendicular to the Wall. In the past, a door hung with a ragged-looking curtain separated the entrance from the corridor, and women crowded at the door to listen to the services on the other side and murmur the proper responses at the proper times.

Another woman came and joined the first. The usher asked them to wait while he closed the large, heavy wooden door that led to the men’s section, which is right up against the large indoor section of the Western Wall. As the women stepped aside, the usher moved in front of them to close the door.

The door fully open…

…closing…

… and shut.

I realized this was what the usher had meant when he said that the area wasn’t a women’s section yet: apparently, when the door was open, allowing an unobstructed view (and access) to the men’s section, the area could not be considered a proper women’s section. The door, so it seemed, had to be closed before the area was considered proper for women to pray in.

The two women moved two plastic chairs into place. At first, they sat down one behind the other. The woman nearest the door pulled back the curtain a bit to peer at the Western Wall through the latticework.

The woman seated behind her moved up for a closer view.

Here’s a closeup of the latticework they were peering through:

They continued to look at the Western Wall as best they could through the latticework, holding the curtain aside:

Once they had looked as much as they wished, they slowly let the curtain drop back into place…

… and began to pray.

I noticed that a man’s shirt had been flung over the top of the curtain. To whom did it belong? Did the ushers know it was there? I didn’t ask.

It was time to go. One more photo of the entrance as I left:

The stone proclaiming the area a women’s section, not mentioning any particular times of day or other conditions, was still there.

The outdoor men’s section

I started making my way out of the men’s section back to the plaza. Here are some photos of the left side of the men’s section. Some lovely wooden bookshelves with beautiful carvings:

At the far end is a rack where printed sheets of writings on religious topics are kept for worshippers.

Just past the rack is a small room with bookshelves and chairs. It looks like a quiet, relatively secluded place where a person can engage in solitary prayer or study, away from the noise and the crowds. (I’d enjoy having a space like this available to women at the Western Wall.)

The Western Wall plaza

The area at the far end of the plaza, where the restrooms used to be, is now a construction site.

Here are the additional dividers that have been put up behind the prayer area during festival weeks in recent years. A few things are different, though: the signs mandating complete gender segregation in the Western Wall plaza are nowhere to be seen. There are also fewer dividers than in the past.

In the women’s section, which has been temporarily expanded, looking toward one of the many arks that hold any one of the hundred Torah scrolls on the men’s side:

Looking toward the Kotel between the permanent and the temporary dividers:

Looking through the openings in the permanent divider at the temporary one:

Remember the carved bookshelves on the far end of the men’s side, and small room for people who wanted to pray or study in a quieter, more secluded place? Readers may want to scroll up to take another look at that photo and contrast it with this:

This is what the far side of the women’s section looks like. It’s never been nearly as nice as the far side of the men’s section, even before the archaeological digs beneath the Mugrabi Gate began.

More changes: the walkway at the back of the plaza, which was formerly marked as being for men only, did not have the “men only” signs when I was there during Passover. Instead, it had signs directing people to the new permanent restrooms behind the women’s section.

The walkway leading to the security inspection checkpoint had no signs directing men and women to walk on different sides or police dividers to enforce segregation, as in previous years. It was completely clear.

A permanent building for restrooms has been constructed just behind the women’s section. Right now, the new restrooms are for both men and women, with separate entrances. I’ve been told that once construction on the men’s side is completed, the restrooms behind the women’s section will be for women only, but that remains to be seen.

It seems there are more changes ahead for the Western Wall plaza. Recently, Jewish Agency Chairman Natan Sharansky drafted a plan to include a space for egalitarian prayer at the Western Wall in the area known as Robinson’s Arch. As far as I know, his plan makes no mention of women’s tefilla [prayer] groups, which are made up of Orthodox women who pray separately from men. He also hasn’t said what will be done to preserve the archaeological character of Robinson’s Arch. We can only wait and see.

About the author: Rahel Jaskow, a singer, translator and amateur photographer, lives in Jerusalem and blogs at Elms in the Yard. Her award-winning CD of Shabbat songs, Day of Rest, is available at CD Baby.

Update: Rabbi Rabinovich told a Knesset committee that the women do not have enough space and there are plans to move the mehitza and make it more user-friendly.

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No decision was taken by the family as to whether or not I should leave them until the eve of deportation. The lengthy discussions about what ought to be done always ended inconclusively. My parents and brother and sister, together with the great majority of the town’s people, continued to cling to the belief that life would somehow continue. Mother was certain that if death overtook her and her husband, she would be seated at his footstool in the Gan Eden. Her husband would be seated near the head of the table on account of his piety and profound Talmudic learning, and now, since she was sure he was always ready to be martyred for the sake of sanctification of God’s name, she too was prepared for the coming Messianic feast. I do not fear death, Father said, simply, and neither ought you, my son. And I was not going to abandon them without my father’s permission.

That Saturday night, my Father had a complete change of mind. It was Mother who repeated it to me: He is not to stay with us: he has to take his fate in his own hands, and God will help. To me, my father cited the Talmudic passage from Avodah Zarah 8b which related the deed of Judah son of Baba during the Hadrianic persecutions, which included the prohibition against studying the Torah. All those who dared to teach or study Judaism were slain by the Roman authorities. There was an acute danger that the chain of tradition—the Kabbalah—would be severed forever. What did Judah the son of Baba do? He took four young scholars of the tradition and brought them into the mountains, where he placed his hands on them, granting them Ordination. “Come to me, my son, I shall put my hands upon you” said my father. This he did, giving me a kiss.

A little later:

By now the bundle I was to take with me was neatly packed. It contained a shirt, a blanket, shaving equipment, two pairs of socks, and a pair of Tefillin. “We did not pack the Rabbenu Tam Tefillin,” Father noted. Rashi’s Tefillin would be enough for one parading as a Goy. I said nothing, not wishing to shock him with the news that as a Goy, I would no longer wear Tefillin. My little sister Shifrah asked whether she could reveal our secret. Aaron wanted permission to wear my discarded shoes. Mother put a shawl around my neck, “You have been sickly since your birth.”

It was a dark and overcast night as I left the house and the town of my birth. Except for three and a half years in the Yeshivah, academies whose only subject of instruction was Talmud, my entire world consisted of Ozerow and its surrounding villages and forests. Now I was leaving my birthplace, going to the railroad station to purchase a ticket going nowhere. At that time I did not know that there existed tables that listed all the stops of the train. I decided to listen carefully to the people who preceded me in buying the tickets, asking for the same locality. I had already crossed the street when I heard my younger brother and sister calling me. With the tears in her eyes still unwiped, Shifrah told me that I had forgotten to take my false identification papers, which she proceeded to put into my pocket, while giving me a final kiss.

The Last Night Before the Hurban of Ozarov was edited and published by my niece Shifra.  Pictured are my father z”l and my youngest daughter.

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By Liron Kopinsky

G. writes:

I love your blog! especially the baby names sections but I wanted to ask for myself specifically. I am due to have a baby girl B’H at the end of the month and I am thinking of baby girl names that have a nice meaning, sound nice in English (I am from Australia), are a little unique/uncommon and are acceptable in Israel.
We are dati leumi so something that would fit in when we make Aliya please G-d one day.

At the moment my favourites are:

Lee-Elle
Lital
Anael
Talya
Maytal
Halel

Will these names be ok in Israel? I am afraid of naming her the equivalent of Eugine or Gertrude.

Be-shaah tovah! You have an ear for good names–all of these are in the top 50 or so for 2011.

Any other suggestions?

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Top 20 Israeli Baby Names for Boys, 2010

Top 20 Israeli Baby Names for Girls, 2010

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